“Unfortunately, let us say regrettably, Miss Tricksie, your erm ‘Uncle’s’ accident involved substantial damage, let us say irrecoverable damage, to his, um, upper regions, such that positive identification would be, let us say, dubious, ipso facto impossible, but as the only surviving relative, it is imperative, let us say essential, that you confirm the authenticity of, um, his essense, his, let us say his essential being, thereby standing to inherit certain assets, and fortunately there remains, if you’ll pardon the expression, an avenue of identification which—”