Chapter 20

This was fucking bad! Very, very bad. I realized that it was bad the moment I woke up in the morning, wondering why I was naked, and the memories flooded back into my mind. I couldn’t believe that I allowed them to see me like that, no matter how exhausted or in how much pain I was. I was supposed to be used to that crap by now. And I thought I was beyond it.

Of course, Claire is my mother, and Ava is my sister. That’s just a biological fact I can’t change, no matter how much I thought about it since Ava’s sixteenth birthday. So What, if I called them ‘Mom’ and ‘Sis’? Those are just words to describe the familial relation we had to each other. It’s not like I dropped the L-bomb, THAT would have been a lie.

The problem was that, after I finally called them ‘Mom’ and ‘Sis’, the L-word was surely the next thing they expected to hear from me. This was a sign that their efforts were appreciated. And now look at what kind of situation we were in, that finally made me appreciate their efforts. Right after they had given me sexual relief.

They would think that the only reason I called them by those titles was because they got me off. Which it wasn’t! But if I went back to calling them by their names now, when we weren’t in bed, this would become the only possible conclusion. If I didn’t go back to using their names, however, they would still remember what it was that got me to this point. Either way, it was the wrong message I sent.

It really wasn’t like that. It wasn’t emptying my balls into Ava’s mouth that caused this change. Though, I wasn’t really prepared to have that discussion with them yet, so what the hell was I supposed to do now!? I had to keep calling them like I did last night. At least, that would give me some time to fix this, and maybe get this crap back on track.

I got up and slid across the mattress to sit on the edge of the bed, gathering my thoughts. Then I found my crutch, put on some shorts, got three hundred dollars in cash out of the safe, and hobbled into the living room where Claire was already busy preparing breakfast.

“Good Morning, Honey!” she smiled at me after I joined her at the stove. She leaned over and kissed my cheek, but then looked at me expectantly.

“Good Morning ... Mom.”

The way her smile turned into a beam of pure happiness told me everything I needed to know. She immediately helped me to the table, made me sit down, and continued her breakfast preparations.

Soon after, Ava sauntered into the room, dressed in nothing but her small black no-show thong and a fitting sports bra. She was incredibly attractive, and the sway of her hips told me that she knew it. She walked up to stand next to me, leaned down with her arms crossed behind her back, and also kissed my cheek.

“Good Morning, little Brother.” she whispered in my ear, giving me a perfect view of her shapely figure. The only reason I didn’t get turned on by it was the inner discussion about last night’s slip-up that still went on in my head.

“Good Morning, Sis.”

Just like Claire, she also developed a magnificent smile upon hearing me say it. She gave me a second kiss, this time on the lips, before sitting down opposing me. When Claire joined us at the table and everyone had a chance to eat something, I started on the day’s plan.

“So, what’s the chances for you and Aaron getting back together?” I asked, causing Claire to blink at me in confusion for a moment. Then she shared a look with Ava, collected herself, and sighed heavily.

“Until Monday, I would have said the chances are slim.” she reached over and took Ava’s hand. “He hurt your sister when he lied to her, and he’s shown little remorse even after we moved out. But now? After hiding from us that you were in the hospital after being shot, I feel ... I feel like I’ll have to make a decision between him and my children. That is not a competition he could hope to win.”

She looked at me with conviction, and I believed her.

“What about Logan?” I asked next, trying to keep my voice free of emotions and judgment, and saw both of them exchange looks. “He’s one of your children as well.”

“He’s a dick.” Ava suddenly huffed.

“Yeah, but to be fair, he’s been a dick for a while. It’s just the first time you were on the receiving end.” I reminded her.

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, since she squeezed her mother’s hand and looked at the table in regret after I said it.

“I’m sorry, Tim.” Ava’s voice was remorseful. “When he totally ignored me, like I wasn’t even worth his time if I wouldn’t let him fuck me however he wanted, I felt so ... unwanted. I cried, like, the whole weekend. I can’t even imagine how I must’ve made you feel over the years.”

I refrained from repeating the comment I made when John told me something similar. It wouldn’t do anyone any good.

