Chapter 9: The North Star

We’ve hit another small snag today. It happened when the test subjects began reproducing and their population had an unprecedented boost. I created a few of them with a limited capacity to reproduce on their own. Interestingly, it seems their rate of reproduction is dependent on how many hosts they have infected. Still, I engineered a failsafe in their genetic makeup so their offspring’s population never exceeded the safety parameters, so that wasn’t the issue.

After piling the supplies near the ship, Ryan sat in the pit with Sticky in his lap trying desperately not to think of the fact that the most gorgeous girl currently living was bathing a little distance away from him.

“She really looked embarrassed, Sticky,” said Ryan, resuming his sad conversations with the inanimate object. “You think she thinks I’m hot?”

“Well, maybe more freakish than hot,” said Sticky in his mafia voice. “I mean, let’s face it, kid, you’re seventeen years old and you look like a golden Arnold Schwarzenegger ... though slightly shorter.”

“But that’s a good thing, right?” asked Ryan.

“Hard to say. Who knows what goes through a dame’s head? Maybe she’s into that sort of thing. But then again, maybe she’s into less freakishly muscular frames, like that Leon guy. I mean, she is still dating that dirtbag.”

“I guess,” admitted Ryan, feeling depressed again. “Normal guys don’t have golden scales covering their bodies. Maybe she does think that I’m some kind of freak.”

“Ah, don’t think too much on it, kid,” encouraged Sticky, brought to life by Ryan’s imagination. “Just focus on getting that broad back home safely, and then we can focus on more important things. Like, I don’t know, the fact that we can be as powerful as a guy who nuked an army of freakin’ Parasites! Got bigger fish to fry, kiddo. Time to get back to your roots and plot your revenge against that gothic-looking jerk that offed your family.”

“But is revenge really more important than Éclair?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s more important or not,” answered Sticky coldly. “All that matters is your chickypoo’s choice. And I’m sorry to say, but she didn’t choose you, pal.”

“But it’s not like she’s married to the guy,” reasoned Ryan. “Judging by the way she was acting, I doubt they’ve even kissed that much.”

“You’re a sick, twisted little bastard. You know that, right?”

“Beside the point. Look, all I’m saying is that we’ve really grown close over the past few months. She’s never spent this much time with Leon. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

“You may have a point there, bucko,” conceded the doll hesitantly, its wooden face looking decidedly pensive. “I guess it could come down to how big of a douchebag you’re willing to be.”

“What are you saying?” asked Ryan despite knowing the answer since he was the one who came up with both the question and the answer.

“I mean, are you the type of guy who can straight up steal another guy’s girl? And not just any guy, but a guy that you actually kinda consider your friend. You even roommate with him, for Mike’s sake!”

“Well,” started Ryan with a shrug, at a loss for words against his slightly more intelligent alter ego. “I mean, ‘friend’ may be a strong word.”

“You two had a secret handshake at one point,” countered Sticky in a dead voice. “And a stupid one at that.”

“Alright, fine! So maybe I am a douchebag!” growled Ryan, shaking the stick figure slightly. “But there’s no way that Leon could love Éclair as much as I do!”

“Debatable,” said Sticky. “Complicated guys like him don’t show their feelings too well, but that don’t mean they ain’t there. He may seem tough to you, but if you steal Éclair away from him, it could break his dark little emo heart.”

“Omigosh! Will you just stop guilt-tripping me? I’ve been in love with Éclair since I was a little kid, and all of the sudden this glasses-wearing jock comes in and sweeps her off her feet! How do you expect me to just accept that?!”

“It don’t matter if you accept it. Like I said, all that matters is what she wants, and until that girlie says otherwise, you’ve gotta respect her choice.”

“God, I hate it when you’re right,” growled Ryan, gripping the wooden doll tightly and lowering his head in defeat. “It sucks ... more than most anything I’ve had to endure, but it is Éclair’s choice. I have to be a gentleman about this. I shouldn’t pressure Éclair into doing something she doesn’t want to. If she’s happy with Leon, then I guess I’m going to have to ... learn to accept it.”

“It won’t happen right away, kid,” said Sticky. “But you may not have a choice here.”

