Once upon a State U. evening,
As I studied, eyelids heaving,
Came the sound of heavy breathing
Just outside my chamber door.

Then came a laugh—O, tortured sound!—
And then a thump upon the ground;
I quickly peeked out, all around,
And spied a form sprawled ‘cross the floor.

“Ye gods, what’s this?” I cried in shock.
But then my mind put up a block:
My world I would not let him rock,
And so I made to close the door.

But, as I went to shut the clasp,
He cleared his throat with a harsh rasp,
And, with what seemed his dying gasp,
Quoth the Craven, “What a bore!”

“What’s that you said?” With great surprise,
With opened mouth and widened eyes,
I quickly came to realize
He meant the School that I adore.

“You mean State U., you mangy cur?
How dare you cast out such a slur!”
He seemed to insults quite inured;
Again he quothed, “What a bore!”

“You study hard ‘til late at night,
You never dance, you never fight,
Into your life there falls no light—
You have your books, and nothing more.

“Your days are just a constant gruel.”
And then (becoming really cruel)
He sneered: “Make love to your slide rule!”
And as he spoke, I wept and swore.

“It’s true!” cried I, in sudden shame.
“And yet, I’m really not to blame.
And, tell the truth, weren’t you the same?”
He sighed and said, “You’ve hit the core.

“Yes, I was once the same as you.
State U., you beast! I was so true.
But it proved more than I could do:
The prof’s heels ground me to the floor.

“I committed the fatal sin:
I was not smart enough to win.
My G.P.A. has done me in;
This system now do I abhor.”

And, as he crawled away in pain,
His words rang in my ears again;
The harsh chords of a snide refrain,
The Craven’s song: “O! what a bore.”

My peace of mind? Gone with no trace.
I have no star; I have no brace.
Shall, once again, I love this place?
As quoth the Craven, “Nevermore!”