“Appreciated, but not what I meant. The question is how Mom’s gonna deal with it.” I looked at Claire, waiting for an answer. I deliberately asked how ‘she’ is going to deal with it, not how ‘we’ are going to.

“I don’t know, Honey.” she sighed. “After we moved out, he came over the next day. He did apologize to your sister, saying that he didn’t mean to hurt her, that he simply didn’t realize what effect that could have on her. Then he offered to make it up to her ... but once he realized that none of us was in the mood to continue, he just left. He drove back to his college dorm. just ... I don’t know.”

I did not like the look she gave me. Like she was asking for my opinion. I wanted to know what they were thinking. Learn about their plans on how to turn this shitshow around, and gauge their resolve to follow through with it. If I were to give them my opinion on Logan, tell them how I wasn’t in the least surprised about him not staying to support and help them through this, they would know what I wanted to hear. The danger of that influencing their decision was too great.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t care what you do.” I clarified, and saw both of them flinch again. “Let me finish. I don’t care, because I wouldn’t be able to condone or condemn either decision you make. Aaron and Logan are both burned for me. I want nothing to do with them anymore. But that’s different for you.”

“How do you mean?” Ava asked carefully.

“I’ve dealt with their shit for years, and I’m no longer willing to tolerate either of them in my life. But that’s just me. For you, it’s new. I couldn’t really blame Mom for wanting to try and work on their marriage. They were happily married for over two decades! And, who knows, maybe what happened on Christmas is my fault. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have demanded they use a condom, and the whole debacle would’ve possibly never happened.”

Yes, it was a test. I just hoped they wouldn’t suspect as much, and sincerely think about their options before making a decision. I didn’t want them to say whatever they thought I wanted to hear, just to then turn around later and do what they actually wanted. So, I gave them an Out. The reasons I just listed were genuine points that would excuse getting back together with Aaron and Logan without having to fear my resentment.

“Can ... Can we think about it, Honey?” Claire asked.

“Sure. You should, to be honest.” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to keep my facial expression neutral so as to not give my true feelings away. “But while you think about it, I need you to drive me to the bank.”

“Why?”

“I need Aaron removed from my bank account.” I answered matter of fact.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, then Claire just commented with “Oh.”

When we had finished eating, I got up to hobble into my bedroom, I went into my closet, got a change of clothes, and then made my slow way into the bathroom. Though, instead of Claire, like I had expected, Ava showed up to help me.

After I overcame my initial surprise, I allowed her to help me. She must have talked with Claire about this, because she knew exactly what she had to do and how to do it without hurting me, never skipping a beat. When she had started soaping me up with the sponge, though, she broke the silence for the first time.

“I don’t need time to think about it.”

“Huh?”

“Whether I want to get Dad and Logan back. I don’t need time to think about it. I already told you that I’m yours. If anything, I’m even more sure of that than before Christmas.”

“Oh?” I felt my eyebrows rise. “And how did that happen?”

“Yes, little brother, I like to be used.” she said, and started soaping up my dick, which quickly hardened despite having a quite important discussion at the moment. Then she continued in a rather sultry voice. “What you saw Mom do to me last night, when she forced me to take your cock down my throat, completely ignoring my choking and gagging ... it was a lot more than what you did to me. But I love it that way with her.”

“Wouldn’t you be better off with more guys, then? Logan and Aaron could give you that.” I remarked, and she looked a little angry at that.

“No, they couldn’t. I love it when Mom does it to me, but that’s because I know that she’s also looking out for me. She would never allow anyone to really hurt me. And the same goes for you. Dad and Logan want to do it to me, you and Mom want to do it for me. I only managed to see that after I spent time with you. You knew that I’m submissive, and yet you were always holding back to make sure I’m enjoying it first. And I love you for that.”

Was that it? Was that the point where she expected me to say that I love her too?

“Okay. So, what do you want from me, then? Tell me.” By now she had dropped any pretense about cleaning my cock. She was simply jerking me off with a soapy sponge, so I had a little trouble articulating myself.

