Chapter 11

Saturday, February 14, 1891

At home, the campaign of enticement continued, with Wren the centerpiece.

Malik and the family were to embark on a return journey to Wichita on Sunday, February fifteenth, for Malik’s week at the K&ASR headquarters and the executive committee meeting there. The Saturday evening before the departure, he and his ladies had a romantic late dinner for Valentine’s Day, which he had arranged, in a private dining room at the Old Courthouse Inn. Aspen and the twins were being tended to by Beverly Kagan. The doctor seemed to not just enjoy, but to crave the interaction with the children.

After they had placed their dinner orders, Wren remarked on Kagan’s apparent yearning.

Then Malik added, “Why does she not find someone to marry? There are a number of well-mannered professional men around town who would make a worthy match.”

Peng said, “She is a woman who loves other women, Master.”

Malik, looking perplexed, said, “A what? Doctor Kagan? But she’s, but she’s ... How can you tell? How do you know this, Yan?” He was shaking his head.

“One notices things, Emil,” Beatrice said.

“Things? What things?”

“She never talks about men, Master, not in the way women have that evaluate men as mates. And she never talks about you, that way, Master, which is very unusual, among the women who know you.”

“What?”

“Women talk about their men, Emil,” Beatrice explained. “They compare them, compare their conduct and manners, especially the way they treat their wives and children. Beverly never does this.”

“And she only speaks of women when she mentions former friends and acquaintances, Master. She speaks of a few of them with a warmth that one reserves for intimate companions.”

Wren said, quietly, “She has flirted with me. I believe she has wondered whether I am not also like her.”

Malik asked, “Are you offended, Wren? Has she been forward with you?”

“Not at all, Shadow. She is a gentle and considerate woman. If I felt otherwise, I could see her as a warm and fulfilling companion.”

Malik sighed heavily, shaking his head. “Be that as it may, it brings up the topic I wanted to discuss, this evening,” he said. He looked down at his hands, resting on the edge of the table, then looked up and said, “I believe it necessary that you hear me out on this, so I ask that you allow me to finish before you respond or even ask questions.”

He took in a breath and began, “I know you won’t be surprised when I tell you I am fully aware that the deliberate and repeated display of Wren’s physical charms has been, if not planned, than at least accepted, by the three of you.

“While it has caused a physical response in me, it has not caused a corresponding emotional response, unless it is simply lust that you hoped to arouse. My feelings for Wren have not changed. I have affection for her as a ward, as an important, even essential member of our family, to be loved, valued, and protected as such. However, your promotion of Wren to a spousal status has not been effective.

“Beyond that, I came to a realization while I was away on the trip to the Kansas Southern Division. I noticed a feeling of reluctance when I thought about coming home. I found that I had become uncomfortable in my own home.

“Now I ask you this: Is that discomfort a feeling to which I must become accustomed?”

There was only silence as all three women looked at him, Wren’s blushing noticeable even with her dusky skin. Wren was seated on Malik’s right and Peng, seated next to her, reached to place her hand on top of Wren’s, which she had been wringing in her lap.

Wren, in a pleading tone said, “No, Shadow, no. I don’t want you to feel that way about coming home. I only want to help make home your place of rest and comfort, something to look forward to, not to dread. I’m so sorry to have made it feel otherwise.” Tears began to leak onto her cheeks.

Beatrice, who had arranged the women’s seating, was on Malik’s left. She said, “Wren, if there is fault, then we share it equally. Emil, I too, am sorry. It was an attempt to solve a problem in what we thought would be a pleasant manner. It didn’t occur to us that it would not be effective, so we never even considered what adverse effect might result.”

“I beg your forgiveness, Master. I was sure you would want this relationship when your feelings became clear. I have betrayed your trust.” Peng, too, began to cry.

Malik said, in a firm tone, “Enough!” The women were startled into silence, Wren giving a final sniff.

