Chapter 13

“Good evening. In our top story today, the White House released a statement today relating to food supply projections for the next twenty years. The information shows that due to population curves and the ongoing climate change concerns, the country is expected to continue to experience significant food shortages for the foreseeable future.”

“In other news...”

“Until we see the hard data behind the projections they are talking about, and yes, they are only projections, the Melville administration is simply lying out their rear ends. This information is too laughably incomplete to be taken seriously. One has to question the motives for a sitting President to stir up this level of anxiety in the population. I question their motives.”

“Senator Bilson, you have to admit that there has been a lot of problems with food sources for the last few decades. What is your party saying officially about the official White House statement?” Daniel Miller, the host of the Miller Sunday News Hour, asked the Senator directly.

“The Republican party’s official stance is the same as mine: either show us all the hard data that your projections are based on, or stop stirring up everyone with your Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt,” Senator Rodney Bilson shot back.

“But isn’t FUD your party’s main political tool these days? Especially ever since the split with the Lincoln Conservative party some forty years ago in the wake of the horrible Trump presidency and the disaster he left behind, Elmer?” Senator Ali Arman asked up. Everyone knew the Democratic Senator from New York was a master at agitating and pushing other people’s buttons, and she lived up to her reputation now.

Senator Bilson rounded on Senator Arman and almost snarled. “Trump put this country on a path to return to greatness. It is clear and obvious that no one would have been able to predict the Covid-19 pandemic, but he gets blamed for it, like the virus was his fault. He didn’t unleash the virus on the world; the Chinese did in their Wuhan Covid-19 Lab in Wuhan province. That much is established history, especially since the release of the World Health Organization’s report in 2024 releasing the findings that proved the Chinese leaked it on purpose as a deliberate act of economic terrorism! Stop pointing the finger at a great President! If it weren’t for Covid, everything he tried to do for our great country would have succeeded, and we would have been in a much better world because of him!”

“Actually,” Senator Nate Fender of the Lincoln Conservative Party interjected, “President Obama predicted the coming pandemic in a speech he made years before. That was when the U.S. had a Pandemic Task Force, which your ‘hero’ shut down and defunded some years before the Covid-19 pandemic occurred, since he obviously ‘knew better’ than the scientists and researchers who actually learned something in college instead of having their daddy threaten the school administration with lawsuits if they didn’t give his little darling good grades. Hell, even Melania warned him he was screwing it up!

“That decision to shut down the Pandemic Task Force, and his personally admitted non-existent response to the virus (‘drink bleach’, ‘it’ll disappear like magic by summer’, and my personal favorite, ‘it’s a Democratic party hoax to harm my reelection’ while bodies were dropping like flies across the country), was what every non-political expert across the world has firmly stated lead directly to a minimum of eighty percent of the deaths in the United States that were attributed to the Covid-19 pandemic. History assigns your hero personally with the blame for four hundred and fifty thousand deaths, something no president in history has ever even come close to achieving.

“If I recall correctly, the WHO report also stated that the Chinese felt the timing was right to ‘accidentally leak’ the virus then because, in the words of the Chinese head of the project, ‘Trump is much the fool, and will be unable to stop it before it damages their economy enough to give us the edge for the next twenty years.’ So, you don’t get to use that report to justify your hero’s incompetence.

“Remember, your boy Trump is credited with destroying any chance your party will ever have again of having a political majority at the national level, while also being the only President in history to be impeached twice, and with being credited with instigating the only domestic insurrection and sedition this country has ever faced. And let’s not forget the landmark lawsuits that netted Dominium Voting Systems, that voting machine company, record-breaking damage awards in their lawsuits against Giuliani and Powell, his two idiot lawyers.

“You should seriously consider getting a new hero. Your current one died in prison from the Covid-19 Lambda variant a long time ago for several types of fraud and tax evasion, not to mention sedition and treason, broke and abandoned by the rest of his family, half of whom was also in prison alongside him. He was lucky they didn’t march him out, stand him up against a wall, and shoot him like the treasonous bastard he was.

“And before you tell me that his trial was rigged, he was found guilty by a jury of his peers in front of a prosecutor and a judge who were both diehard Republicans. And his conviction was upheld by the same Supreme Court that he stacked six to three with conservative, Republican-appointed justices. How many Senators does the Republican Party have since the last election? Thirteen?”