Chapter 15: Aftershocks

MY GIRLFRIENDS weren’t happy that I’d taken off and gone to Chicago without telling anyone. It seems everyone came over to the studio Saturday afternoon and again on Sunday afternoon, only to find I wasn’t there. When I got home Sunday evening, I quietly packed up the laundry and went to wash it. I didn’t finish ironing until after eleven.

I’d broken my eighteen-year perfect attendance record for church by staying in bed with Beth until nearly noon. Then we slipped out, got a sack of White Castles and I took her back home before I headed west again. I was more peaceful in my heart than I’d been and was fully sated in my sexual appetite. And wonderfully confident that there would be a life still waiting for me in Chicago.

I’d asked Beth where she was going to go to college and she’d just pointed across the street from the Camera Warehouse. DePaul University was located there. Hmm. I was arranging lodging in the shared DePaul student housing center. I could see all kinds of possibilities arising.

Chris and Ronda were finally pacified when I showed them prints of Emily and told them about the photoshoot with her. They loved the frame concept, too.

All I did in the way of photography during the week was take more yearbook pictures. It was only the third week of the semester and between depression and the funeral and taking off for Chicago, I’d already slipped behind in my classes. Studying US Government had been fairly interesting. Economics, not so much. Still, some of the terms were applicable in both economics and bookkeeping with an occasional mention of one in statistics. I just had a lot of reading to do.

Literature and Man’s Search for Meaning with Miss Kellogg was an odd kind of hybrid class that mixed literature and philosophy and maybe a little psychology all together. We had a short but difficult book to read this month called Night by Elie Wiesel. This book did nothing to ease the depression of losing a friend in war. It was hard to believe that any of this was happening in our modern age and in the world’s most independent and liberated nation. I started making notes for my term paper. It wasn’t due for three months, but the concept would require a lot of research. The theme would simply be, “Will we ever be free?”

I went to the basketball game Tuesday night and got some good pictures, I thought. Chris and I went out after the game just to make love. It was damned cold in the van, but we heated it up pretty well. It seemed like forever since we’d gone out and spent some real loving time. So much was happening and I was still thinking about Patricia and Tony when we made love. Chris suggested that I take Anna to the away game on Friday night and just relax without the burden of a relationship to deal with.

I had to wonder at that phrase. ‘The burden of a relationship.’ What was Chris trying to get across?

Anna was happy to go to the game with me. I was still taking pictures for the yearbook and she had a couple of good suggestions for angle and action I should get. We met Ronda for a few minutes after the game, but she had to hurry to catch the team bus. She told us the night was young so we should go out and have some fun. Then she kissed both of us and took off.

“Want to go into town and get a shake?” I asked. “We practically have to drive through in order to get home from here.”

“If you really want to spend date time with me, sure. Don’t feel like you need to do more than our official job together,” she answered.

“Anna, I didn’t bring you out tonight as a part of your official job with me. I hope that isn’t the only reason you came. You know I still like you and I love to spend time with you when we get a chance.”

We got to the van and she glanced into the back seat area. I’d put away the mattress and installed the seats, thinking I might have the whole crew go with me tonight, but when Anna agreed, I kind of forgot to ask anyone else. I thought she sighed a little, but she got in and slid right over beside me in the middle.

“I love having you sit right beside me, Anna, but this is a four on the floor and the gearshift lever sticks right up here. Please don’t think I’m making a pass when I have to shift,” I laughed.

“So, you won’t be making a pass?”

“Well, no.”

“Can I pretend you are?”

“I ... What?”

She just giggled in response and leaned against me. And I think she shifted herself a little to make sure the lever was between her legs and wouldn’t hit her in the knee. Believe me, that bare leg right there was a real temptation.

“I was kind of afraid that I’d dropped off your list,” she sighed. “I mean, you took off and went to Chicago, which means that even though you had a client, you spent the night with Elizabeth. Since I’m the only girl who doesn’t put out for you, I just figured I was out.”

I pulled into the parking area at Gerties and turned to face Anna. I put my arm around her and pulled her up close to me.

