Chapter 2

The following morning, Pri headed out to a park just before the second sunrise of Sinaraq Three. As a binary star system, the orange primary star arose on daybreak. The blue-purple hued second star arose as a smaller point of light about an hour later. This second sunrise was varied, as it depended on the smaller stars orbit in relation to its parent. In the height of summer on this world however, it arose and cast dark blue rays in the atmosphere for about an hour before the brightness of the day overtook the spectacle. A few others were up, heading to see the sight, or carrying out their daily business. Pri had much the same interactions with them as she had endured the day before. She passed a pair of Lakkasians with cordial interaction. Others however, always kept a careful eye or distance. She even caught sight of a pair of Praeminians as they saw her, then crossed the street to avoid passing her directly. Despite having endured months of this as she tried to settle into a new life in the wider League, those little cuts always left their mark.

Pri found a small park, overlooking a shallow bay on the coast. She saw a Terran male seated on a bench and slowed her pace, not sure if she wanted to be here. He was the only other one around for a bit of a distance, but to try to avoid him completely would mean getting close to others seated or standing nearby. As she took a seat on the next bench, she saw he was asleep, looking like he had a wild or rough night.

Did he come for this? Is he going to miss the sunrise? Should I awaken him?

She became worried he might get startled if a Sezar touched him but thought better of it.

“Hey,” She called over to him, without response.

She stood up and walked over to him, gently bumping his shoulder. “Qersa, was intent to catch spectacle of sunrise?” She saw him stir.

“Uh, ah, huh?” He sat up, rubbing his eyes and blinking away a heavy feeling in his eyelids. “Oh, hey Sezar.” He looked at her for a moment. “I fell asleep, didn’t I?”

“Correct.” Pri nodded.

“Ah, well, thanks for waking me up.” He sat himself up and reached for a pack of cigarettes. “Do you mind if I smoke?”

“Habit is foul but do as you must.”

“Heh, thanks.” He grinned. “a foul habit that offers a momentary respite. Nothing like a wild night to un-motivate the morning. Thought I’d catch the second rise. You too, I’d imagine?”

“Intent was the same.” Pri nodded.

“Well, it’s started. You want to sit down?” He shuffled over so she had ample room.

“You, accept my company?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I am...” She trailed off. Does he want me to say it out loud? Is this another cruel Terran game?

“I do accept. Please take a seat.” He said after seeing her pause and hesitation. “I’m Jack. My current uh, state is not one I make a habit of.” He rubbed his temples for a moment to chase away the dull headache. “I don’t even like alcohol, but, you know, sometimes...” He slid back in a relaxed position and closed his eyes for a moment.

“My name is Pri.” She said as she sat down. “You feel no discomfort at my presence?”

“Why would I? Because you’re reptilian?” He looked at her. “Has it been hard here?”

She nodded.

“People avoiding you because you’re reptilian? Sezar for that matter?”

She nodded again.

“There are some, well, many that have instincts in their biology that make them concerned around predator species. Don’t take the actions of prey species too hard. Other predator species, well, we seem to fuck around with each other as much as anyone. Don’t take this as any ill intent, but some of the actions of reptilians, mainly concerning emotions, are just ... hard for some to understand.”

“I do not intend harm,” Pri said. Yet I’m always seen as though I might bring harm.

“I get that.” Jack nodded. “It’s going to take time for some races, even though they know better.”

“I had a job interview yesterday.” Pri started, not knowing why. “They asked me to come to pub filled with herbivores. The looks cast upon me, the feeling I endured. It was all in jest, a cruel mockery of my physical form.” Why am I saying this? Why am I telling him this embarrassing situation, this humiliation I went through? He may seize upon it and...

“Yeah? Sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine what it must be like. I see the derogatory actions some take towards reptilians. I see the unintentional actions many prey species take that can’t be well received by reptilians either. Sometimes people don’t realize they cause offense, sometimes they revel in it.”

“Who would seek joy in such actions?” Pri asked, a bit disgusted at the thought.

