Chapter 1

It’s funny how you can always want something, but think it’s truly unobtainable.

And then, one day, you decide ... Why not just go for it? What’s keeping you from trying?

I remember the day it all started, when I got just a little too bold and had maybe just the right amount of honesty.

We were sitting together in her car, a crumby SUV with just enough space to get up to funny business in the back, when she looked up at me with her chocolate brown eyes and a mischievous smile.

“So, how about you?”

I blinked in surprise, having zoned out a little bit just watching her cute smile with tiny dimples.

“What about me?”

“Anything you’re embarrassed to tell me?”

Immediately I laughed and rolled my eyes, leaning back in my seat and stretching enough for my shirt to ride just a little too far up and expose some skin. “Oh, for sure, but lord knows I’m not telling you any of it.”

She laughed and flipped her curly red hair over her shoulder, cocking an eyebrow and leaning forward across the seat. “Oh no, no I don’t think so! You’ve been asking me questions all night, it’s time to ask you something embarrassing.”

“Not a chance.”

“Oh?” I felt a shiver run up my spine as her soft fingertip began tracing its way across my arm, causing my heart to beat far faster than a simple touch should have. While it was the first time, it would certainly not be the last that I suddenly felt like prey locked in a cage with a predator. “I’m sure you think that but I kind of get the feeling that...” As she spoke she leaned even closer, her soft skin pressing into my arm while radiating a sensual warmth. “ ... I can easily make that change.”

This wasn’t the first time we’d been in this situation. Veronica would constantly test her boundaries, trying to get under my skin with her sexuality as she knew between the two of us she was the more experienced. We would go back and forth with her implying she had some sort of power in our dynamic due to her experience but at the end of the day the power balance would always be tested but remain stable. I would challenge her to test it, and she would back down with a sly giggle.

Truthfully, she more than likely backed down for no other reason than she believed I was uncomfortable which wasn’t entirely untrue but...

Well, I just wasn’t certain how to explain to her that I wanted her to prove me wrong. It probably would be something along the lines of just addressing with her that I enjoyed such a dynamic, but I couldn’t squash that deep feeling in my chest that didn’t want to tell her ... I wanted her to show me.

But of course, that was ridiculous, and so as always I pussied out of my own feelings and just forced a cocky smirk.

“Oh, and you would do that ... How?”

I turned to make more direct eye contact with her, as always challenging her with the pitiful hope that she would keep ramping up the tension before I felt my heart full stop as her hand suddenly pressed into the side of my head to keep it from turning and I felt her soft, warm lips press directly against my ear while her hot breath flowed down my neck.

“It’s very simple.” She whispered with a powerful mix of sensualism and confidence I didn’t even know it was possible. “You want to tell me, you’re just being a wuss about it. So man up...”

My words were caught in my throat as I felt as if she had seen directly through me, and before I could even think of a response I felt her teeth dig into my earlobe as she gave it a long, hedonistic nibble that almost seemed like a threat and a promise bundled into one.

“ ... Or you’ll miss your chance.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. All my senses felt overloaded and my heart was racing like its life depended on it. My skin was burning, my forehead glistening, and my pants were starting to feel more than just a little tight. She had absolutely hit the nail on the head, and then some, and I felt absolutely vulnerable, like jelly in her hands.

“H-Hey, that’s not fair-!” I was cut off as I felt her tongue briefly enter my ear before beginning to swirl all around it, as if hungrily exploring the tastiest bit before she enjoyed her meal. Fucking HELL where had this come from? We had messed around before, but this was something different.

“What’s not fair...?” Her words continued to flow out of her mouth like a sensual breath before, without warning, she leaned back and let out a girlish giggle. “ ... The fact that I totally called you out?”

I blinked and let out a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding, looking at her in confusion as she grinned from ear to ear, her adorable smile as innocent as ever. It was as if the dominant predator that had been in front of my only moments ago had vanished, and in its place was a bubbly red head who just looked proud of herself for causing a little mischief.

“I ... you didn’t-!”