“Anna, I respect your boundaries. Putting out for me is not a requirement of our friendship or me liking to spend time with you,” I said. “A month ago, you pushed a lot of your boundaries in your photo session and I felt ... still feel very privileged to have been part of your exploration. But that isn’t a requirement for us to be friends and to enjoy each other’s company.”

“I know, Nate,” she sighed. “I just ... Sometimes—maybe all the time now—I want it to be part of our relationship. I know you’re afraid it will mean something different to me than it does to you, and maybe that’s true, but I recognize that you are not my one and only boyfriend or I’m not your one and only girlfriend. I still want to be treated like I am sometimes. Instead of going in for a shake, will you just take me someplace and kiss me and make out for a while. I really really liked that.”

She punctuated her statement by moving in and putting her lips against mine. She still wasn’t a very experienced kisser, but she was enthusiastic. When we broke from the kiss I looked deeply into her eyes and then kissed her on the nose.

“Right under a streetlight in Huntertown probably isn’t the best place to make out,” I said. “Let’s go someplace to be alone for a while.”

Fifteen minutes later, we were kissing at the ferry landing overlook. We’d only sort of gone parking once before and I still wasn’t sure about how far she wanted to go. I found out soon enough as her maroon blouse seemed to come unbuttoned on its own. Once it was unbuttoned, Anna saw no reason to keep it on. And once the blouse was off, there was nothing stopping her bra from coming off, too.

My shirt came free as well. We were thankful that even though I’d taken the mattress out of the van, the blanket was still folded on the seat and we could pull it over the top of us to trap whatever heat we generated. And Anna was definitely hot. I absolutely loved having her bare breasts pressed against my chest as we kissed and petted.

I slid a hand up her painted yellow corduroy skirt. The yellow cords were a senior thing. I had mine on as well. The girls had taken charge of painting them and I thought I had the best-looking senior cords in the school. The skirts were just a little shorter than the school dress code allowed, but no one complained about them. For some reason, my hand had just found her bare leg and slid right up under the short skirt—all the way up the back of her thigh to her bottom.

Anna began to moan and pant, her kisses erratic and deep. I could feel her tension building and kissed my way down off her face to her neck and then pulled her up to me so I could capture a nipple between my lips and begin lashing it with my tongue.

“Yes! Oh, yes,” she gasped. “Lick me. Touch me.”

Touch her? She rolled to her side, keeping her nipple in my mouth, but turning her waist so my hand tracked from her butt around to the front. Anna’s legs parted and I found myself tracing her pussy through her silky panties. It didn’t take much pressure there before Anna stiffened in orgasm and let out a long moan as if she were dying. Her hand found the front of my cords and in two strokes, I was joining her moans as I continued to suck and lick her breasts and come in my pants.

I had my hand between Anna’s legs and could feel the moist heat soaking through her panties. She was still holding my throbbing cock. I raised my head from her nipple and caught her in a deep kiss while we continued to massage each other’s privates.

“You ... have your hand on my va ... pussy,” she gasped. “I’m holding your pen ... cock and felt you come in my hand. I’m not quite a fallen woman, but I don’t think I’ll make it past graduation as a virgin. We’d better stop now or I won’t make it past tonight.”

“Oh, Anna. I never intended to make you go so far,” I apologized as I pulled my hand from between her legs and she released my cock.

She started laughing.

“You’d ... really try ... to take the blame ... for that!” she choked out. “All you can be blamed for is being too weak to resist me. I asked you to take me parking. I took off half my clothes and got you out of half of yours. I practically forced your hand between my legs and I grabbed hold of your cock like it was a lifesaver. I did all that and you want to apologize for making me go so far.”

“I mean, it’s always the guy’s fault. I should be more responsible.”

“Oh, poor baby,” Anna said as she stuffed her nipple in my mouth again. “Just suck on my little nipple a while and we’ll both feel better in a minute. Maybe most guys would be to blame. Maybe most guys would have been pressuring me to go all the way. Maybe most guys wouldn’t take no for an answer. If anything, I’m the one who pressured you and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Oh! You bit me and I could feel my pussy gush. Now stop that,” she giggled, pushing me away from her chest. I stared at her as she covered those boobs with her bra. Then we both pulled our shirts on.

