Chapter 4: I Fail

My heart is pumping like drums. But I reassure myself, maybe he is a little reasonable inside. Maybe he genuinely wants me to be his girlfriend and take me to a romantic place. I force myself to hope.

“Where are we going?” I ask as soon as we enter a slightly muddy road with crop fields on both sides. After a long time, I see the first man-made structure; a small storehouse.

He reaches the storehouse, stops the vehicle and switches off the engine. I am trying to push away the horrible thoughts. It’s hard. I am in the middle of nowhere, alone with Ravi, a truly bad person.

He tilts the vehicle to keep it on the stand forcing me to climb down. He climbs down after me.

I see his face, his greed, his hunger, his triumph and it immediately sends a pulse of pure dread down my spine freezing me on the spot.

He wraps his hands loosely around me.

“I thought I asked you to dress sexy?”, he says with his evil grin.

I don’t reply. My mouth is dry. I can hear my heart beating in my ear along with loud sirens.

“Well let me guess, it’s underneath this dress, let’s get these off then”, he says and tries to lift the sweater.

I am still frozen. I still can’t think. All the excuses that I gave to myself, my expectation of him being remotely reasonable, that he can wait, everything suddenly evaporates. In its place, I feel absolute terror.

“Stop” I hear myself say as, reflexively, my hands grab the sweater to stop him. He doesn’t stop and lifts the sweater to just below my breasts while I struggle against it.

I gather all my strength and give him a huge push. He falls back a little and I start running in the opposite direction towards the crop field.

“Fuck” I hear him shout.

Escape. This is the only thought on my mind. I should have never sat on his motorcycle! Escape. Maybe I can hide in the fields and find someone in the morning. Uncontrollable tears are flowing out of my eyes and blurring my vision as I try to find my way in the moonlight.

But within a few minutes, I feel a hand grab my hair.

“NOOOOOOO!”, I shout as Ravi pulls me back by my hair. He wraps my hair multiple times around his hand, into a tight hold. It feels like my entire scalp would be ripped apart any second. I fight to free my hair.

“It hurts. Let it go. Let go”, I cry out urgently as he spins me around. His face is filled with pure rage.

“Fucking bitch!” he shouts and then launches his fat clenched fist, with full force, into my stomach.

“Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” I hear myself scream as I feel pain more intense than I have ever felt before. The force of the punch takes my breath away and my legs collapse. I start to fall but he doesn’t let go of my hair so instead, the entire weight of my body falls on my hair. It feels like my scalp is going to be ripped apart I force my legs to steady themselves.

But physical pain is nothing compared to the absolute dread that hits me when I realize he is ready to actually hit and hurt me.

He punches my stomach again with the same force.

“Noooooooo!” I scream again.

“Please stop ... please”, I begin begging him.

“You should have thought of this before...” he shouts.

“Noooooooo!”, I scream as his palm crashes on one side of my face. My face turns and my vision temporarily collapses to darkness. My vision comes back seconds later but my ears are ringing and one side of my face is burning like it’s on fire.

He slaps me again with the back of his hand on the other side of my face. I can taste the blood in my mouth.

“Please sto...”, I begin to beg when he hits my face again.

He laughs and punches my stomach again. Before I can deal with it, his palm crashes on my back making it feel like my entire back is on fire.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh”, I cry out.

He keeps hitting me.

Then he grabs my face, squeezing my cheeks between his thumb and his fingers, and lifts it up.

I see him smiling but his eyes are radiating rage.

I am going to die. No one will hear him kill me, no one is near us for miles. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. No one has seen me come here with him. Oh my god. I am going to die. I know I wanted to kill myself earlier, but now I don’t want to die, certainly not like this.

“Don’t ever ... ever...”, he says and then I feel his knees plunge into my stomach.

I scream.

He slaps me again.

“Bitch!”, he shouts and slaps me again.

“Please! ... please “, I start to beg.

He slaps me again. Then he grabs my cheek again.

“If you ever do this again, I will not stop, I will rip your fucking flesh from your bones!”, he shouts.

He slaps me again.

“Do you understand?”, He shouts again.

I nod my head in a hurry.

He punches me again in the stomach.

“Good!”, He says and starts walking towards the storehouse, dragging me, with his hand painfully clenching my hair.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... stop ... ahhhhhhhhh ... pleeeeeeeaaase ... stop ... ahhhhh...” I keep begging with tears rolling down my cheek as he drags me painfully by my hair. I keep struggling to free my hair from his hand, free myself.

