Chapter 16

It will come as no surprise to most of the readers that this is not only fiction but bald faced lies. The author has been known to stretch the truth past breaking. He is fully aware that Monster Millions is his own creation and does not exist in reality. He is also cognizant of the fact that this an alternate reality. The names might be real ... the people are not. If your name is in here ... it’s not you ... any of you.

The cop flashed his lights and blipped the siren. I pulled over. The junior cop walked up ... her side.

“We got him. The convoy will meet us at headquarters.”

“Convoy?”

“The paper on your boy stretches from New Hampshire across America ... LA. H’s a very bad boy. How old did you think he was...?”

“Maybe 23 maximum,” she said.

“He’s 40 ... has some kind of disease ... keeps him looking young.”

“Progeria,” I said, “also called Hallermann–Streiff syndrome, Gottron’s syndrome, or Wiedemann–Rautenstrauch syndrome.”

The cop looked a question.

“The docs thought I had it. Most of my paternal male relatives died early.” I said, “Daddy lived longest until I came along. He died at 50 ... on his birthday.”

“I’d say you have it beat,” said the cop.

“I don’t know ... first heart-attack at 28 ... the bastards keep bring me back. I’ve died 4 times.

“It’s not that I’m complaining...”

That got an indignant look from all parties.

“ ... Ok ... so I am ... but death was so comfortable. No worries ... no day to day living ... never knowing what I’d fuckup next ... it was great. Quit with the looks. Hey! I quite enjoyed it.

“I’d performed the mystery ... go forth and multiply ... replenish the earth and propagate, propagate, rah rah rah. Insure the line. Being here ... done that. Continuing the species ... my bit for humanity.”

“Ha ha ha ha, me thinks thou doest protest too much,” Violet said.

“Gee, Vi ... I’ve only known you three hours.”

“What?”

“Usually ya have to be friends for at least two weeks before the sarcasm slips in.”

And the cop said... “didn’t sound sarcastic to me ... sounds like the truth.”

I pulled a Sanford on ‘em, grabbed my chest looked at the sky and hollered, “I’m coming, Elizabeth.”

Laughter all round...

At the lottery headquarters, the perp was in cuffs with Law Enforcement representatives from the nearby states looking pleased.

“She won HOW MUCH!?!”

The director of the State Lottery Commission said, deadpan, “Million a year for life.”

“She stole my lottery ticket.”

Everyone thought that was funny.

Then the director said, “False representation is a felony in this state.”

“Well, she did ... and I have witnesses.”

That was even funnier.

The cops did Rochambeau for possession and a neighboring state ‘won’ him.

Then they played for ‘next.’