“Anna, what happened? You were so reserved and conservative and then...”

“I tested the devil’s playground. And I really liked the equipment,” she sighed. “Since the first time you made me come, during my photo session, I haven’t been able to stop playing with myself. I’m having much better orgasms now, thank you. But nothing compares to having you touch me and make me come. I’m just sure that it will be that much better when we have the mattress in the back and go all the way. Not soon. I’m having way too much fun playing right now. But eventually, you’ll find me naked on the mattress inviting you to put your cock in my pussy. I’m too far gone to ever go back.”

“Anna, I don’t know what to say. What I know is that it will be one more reason it will be difficult to say goodbye when I move to Chicago this summer.”

“I’ll be less than a hundred miles away. You’ll have to meet with me occasionally to go over your books, you know.”

“I can see I should have made a rule about sex with employees,” I sighed. I didn’t really mean it, though. I was a damn horny eighteen-year-old and the idea of fucking Anna had far more appeal than guilt.

Saturday afternoon, I’d just finished printing a nice archival print of Emily stretched out with the frame in front of her when I heard the studio door open. Apparently, I’d forgotten to lock it and someone decided to come in.

“I’m in the darkroom,” I called. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

I could hear some shuffling around and a drop being pulled down as I squeegeed the print. When I had it ready to dry, I opened the door.

Patricia was standing quietly in front of the blue backdrop, naked. She had her face turned away from me. I laid the print on the table and went to hug her. She gripped me tightly and rubbed her face against my chest. I didn’t think she was crying. It was more like I’ve seen cats marking their territory. She looked up and kissed me softly.

“I need pictures,” she said.

“Let me grab the camera and load it.”

I had no difficulty taking pictures of Patricia. She was having a hard time and if modeling would help her cope, I would use every frame of film I had. I set up the camera on the tripod and moved a couple of lights to where they would be on her.

“What kind of shots would you like today, honey?” I asked.

“Front, back, and side. Just plain shots to start. Then we can do something artsy-fartsy.”

Wow! Taking pictures of Patricia front, back, and profile reminded me of taking Sandra’s photos. I almost asked Patricia if she wanted a pussy shot, too.

“Okay. We’ve got your basic shots. What’s up, Patricia?” I asked.

“You need to take my picture every week,” she said. “Front, back, and profile. Tony will want to see them.”

“Oh, honey...”

“No. I’m not crazy. I know Tony is gone. I still don’t want to believe it, but I have to. I mean ... Little Tony.” She looked at me and tears sprang to her eyes. “I’m pregnant. My husband didn’t even know he was going to be a father. They killed him before I could tell him. Before I found out.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. I scooped her up in my arms and went to sit on the edge of the bed where I could just hold her and pet her hair as she hugged me.

“I missed my next period after Tony was here on leave. I really didn’t think anything about it because I was so stressed out about him going to Vietnam. And we always used a condom. Except once. The last time we made love in Chicago, I just wanted to feel him in me and know that he could feel me. I guess once is all it took.”

“Missing one period...”

“That was the first. Then there was my eighteenth birthday and the party and I wasn’t eating much. I lost some weight because he was over there. I wrote to him every night to that stupid APO in San Francisco so you never know where your letter is going or if it got there. I just lost track of when my period should be and missed again. I knew I should be having a period sometime this first two weeks of January, but there was the news and the funeral. And Mom was worried about me and took me to a doctor. The doctor drew blood and ran a test, then did an ultrasound. He confirmed that I had a little Tony growing in my womb.”

“Oh, Patricia,” I said. “I don’t know what to say. It’s terrible and frightening and wonderful all at the same time.”

“I can’t really ask you to marry me, can I?” she laughed. “I don’t know how I’ll handle it. Mom and Ellie both sat down with me and said they’d help and I’d never have to worry about where to live or having childcare. I could finish school and still model. But I’ll never be a Playboy bunny now.”

“You know that short of marrying you, I’ll do anything I can to help,” I said. “I just want you to be able to be happy about having Tony’s child.”

“I am. It will be like having a little of him with me always.”

