“We were thinking of having a movie night on the eleventh. You down?”

Even though Jake couldn’t see my face, I grinned. “A movie night, huh?” I repeated, holding the phone close to my ear.

His tongue clicked from the other end of the line. “Well, I mean, if we’re safe about it, and it’s just us ... I mean, I haven’t seen anyone else or been out of the house in like, a full month.”

My grin didn’t wane. I knew how he felt – while others ditched the rules and partied, my friend group actually listened and stayed inside during the pandemic. It was borderline painful listening to stories about other people getting to enjoy time with their friends all because they didn’t care, all while, at least to me, my friend group just had to stay separate, just drifting farther and farther away from each other. This was a welcome change.

“Yeah yeah,” I quickly agreed. “I’ll be safe. I mean, I have been safe. This can be like our cheat day.”

“Our what?”

“You know, like when you diet, you have a cheat day and eat cake. We’ve all been good, so we get to have a cheat day.”

“Wouldn’t know dude, never had to diet,” Jake’s voice cockily rebutted. I smiled to myself – Jake was one of those neo-hippie types, with the long hair and the carefree attitude, but instead of listening to Grateful Dead or whatever, he went to the gym and did karaoke and other bro-y things. He looked like he would be this sensitive sweet guy, but underneath, he was all arrogant charm, a combination that seemed to work well in his favor.

I was kind of the opposite. Even though I looked like I would fit in at a soccer club or the popular table or something, I was kind of shy and geeky below the surface. It was hard to call myself good-looking, but I knew other people thought I was. I couldn’t really accept it, but I could accept other people were saying it. Plus, it turned out being attractive and being shy was a combination that worked out in my favor sometimes too, just not in the same way. “Nice,” I laughed dismissively. “So who’s in?”

“That’s the tricky part,” Jake admitted, his voice reflecting annoyance. “If you’re in, so far it’s just you, Katie, and ... you met John?”

“I don’t think so, is he a friend of yours?”

“Friend of Katie’s. I’ve only gotten to talk to him a few times, but he seems chill.”

Katie was probably my oldest friend in the whole world. It was one of those friendships where we were each others’ rock, but more importantly, it was one of those friendships that couldn’t be complicated by anything. We went on double dates with each other, changed in front of each other, and in our first year of college, only a few months ago, I tried using my photography major to help her get the best nudes, and she tried using her charm and knowhow to make me the best Tinder bio possible. We were entirely comfortable with each other.

Sadly, the Tinder bio went nowhere, and once the pandemic began, I ended up deleting it. It just became a lose-lose where if I didn’t match with a girl, I got sad, and when I did match with a girl and the conversations went nowhere because I didn’t know what to say, I got sad, and when we clicked, I got even more sad, since we couldn’t leave the house.

Katie was what people called “nerd cute.” She was a little thicker around the middle than she wanted to be, and had glasses and a brown-haired ponytail, and to top it off, had a liiiiittle bit of an annoying “um actually” habit, always wanting to one-up everyone in the room. Still, she more than made up for it by being a good friend, and at this point, nothing could drive a wedge between us. Jake only droves wedges once or twice, and even then, the wedges never stuck for long.

“That’s cool, but ... is that it?” I asked.

He sighed. “Yeah, I know. Lindsay is out, as is Mike.”

“Wendy?”

“With her lung thing? Nah, she’s not taking any chances. Hell, she gave me this whole speech about how irresponsible we’re being.” He clicked his tongue. “This stuff is probably hitting her hard.”

“She’s probably jealous she can’t be there with you, dude,” I joked. Jake had a habit of ‘accidentally ending up’ sleeping with most of the girls, and a few of the boys, in our friend group. “Give Jake enough time,” we all used to joke. It was a bit of an open secret. Wendy happened to be his latest development, and even though both of them kept it under wraps, Jake’s sexual history was hard to hide for too long. With one exception, he was always pretty gracious and kind to them both before and after he slept with them, so it was never an actual issue, but it was still something fun to tease him about, especially since...

“Hey, c’mon, it wasn’t like that!”

... It was the one thing he was embarrassed about, as if he hated the idea of being seen as this slut or something. As far as I was concerned, good for him. I would have loved to get around as much as he did, but it kind of wasn’t my style to sleep with friends. If I was going to date or screw anyone, I didn’t want it to be someone I had history with.

