Chapter 72

Ladies and Gentlemen, 2024 is rapidly drawing to an end. As many would say, it’s been “interesting” for us. Not sure what 2025 will bring, but we can hope that it includes good things. Wednesday morning, I will be making calls to several states, coast to coast, to wish family and friends ‘happy’. Sweetie will be racking up several international calls, to the UK and OZ starting on Tuesday, due to time zones. Traveling to where she grew up is on my ‘bucket list’ for possibly 2026. (It should be interesting to see if wombats really DO poop in cubes! LOL.)

We want to take a moment to thank all of you who have contacted us, wished us well, and even added your own things for the report for others to enjoy and share a laugh. We offer our good wishes to you for a wonderful 2025 that brings you the goof things in life.

Happy New Year. OGD & Sweetie.

Silly Jokes for New Years

1. What is a New Year’s resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other.

2. What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve?
Chill out.

3. Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.

4. What do New Year’s Day parades have in common with Santa Claus?
No one is awake to see either of them.

5. My grandparents had resolutions like donating more time and money to charities. I’ve decided to make my own coffee once a week.

6. Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?
To ring in the New Year.

7. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolution.

8. What did the little champagne bottle call his father?
Pop!

9. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?
Moo Year’s Eve.

10. Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
Waiting for the punch line.

11. What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve?
Hogs and kisses.

12. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

13. What did the ghost say on Jan. 1?
Happy Boo Year!

14. What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve?
Social security.

15. What’s a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?
1080p.

16. This New Year’s, I’m going to make a resolution I can keep: no dieting all year long.

17. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby New Year!

18. Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?
Times Square.

19. Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
To start off the New Year in a cool way.

20. What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?
I haven’t seen you for a year!

21. This New Year’s, I’ve resolved to lead a better life. Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me.

22. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?
He got 12 months!

23. What is corn’s favorite holiday?
New Ears Day!

24. What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?
The New Year’s Eve cleanup crew.