She got down to her knees and placed her mouth next to my ear.

“It wasn’t just Mom who wanted to be the devoted wife for you, Tim. I want to devote myself to you too. I want you to use me whenever and however you need. If you want me to stay naked in your home, only wearing high heels to be always sexy and accessible for you, I will. Or maybe you’d prefer thigh high stockings? A corset maybe? A permanent buttplug, so you can fuck my tiny little ass anytime, without much preparation? Or put a leash on me, I don’t care. I will do whatever it is you need. If you want me to spend the entire night with your cock in my mouth, and swallow your load every time the stimulation makes it hard, I will do it until my stomach is so full of your cum that I have to puke to make room for more.”

“Where the hell is that coming from!?” By now my eyes were huge. I was shocked. But also extremely turned on.

“I promised to be yours and yours alone. You showed me the difference between being used, and being used for fun. And then I go and give myself to someone else. Look how that turned out for me.” My eyes were closed as the pleasure got to me. “Yes, wouldn’t you like to have your sisterly cumslut as your personal fucktoy, little Brother? Please, please, accept me.”

And with that, she nibbled on my ear and her hand went into overdrive, jerking me off in long and quick strokes.

“I wasn’t planning on kicking you to the streets. But ... How much of a wife do you want to be?” I asked, trying to hold back my moans.

“If this is you asking if you can fuck Kathy, Mindy, and Laureen, I’m perfectly fine with it. But I will probably restrict myself to you. I know you would take good care of me. I think a man like you is rare.” Then she leaned forward again, and whispered in my ear. “My pills are in my bathroom, next to the sink.”

And with that, she leaned down and basically kissed the tip of my dick. Her lips parted just enough to barely encompass its opening, so when I started shooting, it went past her lips and filled her mouth. She moaned until my spasms subsided, then got up and opened her mouth to show me how much was in there. But she didn’t swallow. When she rinsed the soap off my body, she still didn’t swallow. While she dried me off and helped me get dressed, I could see her cheeks still puffed up and her jaw move, like she was savoring the taste. And when she finally walked out of the bathroom, she was still unwilling to free her mouth of its contents to comment on Claire’s curious look.

That was a side of my sister I had never seen or heard of before. But why did she point out where she kept her pills? Did she want me to know that she was still safe, or did she hope for me to reinstate the fantasy I had provided during her last stay in my apartment? She had to know this couldn’t work out, right? And she had to know me well enough by now to realize that I wasn’t looking for their devotion.

I shook my head. No use to speculate. I had stuff to do. When I got back into the living room, Claire was already waiting for me. She must have taken her own shower while Ava helped me.

In the bank, we quickly learned that removing Aaron from my bank account was harder than I thought. While Claire might be the one who opened the account with me, Aaron was still listed as the third co-holder with equal rights as Claire and me. So, as long as Claire couldn’t provide the bank with a court order regarding his loss of custody over me, he would retain that access.

“Fine. I’ll trust you.” I said, as Claire gave me an apologetic look, and turned to the clerk. “Let’s open a new account for me with only my mother as a joint holder, and then transfer the money from my current account into the new one.”

While the clerk got to work, Claire grabbed my hand and even interlaced her fingers with mine. I could see her bottom lip tremble a little as her eyes were getting glassy. I had not expected this to mean so much to her. Not wanting an embarrassing emotional scene in public, I chose to squeeze her hand in an attempt to calm her down, but that only made it worse, as she let out a short uncontrolled chuckle! So, next I tried to distract her.

“Maybe you should open an account for yourself while we’re already here?”

The clerk perked up while Claire blinked at me.

“Why?”

“Well, according to Steve Harvey, every couple should have at least four accounts. A shared household account for the bills, a shared savings account for vacations and unexpected expenses, and two individual accounts for the partners to do as they like, so they won’t have to justify or explain every little personal expenditure.” I explained, and she looked at me in a mixture of amusement and amazement. “I just spent a whole week watching Daytime TV in the hospital, what did you expect!?”

That made her laugh.

“Okay, but what would I put into that account? The joint account with your fa ... with Aaron is basically empty.”

