Chapter 11: Priestess of Light

I did not know it yet, but we were coming close to the end of our journey. After hundreds of years of traveling throughout the stars, humanity had finally come to the edge of the known universe. We crossed the great threshold and left the Milky Way Galaxy behind forever. All my life, I had always been taught that as thinking, rational beings, it is our sacred duty for the duration of our time in this realm to seek the absolute truth in all matters of life. But what I was about to find out is that some truths are more difficult to accept than others.

Ryan found Hannah Lioness haughtily packing her things into a floating vacuum suitcase. She looked angry. Not the regular kind of angry, but the scary kind, and there was a difference as far as Hannah Lioness was concerned. Before Ryan had the chance to speak to her, she brought out a damp washcloth and dabbed his bloodied face rather forcefully.

“You’re a bloody mess, kid,” said Hannah fiercely.

The mysterious woman continued washing Ryan’s face, and not too gently at that. Then she called a service droid to bring her some medicinal liquid. She studied his face for a moment, and then without warning, applied the liquid to his cuts.

For Ryan, it felt like being on fire again, only this time it hurt. “OWIE! What is that stuff? Liquid evil!” Even though he didn’t say it, Ryan felt very grateful that Hannah showed concern for him, kind of like a real mother.

Hannah said nothing until she finished cleaning the cuts, and then she grabbed some bandages. “You’re lucky, kid. From the beating that Shaver was giving you, it could’ve been worse ... a lot worse. I don’t think we’ll need stitches, but we’ll have to keep these bandages on for a little while. Fortunately, you have a face as tough as an iron rhino, and a brain just as dull too.”

Ryan scowled at her jibe, but it made him happy too. Maybe the fact that she felt comfortable enough around him to insult him meant that he might get answers out of her. “Yeah, well ... thanks ... I think.”

He then swallowed hard, looking down at his feet as he remembered something almost too shameful to recall. “I’m sorry I left you when I did. You know ... when you were coughing up blood again. I can’t tell you how ashamed I am at myself for...” He cut off as his voice broke, and he realized that he might break down and cry.

Hannah gently cupped his chin to face her and gave him a kindly smile. “You have nothing to be sorry about. This condition is my burden to deal with, not yours. It hasn’t killed me yet, so I suppose the Caretaker still has some use for these old bones.”

She chuckled slightly to herself, no longer looking at him. “I’m just glad I looked out my window when I did before something really bad happened to you. People have always told me I’m paranoid for keeping a jetpack handy, but I’ve never been comfortable staying in a place this high up without a backup plan. It seems everything these days has to be built so blasted high.”

Ryan smiled inwardly. After what I went through with Éclair on that cliff, I don’t blame you.

Hannah then frowned as if remembering something upsetting. “Which reminds me of what I needed to tell you. That was a very reckless thing you did, young man. You almost got yourself killed, or worse,” she said in a lecturing voice.

Ryan opened his mouth to retort, but the soft tone of her voice gave him pause.

“However, if you hadn’t done it, I would surely be dead right now. Seeing a young buck like you fight tooth and nail just to save an old crow like me ... well, it made me feel like even my life was still worth something. Thank you.” Hannah paused as if considering something else that she neglected to mention. “However, I don’t want you doing it again. You’ve got better things to do with your life than to waste it on an old sinner like me. Keep that in mind the next time you have suicidal impulses!”

Her voice sounded so biting that Ryan flinched slightly at the rebuff. It perplexed Ryan how Hannah talked the way she did sometimes, like she was old enough to be his grandmother when she couldn’t be much older than thirty.

Quickly stifling his curiosity about her age, Ryan decided to press her about more important matters. “Do you know anything about the people who are after me? The ones who planted that blue gas in Shaver’s vault, the ones who sent those assassins to capture me. No more stalling, I want the truth, Auntie Hannah.”

Although Ryan hadn’t said it, he suspected that the people behind this plot were connected to what happened to his family five years ago. Maybe now, I’ll finally get some answers, and find out the name of that person ... no ... that monster who destroyed my home and my family.

Hannah sighed almost painfully, but before she could speak, another spell of coughing overtook her, and she collapsed. Ryan tried to help her, but she swatted his hand away, insisting that she rise on her own strength. As Ryan met her eyes, he perceived deep resolution, as if she’d just come to a difficult decision.

“Alright, Ryan. I’ll tell you what you want to know ... or at least I’ll tell you what I know. As for those men who supplied Shaver with the strangling gas and the bounty hunters, I believe that the parties responsible are certain individuals within the Tarrus Government that see the Elementals as a threat; particularly, Elementals like you.”

