Chapter 12: Graduation Party

June 4, 1988, McKinley, Ohio

"Are we going to be OK with just one more practice for the wedding after today?" José asked.

"I think so," I replied. "If we really need to, I could make a late practice, say, 8:00pm, on Thursday."

"Why don't we do that just to be safe?" Kim replied. "If the others can make it."

"I'm good with that," Sticks said.

"Me, too," José agreed.

"Same here," Kari said.

We had a good practice, and I felt confident that we'd be fine even without the extra Thursday practice, but José had clearly wanted it, so I didn't say anything about possibly not doing it. It would cut into my time with Rachel and my sleep, but it was just another tradeoff in the long list of tradeoffs I'd have to make if I wanted to continue playing in the band while raising Rachel and attending medical school.

I had taken Rachel to my in-laws before practice, and I'd pick her up in the morning on my way to Columbus to see Dani, as José and I would be leaving for Goshen around noon.

"Want some company until you leave for your redheads?" Kari asked as we left the music room.

"Asks the sexy redhead!" I chuckled. "Sure."

We began walking towards the house.

"How did you get to campus today?" I asked.

"I borrowed Dad's car. I can walk back to get it."

"Or I can drop you off," I replied. "I have to drive right by the parking lot to get to José's apartment."

"Thanks. How was the rest of your first week back in the ER?"

"It's absolutely where I belong. Granted, this week it was more like working at the Free Clinic, but next week I'll be on a team receiving patients who come in via paramedic ambulance. As I said Wednesday night, the change in the law has promoted changes in procedures, and will probably prompt more. We're seeing more walk-in patients than we did before the new law. And next week, I'll very likely learn how to intubate a patient."

"Does it bother you that people have to get sick or be injured for you to learn?"

"People are going to get sick or be injured no matter what I do, so, no, it doesn't bother me, at least not the way you mean. I truly do wish there were no sickness or injuries, but that is the human condition. Thankfully, God has given us the wisdom and ability to discover how to heal people."

"Those observations feel as natural as breathing to you, don't they?"

"Yes. They are very much a part of me, and define who I am, and I can't think any other way. I may not conduct every area of my life according to Orthodox Christian theology, but it does define who I am and my approach to medicine."

"I wasn't trying to be critical," Kari said. "It was simply an observation of who you are, at your core. I've never met anyone who so effortlessly loves everyone, treats them with respect, and is so quick to forgive. And the more I think about it, it's those traits I think Doctor Blahnik wants me to emulate."

"It may appear effortless on the outside, but I have my struggles just as the next guy does."

"Yes, but you don't show them. That part of your interior life is opaque, and you simply model Christian love."

"That opaqueness is part of my defense mechanism," I replied. "If there was one criticism Elizaveta could level fairly at me, it was my lack of display of emotion. I had to make a serious effort to do that with her. And the ability to mask my interior life is the source of my struggles now."

"But you're addressing it," Kari countered, "and you're not nearly as tightly wound as you were just a month ago. I know I'm young and have only a small amount of life experience, but it seems to me that you've made very good progress since you first saw the counselor at the hospital. Granted, I'm judging from exteriors and the small window you've given me into your soul, but I feel you're in a much better place now than you were."

"My biggest struggle is trying to bring my heart, mind, body, and soul into some kind of consensus about the best way forward, to find a proper spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical equilibrium that creates the best possible outcome for Rachel and me."

"May I say something that is obvious, but might not have occurred to you?"

"You may say anything you like!" I replied. "I think that's the core value I provide for you."

"I hadn't thought about that, but that's a good point. You don't take offense at anything I say or questions I ask, and patiently answer them. What I think is obvious, and what you might not have thought about, is that the longer you delay, the more likely it becomes that I become comfortable with the situation."

"The thought had crossed my mind in a general way," I replied. "I was thinking that last night when I was trying to synthesize some kind of answer as to the best way forward. Just out of curiosity, is there some kind of timeline in your mind?"

"No," Kari replied. "And I'm not saying it'll be in a year, but each day that passes brings me closer to the day when I would be ready for the kind of commitment it would take. I know that statement is always true, if you get what I mean."

"Are you asking me to not make a decision?" I inquired as we climbed the steps on the porch.

"I don't think it would be right to do that," Kari said as I unlocked the door to the house. "It would imply that I'd absolutely say 'yes' at some point in the not-too-distant future, and I can't promise that because I have no idea when I'll be ready nor what I'll want. That said, I'm certainly enjoying our Wednesday nights together."

We went into the house and I put my instruments and bag in the study.

"I enjoy them as well," I replied.

"Care to enjoy this redhead before you enjoy two redheads?" Kari asked.

"Bed, bath, and lunch?" I asked.

"Absolutely!"

Forty-five minutes later, after two enjoyable rounds in bed, Kari and I were in the tub with warm, sudsy water rising around our naked bodies.