“But it’s just so hard,” groaned Ryan. “When I’m around her, I feel so terrified and wonderful at the same time. I want to tell her everything I’ve ever felt for her, but I don’t want to ruin what we have now! I feel like I’m being torn apart here! If this is love, then it sucks balls!!!”

Ryan raised Sticky’s little stick arm and made it pat his head reassuringly. “Love was never going to be easy, so best just forget about it. Focus on revenge instead. It’s more attainable.”

“You may be right,” said Ryan with a sigh. “But if I do focus on revenge instead, then maybe Éclair is right if she thinks of me as some kind of monster. Maybe that’s really all I am.”

“Hey, let’s be honest, kid,” said Sticky, his voice going lower. Sticky’s voice suddenly resembled the Dark Creature as he spoke. “Sometimes it’s easier to just be a monster.”

Ryan was so startled by Sticky’s changed voice that he dropped the doll and stared at it forebodingly.

As he continued to stare, he hardly noticed Éclair walking up behind to place a hand gently on his shoulder. She wore the clothes Zand had set out for her, a plain gray shirt and pants along with some gray shoes. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Ryan, trying not to sound as frightened as he felt. “FYI, I think it’s best to leave Sticky here. Let’s face it, I need to move on.”

Éclair chuckled. “Well, I think that’s very mature of you.”

As Éclair started towards the ship, Ryan took her by the hand. When she turned to face him, he quickly let her go, feeling ashamed of touching her in that moment.

“What is it, Ryan?”

Instead of responding, Ryan lowered his head in guilt, rubbing his hands fitfully.

Éclair then knelt next to Ryan and took his hand gently into her own. “Ryan, tell me what’s wrong. You know you can talk to me.”

“Éclair. I...” started Ryan. He wanted to tell Éclair of the vision that Grafael had shared with him. But instead, he asked, “Are you afraid of me?”

Éclair blinked in surprise at Ryan’s question.

“I mean, when you look at me ... do you see a boy, or a creature? The things I can do, the things I’m supposed to do, even the way I look. Does it scare you at all? Please be honest with me. Don’t just say what you think I want to hear.”

Éclair remained silent for a long time, and he just could not bring himself to face her. Still holding his hand and caressing it gently, Éclair spoke in a kind voice. “I’ll do as you ask and be honest, Ryan. Some of the things you can do, it is alarming. I’ve seen you accomplish things that I can scarcely even imagine. Feats of strength and power that I would consider impossible for most, even the more stalwart of Elementals. Some of the things you can do ... I once thought that only my godfather could accomplish such feats.”

Ryan felt his heart sink as Éclair more or less confirmed his greatest fear.

Then Éclair put her finger under his chin and brought him up to face her. “But when I’m around you, it’s not fear that I feel. If anything, it’s the opposite of fear. Ryan, I don’t know why you haven’t figured this out yet, but you embody courage itself. And that courage is a contagious thing; it spreads to everyone around you. It helped me feel brave in a situation where I would feel nothing but terror otherwise. Even when we were down there in the pit ... when I thought we were going to die. It was terrifying, yes, but I was strangely comforted because I didn’t have to face death alone. You were there for me. I’ve never known anyone who could make me feel courage while at the gates of hell itself. That’s true even now, with all the colossal problems that we have to deal with, I feel stupidly optimistic. Because when we’re together, things just seem to work themselves out.”

Ryan drew in his breath, his love for Eclair growing with every second, as well as the pain at not being able to express that love.

Éclair then looked away from Ryan and seemed to blush slightly. “And, as far as your looks go ... you really don’t ... I mean, you really are...” She cleared her throat uncomfortably as she said in a quiet voice, “Quite handsome, actually.”

Ryan just stared at Éclair with his mouth slightly ajar at the compliment.

“Oh, do shut up,” said Éclair as she got up suddenly and dusted herself off. “Now, if it’s not too much trouble, let’s get going. You were right in what you said earlier. If we had not found that waterfall, I doubt I would have survived the journey with you. I mean, let’s be honest. You smell bad even when you do shower.”

“I do not,” said Ryan self-consciously, taking a whiff of his armpit while Éclair’s back was turned. “Anyway, you do know how to pilot this giant snowflake, right?”