Ryan was stunned. The very Empire that he’d been raised in his entire life plotted to kill him. Why?! But Ryan knew why. Even though Hannah hadn’t said specifically what she meant by ‘Elementals like you,’ Ryan knew that she referred to his alien heritage. Half-breeds had always been hated above all others ... and feared above all others for their, at times, unpredictable nature.

Before he started leaping to conclusions, Ryan wanted a little clarification. “But I thought that the Elementals ruled the Empire?”

Hannah scowled at Ryan as if he just said something stupid. “Leave it to Richard to raise his kid in the country and not even teach him anything relevant. Of course the Ministries don’t rule the Empire. Now just think for a moment. Why were the Ministries founded in the first place?”

Great! I hate it when grown-ups ask me questions when I’m the one trying to learn stuff!

Ryan thought about it for a few minutes, and then presented the best answer he knew. “To ... to maintain peace with the powerful alien races in the universe and to protect the people of the Empire.”

Hannah smiled like a teacher instructing a dimwit. “Exactly. To protect and serve the interests of the Empire and maintain the balance of power. But nowhere in there is it mentioned that they must also command and rule. It was decided many years ago that in order to maintain the balance of power between the Elementals and the Pureskins, the authority of government would be given to normal humans, while the Elementals mainly served as emissaries between Tarrus and their nonhuman neighbors.”

Ryan frowned in confusion. “What does emissary mean?”

Hannah scowled at Ryan once again.

“Hey, it’s confusing! I’m only like fifteen!” exclaimed Ryan defensively.

Hannah harrumphed dejectedly like she’d lost him. “It means go-between, but that is getting off-topic. The point is that thousands of years ago, people believed that giving the right of governing to the Elementals, combined with their already formidable abilities, would leave the Pureskins completely at the mercy of Psionic Users who were just as fallible.

“I admit, the system they have in place today is far from perfect, and completely corrupted in some areas, but it’s still probably better than all humans being ruled by a small segment of Elementals who make up a little more than 1% of the total human population. It would’ve been no different than a dictatorship, and we all know what happens to those.”

Ryan yawned a bit, getting slightly bored by the lecture, but some parts he found interesting. It reminded him a little of the stories that his father used to tell him. Despite the tediousness of thinking, Ryan started to piece things together in his mind. “So, what you’re saying is this didn’t just happen randomly. There’s been bad blood between the Ministries and the ruling Tarrus Government since the beginning.”

“Yes, and even worse than that, there is also mistrust between the other Elemental Ministries as well. For all we know, those assassins could have been sent by one of the other eleven Ministries to capture you and then recruit you for their own agenda.”

Just when Ryan thought he had it all figured out, the blasted female said something else that made his brain tingle with the pain of thought. “What?! That’s messed up! Err ... I mean, how can that be? Aren’t all the Elementals on the same side?”

Hannah had a pained expression on her face, as if haunted by a distant memory. “If only that were all there was to it, kid, then we wouldn’t need to worry about watching our own backs from each other. If only all the Elementals could get along, and then maybe even the government might start to treat the Elementals as equals instead of just worthless pawns to be sacrificed whenever convenient.

“But I’m afraid that things are rarely that blessedly simple. Humans are very petty at times, more so than other races. Thousands of years ago, the Ministries were one, but then different factions vying for power began to squabble amongst themselves, and the Ministries were split into twelve different entities, each one taking the name of one of the twelve basic elements. Ever since, the Ministries have seen each other as political rivals more than comrades, and the tensions have even led to a few civil wars between them.”

Ryan’s jaw visibly dropped in shock. He immediately regretted his reaction since his jaw still felt very sore. “You’re telling me that the Elementals actually fight against each other?”

Hannah nodded sadly. “Yes, as preposterous as it may seem. Life is rarely as glamorous as stories and fables. When the Ministries fought, sometimes the government intervened, sometimes they didn’t because they saw the conflict as an opportunity to let the Ministries weaken themselves in order to make them more manageable. That is part of the reason today that we have four Grand Ministries and eight lesser Ministries; an after-effect of the skirmishes that the Elementals were too immature to avoid.

“Factions within factions ... division and mistrust; almost everyone motivated by self-interest alone and the need to increase their own power. This is the world of Elemency, Ryan. A world in which you are suspected and shunned by normal humans and other Elementals from different Ministries. A world of deceit and manipulations. Are you sure that this is the world you desire to be a part of?”