“Some get taught it and carry it on. They can choose to be better, but that’s on them. Some get a perverse joy out of it for whatever-a-fuck reason. I hope their own personal hell is filled with the torment they like to see on others, visited back on them. Maybe it’s a cry for attention, but that’s not the way to do it. Some are just weak inside, too cowardly to stand tall and face their devils, so they enjoy seeing others experience pain and suffering. I think they feel better when they see someone else hurt. Those people, be it any race they come from, concern me.” Jack looked up at the blue rays in the sky. “There are better ways to handle ones ‘Shit’. Rather than passing the luc.”

Is there fault in desire to be seen as person? Does he really mean all of that? Pri looked at him so intently that it caught him a little off guard. Oh! Am I scaring him? Keep these emotions under control! That is the Sezar way, not this, not these tears...

“You uh, ok?” Jack looked at her with concern.

What? What do I say? Or do? Pri did her best to push her feelings down but it began to rock her core and she found herself welling in the eyes. She wanted to get up and walk away from this. Walk away or you’ll just embarrass yourself further...

“Hey. I can see something’s heavy on your mind. I see the pain in your face and the way you clench your teeth and hands.” Jack said, noting how she drew her feet up under the park bench. “I’ve known a few Sikarrans. Hell, I bled in the field of battle with an Antar. I know you’re taught to keep those emotions buried, flawed as I feel that notion is. However, to see you in this state, I feel it’s gotta be pretty significant to bring you to this.”

“You were a soldier?” Pri asked quickly, wiping away the moisture on her face.

“Yeah, Free Arteman Military.” Jack replied.

“There is a measure in your bearing that stood out as such.” Pri said. “You must understand loss?”

“Plenty so. Lost family, friends, even some random civvies I met for an afternoon. All hurts one and the same when you think back to whether you could have done things differently.”

“I was soldier aboard starship. Marine as you Terrans say. I lost friends, lost treasured loved one. Lost all of that, fighting to preserve this...” She gestured to the world around her. “ ... fought emmivaks so these people would never face fear of swarm or bio engineered monsters that come with it.”

Jack reached over and took one of her hands, seeing her look at him suddenly.

“It’s not for everyone we have bled.” He told her. “In the field, we do it for each other, so that those we love can live free of the danger of the foes we fight. If some kind, innocent, gentle, well-meaning folk are safe, well that ain’t half bad either. We do it for them too.” He felt her take hold of his hand, surprising him a little.

“Do you experience...” Pri paused. Is it right to ask him this? Is he going to use this against me? Am I always going to be suspicious of everyone like this?

“Sleepless nights?” He saw her nod. “Moments of situational fuckery?”

“Is that...”

“Where you think you’re back in the middle of it?” Jack clarified and saw her nod.

“How do you cope?” Pri asked. “Sikarrans are taught to embrace it as honorable memory. There are nights I hide like coward in closet, fearing an attack.”

“It’s not cowardly, Pri.” Jack told her. “None of us were trained to deal with what comes after a war. Those memories we live through in vivid detail. I was intentionally vague about my... ‘wild night’. “ Jack was silent for a moment. “I had a bad run of memories last night. There was this gulley my platoon was caught in, trapped on both sides by armor. We had nothing to hit them with and our air power had been turned back by enemy interception. Those fuckers hammered that gulley relentlessly. When I hear drums, sometimes...” He leaned back and wiped his face. “ ... It’s so fucked how it can come outta nowhere, yeah?”

“It is.” Pri nodded.

“Hey, let’s focus on the second rise,” Jack gave her hand a quick squeeze, feeling her squeeze back receptively. “I don’t want to miss out on this, thinking of all that.”

“Agreed.” Pri nodded.

“You a painter?” Jack asked as he looked over her hand.

“What causes accuracy in guess?” Pri raised a brow.

“You have light patches on the skin of your hands here. You wash with a bit of paint thinner, don’t you?”

“I...” Pri looked over her hand. “ ... good observation.”

