Chapter 45

As I have mentioned, Sweetie is from Australia. (and a special kind of “crazy” at times, but I love her for it.) We currently live in California, and at times I almost think it is another planet. I’m from the east coast and have lived (at one time or another) in New York, Virginia, Georgia and Florida. She works at a major medical facility, doing intake. I tease her that she is lucky that she never had to do her job in the American South because certain terms have drastically different meanings. When asked what I meant, I provided the following list of terms and definitions. (And as with many other “lists” that I post, feedback and additional information is always welcomed!)

Artery - The study of paintings.

Benign - What you be after eight.

Bacteria - Far end of the cafeteria.

Barium - What a doctor does to patients that die.

Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome.

Cauterize - Made eye contact with a girl.

Colic - A herding dog.

Medical Staff - Doctor’s cane.

Morbid - A bid higher than the one I placed at the auction.

Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.

Node - Information in my brain.

Coma - Punctuation Mark.

D & C - Nations Capitol.

Dilate - Lived a long time.

Enema - Not a friend.

Fester - Quicker than the other person.

Fibula - A small lie.

Genital - Non Jewish Person.

G.I. Series - Military Baseball Championship Games.

Hangnail - What you use to hang up a coat.

Impotent - Distingiished.

Labor -

Secretion - Hiding something.

Seizure - Roman Emperor.

Tablet - Small table.

Toilet - Small toy.

Terminal Illness - Git sick at the airport.

Tumor - More than one.

Urine - As opposed to being out.

Varicose - Nearby.