Ryan wanted to argue, but he couldn’t think of anything that would help his case. The sad reality was that even though Ryan had dreamed of joining the Ministry ever since early childhood, he knew next to nothing about life as an Elemental, or the histories involved in Elemency. But Hannah did, and Ryan sensed that part of her reasons for leaving the Ministry of Fire pertained to the hypocrisies that she had just described. The Elementals were supposed to stand for peace and equality for all races, and yet here they were fighting amongst themselves. It was almost too much for Ryan to bear.

As Ryan felt his own resolve weakening, he thought of Éclair. He remembered how she’d been confronted for her dream of living the life of an Elemental as well. And yet she did not falter. She bucked up and made her dreams a reality. Even if she couldn’t remember him yet, Ryan knew that Éclair still possessed the essence of what drew him to her all those years ago.

Éclair Hamashe, a girl who lives her dreams no matter what people think; a girl who gives selflessly of herself when needed. Ryan remembered how Éclair risked her skin to save his life five years ago, and again today when she confronted that mercenary who tried to do him in. Just thinking of Éclair’s unyielding resolve reminded Ryan of the time he’d spent with his father and mother.

Hannah waited impatiently for Ryan’s response with her fists on her hips.

In that moment, Ryan remembered the last time he spoke to his father before the attack. “My father once told me that there would be times in my life when I might doubt myself, and I might prefer to follow the path that others think appropriate for me.” Ryan waited, but Hannah kept silent. As her silence prolonged, Ryan continued. “He said that even though it is smart to listen to other people’s advice, the only person who can decide the destiny that my life will follow ultimately is me.”

Hannah continued to stare at Ryan, but her eyes started becoming a little wet, as if she remembered something painful.

“My father taught me that there will come a time in my life when I must stand on my own two feet, and decide for myself the fate that I desire,” explained Ryan humbly, but resolutely. “Not what my friends would want for me, not what my mother would want for me, not even what he would want for me; but what I want for myself. I, Ryan Uruks, am the only one who can decide who I want to be, and what my goals for the future are. If this is a mistake, then so be it, because it’s my mistake to make.”

Ryan felt fatigued, so he sat down on the couch in front of Hannah. He put the medallion Éclair gave him on the counter next to the chair. He decided to speak more gently from here on out, hoping that they could reach some kind of reconciliation.

“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. In fact, if it wasn’t for you, I would’ve died a long time ago, and I never would’ve lived long enough to see this day come ... the day that I am given that choice. You’ve become the closest thing to family that I have left. If you’d be okay with it, I’d like to call you Auntie Hannah. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is what I want to do with my life ... for more than one reason.”

Ryan had to pause for a few seconds as he desperately searched for the right words to explain himself in that moment. “I just discovered things about myself that I never imagined were possible. I am an Elemental. I have psio-whatever-stuff running through my veins. I just found out that I can shoot magic fire out of my foot for crying out loud. Even if everything you say about the Ministry is true, it doesn’t mean that it’s true for all Elementals, and it definitely wasn’t true for my parents ... or for you when you lived with the Ministry.”

Hannah held a hand to her mouth as she gasped visibly. She looked like she’d been slapped across the face. Maybe it was the fact that he knew part of her past, or maybe it’d been the way he said it. For the first time, Hannah seemed deeply distressed by something that Ryan had said to her.

Ryan immediately tried to heal whatever wound he’d just inflicted. “Look, Auntie Hannah. This is what I want to do with my life, and no matter how much you may not like to hear this, you can’t just keep protecting me forever. I have my own life to live, my own decisions to make, and yes, even my own mistakes to endure if I have to.

“Eramar was trying to tell me something like that, and I think I understand him now. He gave it to me straight. Didn’t try to sugarcoat what life is like for a true Elemental. It’s a hard life, probably hard as hell. I understand that. But I’ve been living my own version of hell for five years now. At least this way, I can be doing something with my life that’s worthwhile instead of just depending on the kindness of others to survive.”

Ryan felt tears threatening to sting his eyes as his emotions rose. “You have been kind to me, Auntie Hannah ... more so than I deserved. Anyone else would’ve just left me to rot, and I wouldn’t blame them. But now it’s time for me to grow up, take charge and be the man that I’m always bragging about. This is my decision, and even if you don’t fully approve of it, I hope that you can still respect me for it, and we can keep in touch ... because that’s what families do.”

Ryan hoped for a heartfelt hug, a few words of encouragement, maybe even a slight nod of acknowledgement; anything to let him know that she still cared about him. Ryan was unsure why, but at that moment, he wanted Hannah’s blessing more than anything else in the universe. For her to tell him that she believed in him and that she’d still be there for him, just like she’d been with him these past five years. In some ways, getting Hannah’s approval felt like getting his parents’ approval to live his dreams.

