Chapter 11: The Goblin’s Apprentice

Our escape plan ran into some complications. The government got wind of the smuggling operation, and I was arrested. In times of martial law, any crime committed was seen as treason, and was punishable by death. As I awaited sentence, my wife and children were inconsolable. I had failed them. There is no greater pain for a father than the feeling that he has let his family down. I was just a simple man of simple means. I worked my whole life to provide a comfortable living for my loved ones, and it would seem that my fate would be to die just for wanting to protect them. I guess it’s true what my father used to say. Family values are dead.

“I can hardly stand the notion that you humans actually devour this pig slop. It’s unnatural,” grumbled Thisimius with a full mouth while stuffing more rations from the Mecha-Titan into his huge mouth, a mouth that was large enough to swallow Ryan’s head.

“You seem to be enjoying it pretty well, though,” mumbled Ryan as Thisy took the last of the crackers, Ryan’s favorite snack. “I hope those carbs give you heartburn.”

“What was that, lad?” asked Thisimius, eyeing Ryan suspiciously.

“I said we gave our spill, now it’s your turn. What are you doing here, Thisy?”

Thisimius, the massive half-naked Ogre scratched the hairy stubble on his chin as he thought the question over. “Well, it’s a long story, lad. It all started many years ago, ya ken. Me mum was a swamp dweller on the Ogre homeworld of Morval III. Me pop was a slug wrestler who spent his days grabbing giant earth slugs by their slimy necks and then squeezing ‘em until they popped like giant, ugly pimples!

“And let me tell ye, nothing tastes better than slug guts, especially right after they’ve been freshly squeezed. Oh, aye! Those were the days, laddie. Ogre men didn’t have to apologize for being Ogre men. They didn’t have to apologize for smelling bad or eating too much. They didn’t have to apologize for leaving their soiled garments on the floor, or on the ceilings and walls too. They were free to be what they were born to be ... disgusting, mud-loving, snot-throwing creatures of nature.

“Aye, it was a lot less civilized in me pop’s time. Everything would’ve gone perfectly, except for one problem, he met me mum. She had baggy hips, armpits that sagged and smelled like half-eaten fish heads. Her lips were puffy and stained with filth. Her teeth were yellow, and there might’ve been a few leeches living between those choppers.

“Plus, she had a beard even more magnificent than me old man himself. So as you can imagine, it was love at first sight. Me pop wooed her with his strength, and his massive belch turned into a love song. And then I was born, and shortly after that, the government declared that Ogres were to enter civilized society, and I’ve been stuck living a half-life ever since.”

Thisimius rubbed a tear from his eye as he reminisced. “Oh, I still remember glorious tales from pop’s youth, back in that magical age where a male Ogre was free to urinate in any spot of his choosing. So, as you can imagine, I’m a little too old fashion for the young lady Ogres these days, so I’ve spent most of me life being single. A lonely bachelor with no woman to share a sludge pit with.”

Thisimius spoke with such emotion and sorrow that Ryan didn’t have the stomach to interrupt him. Come to think of it, after hearing some of the sordid details of the way Ogres spent their days, Ryan didn’t think he’d have the stomach for much of anything. He didn’t know whether he should be laughing his guts out or hurling his guts out. Either way, his guts were probably going to fly.

“That’s nice, Thisy,” said Leon, obviously not as entertained as Ryan. “But I think what Ryan meant was-”

“Come to think of it, that’s not entirely true,” continued Thisy, clearly ignoring Leon. “I did have a few lady friends when I was a wee lad in puberty, and my acne boiled bright as day. They thought that my unusually large pimples were rather fetching in a certain light.

“However, that was before they discovered my other abnormality. They came for the zits but left for the warts. I kept trying to explain to ‘em that it was just a natural family trait and not another head on me backside, but when it started moving occasionally, they didna believe me.”

“THISIMIUS, PLEASE! YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME VOMIT!” screamed Tork, covering his ears and turning a slight shade of green himself.

Ryan patted the retching Dragon on the back, and said, “Just tell us why you’re here and how you found us?”

“Ah, I’m just teasing you, lads,” said Thisimius, punching Ryan in the stomach playfully, but still with enough power to force him to his knees clutching his midsection. “Can’t an ol’ Ogre have a wee bit of fun once in a while? Well, anyhow, enough of us wagging our tongues. Let’s get down to business. How’d I find ya?

“Well, I knew ye be heading to Gregory Industries, and that your point of origin was the Ministry of Fire, so I headed that way meself and hoped I’d bump into ye. It wasn’t easy shaking them Water Elementals, but luckily, I brought a few spare droids with me and they led them off me trail.

“Just when I was starting to give up hope of ever finding ye, I see this explosion out in the square, and it reminded me of the time young Ryan Uruks blew up me shop ... And me tools ... And me slugs ... And me sludge pit.” Thisimius trailed off, staring out over the horizon solemnly. He looked like he might start crying, either that or have a bad case of gas. With an Ogre, it could go either way.

