Chapter 20: The Last Pilgrim

ONCE UPON A TIME, not so long ago, right here in the Town of Mallowrock, there were seven people sitting in the Inn of the Shorn Sheep discussing the increasing presence of the Terror. None of them knew what the Terror was, for none had ever seen it, but these were fine upright citizens who believed that something must be done to stop the Terror.

Now their real names will not interest you, but I will tell you the names I have given them. At the head of the table sat Governor Authority, a watchful man who liked a well-run town. Taxes were paid on time, children went to bed when they were told, and punishment was meted out to those who defied Authority. To the Governor’s left, was the long-married couple, Sir Passion and Lady Love. As long as they had each other, both got along well with Governor Authority, but when found alone, they were as likely to flout Authority as to obey him. To the Governor’s right was Sergeant Bravery. He was decorated with medals from the wars he had fought and the kings he had served, and there was no one on whom Authority depended more than Sergeant Bravery.

Also at the table was a boy named Youth and a maiden named Beauty. Maid Beauty caught everyone’s eye. She had the blush of dawn and was in the blossom of her womanhood. She believed that everything should be blessed by Beauty and often meddled in the keeping of other people’s homes and the cleaning of the streets. Next to her, Master Youth was an impetuous fellow, who faced the future squarely and was often harshly critical of where Authority had led them thus far. The future, he declared, belonged to him and Authority should pay more heed.

Finally, there was an old man at the table who called himself Wisdom. It often fell to the old man to arbitrate when there was a disagreement and to counsel both Youth and Authority in their conflicts. It was said all around Mallowrock that everything went better when Wisdom was around.

Now the subject of their gathering on this night, as I said, was the encroaching Terror and what it was doing to the people. All these fine citizens could see that there was a threat and that the denizens of Mallowrock depended on them to find a solution, but they could not agree among themselves what that solution would be. Even Wisdom was at a loss.

Eventually, the old man came up with an idea that seemed good to all of those gathered. There was an oracle at the joining of two rivers in a deep valley, on the other side of the mountains, called the Athenaeum. It was said all answers could be found there.

The seven decided they should travel together to the Athenaeum of Twin Rivers to ask the oracle what they should do about the approaching Terror. They would take whatever advice they received.

So that the people of Mallowrock were not alone and despairing, they decided to leave the beloved Dame Hope in charge of the town while they were absent on their pilgrimage.

Governor Authority ordered a horse and cart to be brought to the door of the Inn and the seven pilgrims set out on their journey. Well, that is to say, they all climbed aboard the cart and took their places, but the cart did not move. Looking for an answer, it was soon discovered there was no one to drive the cart. They called for volunteers to drive them to the Athenaeum of Twin Rivers, and suddenly, the inn yard was silent and empty. No one wanted to undertake this dangerous journey with the seven pilgrims.

It was then that the town’s Drunk snored from his resting place on the steps of the inn. Immediately, he was drafted. He was seated on the driver’s bench and told to drive the pilgrims out of town and to the Athenaeum of Twin Rivers. You might think this is a strange choice, but there were no other resources to be had and, in truth, Drunk was a good man who just liked his wine a little more than others. After a few tries, he cracked a whip over the horse to pull the cart out of town.

On the right side of the cart were seated Lady Love, Sir Passion, and Old Man Wisdom. On the left side of the cart were Sergeant Bravery, Maid Beauty, and Master Youth. Governor Authority stood in the front of the cart, not, as you might expect, to give direction to the driver, but rather facing the back of the cart so he could better keep an eye on his fellow pilgrims and where they had been.

It was a glorious departure. People from the town turned out to cheer their heroes on and to wish them good speed on their journey. Down the main street of town the cart was pulled, right up to the stone arch at the entrance.

Having driven carts before, when they reached the stone arch, Drunk called out in a slurred voice, “Duck!” But there was so much cheering and adoration going on that Authority paid no heed to Drunk. Thus, it happened that when they went through the stone arch, Authority was struck in the back of the head and fell dead off the cart.