I laughed. “Sorry,” I said with zero meaning.

“You in or out?” he barked. I could hear him blushing through the phone.

“I’m in, I’m in,” I laughed. “What’s the plan?”

Helpfully, all of Jake’s housemates terminated their leases and ran home at the first news of the pandemic, but Jake himself had no plans to return to his parents’ house no matter what, which meant he had a house all to himself. It helped that Jake’s house’s basement was the coolest living room a student could want, with shag carpeting and plush couches and even some kind of bar.

I was the first to arrive with plenty of time to spare, which meant the two of us got to spend some much-needed time lounging on the plush couches catching up with each others’ lives. Of course, thanks to the pandemic, there weren’t a lot of life events to talk about, but it was still cool. I at least had my parents to hang around – I had no idea how Jake kept his cool not leaving the house and being the only one there.

Shortly after, the doorbell rang. Jake swung his legs around the top of the couch and almost flipped himself around the couch to start racing upstairs. I followed, opting to get up normally like a human being, and ran up the stairs to see him opening the door.

Katie burst out of the sunlight to hug Jake, then me. “Aaaah~!” she sang excitedly. “I missed you both so much!” She was practically bouncing on her heels as she hugged us. Her friend was unquestionably more shy about it, slinking in behind her.

John had short blond hair and a lot of freckles on his face, topped off with what looked like a permanent blush. He was dressed super casually, in a baggy t-shirt and some kind of track pants. Katie whirled around and threw a smile his way. “And this is John. John, Ethan.”

I held up a hand politely in a wave. If he was shy, may as well lead the way. “Yo!”

“Hey,” he replied in a highish, nervous voice. I didn’t get much more out of him, and that was fine. It would probably take a while for him to get used to the group. Then again, he already knew Katie well and Jake kind of well, so I guess that was a good head start.

Katie had a tote bag around her shoulder, which she hastily opened. “Okay, I got the snacks,” she announced. “Doritos, Lays ... Spicy Cheetos for Jake...”

“Damn right!”

“ ... Aaaaand iced tea.” She pulled out a large thermos.

“ ... You bought a jug of iced tea just to pour it in a thingy?” Jake pressed.

“Um, no,” Katie swiftly replied. “You just asked for ‘iced tea,’ so I brewed my own. It’s sweet, you’ll like it.”

“I was kind of going for the ‘iced tea your mom got for that barbecue in grade two’ vibe here,” Jake protested.

“Well I’m not your mom,” Katie argued back, then winked at him. “So I guess you’re gonna have to drink this. Believe me, you’ll like it. It’s white peach.”

“That the brand?”

“Nah, the brand is MEM tea or something.”

I shifted towards John and scoffed loud enough for only him to hear. “Wow, listen to these two, huh?” I asked him with a friendly tone.

I was worried he’d back away like a scared mouse, as if ‘blushy and nervous’ was the only thing to his personality, but luckily, he cracked a smile. “Yeah, it seems to happen every time,” he lightly replied.

“Oh, so there have been other movie nights?” I asked.

“Oh, no,” he diligently replied. “I’ve only met Jake in person once, and- oh, don’t worry, even when we met up, we talked about you, and how much they missed you, and-”

I held up a hand to tell him to stop and smiled reassuringly. “I’m not that kind of jealous friend,” I told him. “Only good vibes here.”

He smiled back.

There were two couches in Jake’s basement, and Jake and Katie quickly claimed one of them, so John and I claimed the other. When we sat down, Katie started giggling.

I noticed first, but John was the one to ask. “What?”

“Oh, just...” Katie adjusted herself, then scooted to the very end of her couch, while simultaneously pushing Jake away. At first he was weirded out, but then he looked at us and smirked, moving to his end too. “That’s how you two look right now.”

I looked between us. There was a comical amount of distance between us two. It was like picking the urinals on either side of the bathroom. “Well, it’s not like we have to sit closer to each other to watch the damn movie,” I grumbled.

“John kinda has to,” Jake replied, turning on his TV and booting up Netflix. “You won’t be able to see the movie from there, will you?”

