Chapter 19

Even though Nora was openly mocking my decision to refuse visitors while I was incapacitated, she and the rest of the Millers seemed to respect it. Which I greatly appreciated, as it would be another two days before the doctors decided that I would get my catheter removed and be allowed to use the bathroom. My ‘silent solitude’, as Nora had called it, was interrupted in the afternoon of the following day when I received an unexpected text message from Ava.

“hey kathy asked if I could give her your phone number”

I stared at her message for a full minute before I decided to reply.

“Who TF is Kathy?”

“girl from cheer team bout my height red hair”

“No idea who you’re talking about. So, no.”

“why would she ask for your number though”

“Don’t know, don’t care. Just don’t give my number to other people.”

Of course I knew who Kathy was as soon as Ava gave her description. It was the girlfriend of the guy who made fun of me for only having slept with one single girl. The guy I put down for thinking he was God’s gift to women, simply because he knew how to throw a ball. His girlfriend suddenly asking for my number did not make me excited. No matter what the two of them had planned that would require my phone number, I wanted no part in it. I was more concerned about Ava’s inability to use punctuation in her texts, than the remote possibility of hooking up with Kathy.

It didn’t end there, though. About two hours later, when I was just trying to distract myself with a little work on my laptop, I got another text from Ava.

“mindy and laureen are asking for your number too”

“Who TF are Mindy and Laureen now?”

“other girls from cheer team”

“Only girls from the cheer team I know are You, Mia, and Joan. That’s it. Answer is still no. Don’t give my number to other people.”

“mindy wants 2 know if U R seeing someone.”

“Tell her that I am, so she stops asking.”

“Why are they asking me for your number and if you have a gf. what happened”

“We played Truth or Dare at Mia’s. Things escalated. I’m a Sex God now and their boyfriends can’t compare anymore.”

“Yeah right” This was followed by a multitude of eyeroll and laughing emojis. At least she took it with humor.

This wasn’t good. Mia had suggested that my popularity might have gone up after her friends saw me push Campbell out of the room, which would probably entail a significant improvement of my school life. Though, at that moment, I had other scenarios on my mind.

If Ava asked her friends why they wanted my number, they would surely tell her about what really happened at Mia’s. Consequently, she should be able to guess that I was in the hospital. At that moment, I would learn whether or not the rest of the family somehow shared Aaron’s renewed resentment towards me.

But, thinking about it, Ava did not ask about where or how I was. So, either her friends hadn’t told her yet, or she really didn’t care. Or, maybe, she did know, but had also learned about my wish to not be on display, and they simply chose to respect that. But if that was the case, why wouldn’t she even ask how I was? Thinking about it further, though, I remembered Aaron showing up because the hospital called him. If he knew, the rest of the family should know as well. That was days ago, so I should have heard something by now, but maybe this was the logical outcome after they had seen how reluctant I was to let them help me after being stabbed?

My thoughts kept circling around that question, making up countless possible explanations for this situation. All the while, I couldn’t even decide how I would feel about any of those possible explanations. Only one thing I knew for certain: The family seeing me this helpless was something I wanted even less than Nora and Mia seeing me like this. I couldn’t tell how long I sat there, lost in my thoughts, until I was abruptly brought back to reality by the dulled sounds of distant explosions.

After looking around confused for a moment, I realized that it was pitch dark outside and colorful sparks were visible in the distance, partly obscured by the treeline. Then my phone went off, announcing the various New Year’s greetings. Last year, I had gotten those solely from the people at work, so I was expecting the same now. To my surprise, now I got messages from the people at work, all of the Millers, almost my entire family except for Aaron and Logan, and a few girls I had met at Mia’s party. Apparently, someone had given out my number.

And then it hit me. By my own choice, I was sitting alone in my hospital room on New Years Eve. And I even almost missed it completely over contemplating the current situation, while everyone else was probably celebrating right now.