Instead, Hannah looked angrier than he’d ever seen her, like he just spit in her eye. Her nostrils flared and her arms shook. With the coldest voice he ever heard her speak in, she said, “If you want to be an Elemental so badly, then go! You don’t need my approval! Just go and live your foolish dreams, no matter where they may take you!”

Ryan’s heart collapsed in his chest. He had just spilled his guts out for this lady, and in return she spat on all his hopes and dreams. He felt hot tears running down his face as he barely managed to whisper, “But-”

Hannah raised her hand and looked away. “I was given a job to protect you and get you away from the Ministry. I didn’t have to accept it, but I suppose I figured I owed your father a favor, so I did. I did everything I could think of, but I failed. You have your heart set on going to the Ministry, and there is nothing I can do to change your mind. Nothing I can say to convince you of the tremendous error you are committing, or of the consequences of that error. But it’s like you said, we must be free to make our own mistakes in life, no matter how foolhardy.”

Ryan didn’t want to believe his ears. “Are you saying that you never cared about me to begin with? That it was all an act just to keep me from joining the Elementals? No, I can’t believe that! Auntie Hannah, you’ve been the only family I’ve had since my parents died!”

But the more Ryan thought about it, the more it made sense. Of course she never really cared about me! Why should she? Why would anybody care? But then why would she push herself so far to protect me if she never even liked me?

As if to put his doubts about her intentions to rest, Hannah pressed the attack. “This just means that you don’t have to feel guilty about going off to join the Ministry. It just makes my job a little inconvenient, that’s all. I can’t help it if your feelings got hurt in the process. I had a job to do, and I failed, it’s as simple as that. So go on, tell them your answer and leave me in peace ... please.”

Ryan’s sorrow slowly turned to fury. She’s right! There’s nothing holding me back now, nothing left for me in the measly little sector of Fernady City!

Ryan went to his room, packed whatever he thought he needed as quickly as he could. He then called out to Tyrant, who came to perch on his shoulder, gently retracting his claws so as not to dig too deeply into the flesh.

As Ryan exited through the automatic doors, he turned back to Hannah one last time. With all the hurt and betrayal in his heart, he said, “You can burn in hell for all I care, witch!”

Ryan didn’t even wait to hear if she would scold him for swearing, he simply made his way over the plush carpet as fast as his feet would carry him and pushed the button for the elevator. Ryan waited for the elevator to appear with mounting frustration. Even with the vast technology at their command, people still had to wait for the elevator. Ryan tapped his foot impatiently.

Why is it taking so long?! I just want to leave and forget I was ever here!

As the doors finally opened, Ryan took a step inside, but then he remembered something especially important. The medallion that Éclair gave him! With a growing sense of apprehension, Ryan realized that he’d set it down on the counter in Hannah’s living room while they talked. As much as he hated to go back there, Ryan knew from what Éclair had told him that he absolutely needed that medallion for more than one reason. With a sick feeling in his stomach, Ryan made his way back towards Hannah’s room. He decided that he wouldn’t even say a word to her; he’d just grab the medallion and leave.

But what if she picked it up and won’t give it back? I swear if she does that, I’m gonna...

As he leaned towards Hannah’s door, he could clearly hear someone sobbing uncontrollably inside. Ryan stopped in surprise, uncertain of how to proceed.

I’m probably just imagining what my subconscious wants me to hear.

But despite Ryan’s reasoning, the noise still persisted. Ryan didn’t know which of his senses he should believe, his ears or his brain. Deciding that he would believe what his eyes told him, Ryan steeled himself and walked in. Luckily, he had locked himself out of her apartment accidentally before, so Hannah had taught him her combination. He peeked around the corner and saw her curled in a ball on the floor crying her eyes out like a little girl. To her breast, she clutched the pretty painting of the young man that Ryan saw earlier. Seeming to sense his presence, Hannah stopped and looked up at Ryan with tears still on her cheeks. Ryan didn’t know what he should do.

Looking extremely uncomfortable now, Hannah attempted to wipe the tears away to no avail. “Ryan! What are you still doing here?”

Ryan meekly motioned over at the counter and to the medallion with the moving figures on it.

Still trying in vain to stop her tears, Hannah attempted to compose herself. “These aren’t for you, you know. So, don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not like I’d ever shed tears just because you’re leaving. It’s not like I would shed a single tear just because I’m alone again.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than anybody. “It was just a mission, that’s all! There’s no need to get emotional! It was just a stupid-”

Hannah seemed to lose her resolve and cried tears of pure misery as she buried her head into the painting. Ryan felt like he could taste the depths of her despair in the air itself. Despite everything she’d said to him, willingly admitting that she lied and manipulated him, Ryan couldn’t help but pity her.