John looked at the TV, then at me. I just shrugged. “Yeah man, move on up. Hell, lie down if you want. Couch is big enough.”

“Just two guys at movie night, six feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay...” Jake smugly sang as he pulled up the movie.

“What’s the movie about?” I asked, feeling myself blush. I could only imagine how poor John was holding up.

“It’s cool, you’ll like it,” Jake replied, getting up and turning the lights off.

“Hey! Lights back on,” Katie protested, pouring the Lays into a bowl. “I’m gonna spill these all over your floor.”

“Then you’re responsible for eating them all off of it,” Jake quipped, leaving the lights off.

“Ugh,” Katie grumbled, rolling her eyes. “Asshole.”

Jake snickered, and Katie joined in. Eventually, the movie started, and we all settled into a nice silence. Some friend groups liked to constantly talk at their movie nights, but Jake was super into movies and Katie was once a film major, so they preferred ‘the way it was meant to be viewed.’ What that meant was us, not having gotten to see each other in a while, all silently watching a movie we could have seen on our own.

I kind of wanted an excuse to break the silence, so I watched for anything accidentally funny. Wooden dialogue, or weird choices, or what Katie called a “continuity error,” anything. Luckily for me, the silence was broken when, pretty early on in the movie, the scene got racy, then downright sexual, very quickly.

“Woah...” I heard John murmur.

“Aaaand there it is, the reason why Jake wanted to watch the movie,” Katie jeered as the first sex scene of the movie began in earnest.

“Yeah, because if I just wanted to watch porn, I’d invite my friends over instead of just whacking off,” Jake responded.

“As if you even need to do it yourself,” Katie pushed. “You probably had sex with like two more people since we last hung out.”

“Oh, come o- okay, first of all, no,” Jake protested. “Second of all, it’s not like it’s just me who commits the crime of liking to do it.”

Silence met him, and especially with the sexual moans coming from the TV, he got even more flustered. “Okay, we’re doing this,” he continued, pausing the movie then pointing at Katie. “When’s the last time you saw someone naked? In person.”

Katie laughed in shock. “Are you serious?”

“Deadly!” Jake insisted.

“I dunno, like, pre-pandemic? Pre-pandemic for sure. Maybe like February, late January.”

Jake didn’t move. He was clearly expecting a different answer. “Okay, you,” he continued, pointing at me.

“Um...” I shifted in my seat. It sure had been a while since I had sex, but that wasn’t the question. “Like, right before the pandemic, but ... it wasn’t sexual.”

Jake paused, not noticing Katie’s eyes widen in realization. “ ... What do you mean it wasn’t sexual? Was it for an art class?”

“Nope.”

“Family member?”

“Your family members are just ... naked all the time?” I asked with a laugh.

“You were the one who said it wasn’t sexual. How does that even-”

“He was taking pictures of me, dumbass.”

Katie’s words cut through the silence, even though despite the low lighting of the room, she was visibly blushing. Jake slowly turned towards Katie. “Really?” he asked, astounded. “Why?!”

“I wanted to take nudes for someone. Didn’t go anywhere, which really fuckin’ sucked. But yeah. He was my cameraman.”

“How in the world is it not sexual to take nudes of someone?” Jake asked.

I turned to John, who still wasn’t saying anything but blushing profusely. I mouthed the word “sorry” to him. He gave a nervous chuckle and shrugged.

Katie was unfazed. “Because,” she started with that ‘um actually’ voice of hers. “If you’re good friends with someone, you can have the capacity to see them naked without it meaning anything.”

Jake paused. “ ... But like ... it means something, it always has to mean something.”

“Not if you’re gay,” I pointed out. To my right, I heard a whimper stifled. It was quiet enough that no one else heard it. I had the good sense not to turn my head, but looked right at John. That was his whimper.

“Well then I dunno, if he whipped out his dick it would mean something.”

“Nope,” Katie defiantly answered. “We’ve changed in front of each other. I’ve seen his dick. We’re not complicated, and we’re fine. Maybe it’s you who’s shallow.”

“I’m not shallow,” Jake replied quickly. “I’m just hot-blooded. And I do not believe Ethan isn’t the same way.”

I grinned back at him. “‘Hot-blooded,’” I teased. “You come up with three new adjectives every time I see you.”