Huh. Did she just consciously avoid calling him my father? That was a nice gesture!

“Ah.” I said, as the Clerk immediately lost interest in our conversation, and pulled out my cash to hand her three-hundred dollars.

“What’s that for!?” she sounded genuinely confused. And more importantly, she didn’t even once glance at the eight-hundred Dollars I was still holding. She was simply wondering why I gave her money.

“Have you forgotten already? Being my nurse? That’s for this week.”

“Oh. Yes. Of course I haven’t forgotten.”

She very obviously forgot about it. Completely. I had wondered if she accepted my offer to pay her so eagerly because she had money trouble, or because it would mean she could definitely stay in my apartment to take care of me. I guess I had my answer right then.

I gave the remaining cash to the clerk to put into my new account, and told him to transfer almost all of my money from my current account into the new one as well. With that, I had $2,600 in the bank, safely out of Aaron’s reach, and once I got back home and could transfer the money from my paypal account, I was definitely able to pay the bills on the first and wait until my salary would come around.

As soon as we were back in the car, Claire reached over and took my hand again.

“Honey, I ... I just want to thank you for giving me a chance. I promise I won’t disappoint you again! I love you very much!” she smiled, and then looked at me with that expectant look I was growing accustomed to.

“Sure.” I responded lightheartedly, emphasized by a nod, and could see from her wavering smile it was not what she had hoped to hear.

What did she expect? I acknowledged her status as my mother and gave her a chance to not immediately screw me over again. She should realize herself that, while this was a long way off from love, it was already a lot better than what she could have expected a month ago.

“Then ... Do you ... need anything else?” she asked, her tone was distinctly less happy.

“Lowes.”

“Lowes? What for?” she asked, but started the car and pulled out of the parking lot without delay.

“They have canes. I want to get rid of the crutch.”

“Doesn’t the crutch work better than a cane?”

“Don’t know about that, but in Dr. House, it looked easier to handle than a crutch. I’ll also look less like I’m a total invalid.”

That got a look from her. First it was disapproving, but quickly turned into pity.

“Honey, no offense, but you’re barely able to wash yourself right now. So...” she let her voice trail off.

“I said ‘less like a total invalid’, didn’t I?” I chuckled, and the topic was done.

While I entered the store, Claire opted to wait outside. I didn’t know why, but I suspected it was because she wanted to avoid the temptation to talk me into a more stylish crutch instead of a cane. I spent a good half hour there, accompanied by a quite eager sales clerk who appreciated my Dr. House reference much more than Claire had. Apparently I wasn’t the first one to ask.

When I came out of the store, Claire hastily ended a phone call.

“There you are. Honey, I’m sorry, but do you have anywhere else to go today?” she quickly asked, a little nervous.

“No, why? You got something planned?”

“No, no. Johnny needs me for something. Could we stop by his place before we go home? Unless you’re tired, of course. I could drop you off before I meet with him.”

I could clearly hear her voice shift halfway through. That offer to drop me off and then visit her brother without me was just an afterthought. She not only wanted me to accompany her for some reason, I was fairly certain that she wouldn’t have a reason to visit John at all if I wasn’t accompanying her. I managed to not let my suspicion show and agreed to go with her.

The reason became pretty clear shortly after we arrived. As soon as we stepped through the door, Claire vanished with John, while Danny offered to keep me company in their living room. Though, I refused to sit next to her on the sofa when she offered me the seat.

The last time I was in this house, we had discussed buying the foreclosure houses at the kitchen table. The last time I was in their living room, however, was Ava’s sixteenth birthday. When I saw Claire fuck her brother on that very sofa Danny was now sitting on, and later saw Maggie suck off her father on that same sofa. Looking for alternatives, images of Logan fucking Danny on the Loveseat popped into my memory. The only piece of furniture that didn’t spark memories of the discovery that started me on this journey, was the armchair, so that is where I sat while ignoring Danny’s curious look.

“So.” she said, and straightened herself out after moving seats to sit a little closer to me. “How are you?”

“Fine. How about you?”