I watched the pretty lights for a while, before I slid further down the bed to put my head on my pillow and get to sleep.

The next day, my long awaited liberation came about. After almost a week of being restricted to lying in that bed, the swelling in my leg wound had reduced enough, and, in the absence of any signs of infection or inflammation, I would finally be freed of my catheter!

You can not imagine the elation I felt when I was finally sitting on the porcelain behind a closed door, instead of having someone watch me use a bedpan. Though the broken collarbone quickly reminded me of my remaining restrictions after the deed was done. Being allowed out of bed was proof that my healing process had progressed smoothly, so being discharged the following week was a real possibility now.

Despite the doctor’s warnings, I tried to get out of bed as soon as the catheter was out and almost fell flat on my face. The leg did not hurt at all anymore while I was lying in bed, but when I tried to use my thigh muscles to walk, it suddenly hurt a lot! According to the doctors, who expected that outcome and had a wheelchair already waiting for me, it would take a while and quite some painful effort before I could make full use of that leg again. At least I could wear shorts again, not to mention enjoy my last few sponge baths without a tube in my dick!

Two days later, on the morning of January 3rd, I was released, and immediately realized just how complicated my life would be in the near future.

I managed to put some sweatpants on, and was even able to pull a shirt over my head with only slightly unbearable pain levels, but tying my shoes one-handed was simply impossible. Dressing myself would be a challenge, but I could manage as soon as I got my hands on a shoehorn. At least I didn’t have to climb stairs to get into my apartment. I realized the real problem when they wheeled me out of the building, though.

The Land Rover I drove when chauffeuring Mia was an automatic, but since I was out of commission, they had driven it back to the company parking lot. My Jeep, however, was a manual. With my right arm strapped to my torso, there was no way for me to safely shift gears while driving. Even if I managed to dress myself, I couldn’t drive anywhere myself. At that particular moment, I couldn’t even call for a cap, since I had no money in my pocket that wasn’t dyed red.

I was just standing in front of the hospital’s entrance, pondering on whether I should call Paul and ask him for a ride, when the problem was solved by an unexpected benefactor.

“Need a ride?” Jack’s voice called out from a few feet to my side.

“Oh!” was my entire comment upon realizing who just called out to me.

Truth was, I wasn’t exactly comfortable with the idea. I was used to being on my own and having to constantly defend myself, so people seeing me in this state, and people knowing I needed help, made me ... anxious. That was also the main reason why I didn’t want the Millers to visit me before. Ultimately, though, I didn’t have much of a choice. Even if I blew him off now to call someone else instead, he already knew anyway.

“Yes. Thanks. I didn’t plan that far ahead, to be honest.”

He just grinned and patiently watched me as I shuffled towards his waiting car. He then helped me into the passenger seat, put my bag and crutch in the backseat, and we drove off. He was quiet for about five minutes before he spoke up in a confusingly regretful voice.

“Dad told me what you said when he thanked you for saving Mia.”

“Uh ... Sorry, but what did I say?”

“That he should thank me instead of you.” The regret was gone from his voice. Now he sounded stern. Almost angry. And I had no clue why.

“Is that a bad thing somehow? You did good. You reacted when the others were panicking.”

“I fucking locked you out of the safe-room!” he suddenly got loud. “You took a bullet for my sister, and instead of fucking helping you, I slammed the door in your face!”

That surprised me. But what surprised me even more was the sudden drop in my anxiety level.

“So?” I asked calmly, which made him look at me like I lost my mind. Only then did I understand how this must have been eating away at him for the entire week I was in the hospital. “Jack, you did good! I mean that! There were ... what? Nineteen people on your side of the door? ‘The needs of the many’, and all that.”

“The What now?” he asked, visibly confused, but had also calmed down a little.

“Seriously, Jack. That movie is possibly a cultural heritage at this point.” I shook my head in disapproval. “What if I hadn’t been able to take him down? How many of you would’ve been shot if that door was still open?”