“Everything but ‘slutty,’” Katie joined in. “Anything to avoid saying you’re slutty.”

“Fuck off,” Jake bitterly grumbled. He reached for the thermos of iced tea, held it for a bit, then put it back down on the table. “You know, you guys are pretty judgmental.”

That statement sounded serious. The movie wasn’t playing, so each second of silence just compounded the awkwardness. “You know, it’s not a bad thing to be slutty,” Katie replied factually. “We’re only teasing you because you get so blushy about it.”

“Oh, cool. You guys only bring it up because it bothers me. Neat. Neato.” Jake scoffed and attempted to look away. HIlariously, with the movie in front of him, Katie to his left, and John and me to his right, he had to crane his neck around and pretend to want to look at the back of the room.

“If it really bothers you, we can stop,” John chimed in with a sweet voice.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “‘We’?” I questioned. “Dude, you weren’t even doing anything. It was me and Katie that were ganging on him.”

Jake had turned back and joined us in the quiet laughter. “I love how you two are teasing me and fuckin’ John says he’s sorry.”

“Well, I’m just~!” John said with a shrug.

“You’re too easy on him, John,” Katie joined in, then playfully shoved Jake. “If we don’t tease him, he’ll get a big head and get into trouble or something.”

John shifted in place. “Well, that’s not very ni-”

“Nah, nah, it’s true,” Jake admitted, looping an arm around Katie. “They keep me in check. I can admit it.” with his arm still around her, he looked at Katie. “But seriously, you got Ethan to take naked pictures of you?”

She smiled, looking up at him. ““Photography major, remember?”

“I’m a philosophy major and I can barely tell you how anything works,” Jake fired back.

“Then maybe you’re entitled to a refund,” Katie laughed. “Besides, my only super close friends are you three. John, no offense, you can be a bit squeamish about sex...”

John said nothing.

“ ... And Jake, like ... c’mon. You basically just admitted that if you saw me naked, it would have to mean something.” She raised her eyebrows at him, knowing she caught him with his own words.

“And if you knew how I looked naked, it wouldn’t mean anything?” Jake asked. “Like, what if, hypothetically, I whipped it out right now?”

“Yeah, please don’t,” I chimed in. I wouldn’t have put it past Jake.

Katie was having too much fun, and just giggled. “I bet I’d be able to withstand my urges,” she teased.

Jake laughed cockily and squeezed Katie against him before letting go. I looked at him, then her. She was looking back at me, and I just gave her a questioning look. Was she...?

She shrugged in response, as if you to say, “I dunno either man, going with the flow.” No other words were said and Jake resumed the movie. Immediately, sex moans began filling the room again.

I was just as ‘hot-blooded’ as Jake, but especially after the somewhat awkward conversation, I was not ready to deal with that. “Can we, like, skip this part please?” I asked in a more feeble voice than I would have liked.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jake asked, weirded out.

“He’s overstimulated,” Katie factually said, not taking her eyes off the screen, even though she couldn’t hide her smile after she said it.

“You mean like...?” Jake trailed off. Katie looked at him, rolling her eyes, and nodded. Jake turned back to me and shrugged. “That’s just how you know you’re a dude, dude. You watch sex, you get hard. It’s how you know you aren’t watching too much porn or whatever. Since we...” He stole a look at Katie. “ ... Want to be comfortable with this stuff around each other, I’ll admit it, I’m bricked up. It’s cool if you are. John, I bet you are too.”

“I, uh...” John stumbled over his words, playing with his hands in nervousness.

“Hey, maybe we shouldn’t ask John about that kind of thing,” Katie suddenly but kind of loudly chimed in.

Jake gave her a weird look. “Why? Didn’t you just give a speech about how this stuff can be normal? Since we’re talking about it anyway...”

Katie’s eyes wandered. She had a reason but didn’t say it. I looked at John who just rolled his eyes.

“I thought you guys could guess, but whatever,” John replied in a bit of a huff. “I don’t have a penis.”

“Oh,” Jake replied, surprised. “Uh, alright. Cool, man. My bad.”

“I’m sorry, John,” Katie quickly added. “I didn’t mean to, y’know, drag it out.”

“I mean, I guess it’s flattering if you guys genuinely didn’t know,” John continued.