In a more measured tone, he said, “I did not request that you grovel or even apologize. I thought this evening, this day, concerned as it is with romantic love, would be a fitting venue to discuss these matters. On the other hand, I acknowledge that this is not standard romantic fare.

“But to return to my point, what I asked was if I would have to continue to cope with that activity in the future. I will assume, from everyone’s reactions, that I will not have to. That closes that particular issue and I am satisfied. Further, it is not a cause for my resentment or anger. I noted a problem, I told you about it, and you have suggested it was caused by ill-considered behavior which you will no longer pursue. So please try not to dwell on it, rather put it behind yourselves. I do not consider myself either dishonored or betrayed, nor will I entertain such characterizations. I am certain this was done out of love.”

Malik paused momentarily, then said, “However, it does not address the root of the problem: the juxtaposition of emotions between Wren and myself. We are two people who care for one another, but in different ways. For me, this confused interaction of our feelings causes a reaction of disappointment and a sense of failure, in that I haven’t met Wren’s needs, something I desire to do. For her, I imagine it results in feelings of unfulfilled longing, perhaps frustrating emptiness. I have no solution that would satisfy both Wren and myself, nor do I have any suggestions. I invite your comments. But, please, no more apologies or tears.”

Silence reigned for several long moments. Finally, Beatrice, slowly shaking her head, said, “I don’t know. I ... just don’t know.”

Malik said, “Let’s set this aside, just for the moment. I’d arranged with the kitchen to hold our orders and to leave us undisturbed until I let them know to proceed.” He stood up. “I’ll go see Joe or whoever is in charge tonight and let them know to go ahead.” He left the room while the teary-eyed women looked at one another with uncertainty.

Malik was back within a minute, followed by a waiter bringing a bottle of chilled champagne and four flutes.

After the bottle was opened, Malik took it upon himself to fill the stemmed crystal and to offer a toast. “To three wonderful women who are more important to me than I can say, and who are appreciated and loved more than I do say.” Those same women, looking pleased, though somewhat bewildered, followed his urging to drink to the toast, though etiquette would have decried the subject drinking one’s own honor.

After returning to his seat, Malik said, “I know we still have a problem to resolve, but I want to celebrate two things this evening. The first is that we are honest with one another, even if it is embarrassing or, as it happens, painful. The second is that, if there are important problems to take on, there are no other women with whom I’d rather face them. Tonight, I want us to see my uncertain relationship with Wren as something we have just begun to deal with, not as something hopeless or decided. It may not have an outcome that is ideal, but then, what human relationship problems do? In any event, I intend to continue to consider and discuss possibilities and depend on the three of you to do the same.”

“Of course, Emil,” Beatrice said. “While I must confess to some considerable disappointment that things have not gone as we had planned, I am much reassured by the way you have dealt with it. I do love you for just such reasons.” She smiled at him.

Peng rose from her chair and went to kneel beside his. There, she held his arm and pressed her face into his shoulder. All she said were the whispered words, “I love you, Master.”

Wren was still looking uncertain. Malik reached to her with the same arm Peng was embracing. He placed his hand atop one of Wren’s and said, “Wren, be assured that I care for you deeply. You are as much a beloved part of this family as any of us. I am invested in your happiness. Exactly how I can help in that happiness we have yet to fully determine.” He lifted his hand to caress her cheek, saying, “But I do not think that it is an issue which we can resolve tonight. Can you enjoy this evening, in spite of that?”

She smiled, if a bit wanly. “Yes, Shadow,” she said. “I don’t want you to think I am hurt or angry. Like Beatrice said, I’m disappointed. But I love everyone, not just you, and have not been happier, not since I was a little girl, anyway.”

Looking at her, Malik said, “I think one thing we should do,” and he turned to look at Beatrice, “is to examine things in detail, precisely what everyone’s preferences entail. But not tonight.” He patted Peng’s back and she rose to return to her seat, while he said, “Tonight we celebrate our family.”