“You sure you’re ‘fine’, Tim? I thought we were past you holding back.” she smiled.

Realizing she ignored my question to keep digging, I understood what she was doing.

“So it wasn’t John who Claire was on the phone with when I came out of the store, it was you.” I observed, and her smile vanished. “How about you get to the point and simply tell me what you need this time, instead of trying to sneakily coax information out of me?”

She shifted uncomfortably, and it wasn’t just because of my cold tone of voice. I instantly knew my assumption was correct. It was remarkable how often that happened whenever I simply assumed they were trying to deceive me in some way. Now I knew they needed something from me. I took a good look at the room and the connected doors, waiting for one of those to open and reveal some sort of surprise.

“I’m sorry. Old habits. I assure you we don’t plan on deceiving you or anything like that. I just thought it would be better to ease into the topic.” She sounded like she actually meant it, and I decided that there was no use in speculating. I would learn the truth one way or the other anyway.

“Alright. Then, why am I here?”

“I hear you called Claire ‘Mom’ again.” she smiled again, waiting for me to say ... something. When that didn’t happen, and I just looked at her waiting to continue, she did. “And yet, you still refuse to respond when they tell you that they love you.”

I looked at her in astonishment for a moment before I found my voice again.

“Refuse? Danny, I’m not punishing them.” I said matter of fact, and could see I had hit the nail on its head by the way she recoiled in surprise.

“You ... you’re not?” she sounded just as astonished as I had felt a few moments ago.

“No. Why would you even think that? Did it never occur to you that I’m not refusing to say it, but simply refuse to lie about it?”

“You mean...” Her eyes grew big. That was obviously not a possibility she had entertained so far.

“Yes. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear from me, but that’s how it is. And it’s been that way for a while.”

“A while...?” She was still shocked. She REALLY never thought it possible.

“I couldn’t tell you the exact time. But, somewhere around Ava’s seventeenth, when I had effectively moved in with Tess and my life was on that short-lived uptake, I ... kinda took stock of myself. And I realized that what I felt for you all was more akin to familial obligation than love. We just ... grew apart, I guess.”

“Tim, that doesn’t happen so fast.” she protested. Either she was drunk, on drugs, or in denial.

“Danny, just because you only learned about what was going on at Thanksgiving, doesn’t mean that it only went on since Thanksgiving.” I said sternly. “At fourteen, I was already reduced to the position of roommate. At fifteen, I had to get a job to support myself. At sixteen, we had reached the point where my birthdays didn’t register anymore and Claire didn’t know how to initiate a conversation with me. And now, at seventeen, I could only think about getting out of that house, while they didn’t even notice me being gone. Stop acting like it happened over night!”

“But ... we’re your family! You don’t just...”

“Yes, you ‘just’. You offer couples’ therapy, right? Tell me, why do long distance relationships fail so much?”

She looked at me for a moment thinking about it, then her expression darkened.

“Because distance breeds loneliness. It’s a gradual decline in intimacy, from the loss of trust to the loss of feeling loved. With the lack of physical and emotional support, it’s only a matter of time before people start looking for that support somewhere else, and their original partner gets slowly removed from their thoughts.” she answered quietly.

“Doesn’t that sound familiar?” I asked, with a single raised eyebrow.

“But that’s romantic love. That’s different.” she tried, and I could hear she wasn’t convinced herself.

“No, it’s not, and you know it. Affection is Affection. It’s the very same neurological process, with the very same chemicals involved. The difference between the love you may feel for a friend and the love you feel for your family, are familiarity and emotional intimacy. You grew up with these people, you know them better than anyone else in the world, and you know they got your back unconditionally. I may have grown up with you people, but my own mother couldn’t tell you what my favorite food is, and I certainly don’t expect any of you to have my back.”

She looked almost panicky when I finished.

“But, you are calling her ‘Mom’ again!”

And now she sounded panicky, as well.

“Yes.”

“If you don’t love her, why would you do that?” Her tone had moved on to urging. Why was she so desperate?

“That’s ... hard to explain.”

“Well, try me!”