“Yeah, sounds nice when you put it like that in retrospect, but at the end of the day, I was ... simply...” his voice trailed off, but I already knew what he was complaining about.

“Course you were. I’d be surprised if you weren’t. Some random asshole with a gun showed up in your house and started shooting people! Ever heard of Fight or Flight?” he hesitantly nodded his head. “You might think you chose Flight because you slammed the door shut. But Flight would’ve meant running. Instead, you had the presence of mind to not only slam the door to protect yourself like you claimed. You grabbed Mia and pulled her into the room before you closed it. You did your job as her big brother.”

He drove on for a minute or two, eyes focused on the road, before he responded.

“Thank you, Tim.”

“I didn’t say that to make you feel better. I meant every word. Now, if you wanna help me, I’ve been craving a proper meal for a damn week, but I’m pretty sure whatever I have in my fridge has gone bad by now.”

“Grocery store it is, then!” he proclaimed, in a distinctly better mood, and drove us to a store relatively near to my apartment. That made me stop.

“Jack? I just realized that I never told you where I live. How did you know which direction to drive in?”

“Well, about that...” Suddenly, he looked a little guilty again. “Mom and Mia MAY be waiting for us at your place?”

He really ended that sentence like it was a question. I wasn’t sure if he was asking for permission or acceptance.

“Why?”

“Mom has something to talk with you about. Don’t ask me, she didn’t tell me.” he quickly prevented my obvious question from being asked. “But when Mia heard, she insisted on coming too, to ‘make sure you settle back in Okay’. I think she just wants to see your place. Dad would probably be there as well if he didn’t have to work.”

As he looked at me, trying to gauge my reaction, my first impulse was to ask them to leave as soon as we arrived. But, honestly, Nora and Mia were the two people outside my workplace that I’d deem most likely to actually care for me, given how I saved Mia’s life and witnessed Nora’s behavior after Aaron showed up in the hospital. The deciding factor, however, was how I felt two nights before. Sitting all alone in that sterile Hospital Room on New Year’s Eve sucked.

“Alright.” I nodded after reaching a conclusion. “Let’s finish up so they won’t wait too long.”

After that, we drove to my apartment building and, as threatened, were greeted by Nora and Mia, who looked a little worried about the way I groaned while moving, but accepted my assurance that I was okay.

Entering my apartment, Mia and Jack acted much like Ava had on her first visit, though they quickly found different things that held their interest. While Nora helped me put the groceries away and clean out my fridge, Jack inspected my TV-assembly, and Mia took a good look at the photo collage of Tess. So, I took that opportunity to speak with Nora.

“Jack tells me you have something to talk about?”

“Yes. It’s actually George’s idea, but I think you’ll like it.” she smiled. “Seeing as you are a little restricted for now, we thought it would help if we hired a housekeeper for you.”

“What for?” I had expected a lot of things, but not that.

“You can barely walk, Tim. Much less push a vacuum around. How do you plan on carrying around a basket full of wet clothes? And I won’t let you live on pizza for the six weeks it’s going to take your collarbone to heal, young man!”

I had to blink a few times after hearing all that. Not because of what she said, but because of how she said it. I know this probably sounds weird, but it sounded every bit like a mother scolding her child, and it made me grin.

It did not change my stance, though. I conceded that it probably wouldn’t be the end of the world if they saw me injured, but accepting their help and thereby admitting that I needed it ... that was still not going to happen. Also, there was no way in hell I would let a complete stranger rummage through my home under the pretense of cleaning.

“Okay, MOM.” I chuckled, and she raised an eyebrow at me. “I really appreciate it, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Right now, the only two things I really can’t do are tying my shoes, and driving. And the only reason I can’t drive is that my Jeep’s a manual. I’d have to reach over with my left to shift gears.”

“Are you sure?” she asked in a doubting tone.