"Why push me to take Missy and Kelly up on their implied offer?"

"Implied nothing!" Kari replied, laughing. "You just need to understand the coded talk and behavior!"

"I do tend to be a bit clueless in that regard," I replied.

"I think the right response on my part is 'Why not?' You're a single, red-blooded American male, nobody has any claims on you, they're both over eighteen, and you have an admitted thing for redheads!"

"Just because I might want to do something doesn't mean I should," I countered.

"So you admit you DO want to!" Kari said impishly.

"I qualified it with 'might'," I replied.

"You did, but with you, that usually means that you do, but you're conflicted. I'm going to guess it's the whole 'sin' thing. Far be it from me to make any judgments in that regard, but I think that ship sailed last December. You're trying to hold yourself to a rigid standard that I don't think is mentally, emotionally, or physically healthy for you, at least at this stage of your life.

"I don't think it says anything bad about you, Mike. And if you're wondering if there is some self-interest, I freely admit that I don't want you to decide to stop having sex with me until your relationships require you to stop. Sex with you is fantastic, and I honestly don't want to stop.

"I didn't really want to stop when we did, but it made sense right at that moment. I think that was an error on my part. Anicka made a point about true intimacy, and it does make a huge difference. Yes, cutting off my clothes made me hot, and the sex was out of this world, but making love twice then coming to soak in the tub and talk is sublime. I'll miss this when it has to stop, but until then, please don't go down that path."

"To be honest, you aren't the only one who has made that point to me over the past few weeks. Several friends have suggested I take what amounts to a spiritual break, and I've considered it. The one fly in the ointment, if you will, is that I see Dani in Columbus on Sunday mornings and go to church, but it's possible I could switch to going to visit her on Saturdays."

"I'm not sure telling you to stay away from church is something I could do, but it sounds as if you're hearing that from Clarissa or Lara, or maybe both of them."

"Both," I replied.

"Then I would be in good company if I were to suggest it. Honestly, Mike, what you've been doing is working, including having these heart-to-heart talks. Keep doing it and get to the place you want to be mentally and emotionally, then address your spirituality. I know you won't stop believing, nor will you stop saying your daily prayers. But from everything I've seen, going to church and interacting with what I guess I'd call 'organized religion' is hurting, not helping."

"A point which has also been made, and an observation I made when the crap hit the fan with our former bishop."

"If you say that..."

"Yeah, I know," I sighed.

"Don't get down in the dumps," Kari said. "Just think, you'll absolutely get to take someone home from the wedding!"

"You, right?"

Kari laughed, "Not so dumb after all!"

"I do have my moments!"

June 4, 1988, Goshen, Ohio

"We never discussed exactly what we'd play today," José said when we were about halfway to Goshen.

"I figured we'd handle it similar to those mini concerts and jam sessions we did in Rickenbacker when we were undergrads. You and I had a longer playlist than Code Blue, and we can do a bit of jazz."

"Cool. Did you hear back from the redhead about Cynthia and Gina?"

I laughed, "When Missy called last night to confirm, she said they'll both be there and are looking forward to seeing you!"

"It's the little joys in life that make it worth living," José grinned.

"So not looking for Mrs. Ochoa?"

"Not actively, but if she happens along, I'll be happy. You know I was ready to marry Dona, but her saying no kids, ever, and making it clear that was the end of the discussion was too much. It's not like I wanted five kids or something, just one or two, and one would have been fine, but she was adamant."

"That would have been an uncrossable line for me, too," I replied. "Having kids is important to me."

"Obviously, from the way you dote on Rachel!"

"I don't call her 'Tsarina' for nothing!"

"Speaking of her, is there a set time you have to be back?"

"No. I'll pick her up in the morning on my way to Columbus to see Dani."

"That seems as if it's moving steadily towards resolution."

"Maybe," I replied. "It's moving forward, but I need a few more conversations with Elizaveta before I'm ready to truly let go and move forward. What I don't want to do is to, in effect, swap in an interchangeable part. I have to be sure I'm deciding for the right reasons."

"Interested in my advice?" he asked.

"Sure," I replied.

"Well, first, I advise you to bang the two redheads the way Sticks bangs his drums! After that, you really ought to consider Lara."

"She and I have discussed it, and she's pointed out that we're miles apart spiritually."

"You and Kari are miles apart spiritually; you and Lara are a baby step. It just seems stark because of a few externals. Well, at least from my lapsed Roman Catholic perspective."

"It's a bit deeper," I replied. "But my spiritual state is such that I have no clue how wide that gap actually is at the moment."

"Don't write her off, Mike."

"I actually told Clarissa that before I asked anyone else, I was going to ask Lara. I actually did that with Clarissa before I married Elizaveta."

"I'd have suggested Clarissa if it weren't for the little problem that she likes pussy as much as we do!"

"Even being soulmates can't overcome that one, no matter how much either of us might wish it could. Clarissa actually considered it, and I mean seriously considered it, but in the end, she couldn't see it working given her orientation."