He pushes me first into the dark room and finally lets go of my hair. But suddenly, from behind, he kicks me. I fall on the floor in the darkness. Thankfully, something cushions my fall, something that feels like long straws.

I hear a switch click. I turn towards the sound as the light fills the room covered in stacks of hay. Ravi has closed the door and is putting a big lock on it.

I give a sweeping look to the whole room to search for any other way of escape. There is none. There are no windows, no passageway except the door which now has a huge lock.

He turns and looks at me.

I see his smile, his excited hungry smile.

I don’t get up but use my butt and my hands to start moving backwards in the small room, further away from him, until my back touches the wall.

“Please ... Please don’t do this!”, I cry.

“Why won’t I do this? You are my girlfriend after all?”, he says and starts laughing while pacing towards me. I try to move away but he grabs my legs and yanks me to the floor.

I fall on my back and he climbs on top of me. I feel his weight on my stomach. He is making it hard to breathe.

“Please ... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”, I scream when he punches down with full force on my breast. I cover the breast with my hand. He punches the other breast with the other hand. I cover that breast too.

He punches both of my arms simultaneously; bone-breaking punches that land on my bones.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”, I scream, feeling way more hurt than when he punched my breasts. I remove my hands from my breasts to stop him from hitting my arms.

He punches both of my breasts simultaneously. I scream. He laughs and punches again.

I scream but suddenly he is groping my breasts. I look at his face. I see pure greedy delight. I grab his hands and try to move them away but he is a lot stronger than me.

“Fuck, these are so fucking soft!”, he says as he squeezes so hard it feels like he is going to burst them.

He hits one of my breasts again and goes back to kneading it.

I realise I am feeling something.

Absolute disgust, absolute hate. My breasts are part of my modesty. Noone beside me had ever touched them, not since they had grown. And now he, an absolute vile monster, is groping it, violating them.

I can’t stop him. I don’t have the physical strength. And I am scared.

I hate the fact that I am a girl. I hate that I thought pretending to be his girlfriend was a good idea. I hate that I am so stupid. And I hate this body, this body that led him to target me, that led to my best friend’s dream to die. I keep crying the cries of utter sadness, utter helplessness, hate, disgust and anger towards me and this disgusting monster.

I am scared! Scared for my life and my dignity, My honor!

But besides these, I am feeling something else, something I don’t understand.

“These are water balloons!”, he says delightedly. He punches one breast, laughs and goes back to squeezing again.

“Please. Please. Please stop!”, I beg him.

He laughs. He grabs my sweater in his fist and in the next instant, while he continues to laugh, he pulls it away, ripping it apart.

“Noooooooooo”, I cry out as my hands cover my chest as he pulls out the bits of sweater still remaining on me.

He grabs my hands and holds them apart, away from my chest. I see his face, I see him staring at my chest covered with a white bra, I see him devouring the sight.

“Please”, I beg. He looks at my face, seemingly offended that I disturbed him. But he smiles and leans forward and moves his face down into the middle of my chest, into my cleavage.

“No, no, no, NOOOOOOOOOO!”, I shout.

But I am not shouting at him. I finally understand the feeling I couldn’t understand before. As he sucks my breasts, bites my flesh and shoves his wet tongue into the cracks and crevices of my breasts, as I hear the sloppy wet sounds filling the room, I finally understand.

No. It can’t be. It cannot be! Please God, NOOOOO!

It doesn’t matter how much I wish it were not the case, it’s impossible to deny it. I can feel my heart beating harder, I can feel my skin tingling with...

Noooooooo!

He grabs the breasts from the sides and pushes them together, squeezing them together. He shoves his wet tongue in between. He keeps biting, licking, and sucking in the middle as he squeezes, and gropes my breasts from the sides.

“No, no no! Please noooooo!”, I keep begging him and myself. I can’t believe I am feeling like this! He is a bully, a monster, the absolute worst person I have ever known. And I am being violated, he is destroying my modesty, he is ruining my honour. I hate him, I hate what he is doing, I hate what is happening to me.

But I can’t stop feeling it. Noooooo. I don’t want to feel it.

He grabs the cups of my bra and pulls them away, ripping them like my sweaters! I cover my chest with my arms.

I see his face change. Anger!

I feel his bone-crushing punches on my arms.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh”, I scream in pain. It hurts so much. But somehow it also feels...

Nooooooooo!

He pulls my arms apart.

“What the fuck are these?”, he says and then one pulls away one of my nipple pasties.

His face again turns to pure delight. I look towards my chest. I understand.