The Privy Report
Copyright© 2022 by Old Grey Duck
Chapter 65
We will start off with a correction today. So, I received MANY (many-many-many-many-many) messages from folks to correct me that Bob Denver played Maynard G. Krebs in “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis.” Dwayne Hickman played Dobie Gillis. For a show that was off the air before a lot of us were born, I will guess that it was (and maybe still is) popular in syndication.
I will often say that if anyone has a good joke or pun or tidbit to share, I welcome all submissions. So, here are some of the things I have received;
From alphqwe: I have a bumper sticker that reads “HONK IF YOU THINK I’M SEXY!” then I sit at a green light until I feel happy about myself!
A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, ‘This is from the gentleman seated over there’ ... and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read: ‘For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants’.
After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded his note, handed it to the waiter and asked him to deliver it to the lady.
It read:
‘Just to let you know things aren’t always what they appear to be. I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages. I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami, and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana. And there is over twenty million dollars in my bank accounts and portfolio.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back.
Him:”Whats your body count?”
Her:”For what?”
Him:”Men you have slept with.”
Her:”Oh I thought you saw my basement.”
Him:” What?”
Her:”What?”
What? You don’t like my jokes
about ghosts having sex with owls?
Well Boo-Fucking-Hoo!!!
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