“It’s not like I can’t move the arm at all. The hand works fine, so I can hold stuff” I didn’t point out that I couldn’t lift the arm, or move it in any way that required my chest muscles. She eyed the sling holding my arm critically, but ultimately nodded. “My vacuum barely weighs twenty pounds, so I can easily handle it one-handed. And if you look over there, you’ll notice the dryer is directly facing my washing machine, so no need to carry around wet clothes.”

“Still...” She sounded worried.

“Look, I promised Mia to call if I need anything. I have no desire to starve. So, if I notice that I was wrong, I will call you and take you up on your offer. How about that?”

She pondered my words for a moment, and then nodded.

“Fine. But I will talk with George about it. He is determined to help you out while you recover. I’m afraid it’s a question of principle with him, and I’m not inclined to talk him out of it. Which brings me to my next point.”

By now, Mia had joined us in the kitchen and was intently listening. Nora grabbed her purse, pulled out an envelope, and handed it to me. After I had unsuccessfully tried to open it, Mia took it from me with an exasperated eye roll, opening it for me.

“Physical Therapy?” I asked after studying the papers.

“Yes. I hear they are the best in town when it comes to limb injuries. We took the liberty of booking your sessions for the next two months in advance. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of the cost! We insist!”

Her tone told me, in no uncertain terms, that this was non-negotiable. Honestly, that place looked expensive, so I was reluctant to accept. But the hospital had indeed warned me about the need for physical therapy, so I knew I would have to do it regardless. Why not accept this offer and have ‘the best’ work on me?.

“Thank you.” That made Nora and Mia smile.

“Yo, Dude. Where’s your toilet?” Jack suddenly injected himself.

“Through that door and to the left, Honey.” Nora informed him before I even had a chance, pointing at the direction of my bedroom, not realizing what she had just done.

Mia immediately got a very suspicious look, as her eyes jumped between Nora, me, and the doorway her mother had just pointed out.

“How do you know where his bathroom is?” There was no confusion in Mia’s voice. Instead, and I could be wrong here, it sounded more like an accusation. It did not phase Nora at all, as she calmly and instantly had her reply ready.

“Don’t you remember how he took me shopping the week before Christmas? We had to stop by here because he was waiting for a delivery.”

“Oh.” It seemed like Mia had bought that explanation. Crisis averted.

“So, you’re sure you’ll be fine for the time being?” Nora asked me like nothing remotely concerning had happened.

“Yes. Very sure. And if I discover that I was wrong, I’ll keep my promise.”

“Okay. We will hold you to that.” Nora smiled, before she turned to join her son who just walked out of the bathroom and towards the door. Mia, however, stayed behind for a moment.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay a little longer?” she inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t think I’m a good host right now. There’s not much I can do for the moment.” I replied innocently.

“You haven’t had a proper shower in a week, right? I could help with that.”

“YEAH, I’M JUST GONNA LEAVE NOW.” Jack shouted from the living room, covering his ears with his hands while his mother had trouble concealing her laughter.

Mia’s eyes widened as her face got a little red. She stood on her toes, gave me a peck on the cheek, and quickly joined her mother and brother on their way out. I smiled happily the whole time I watched them leave. Not because they left, but because I genuinely enjoyed their company. I was already planning to invite them over again, once I got a handle on my kitchen.

A few minutes after they left, my doorbell rang. Wondering if they forgot anything, I activated the monitor to see who was at the gate, and my smile died. On the sidewalk, looking incredibly insecure as she nervously fidgeted with a piece of paper, stood my mother. She was flanked by John and Danielle. It could be an effect of the camera, but she looked different. Like she lost weight, but not in a healthy way. I remembered the conversation I had with John the day before Mia’s party, where he mentioned that Claire had trouble sleeping and stopped eating.

“Yes?” I asked, after pressing the button for the intercom.

“Oh! Honey? It’s me. It’s your mo ... It’s Claire.” she stammered, and I saw Danielle place a hand on Claire’s shoulder for support. “Could I talk to you? Just ... just for a minute, I promise!”