I groaned. It actually wasn’t hard to explain, I just really didn’t want to.

“Did they tell you when I first called her that?” I asked, and she nodded. “Did you read the letter she wrote for me?”

“Yes. I read all her letters. The one you got wasn’t her first attempt.”

“Look,” I sighed. “spending New Year’s Eve all alone in a sterile hospital room was a rather sobering experience. So when I read her letter ... I decided to believe her. It didn’t really explain what I wanted to know, but what was in there made sense. So, I was inclined to give her a chance. That was the reason I allowed them to move in and risk letting them help me. And then they actually helped me. Claire actually behaved like I would expect from a mother. She really tries to take care of me.”

“But you still only said it out loud after they both went to bed with you.” she noted. “Why?”

“That’s ... I hadn’t received any love or emotional support from any of you for years. Like in your explanation just now, I had to move on and find it somewhere else. And then they move in and genuinely take care of me. They ... The whole thing last night was ... Being treated so tenderly, with love and care, while their sole concern was to make me feel better ... Of course that affected me.”

“I understand.” she simply nodded.

“And to top it off, I’ve been in constant physical pain since fucking Thanksgiving! In the past eight weeks, I was beaten, stabbed, shot, and had multiple bones broken! Just when my damn broken rib heals, I get a broken collarbone instead. I have a hole in my leg that hurts like hell, my chest hurts because I keep cramping whenever I unconsciously move my damn shoulder, and my back hurts from leaning on the fucking crutch the whole day.” I was now wildly gesturing around with my healthy hand while my voice heated up. “And then they do that to me, and all the pain is gone! Completely! My muscles relaxed, my back relaxed, nothing strained my wounds ... it was heaven!”

I had to calm down and collect my thoughts before I could continue.

“But the real deal wasn’t what they did, but what they didn’t do. I had my first P.T. session yesterday, and I was a mess afterwards. When they got me into bed, they had me at my absolutely fucking weakest and lowest. They could’ve used my condition to secure a roof over their heads, by telling me how I could have them every day if I let them stay. They could’ve used it to find out if I really burned all that stolen cash, by asking for the combination to my safe. Or they could’ve used it to get back at Aaron, by stopping what they were doing and refusing to continue until I called him. But they didn’t do anything like that. They really only cared about making me feel better because I was in pain. That’s what I want from my family. So, I acknowledged that they are my mother and sister. But I don’t fall in love from a blowjob.”

“So, when you told Claire in the bank that you trust her...” her voice trailed off, and her hand moved in a circular motion, encouraging me to complete her sentence.

“ ... I meant that, after I had risked letting them move in and they didn’t give me any reason to regret that decision yet, I’m now willing to risk trusting her with my bank account. As little as there is in it.” I said, not pointing out how this wasn’t really a new risk I was taking, since she had access to my old account as well. If I wasn’t so embarrassed about how much I already owed Bill, I’d have asked him instead of Claire.

“Little?” she perked up. “Didn’t you find the documents for the college fund attached to Claire’s letter?”

“I did. What of it? It’s nice to know that they don’t have to use my money again in half a year, but it’s not like Logan’s college will give me my money back so he can pay out of the fund instead.” I commented nonplussed.

“No, but...” Now she seemed just as confused as I was. “You can take your money back from the fund.”

I blinked at her. That was news to me.

“Danny, do you happen to have a copy of that document lying around? Because, as far as I remember, the beneficiaries of that fund were explicitly listed. My name wasn’t in that very short list.”

“WHAT!?” I suddenly heard John’s distant voice through the kitchen passthrough, and my and Danny’s heads snapped towards it.

Next, Danny’s head snapped back to me, regarding me with a nervous and embarrassed look while I glared daggers at her. So that was the reason for her panicky behavior and why she tried so urgently to get favorable statements about Claire out of me. She had her and John listening in on us.

“Not trying to deceive me, huh? Just making it seem like we’re having a private conversation, so I say shit you knew I wouldn’t say with her next to me. How about, next time, you try to parent-trap us to ‘sort out our differences’?” I said in a mocking voice.