“Have I mentioned recently how very sorry I am about that, Thisy,” apologized Ryan, still feeling a little guilty about what happened. “But the Ministry did rebuild your shop, and gave you new tools, new slugs, and a new sludge pit. And they said that it would eventually come out of my pocket once I started making a living.” This last part Ryan said with great regret.

“Oh, aye,” said Thisimius, brightening up a bit. “That does make me feel a spot better, lad.”

Which part? Ryan almost said out loud.

“Now, as I was saying,” began Thisimius once again, continuing the story. “I saw this explosion that reminded me of Ryan, what with the boy always blowing things up and all. I follow it and I come across Tork on the outskirts of the battle preparing for an ambush. But I also noticed the enemies had set up some spike mines to protect their backside.

“They’re particularly effective against air-born targets like Dragons. I helped design those buggers, so I can recognize their make when I see ‘em. They look like little sinkholes in the ground, but Tork was too focused on the enemy to notice. I rush up to him and tell him of the trap. Then, I call one of me droids,” said Thisimius as he gestured to the still form of the Tork look-alike.

“This droid has the unique function of holographic replication. It can only transform once, but it’s very convincing when it does. Once the baddies thought they had Tork pushing up daisies, they became overconfident. Then Tork and I blindsided the bastards, trapping them between us and Leon, Rachel, and Grafael in a pincher formation.

“They didn’t stand a chance. And then I see Ryan staring at the fallen form of a fair Goblin lass, and he asks me what I’m doing there. And then I waltz meself over to the wreckage of the Mecha-Titan to look for emergency rations, for I was very hungry. And then-”

“Thank you, Thisy,” gasped Leon. “I think we can fill in the blanks from there, but that still doesn’t explain why you’re here?!”

“Well, that should be obvious, you bloomin’ idjit,” said Thisimius pointing at Leon, and then at himself with his thumb. “I’m here to help.”

“But why?” asked Leon, growing exasperated. “Why would you go against the orders of the Minister herself and try to help us? If you know what we mean to do, why risk your life on something that will likely turn out to be a wild goose chase?”

Thisimius looked up as if checking with someone for permission to speak. He glanced to his right and his left while shuffling his feet nervously.

“Okay, look. I can’t really explain meself, lad. When I heard what ye were doing, I just got this notion, like a dream, and it was telling me that I needed to come and help ya.”

Some of the things he described started sounding familiar to Ryan. “Was it an old guy that came to you in your dream? An old hobo-looking dude with a white dog.”

If an Ogre could turn pale from fright, Thisimius would’ve been the first. “How could ye possibly ken that?”

“Educated guess.”

Thisimius took a large step towards Ryan. “Do you have any idea who this old man is and what his coming represents?”

“You tell me?” asked Ryan, unflinching beneath the gaze of the seven-foot-tall and four-foot-wide Ogre.

Thisimius seemed to consider Ryan for a moment before turning to Leon with a frown. “Well, anyhow, I can be of great service to yer company. Me an’ me boys, that is.”

Thisimius put his fingers to his mouth and a high-pitched whistle pierced the air. Suddenly, a small ship de-cloaked right next to them. Ryan gave a yelp of surprise and tripped over himself. The ship was spherical in shape with solar wings like horns on either side and slimy green material covering it.

Judging from the slime and the smell, Ryan guessed that it was a traditional Ogre vessel. A hatch at the bottom of the vessel opened, and more than a dozen small spherical silver droids flew out the portal, all of them armed with all manner of tools.

“Luckily, I brought me pit crew with me, so fixing this hunk of junk won’t be a problem.”

The ball-shaped droids twitched and buzzed excitedly around the smoking heap of the Lioness as if there was no greater purpose than fixing things.

“I can take a look at her and get her up and running in no time. Something tells me that you’re going to need all the help ya can get. Y’all go on ahead and scout out Gregory Industries. I’ll be joining ye shortly with the Lioness. I may even have time to put in a few improvements while I’m at it.”

The droids buzzed in agreement.

Leon started pacing in deep thought with his hands behind his back. Ryan had no idea what he could be hesitating about since it seemed like a good deal to him.

Maybe he’s just trying to look cool. I should take lessons!

Leon turned back to Thisimius, and said, “Can you take care of Kavic while we’re gone?”

“The bureaucrat?”

“Yes. Where we’re going, it will be too dangerous for civilians. I can’t rescue Éclair and worry about protecting him at the same time. He has proven to be a vital ally to us, and so we must extend to him the same courtesy. While you’re repairing the Mecha-Titan, keep him with you and protect him as best you can, and then meet us at Gregory Industries for extraction.”

