The full moon illuminated the empty graveyard as Wednesday and Enid peered through the wrought iron fence from the outside. The howling wind carried the voices of faint whispers- but not a soul was to be seen.

“The coast looks clear. Let’s go inside,” Wednesday said. She removed an antique skeleton key from her knapsack and slid it effortlessly inside the heavy padlock that hung in the gate’s hasp. The witch who’d sold it to her was true to her word- the lock popped open without a fuss. Wednesday pulled the gate open just wide enough for her and her roommate to slip through.

Enid clutched Wednesday’s sleeve.

“Wednesday ... are you sure this is a good idea?” Enid was shaking in the cold November air. A wolf howled in the distance, making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

“I never said you had to come,” Wednesday said, flatly. She squeezed through the gate’s opening and Enid reluctantly followed.

Wednesday walked determinately through the graveyard, glancing briefly at each tombstone as she passed. Enid remained a step behind her, keeping an eye on the partially opened gate behind them.

“Here,” Wednesday said, coming to an abrupt stop. Enid read the inscription on the tombstone before them and confirmed that they’d arrived at the right place.

“Arthur ‘Ripper’ Hynes,” Wednesday said aloud. “Murderer. Thief. Social media influencer. Tonight we put your tortured soul to rest.”

“Oh my God,” Enid gasped. “Oh my God oh my God oh my God are we really doing this?”

Wednesday glared at her trembling companion.

“You want him to stop haunting our room? This is what it’s going to take. Let’s start digging.”

Wednesday drew the shovel from underneath her arm and plunged the metal blade into the cold dirt beneath her feet. Mustering all of her courage, Enid assisted, taking her shovel and helping clear the soil from the deceased killer’s final resting place. With every scoop she removed, Enid stole a glace at the notorious name on the gravestone beside her and dug faster.

“Are you really not bothered by this at all?” she asked, more to fill the silence than to probe the psyche of her roommate whom she was already well aware had no squeamishness for the macabre.

“I’m very bothered by this,” Wednesday replied. “The garden store clerk said these shovels had non-slip shafts. Next time let’s splurge for handle grips.”

“NEXT time?” Enid exclaimed. “Wednesday, we’re digging up the grave of a homicidal maniac! He killed twelve people with a pickax!”

“Twelve people,” Wednesday mused. She stared wistfully into the distance. “One short of thirteen. I can see how unfinished business like that could torment a fastidious murderer’s soul.”

She resumed digging. Enid shrugged defeatedly and continued helping her roommate exhume the cursed grave.

With a few hours’ work, the schoolgirls managed to uncover most of the coffin buried below. Wednesday planted her feet on either side of the wooden burial case and extended her arm upwards with her palm open. Enid handed her a crowbar from her knapsack so Wednesday could get to prying.

With three hard thrusts, Wednesday cracked open the lid and peered inside. There lay the decaying skeleton of Arthur “Ripper” Hynes. He lay peacefully in the moonlight, unbothered by the gaping hole in the top of his skull where he’d been impaled with his own pickax by his would-be final victim.

“Arthur Hynes, for decades you have pined for your family heirlooms that had been stolen from you,” Wednesday declared. “Tonight, I return to you what is rightfully yours.”

She took the golden Hynes family ring from her pocket and slipped it onto the bony finger of the deceased murderer. A sense of calm came over her, as if an unspoken voice had assured her that an outstanding debt had finally been paid. Gratitude from the dead always soothed Wednesday’s spirit better than little else.

“Okay! You gave the dead killer dude his ring back, do you think we can go now?” Enid asked, not sharing the profound sense of accomplishment and soothing peace felt by her companion at that moment.

“Give me a minute,” Wednesday said. She closed her eyes and took a breath, and inhaled the sweet stench of death.

The girls made quick work of refilling the grave. After patting the earth flat and decorating the headstone with a bundle of withered flowers, they stealthily scurried out of the cemetery, unseen by living eyes.

Enid waited until the were a good distance away from the cemetery before she spoke again.

“How do you do that?” she asked.

“Wake the Dead is one of my favorite childhood games,” Wednesday said. “I’ve got a lifetime of practice digging up graves.”

“I mean like, mentally. I feel like nothing unsettles you. You must have some weakness.”

Wednesday looked thoughtfully up into the moonlit sky.

“Perhaps. But you’re forgetting Rule Number One.” Wednesday stopped walking and looked Enid directly in the eye. “Never reveal your weaknesses.”

She said nothing the entire rest of the walk.