“I had no idea,” I admitted.

Jake, ever the charmer, had swiftly recovered. “It’s not like it matters,” he said coolly and suavely. “Nothing has changed. Who cares what you have down there? You’re still John.”

Katie smiled, half in relief, and turned to John. “I told you, dude. You’re among friends here. Hell, both Jake and I are bi.”

John gave a polite smile. “Thanks,” he admitted, then breathed a few times. “I guess I just don’t really hear about sex a lot.”

“If you hang out with this guy, that’s gonna change,” Katie teased, grabbing Jake around the waist.

“Hey!” Jake protested. “I just do stuff behind closed doors. You two perverts are the ones that talk about sex all the time!”

“When did I say anything?!” I demanded.

“‘Hey Jake, can we skip this part?’” Jake imitated me in a whiny voice. “‘Hey Jake, can we move on? I have a boner, Jaaake.’”

Katie laughed. “I have a booooner, Jaaaaake,” she yes-anded in the same whiny voice.

Even my one ally betrayed me. “Jaaaaake,” John joined in with a cute laugh.

“What is happening?” I asked, both in frustration and with a laugh.

The three amigos laughed for a bit, then died down. I guess I got what I wanted; the movie was still going and now everyone was fine to talk over it. “To be fair, you said you had a boner too,” Katie added in Jake’s direction, now letting go of his abdomen.

“Yeah, but I didn’t ask to skip the sex scene,” Jake replied, putting his hands behind his head and relaxing.

“You are so strange,” Katie murmured. “You’ll get so embarrassed if we even bring up how you had sex before, but you’re totally cool announcing out loud that you’re bricked up.”

“You said – you said – that I couldn’t bring up sex without making it weird. I was the one who said it nonchalantly, and you’re the one who brought it up twice,” Jake argued.

“You also threatened to whip it out,” Katie laughed.

“Yeah, but I didn’t go through with it! I wouldn’t want to make John uncomfortable, y’know.”

I heard John shakily inhale. “Hey, go ahead.”

It was as if the movie’s volume slowly went down to zero. Jake slowly turned to John. “What?”

“I haven’t heard about sex a lot, and I, uh, don’t watch porn, but ... I dunno, if ... Maybe it could be good for me to get more used to that kind of stuff, or something. If you wanted. I dunno. It’s stupid. Sorry.” John got up and started to walk in a random direction.

“Wait, John, stop!” Jake said with urgency.

“Let him go,” Katie urged. “If he needs t-”

“No, that’s just a locked door is all,” Jake said at the same time as John turned the knob and walked right into the door. At once, all four of us started laughing, albeit a bit nervously.

“Sorry,” John said again.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Jake said, cool as a cucumber. “I’ve never gotten an offer like this-”

“It wasn’t an offer you smoothbrain, you threatened to whip it out,” Katie interrupted.

“Yeah well ... I dunno. Maybe it could be fun,” Jake continued, watching John slowly walk back towards the couch.

How the hell did we get here?! I didn’t even like dick. Why was this offer even on the table? I wanted to protest, but I knew that if I protested and gave that as my reason, Jake would just throw the “oh, why are you making it sexual” thing back in my face. If I said I didn’t want to see his dick, I knew he’d spin it into me not wanting to see his dick, and he’d make it about want. Hell, I was very sure I was straight...

... I looked back at John. Keyword, was. I knew for a long time that I was straight because I was not into dick, but there was something about John that was ... cute. The way he was kind of timid, but still got out there and got a word in. He wasn’t just a stereotypical shy person, he still tried. He had these cute little mannerisms, like narrowing his eyes mid-thought or cocking his head randomly. Plus, he didn’t have a dick, and that was my main gripe.

So ... so maybe, I was into ... Man, I didn’t know. Did I have to know?

“Ethan? Last chance to complain,” Jake teased. “Maybe I can angle it away from you.”

I shook my head. “Wait, are you actually doing this?”

“Well, she did just dare me,” Jake admitted.

“Dare? When did she dare? She didn’t dare,” I protested.

Silence. Silence filled the room. I looked at the movie. It was paused. “You really were off in La-La Land for a bit, weren’t you?” Katie laughed. “Yeah, I just dared him. You just didn’t notice.”