The Ogre sighed. “Aye, I can do that, laddie. And I’ll have this bucket of bolts fixed within a day’s time,” continued Thisimius, turning towards the mansion-sized wreckage of the Mecha-Titan. “You have until then to get to Gregory Industries and come up with a plan to save the bonnie lass. With the war going on, you can imagine why I don’t want to stick around too long.”

“Just take good care of her while we’re gone,” said Ryan, patting the junk pile affectionately. “We’ve been through a lot with this old girl. Plus, Auntie Hannah would kill me if she found out I destroyed her ride from her old rebellion days.”

Thisimius smiled, as if he appreciated the sentimental value attached to inanimate objects. But then he was a blacksmith after all ... loving machines was part of his vocation. “Don’t ye worry, lad. The Lioness will hunt again, that I promise ya.”

As they walked away from the wreckage, Thisimius noticed the tied-up form of the Goblin girl being guarded by Grafael. Fortunately, they had found some ripped gray garments nearby to clothe her with. She remained unconscious, but Leon said that her wounds weren’t life-threatening and that she would soon wake up.

Why is it that Leon seems to know everything? Or maybe he just acts like he knows everything when he’s really just taking wild guesses at everything ... like what I do sometimes.

As Ryan considered the question of Leon’s omnipotence, Thisimius pointed at the Goblin girl, and said, “Ya want me to take that one off your hands, too? I’ve met a few Goblin Assassins in me time. They’re a right nasty lot, and as you already know, quite lethal, what with that enhanced shapeshifting ability of theirs. They be the most deadly Shifters around. I could just sit on her and be done with it. That way, ya aren’t havin’ to look over your shoulder to check and see if there’s a dagger buried inside.”

Leon shook his head. “She could be a valuable hostage and maybe a source of intel. I think we’ll keep her with us for the time being. If she gives us any trouble, I’ll kill her myself.”

“Wait a minute,” protested Ryan. “Are you really going to kill her? I mean, I know she’s the enemy and all, but just look at her. She’s a girl ... not much older than Éclair. Maybe there’s more to her than just being another enemy.”

Leon groaned as if discussing a painful topic. “That’s your problem, Uruks. You empathize too much, with both your allies and your enemies. And it’s exactly empathy like that which gets stupid Elementals like you killed ... plus, those around you too.”

If his words alone weren’t enough to get on Ryan’s nerves, his superior tone certainly did the job. “Mind running that by me again?”

“It means that you hesitate when you should act ... you get distracted when you should be focused,” said Leon, starting to sound an awful lot like Eramar. “I saw what happened, Ryan. When you thought Tork was dead, you went to pieces, and if I hadn’t been there to bail you out, you would’ve been in pieces ... literally.”

“I didn’t ask for your help, you know,” huffed Ryan, knowing full well how stupid he sounded, but too angry to care. “I had things handled.”

“It looked more like you had given up to me,” Leon retorted coldly while advancing aggressively. “It looked like when you saw Tork’s dead body, or at least an illusion of his dead body, you lost your will to fight. You gave your opponent an opening, and if I hadn’t intervened, she would have taken it.”

Ryan knew that Leon was right, but he would rather drink acid than admit so. “It just surprised me, that’s all. I thought Tork was dead, and I was in shock. I still came out alright in the end, so what does it really matter?”

“Wake up, brat! We aren’t part of the peace corps! We are Elementals! That means that we fight the battles that no one else wants to! We shed our blood so that everyone else can live their perfect little lives in their perfect little worlds!”

Leon’s sudden intensity made Ryan back up.

Leon took another step forward, his voice becoming low and dangerous. “You know what that means? It means that people are going to die. A lot of them will be people you know. Friends. Allies. Comrades. Brothers in arms. Most likely, if you live long enough, everyone who ever meant a damn to you is going to die ... very violently too. What are you going to do then? Freeze up like before. Get yourself killed too because you can’t take the heat.

“This is what you signed up for. This is what it means to be one of us. You don’t sympathize with the enemy, and you don’t break down when bad things happen. You do what needs to be done, and then you do it over and over and over again. If you can’t handle that, then perhaps you chose the wrong vocation.”

For a moment Ryan felt too stunned to speak. Leon’s words held such bitterness ... such contempt that Ryan felt dead inside. He started to question everything he believed in up to that point. He questioned his resolve, his dream to be an Elemental like his father, even the promise he made to Hannah Lioness.

He started to think that even if he became a successful Elemental one day, like Leon or Eramar, would it really be worth it? Or would he become bitter and empty inside ... alone with the knowledge that everyone he held dear was gone? Then, slowly, Ryan remembered why he became an Elemental in the first place, and he knew how to answer Leon.

Turning to face Leon, who seemed to be waiting for an answer, Ryan said, “I know you think me inferior. Hell, I’ll be the first to tell you that I am inferior to you in many ways. But that’s exactly why I want to become an Elemental. Contrary to your belief, you’re not the only one who’s been through some shit. I may not know exactly what it was, but I can tell from the look in your eyes that it’s there, and it haunts you.