The Privy Report
Copyright© 2022 by Old Grey Duck
Chapter 36
I was doing my “Grandpa Duty” Friday night, baby-sitting the little ones. We watched a cute movie “The Secret Life of Pets”. I looked over at the dog and cat and got to thinking...
Dog Diary.
8:00 am. Dog food! My favorite thing!
9;30 am. Car ride! My favorite thing!
9:45 am. Running at the dog park! My favorite thing!
10:00 am. Tummy rubs! My favorite thing!
12:00pm. Home again and getting cookies! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm. Nap time! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm. Going for a walk! My favorite thing!
5:30 pm. Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:30 pm. Snuggle on sofa and watch tv with my person! My favorite thing!
9:00 pm. Another walk! My favorite thing!
10:00 pm. Bed time! My favorite thing!
Cat Diary.
Day 925 of captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I’m fed some sort of wet hash, or dry nuggests. Although I make my contempt for these offerings perfectly clear, I must eat something, and thus I reluctantly consume what is placed in the serving platters in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is the dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet where it is easily stepped in. Today I decapitated a mouse and left the headless body at their feet. I had hoped to strike fear into their hearts, as this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they made condescending comments about how I was a ‘good little hunter’ and disposed of it. BASTARDS!
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