Chapter 3

As I turned on the TV in the basement, I noticed Stormi taking another beer from the bar fridge. She poured it into her nearly empty glass, since most of the ice had melted. I said, “Bring me a beer too, and remember to put ice in your next one.” I’d told her only two beers, but me getting her drunk and taking advantage of her wouldn’t be an issue. She’d practically tried to rape me the previous night and gave me a blowjob an inning ago, while she was mostly sober.

“Sure thing, Uncle Pete.” She sat next to me as I watched her smoking a cig and sucking beer through a straw.

I asked, “I know you don’t want to go to college, but why, exactly?”

“I don’t want to move far away, where I don’t know anybody. I don’t want to live at home, either. My little sister is annoying, and Mom and Dad PISS ME OFF nearly every day!”

“What about the classes and homework?”

“Well, I guess family is most of the problem.” A hopeful look came to her eyes. “What if I could go to college and live with you?”

“I don’t know if your Mom would like that idea. She’d probably suspect we’re ah...”

“Fucking?”

I laughed. “Hahaha! We’re not fucking yet, but hopefully soon...”

“What if I worked for you, cooked and cleaned the house? I could tell her I’m doing the housekeeping as rent.”

I smiled. “Smart idea! I think that will work, sweetness.” I kissed her lips and hugged her.

She eagerly bounced up and down. “Yes! So when I can move in?”

“I work all week. How about Friday night?”

“YES!” I was surprised at her strength, as her hug threatened to crush my chest.

Once her grip slackened, I reminded her, “It won’t just be one long happy date. You need to take your classes seriously. And I really would expect you to help with cooking and housework.”

“I know. But we can kiss, make out, and ... have fun in bed every night.”

“The nights when you’re in the mood. I know there are certain times of the month when women don’t feel like it.”

“Well, any night that I’m horny, so ... hehehe! Most of the time!”

I giggled along with her, then explained, “You’ll also need to think about what happens after college. You can’t stay with me forever.”

Her head drooped in disappointment. “We’d be so happy. But ... but I guess maybe you’re right. We can’t marry or have kids.”

“Eventually you’ll find a hot guy your own age and forget about me.”

“Well ... I don’t think so. I love you!”

“You need to start birth control, too.”

She pointed to a small lump on her arm. “I have the implant, so no babies for two years. Please?”

I smiled and gave her a quick kiss. “Deal. I’ll call and tell your Dad tonight, and we’ll move your stuff on Friday.”

“I love you, Uncle Pete! Thank you!”

“I love you too, Stormi.” Instead of passionate, our French kiss was slow and romantic. I didn’t like that she tasted like smoke, but dearly loved the rest of her. I put an arm over her and occasionally glanced at her sucking on a cigarette, while watched the rest of the baseball game.

After a disappointing final inning, she curiously said, “Mom doesn’t like you, but she won’t say why. I know you dated some of my aunts.”

“That’s private. I shouldn’t say anything.”

“Come on, you can tell me. Please?”

I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. “This is serious and a big secret. It could hurt a lot of people. Promise me you’ll never tell anyone.”

She hooked my pinky finger with hers and solemnly replied, “Pinky swear. I promise. So what is it?”

“I didn’t just date some of your aunts. I dated all of them, and your mother too.”

She exclaimed, “You WHAT?”

“Not exactly dates with your Mom and Aunt Wendy, but I asked the rest of them out and dated them a while. It didn’t work out with any of them.”

“So, what happened? Why?”

“There was a big party when your Dad and Uncle Rodney announced they were engaged to your Mom and aunt Wendy. Nearly everybody from all three families were there.”