Simon’s phone chirped. He thought it might be Beth, but it was his sister, Stephanie.

Hey Simon, where are you?

Coyote Café.

Oh?

Yeah, waiting for Beth.

Is she late?

Yeah. Don’t think she’s coming.

Aw.

Yeah. It’s like twenty minutes.

Poor boy. Did you get anything?

Blueberry muffin. I was going to share it.

But?

But it’s all gone. Nothing but crumbs.

They’re good, aren’t they? The muffins.

Too good, as Mom would say.

Right. What if Beth comes in now, and there’s nothing but crumbs?

I could get another.

Yeah, but she’d know you were a greedy pig.

Hey, I waited.

I know. You said. So what you gonna do now? Wait forever?

At least I have a window seat. I can look out.

Any cute girls?

Not that I notice.

You should take a picture of the crumbs.

Why would I do that?

Show her what she missed.

You’re strange.

Even better, take a picture of your weener.

Huh?

Yeah, take it out and take a picture. Show her what she missed.

I’m in the café, Steph. There’s people here.

Right, but you’re at the window. No one could see.

Someone could walk by.

They couldn’t see. Come on, do it. Let’s see your cute little weener.

Don’t call it weener.

Why not? What should I call it? Wanger?

Don’t call it anything.

What does Beth call it?

She doesn’t call it anything.

Maybe that’s the problem. You should ask her.

She’s not here.

Text her. Ask her if she prefers dick or cock. I prefer cock, most of the time.

I thought you preferred weener.

Ha ha. That’s cuz you’re my brother. Brothers have weeners.

Steffie, you’re silly. Silly and strange. What do you call yours?

Now you’re the one who’s silly. Girls don’t have weeners.

I mean your

Go ahead, say it.

You say it.

Cunt.

Really?

Yeah, mostly I call it my cunt. At least in my mind.

I didn’t think girls

They do. Some of them. Beth probably calls it pussy. You should ask her. If she ever shows.

She’s not going to.

Then why are you waiting?

I don’t know.

Buy me a muffin and bring it home. I’m hungy.

No. Get your own muffin. Also you left the r out of hungry.

Cuz I’m starving to death. Come on, I need sustenance. I’ll make it up to you.

How?

I won’t call your weener weener. I’ll call it dick. Or cock. How’s that? And for good measure I’ll even suck it. If you send me a picture.

No way.

Please.