“I know a person or two in a similar boat. One is a Praeminian. He’s got ghostly white hands. I keep telling him there’s safer cleaner, or to wear gloves. He says it just ‘doesn’t feel right, you can’t feel the brush strokes right with a glove’.”

“I lean towards agreement.” Pri smiled, faintly.

“What do you paint?”

“Landscape, or spatial phenomenon.”

“Oh? Nice. That’s good to hear.”

“Do you see as odd that Sezar chooses to paint and draw?” Pri asked Jack, seemingly a little worried.

“Not at all,” Jack shook his head. “That is what the League should be, should promote. Anyone can change their cultural standard and choose to live and pursue the things they enjoy. There’s no call to be worried about how I’d judge you. I think it’s kinda cool myself, but I get told I’m too easily interested in other races.” Jack shrugged.

“What brings that accusation to mind?”

“My parents were in cultural exchange, like aides to outreach programs. Worked a lot with other cultures, other races. Guess some of that passed down the lineage.” Jack said.

“Were?”

“Yeah,” Jack looked at the ground for a moment. “War takes a lot from you...”

“Apologies.” Pri reached over with her other hand and covered his.

“It’s really fucked. Each passing year I find it harder to see them in my mind. Sometimes, I must look at a photo just to get a clear image. My former fiancée is the same, was the same. She died early in the war. Died while I was half a world away when a second front opened. I find her so faded in memory now, it’s shameful. Still hear all their voices though, like yesterday.”

“I draw to remember,” Pri said. “I draw from memory to maintain such visage. Is that not odd in own right?”

“No,” Jack shook his head, giving her an understanding smile.

“Gratitude, Jack, for talking.” Pri said as she looked at him. “Most flee from me, or show concern I will bring harm. You came head on, no fear or degradation. No remarks. The appreciation for that knows no limits.” Are you genuine? I feel you are, but I just, I always doubt...

“Just stand tall.” Jack gave her a wink. “If it gets bad, you can reach out. I have a line of people who offer support in these situations, for veterans that can’t find the right help. You will find a variety of species there, many Sikarrans whom you can speak with. Don’t go to the League Service Affairs. They’re so ground down in bureaucratic shit you’ll never get the help you need, even if most of them mean to help. You must go to private support groups or find others that share your burden. Together we can get through the storms.”

“I would prefer that.” Pri pulled out her commpad so they could exchange information.

“What was your job for?” Jack asked as they stood up.

“That ... was for medical aboard voidship.” Pri answered.

“Oh? Really? Hmm,” Jack tapped his commpad a couple of times. “Are you still looking?”

“I ... am?” Pri nodded. “Do you have information of a crew looking for medical?”

“One moment.” Jack tapped a call button and waited.

“Hey, Captain?” He said. “Yeah, sorry to bother you on your spa trip there ... still, hate to call when you’re trying to get some downtime, sleepin’ in and drooling on the pillow and whatnot, but that aside ... Oh? I’m an asshole for that?...” Jack saw Pri suddenly look at him with concern. “Uh, hey, one sec, ok...” He spoke to Pri. “It’s just a joke Pri. We joke around a fair bit.”

She nodded after a moment.

“Hey Cap ... Yeah I’m back ... uh ... yeah, was gonna take your ship and run but I had to think about it ... Oh? ... well fuck, I don’t want a ship before it’s completed its housekeeping maintenance ... Yeah, ok well, was Doc Lyttie still looking for assistance in the medical center? ... Yeah? Ok, what if I said I might have a candidate? ... Yeah? ... Well, it seems she is on her way to the employment hall ... One sec...” He looked at Pri. “What level is your certification?”

“Oh, what? I, are you?” Pri scratched the feathers on the back of her head. “Apologies, I hold third level.”

“She has level three ... yeah ... ok, thanks and see you at lunch, bye.” Jack disconnected. “So, if you want, I’m meeting my Captain for lunch. She said you can join and bring your credentials if you’re interested.”