"Yeah, I don't see that. On the other hand, I do expect to see plenty of teenage flesh in bathing suits at the party!"

"And all of it eighteen or over," I replied. "I did ask, and it's all kids who graduated with Missy and Kelly."

"So my competition is a bunch of eighteen-year-old guys?" José asked with a smirk. "I win!"

"The guitar and the whole 'Latin lover' persona should get you anything you want!"

"I'm counting on it!"

We arrived at Missy's house at 1:45pm and after she and Kelly greeted us, she took as around to the backyard where there was a decently sized above-ground pool, several picnic tables, and a gazebo where I saw two chairs and two music stands.

"You guys can play there," Missy said. "If that works."

"It should," I replied. "How many kids will be here?"

"Twenty-two besides us, slightly more girls than guys."

"How long does the party last?" José asked.

"Until 7:00pm, officially," Missy replied. "But Kelly, Cynthia, Gina, and I hoped you guys would stay after for a more intimate concert!"

"I'm in!" José declared. "But Mike drove, so it's up to him."

He raised an eyebrow slightly to encourage me to say yes.

"Say 'yes', Mike!" Kelly begged. "Please?"

"We promise you won't regret it!" Missy added.

"Sure," I replied. "But I do have to be up early tomorrow morning, so we can't stay too late."

"Yes!" Missy and Kelly both exclaimed.

"What's the plan for music?" I asked.

"We figured you guys could play for maybe twenty minutes every hour, if you can handle that."

"I think so," I agreed. "José?"

"Sure. We have a ton of sheet music with us with guitar tabs, so you can pick what we play. We'll also jam a bit with jazz."

"You guys have done this before?" Kelly asked.

"Yes."

The other guests began arriving, and as José had hoped, it included a dozen High School girls wearing various types of bathing suits, including a couple of string bikinis. The mix was fourteen girls and ten guys, and around 2:30pm, José and I played our first set of five songs the girls picked, which were very well received. When we finished, we got ourselves Cokes from a cooler.

"You don't mind if I swim, do you?" he asked, nodding towards the pool where a group of girls, including Cynthia and Gina, were sitting with their feet dangling in the water.

"Not at all," I grinned. "Have fun. Just be ready to sing in about forty minutes!"

"I'm always ready for action!" he declared.

"Too much information!" I chuckled.

He went to the pool, and I went to sit in the gazebo out of the sun, which, despite the temperature only being just about 70°F, would cause me to turn as red as a boiled lobster. About a minute later, a striking girl with jet black hair and skin which was creamy white came into the gazebo.

"Mind if I sit here?" she asked. "I burn super-easy."

"Me, too. Have a seat. I'm Mike."

"Nadiya," she replied. "But I spell it with an added 'y', not like Nadia Comăneci.

"Eastern European?" I asked.

"My great-great-grandparents on my mom's side came from a small town in what my grandfather calls Austrian Galicia. I'm named for my great-grandmother and grandmother. My dad's family is mostly German, but with some Polish and Swedish, too."

"I'm half Russian and half Dutch. The Russians came over at the time of the Russian Civil War, but the Dutch side has been here since Manhattan was a Dutch colony."

"Missy said you're in medical school. How long before you're a doctor?"

"One year to go," I replied. "Are you going to college?"

"I need a break, so I'm taking a year off. I took the SAT and ACT, but I decided to work for a year before I start college."

"Not swimming, Mike?" Missy asked, coming to the gazebo in her emerald one-piece.

"Unlike my Latin friend," I replied, "I burn to a crisp in the noonday sun! When it's not overhead, I'll swim. So maybe after 4:00pm?"

"Nadiya has the same problem, though I'd kill for skin that color!"

The thought of the combo of red hair and creamy-white skin was sufficient to cause a brief stirring, though thankfully, it went away almost immediately. Missy went back to the pool, and I took note of her cute butt, which was barely concealed by her suit.

"I have to wear hats and long sleeves during the Summer," Nadiya said.

"Fortunately, it's not so bad for me," I replied.

"What kind of doctor are you going to be?"

"A trauma surgeon," I replied. "Basically, a doctor who works in what you would call the Emergency Room, but who is trained to do surgical procedures. The job is to save the most critically injured patients who come into the Emergency Department."

"That's amazing!"

"Mike, Nadiya, we're going to play volleyball," Missy said. "Come play!"

We both got up and joined the others, though I took off my jeans, so I was wearing just my bathing suit and T-shirt. There were twelve people playing, so we had six on each side. I hadn't played since High School gym class, but except for one tall blonde girl and an equally tall blonde guy, nobody was better than anyone in a typical gym class.

We played two games, with the team I was on losing both, though it was close. After the second game, we took a break to get something to drink, then José and I played our second set, this time jamming together for about ten minutes similar to how we had back at Taft, then playing three requests.