So, we’re just going to pretend that you didn’t basically say that you think I’m hot? Alright, if that’s how you wanna play it. But I am so juicing this for what it’s worth when we get back!

“Oh, please,” scoffed Éclair. “Zand let me fly her when I was a toddler, and I’ve spent the last hour getting reacquainted. This will be cake compared to what we’ve been through up until now.”

Ryan felt uncertain as he eyed the craft suspiciously. “Just so we’re clear, this thing isn’t going to melt if we get close to a sun, right?”

“Of course not,” answered Éclair, seeming defensive. “My godfather built the North Star himself partially for my protection. He may have used ice as the base, but the ship is also bonded to an alloy forged from Sun Gems to allow for maximum stability. Plus, the shielding system on this girl is state-of-the-art, harvested from the abilities of powerful barrier Psionic Users. We’ll be fine, Dragon Boy.”

Éclair leapt gracefully into the vessel as the porthole appeared on the side. There was no hatch; an opening just appeared at the side of the ship like a membrane, or an eyelid. The seemingly organic nature of the craft made Ryan feel even more uneasy as he waited out of the ice-covered ship.

From inside the ship, Éclair flicked a few buttons on the wall, and a beam of white energy engulfed all the fruits and vegetables that Ryan piled near the vessel. The supplies vanished, and Ryan assumed they had been beamed inside somehow.

“That should be enough supplies to last us, but just in case, North Star is equipped with a synthesizer,” said Éclair as she analyzed some blue-glowing holographic data which confirmed Ryan’s theory. “We can use the organic components as a baseline to replicate more if need be, so we shouldn’t have to worry about food so long as we have enough energy to generate more. Still, I’d prefer to use the synthesizer as little as possible to conserve energy.”

Éclair took notice of Ryan’s reluctance to board, and stared down at him incredulously, a wry smile spreading across her face as she snorted in a slight giggle. “Don’t tell me that Ryan Uruks, fearless fighter of Parasites and monsters, is afraid of taking a little space trip with me?”

“See, that’s the thing,” called up Ryan. “Parasites and monsters, I can handle, because at least I can punch those things. But how the heck am I supposed to punch space if this ship dissolves midway?”

Éclair actually seemed a little offended now, but she wasn’t the only one as the ship shuddered slightly. Then several icicles and stalactites grew out of the sides like spikes, angling towards Ryan threateningly.

Ryan backed away in surprise as several sharp shards of ice moved towards his face. “Éclair,” he started, sounding much calmer than he felt. “Although it should be pretty obvious by now, I should let you know that I think your ship wants to kill me.”

“Well, you did just insult her,” said Éclair without looking at Ryan as she examined her nails leisurely. “Twice actually, and after she agreed to take you on despite you being unfamiliar to her.”

“Uh-huh,” said Ryan, staring down at a nasty-looking ice spike that leveled itself towards his eye inches away. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that you have a sentient spaceship. It’s you, after all, so it only makes sense. Any advice on how to smooth things over?”

“Hmm,” mumbled Éclair idly, clearly enjoying Ryan’s discomfort. “I don’t know. What’s usually the best response when you say something stupid to a lady?”

“Oh, ha ha,” said Ryan sarcastically, though immediately regretting it as more spikes angled at his belly.

There are better ways of doing a practical joke, thought Ryan.

Thinking of no other alternative, Ryan decided to apologize to a ship. “Mister, or madam -”

“She is a girl ship, clearly,” interrupted Éclair softly.

“Miss, or missus ... vessel,” continued Ryan, trying not to dwell on the fact that this was the most ridiculous thing he had ever done. Considering his lifestyle, that said a lot. “Who is known as...” He gave Éclair a meaningful glance, silently asking for aid.

“North Star,” said Éclair sweetly.

“North Star,” repeated Ryan, raising his hands and falling to his knees, not sure of how to go about apologizing to a spacecraft, but deciding just to say the first things that popped into his head. “Allow me to extend my deepest apologies for insulting you earlier. It was rude and uncalled for. I was being immature, and I am sorry. If you could, forgive this crude brute for his oafish behavior.”

Good thing I’ve spent so much time with Éclair lately. She must’ve called me that a hundred times over these past few months.