She was basically pleading, looking desperate as she wrung her hands in anticipation. I was, for the second time that day, remembering my lonely New Years Eve, and found myself entertaining the idea of letting her in, even if it would mean that she would get to see me in such a weakened state. I could also get answers to my questions about how much they knew, and why nobody but Aaron made an appearance. But why did they have to come as a package!?

By the time I looked at the monitor again, I noticed how long I had been debating this with myself. I could see Claire’s shoulders had slumped and her head was hanging low. Now John was rubbing her back, like he was comforting her. Just as they turned to leave, I pressed the button to open the gate. They abruptly stopped, turned, and Claire quickly rushed towards the front door, which I also opened for her with the push of another button.

I took a deep breath to steady myself. As I looked through the peephole, I could see Claire do the same. I leaned my crutch against the wall so I could use my one good hand to turn the door knob, and pulled the door with me as I hopped backwards on my right leg. I could see Claire’s eyes fly wide open as I reached for my crutch to stabilize myself again.

“What happened to you!?” she shouted and rushed through the door to hold me by the waist, like I needed her support to stay upright.

As soon as the sound of her voice ebbed away, I could hear fast paced feet sprint towards my door.

“You don’t know?” I asked, my eyes narrowed and my brows frowning. I was sure she knew. Aaron definitely knew! So she had to know.

“No! Oh god, Baby. Sit down!” she insisted and started gently pushing me towards my living room sofa.

“Holy Shit!” I heard John’s voice and Danielle’s gasp once they stepped through the door after Claire and got a good look at me.

“You really don’t know?” I asked again, this time in a clearly doubting tone, after sitting down.

“No! How would I? What happened? Are you Okay? Of course you’re not okay, I’m sorry, I just...” I wasn’t sure how I should take her continuous stammering, so I interrupted her.

“The hospital called you guys to sign the paperwork.”

For some reason, that information caused Danielle’s expression to darken.

“Nobody called me!” Claire protested.

“Well, they must have called. Aaron showed up the day I got out of the ICU to sign what they needed.”

Claire just blinked at me in shock, visibly unable to comprehend what I just told her, and I heard John growl something unintelligible.

“That rotten bastard!” Danielle suddenly called out, before turning to Claire. “They must have called the house phone.”

Then it clicked. Claire had moved out. John had even told me about her and Ava moving in with him. I had thought about that when I wondered why Aaron was so cold towards me!

“I can’t believe he wouldn’t tell me about something like that! How could he not tell me that one of our children is in the hospital!?” Claire breathed out, staring into space and shaking her head. “I don’t believe this.”

“What happened?” John asked that question for the third time, but his voice was surprisingly demanding.

“You know the client I was with on Christmas Eve? Ava’s friend, Mia?” They all nodded. “She invited me to a party the day after Christmas. Then her mother’s stalker showed up and shot me four times.”

“He ... WHAT!?” they sputtered.

“Yes, we were equally surprised.” I tried to joke, but just like the time I was assaulted in front of the house, my humor fell flat, so I continued. “Two got stopped by my vest, though. I got one in the shoulder that also broke my collarbone, and one in the leg. Was in the hospital the entire last week and got released today.”

By the time I finished, Claire’s breath was stuttering and her body trembled. I actually couldn’t tell if she was angry or trying to stop herself from crying.

“The entire week...” she whispered between heaved breaths. “You were in the hospital, all alone, the entire week.”

Danielle sat next to Claire and took one of her hands in an attempt to calm her down. I wasn’t entirely sure how I should deal with this. There was no way she was just acting. She was genuinely hurting on my behalf. And she was genuinely disturbed about not being able to be there for me while I was in the hospital. At least, that’s what this looked like for me. Still, even now I would rather have them leave as soon as possible, so I could limp through the apartment in peace.

