Once upon a State U. evening,
As I studied, eyelids heaving,
Came the sound of heavy breathing
Just outside my chamber door.

Then came a laugh—O, tortured sound!—
And then a thump upon the ground;
I quickly peeked out, all around,
And spied a form sprawled ‘cross the floor.

“Ye gods, what’s this?” I cried in shock.
But then my mind put up a block:
My world I would not let him rock,
And so I made to close the door.

But, as I went to shut the clasp,
He cleared his throat with a harsh rasp,
And, with what seemed his dying gasp,
Quoth the Craven, “What a bore!”