(Saturday, February 14, 1891)

Sunday & Monday, February 15 & 16, 1891

The next day, Sunday, the family boarded the Manuela de Ortega for the trip to Wichita. The K&ASR’s executive committee would meet on Thursday. The following Sunday, which would be February twenty-second, the Maliks had invited local government officials and business leaders to a Washington’s Birthday open house.

On the trip to Wichita, the topic of concern was the relationship between Malik and Wren. After one more conversation ended in frustration, Malik said, “I think we’re addressing this too casually. We need to organize the discussion around specific topics of concern. Each of us, especially Wren and I, need to be prepared to speak frankly and to be prepared to listen to things which may make us acutely uncomfortable.”

He paused, briefly, then said, “Beatrice, Yan, would you be good enough to organize the discussion? Address it as you would a problem encountered in business or training. Use problem-solving models you have used or been involved in.”

He paused again, then said, “I don’t think that we should necessarily expect this to be something we can dispose of in just one discussion, either. Moreover, perhaps we should see the plan in advance so we all have an opportunity to review our own thoughts and feelings before we sit down to talk about them. Last Saturday evening, at dinner, I caught you off-guard when I spoke of my feelings and it caused all of you to have a strained emotional reaction. That was unintentional, but it points up what I’m trying to forestall. We need to discuss such fraught topics, but we need to know that they are discussed within the supportive warmth of the family, even if they might be painful to say or hear.”

After some discussion, the women acquiesced, though they expressed misgivings at the idea of discussing emotions in the manner of a business meeting.

Malik had replied, “But business meetings are usually about emotions. They deal with how people feel about a situation. It is seldom a logical process. One person wants one thing, another prefers something else, each for their own reasons. If the issues were of logic, the answers would be much easier to discover. We won’t be reducing the emotion, we’ll simply be organizing them and adding a layer of safe feeling to the discussion of difficult topics.”

(Sunday & Monday, February 15 & 16, 1891)

Thursday, February 19, 1891

At K&ASR’s headquarters, the junior college plan became the topic of the week. More than just the executive suite, there were other managers, supervisors, and clerks from sales, personnel management, engineering, accounting and even the hostlers, who were abuzz with the idea of a training grounds for railroad workers. Almost everyone came to agree that it was a good idea. There was only one problem: how to pay for it.

At the executive committee meeting, after disposing of routine business and after hearing Pottinger’s report on the anticipated wind-blown snow problems along the Ogallala extension, the conversation turned to the junior college plan. As had become customary, Peng acted as recording secretary, making shorthand notes of the proceedings.

Malik announced, “We discussed this at home, and we’re willing to pay for the capital improvements and equipage for eight locations, up to a limit of five hundred thousand dollars.”

Arnie Yeats said, “That’s very generous, Emil.”

Malik shrugged. “It’s still mostly from my inheritance from Ming. His generous example has inspired it.”

“And that’s a darn kind thing to say, Emil,” Pottinger said.

Castillo said, “Unfortunately, that leaves us with nearly a quarter million dollars a year, which we must find.”

Malik said, “We’ll prime the pump. My family will throw in fifty thousand dollars for each of the first three years.”

Castillo asked, “Are you sure, Emil? That’s quite a commitment.”

“Raul, if we end up with a better railroad and better educated people along our routes, I’ll make it all back within ten years.”

Arnie Yeats said, “I’ll match that Emil, for the same three years.”

Pottinger said, “I’ll contribute the same. We need talented people at all levels.”

Dixie Yeats said, “Put me in for ten thousand each of those years.”

Castillo said, “I might, uh...”

“Raul, forget it,” Malik said. “Believe me, without my inheritance from Ming I wouldn’t even be able to say a thing right now. And I’ll bet Arnie and Pete are tapping into some gold they’ve been holding on to for decades. I’ll even bet that Dixie is pledging money from a trust based on that same gold.”

“He’s right, Raul,” Dixie said. “Daddy paid for law school and then I gained control of my trust when I turned twenty five.”

“Still,” Castillo said, “Rita and I can pledge five thousand.”