I got to my feet, or rather on my foot, and moved into the kitchen to get Claire a glass of water. Only when I turned did I notice how John was directly behind me and watching my every move closely, like he was ready to catch me if I were to slip or something. That just enforced my need to get them out of my space.

I reluctantly handed John the glass so he could bring it to Claire. There just wasn’t any way for me to carry it, unless I left my crutch behind to jump the entire way back to the sofa on my healthy leg, probably losing half the water by the time I reached her.

“You said you wanted to talk. What about?” I asked, after she had taken a sip and I was back at the sofa.

“I ... yes ... of course.” Claire collected herself. “Honey, I came to apologize.”

All three of them looked at me like it was my turn to say something now. I wasn’t sure what they expected, however. Then it suddenly hit me. The last time I had heard about Claire, it was after John had given her the good news that I was willing to give her another chance. Though, in my opinion, he had grossly misrepresented my words.

“Okay. What for?”

“For ambushing you on Christmas Eve. I’m sorry if that caused any problems with your job. I was ... desperate. But John apparently told you already. He told me that you wanted to know exactly how we got to that point, and I want to give this to you.”

This was taking quite a toll out of her. Then she started looking around, until Danielle handed her the mangled paper I had seen her hold when she was standing in front of the gate.

“I thought ... I was afraid ... If I tried to just tell you, you’d get mad at me and tell me to leave before I could finish. Then I would never get the chance to actually apologize. So ... I wrote it down.”

As she looked at me pleadingly, I was disturbed at how much it affected me. Just like there was genuine hurt before, now there was genuine hope and sadness in her eyes. On an impulse, I took the paper out of her outstretched hand and nodded. It was actually multiple pages of paper. Again, I was slightly disturbed at how much it affected me when Claire’s visible worry was replaced by a relieved and hopeful smile.

“Okay. I’ll read it.”

“Thank you, Honey.” she whispered.

“But it’ll have to wait, since I have some things to take care of before that.”

When I said that, I was fully expecting them to get the hint and give me the space I obviously needed. I thought wrong.

“Of course, Honey. Take as long as you need. I’m just glad you accepted it.” Claire said, not making an effort to get up from the sofa. “Is there anything we can help you with? Do you need anything from the pharmacy?”

“Yes, I could use a little peace and quiet. So, if you could go home, that would be awesome.” I said calmly while extending my good arm to gesture towards the door, though Claire looked like I slapped her.

“But ... Honey, don’t you need someone to help you?” Claire asked, as she got off the sofa and stood in front of me, looking concerned.

“No, I really don’t need help. I’m good. You can leave.”

“Honey, you’re clearly hurting. Please, let me help you!” she implored, but I REALLY didn’t want them to.

“I don’t need, nor do I want, YOUR help! Now, for the THIRD time, I’d like you to leave!” I finally snapped, and the effect was imminent.

Claire’s shoulders had slumped and her head was hanging again. As she was looking at the floor, I could still see the tears creep into her eyes before she quietly spoke.

“Of course, Honey. I understand. I’ll leave you be. I’m sorry.”

And with that, she turned and walked out through the door. I didn’t care for John’s unhappy look before he followed her outside. Danielle, however, stayed rooted to her spot.

“What?” I asked, challenging her to try me at that moment, though she didn’t bite. When she opened her mouth, it sounded more understanding than accusing.

“I don’t blame you, Tim. But you need to know that she really is suffering. I spent a lot of time with her since they moved in with us. She does love you. And she is desperately looking for ways to gain your forgiveness.”

Then she turned and followed after the other two. I hobbled to the door and locked it, but on a whim, I activated the monitor. I saw Claire slowly walk towards the gate, her shoulders shaking and one hand covering her eyes, John close behind her.

I took another deep breath to steady myself, just like before I opened the door for them, and turned to my coffee table where Claire’s letter was waiting for me. It took me a long time, during which I simply stood there and looked at it, before I sat back down and started reading.