Patricia pulled my hand to her tummy and kissed me. I really tried to feel something there, but I didn’t think you were supposed to be able to feel anything at three months. And it was hard to concentrate on anything with the way Patricia was kissing me and kind of squirming in my lap. I let my hand drift up and cup her breast. I assumed they’d change in the coming six months, too. I wanted to make sure I captured photos that showed all the changes. I still had half a roll of film in the camera. I’d suggest some additional photos to document all the changes in her body, like I was doing for Sandra.

I’m not sure when it happened, but Patricia had a hand on mine and as we kissed, she guided it between her legs. She was hot and wet and I rubbed the right places to make her moan. She had my shirt open and was working on my belt and zipper.

“Patricia, we need to stop,” I whispered. My fingers continued to stimulate her clit.

“Make love to me, Nate. I might never have another lover. Please make love to me.”

“I can’t. We’re in the studio. And I don’t even have a condom with me.”

“You can’t get me any more pregnant than I am,” she whispered.

She fell back on the bed and pulled me down with her. The layer of foam rubber we’d put on the bed so the models wouldn’t be lying directly on the plywood wasn’t as comfortable as a bed, but it did cushion us somewhat.

She had my cock out of my pants and in her hand. I kicked my pants off and moved her over so she was fully on the bed and she pulled me on top of her.

“Make love to me. Make love to me,” she repeated.

And then my cock was there, steeping in the wetness that had gathered at her entrance.

“Is this okay?” I asked. “For the baby?”

“People have sex almost up to when they deliver,” she said. “In me. Make love to me, Nate.”

I sank into the warm and welcoming pussy of my fantasy girl. It was unbelievable. Patricia’s had been the first girl’s nipple I’d ever seen. She’d teased me, even suggesting that I masturbate to her pictures as she’d think about my cock while she masturbated. It was the first I knew that girls got pleasure from sex. They masturbated! Now the cock she’d fantasized about was in the pussy of my fantasies. And we were both loving it. Patricia rose and humped back at me as much and as hard as I pumped into her. She kept kissing me and I managed to keep her tits in my hands as I plowed her channel.

And then the pulsing in her pussy that would herald an orgasm pulled me deeper and I unleashed a torrent into her. As she came and gripped my cock in her vibrating pussy, I thought it really wouldn’t be that bad to be married to her. I’d have the child of my best friend to raise and his wife to...

Damn! I was fucking Tony’s wife! I was a real asshole!

“Nate, are you here?” Chris’s voice came from the door of the studio.

“Damn it!” I whispered.

Patricia had come through when I left it unlocked and I got so distracted that I never went to lock it while we were taking pictures and now...

“Holy Fuck! What is going on?” Chris demanded.

“Just everything you think,” I said, jumping up with my cock still dripping from Patricia’s cunt. “Christine, I can explain.”

“Save it! Fuck!” She turned back to the door. “You’re supposed to pick me up at six. I just thought we could get an early start. Please take a shower before you come to get me. And lock the fucking door!” She slammed the door shut behind her. I went to lock it like a good boy. Then I returned to Patricia. She was crying.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have come to you and seduced you into bed. I’ll go talk to Chris. I’m sorry,” she said.

“Shh. Hey now.” I sat and pulled her into my arms. “It will be okay. Christine is just shocked at catching us. She isn’t really angry. You were, like, pre-approved. She and Ronda both said that when the time came to be with you it was okay. She’s just surprised. I kept telling them it would never happen and here it has.”

“Really, Nate? My life is fubar. Tony gave me that word from the army. It means ‘fucked up beyond all recognition.’ I just didn’t want to fuck up your life, too. I was being selfish,” Patricia moaned. She wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly.

“I promise. It will be okay. And I’ll be here every step of the way, Patricia. I can’t be a father to your child, but I’ll be your friend and if you need me, I’ll be your lover. Tell me what you need and I’ll try to be there for you.”

“The doctor fixed my due date pretty firmly since there was only one chance that could have gotten me pregnant. It’s July 20. Will you still be here in town?”

“I didn’t plan to try to get settled in Chicago until late August. Classes start the day after Labor Day and I think I’ll be spending time with um ... my girlfriend for a few days before.”