Chapter 3: Reality Beliefs

I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious and embarrassed about the heavy gasping. My embarrassment overpowered any concern I had about my state of dress. It was as if my gasping was on display for everyone to see and judge, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of being judged harshly.

At that moment, I had an epiphany. I realized a power in acceptance, accepting that this was my new normal state of dress. For some reason, I had concluded that my gasping was something I would have to live with, and I had decided to embrace it. My new friends stood there, letting me make sense of my thoughts and feelings.

I realized my new friends stood there with me, not necessarily concealing me from the other onlookers. We waited for our parents to finish their conversation. Despite my proximity to them, I couldn’t make out what they were saying, which was frustrating.

I was tired from standing and decided to sit at the closest table. Ivana and Lilian promptly followed suit, pulling up chairs on either side of me. I looked at them both and couldn’t help but wonder why they were still there with me. I was uncertain about my future and struggled to comprehend why anyone would want to be around me after the humiliating incident of being publicly stripped.

Nevertheless, one thing was clear: the decisions regarding my future now rested in the hands of the adults who stood near us. Lilian confirmed something I had suspected but couldn’t fully understand - why they chose to stand by me even after I had stripped nude.

Sitting at the table with me, Lilian explained, “When you got up to undress in front of everyone, we both realized that we didn’t want you to go through this journey alone. Even though it was a joint decision that led to this point, we didn’t want to abandon you now that the going has gotten tough. Weren’t for us making those suggestions, you wouldn’t be sitting here naked. It is up to our parents to decide what happens next. We’re all in this together.``

In the coming minutes, we waited until the parents had finished speaking. The parent’s focus of the conversation shifted from my decision to undress in front of everyone. Now the adults are taking charge of the situation, determining the next steps. Before now, I wasn’t entirely sure who my true friends were. I feel uneasy sitting here exposed on these plastic folding chairs.

It’s a strange sensation, but for some reason, I feel more comfortable in my current state than I have ever felt wearing dresses, a habit I’ve had since I was a child. I wasn’t sure what time it was, but all the guests had departed, leaving only our parents behind. I was about to stand up and find some clothing in my room when I noticed the adults walking toward us.

We all watched as they grabbed chairs and sat down with us, with my new friends’ parents formally introducing themselves to them. Lilian’s mother spoke up, her voice carrying a hint of exasperation. “I apologize for the delay, but we were in a consultation with some of our associates regarding Connie’s wishes.”

She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Connie, we need you to be completely honest with us. The decisions we make today will have far-reaching consequences. The decision will not easily be reversed once after the court clerk’s office, and you will be legally nude permanently. Your parents will spare no expense or time to achieve your goal of living without clothes. The decision depends on your firm belief in the principle of religious freedom to be nude and free of all clothing.”

Lilian’s mother expressed the importance of being truthful and transparent in their conversation. I know that the decisions will have long-lasting effects on me. She also emphasizes they are willing to go to great lengths to have me live by my religious beliefs to be nude. I never considered it possible.

Now I am going to be living my future in the same way I have seen it and accepted it for the past several months. I stood up and expressed, “Yes, I have been dreaming of being this way.” After saying this, I stretched out my back to relieve tension and sat without caring about how I sat.