Chapter 2: The Fool’s Gold

ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a tiny gnome named Fonrick, who lived beneath the rugged garden wall of a great castle. He had enjoyed his position in the royal gardens for many years and had seen several generations of kings come to the throne. He had always maintained a good standing with the rulers of this little kingdom. The kitchen staff depended on him to scout out the best vegetables for the king’s table. Fonrick was comfortable and fat and raised a lovely little family of gnomes over the years.

It was this, in fact, that proved to be the source of Fonrick’s problems. When the little gnome’s youngest son, Nerrick, was just a hundred summers old, he set out to find his own garden in the world. Just as he was setting up a new home at a small cottage he had found, a crotchety old gardener named Haruld discovered him. Haruld was of the school that considered garden gnomes to be common pests, and was determined to drown Nerrick. In fear for his life, Nerrick began begging and ultimately arrived at reciting his family heritage and lineage. When Haruld heard that Nerrick’s family lived beneath the wall of the castle gardens, the cagey old man hesitated.

“Ah,” he thought. “Perhaps this little gnome could have his uses.”

He placed Nerrick in a bucket and put a plank over it while he contemplated the possibilities, for if Haruld was anything more than a crotchety old man, he was a greedy old man. He sat at his table eating stale bread and drinking sour wine, with his feet propped on top of the bucket, and mused aloud.

“I suppose that being raised in the castle, you are wealthy,” he began. Nerrick was silent while listening. “Your family, I suppose, are still living at the castle and would hate to see anything happen to their little gnomelet,” he continued. “They would probably pay some of the king’s gold to keep little Nerrick from harm. Now if that gold were to find its way to me, I might be persuaded to let this little gnome stay in my garden. What do you say, little gnome? Will you be my hostage for ransom, or will you die in my well?”

Now Nerrick was truly panicked, for although his family was happy and had all they needed, they had never needed gold. They ate from the king’s garden and the king’s cook left them special sweets. Their home beneath the garden wall was snug and comfortable. None of Nerrick’s family in all their years had needed gold. But the little gnome knew that if he did not agree to the terms, he would be drowned in the well.

“Perhaps,” he thought, “if I agree to these terms, I might find a way to escape.”

“Oh, great and mighty master,” answered Nerrick. “If I could just go to my family, I would take your demands and bring you the gold you seek. Then we could live in peace and harmony in your garden.”

“What do you take me for, gnome?” huffed the old man. “If I let you go, you would never come back, and I would have neither gold nor the pleasure of drowning you! I shall take you on a leash to the home of your parents and we shall make the demands together.”

With that, the greedy gardener fashioned a small leash out of an old leather satchel. He took the board off the bucket and, before Nerrick could gasp for breath, had the leash fastened around the gnome’s neck.

The poor gnome was led thus to the castle walls and in his humiliation was forced to call out to his family.

“Father, father,” Nerrick cried. “Your son has come to visit. Please come outside the castle wall to speak with me.”

Not knowing what had happened to his son, Fonrick slipped through his back door to see why he had been called. When he saw his son with a leash around his neck he was filled with fury.

“What is the meaning of this? Why have you shackled my son and brought him thus to my door?” Fonrick demanded.

“Your son trespassed on my property,” said Haruld. “I have come to demand ransom for him. You must bring me five gold pieces or I shall drown your son in my well.”

“And if I bring you gold?” asked Fonrick, smelling a foul odor in the man’s offer.

“Why then, of course, he will live beneath my garden wall as a free, rent-paying tenant,” responded Haruld.

Now, neither Fonrick nor Haruld, nor even Nerrick believed for a moment that Nerrick would be free, for the desire for gold is a disease that consumes the heart, and Haruld had contracted the disease when Nerrick first mentioned the castle. But Fonrick had not lived to the age of 832 summers without gaining some knowledge and proving that he was clever enough to survive. So, he answered the gardener.

“It shall be as you have demanded,” said Fonrick, chuckling.

“What do you find so funny?” demanded Haruld. Nerrick was terrified.

“Why, that you demand so little,” answered Fonrick. “Here you have captured a gnome of the king’s household and yet all you want is a few pieces of gold.”

This truly gave Haruld pause. In his very small mind, five pieces of gold seemed like a king’s ransom. And, indeed, it was more by far than Fonrick actually possessed. But it started the greedy old man thinking. If the gnome was worth five gold coins, of course, he would be worth ten gold coins. And everyone knows that to a king, twenty gold coins are no more noticeable than ten. If he could get twenty gold coins from the king, why couldn’t he get fifty? Or even...