It was a twenty minute hike back to Nevermore Academy. The girls stashed their equipment at their friend Eugene’s bee apiary so that they could enter their dorm building empty-handed. Both of them had been near certain they’d gotten away with their late night outing until they opened the door to their dorm room and found their very upset third roommate waiting for them.

Snap! Snap!

Thing chastised them with two snaps as soon as they stepped inside their room.

“Uh oh. I don’t think Thing was very happy we snuck out,” Enid said, worried.

“We had important business to attend to, Thing,” Wednesday said sternly. She pulled off her coat and hung it neatly on her coat hook. Thing pointed to the freshly typed letter protruding from Wednesday’s typewriter. She looked at the sternly worded message and pulled it from the platen. “Four paragraphs? This should be good.”

Wednesday cleared her throat and read the letter Thing had typed aloud.

“Wednesday, your parents specifically instructed me to remain here at Nevermore to keep watch over you and keep you safe. You’ve been expelled from one educational establishment after another and now you are jeopardizing your enrollment once again. You were told there would be consequences for leaving Nevermore campus after nightfall, and consequences there will be. Your parents authorized me to use any disciplinary means I feel are necessary to ensure your cooperation in this matter. Therefore, I have decided to use corporal punishment, which I feel you sorely need given your recent behavior. You will cooperate with these disciplinary measures or face worse consequences when I inform your parents of your actions tonight ... this goes on.”

Wednesday lowered the paper and glared at Thing grimly.

“Corporal punishment?” Enid said in shock. “Thing is going to... spank you? Can he do that?”

Thing snapped and pointed to the letter still in Wednesday’s hands.

“Oh, there’s more.” Wednesday skipped to the final paragraph of the letter. “Enid, I’ve learned from searching the student files that your parents have granted Nevermore Academy permission to discipline you with corporal punishment on an as-needed basis as well. Given that, I will be punishing you for your role in sneaking out with Wednesday unless you prefer to get the school administration involved. Otherwise, both of you need to bend over your beds and await your punishments right now.”

Enid took a step backwards in shock.

“Woah, woah, woah! Recommending me hand lotion and helping me apply my nail polish is one thing, but I draw the line at that guy spanking me!” Enid declared.

“Bad idea,” Wednesday warned. “Thing may be friendly when we wants to be, but you do not want to cross him. I recommend doing as he says.”

Wednesday lifted her dress and laid face down upon her bed. She peeled off her black lace panties and slid them down to her knees, exposing her pale white buttocks. Enid gasped.

“You’re not REALLY going to let him spank you, are you?”

“I’ve suffered worse. My Uncle Fester owns a cat of nine tails. A few hand spankings don’t faze me. Come on, Thing, I don’t have all night. Let’s get this over with.”

Thing had his attention on Enid, who still stood trembling at the side of her bed. He curled his fingers into an angry fist; irritated at Enid’s delay.

“He looks really mad...” Enid said, shaking with fear.

Thing leaped through the air and launched himself at Enid, making her scream. He curled his fingers around the waistband of her skirt and in one fell swoop, pulled it to her ankles. Unable to run, Enid hobbled helplessly as the disembodied hand skittered up her leg like a cat scaling a tree, and hooked one finger around the waistband of her pink panties. In one swift movement, he brought the undergarment down to her ankles, leaving the blonde girl bottomless and shrieking.

“Okay! Okay! I’ll do it!” Enid climbed onto her bed and matched Wednesday’s pose, arching her abdomen to leave her bottom exposed and vulnerable. She looked over at Wednesday. “Is this going to hurt?”

“Pain is an Addams family specialty, I’m afraid,” Wednesday said. “I suggest you brace yourself.”

Enid clenched her eyes shut. Thing launched himself from her bed, across the room, and landed with a hard and decisive slap against Wednesday’s left butt cheek.

Wednesday hardly flinched. She stared defiantly at the wall as she awaited Thing’s next attack.

The sentient hand shot back across the room toward Enid’s waiting buttocks, striking the petite girl’s left cheek with a harsh smack.

Enid let out a squeal. It hurt far worse than she’d anticipated. Despite being nothing more than a hand, Thing possessed the strength of a dozen full men.

“Don’t scream. It only encourages him,” Wednesday advised.

Enid took the suggestion under consideration and clutched her pillow tightly. Thing launched himself across the room again, giving Wednesday another slap across her bottom. She seethed, but did not give her tormentor the satisfaction of an admission of pain. Her entire personality forbade it.