“I totally did. Admit it, you’ve been keeping a secret and I just totally called you on it. Just spill! There’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

My cheeks were burning bright red as I sat up and straightened my clothes, trying to regain some kind of composure. “Look, it’s embarrassing okay! And I’ve ... Never really spoken with anyone about it ever, so it’s kind of hard to just ... admit, ya’ know?”

“Yeah I get it.” She responded with a somber nod, although the shining look of impish pride still shone in her eyes. “Still, if you’re not going to trust me, who are you going to?”

I remained silent as I weighed my options and tried to run everything through my head, but I found myself staring at her large eyes and felt myself realizing she was right. I trusted her with everything ... Why not this?

“Okay ... Okay. Fine. Look ... I like being choked.”

She blinked and her face grew entirely devoid of any expression. Ah shit. She thinks I’m weird.

“That’s ... That’s it? Shit, Jasper, everyone likes that at least a little bit!” Or maybe not.

“Yeah but like ... you know what, never mind.”

Before I even had a chance to move I heard her clambering over and was shoved back against the passenger side door as she climbed to my side of the car, her face suddenly in mine with one eyebrow raised. “Tell me, Jasper. You obviously want to, and you’re just a big dummy who gets in his own head too much. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

Despite myself, I felt the tiniest groan escape my lips as I looked back at her.

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“No. I don’t. I’m entitled to laugh at you, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you and it doesn’t mean I think less of you. You laugh at me because I get stressed driving. I get to laugh at you for this.” Her nose scrunched up slightly as she looked up to think. “Well, if I find it funny, anyways.”

My lips pursed into a thin line before I sucked in a deep breath, and closed my eyes. Fuck it. Just say it, Jasper. Don’t be a bitch.

“Your thighs. I’d like to be choked by your thighs.” My eyes remained closed, and she remained silent. The smart thing to do would have been to wait, but I found now that the damn was broken I couldn’t keep it in and might as well let it all out.

“And that thing you just did? The whole whispering thing? I loved that. Like, so much. But not just that, the ways you made me feel, the way you were in control, I-I just-MPH!”

Once again I was cut off but this time it was because lips crashed into mine, and for a moment I was lost in the passionate kiss before she pulled away, looking at me with an absolutely unreadable expression.

“W ... What?” I asked breathlessly.

“You’re cute. That’s all.”

Oh. Well, that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.

“Okay ... And?”

“And what? You’re cute. And you’re extra cute when you’re flustered.”

“Yeah but what about everything else?”

“What about it? You’ve got some fetishes. I get that. Everyone has em’. And yours are a little weird but...” She shrugged and pecked me on the check. “ ... At least it’s not some of the really weird stuff.”

I felt my heart drop a little bit as I forced a smile and nodded. Well, at least she didn’t hate me for it I guess?

“Yeah, I guess so. Thanks for being cool about it. Most girls probably would get weirded out by being into headscissors and dominance stuff.”

She shrugged and moved back to her side of the car, a soft smile on her face. “No worries, dude. I’m pretty cool, I guess.”

Despite her not having a negative reaction, I found myself feeling disappointed. I had finally opened up, and it really felt like it wasn’t going to go anywhere. Which was okay, of course, I just felt like-

“Alrighty then.” She suddenly spoke as she unlocked the car and opened her door to get out.

My head snapped to look at her as my brow furrowed in concern.

“Alrighty what?”

“Well ... I’m clearing out the backseat. I’ve never choked anyone out with my legs before, so you’re going to have to teach me if I’m going to do it right. Get ready to be knocked on your ass, mister.”

I felt like I was floating, in a dream that had no place in reality as I watched my beautiful, incredible girlfriend happily hop out of the car and fall a bit before landing on the ground.

She moved with confidence to the back seat door, and as she opened it and began to move around the yoga mats she had placed back there she turned and gave me a quick glance before smirking.

“I get you’re excited because I’m absolutely incredible, but I’m not doing this on my own. Get your ass back here and help or I’m not doing anything.”

With a mind of their own, my legs began to move although my brain was up in cloud 9. Was this really about to happen? This was something I had fantasized about for years but ... Well, I had at most just made out with any of my girlfriends, and with Veronica specifically we had definitely given each other some handies and done some fingering but that was literally the most of my sexual experience.

I didn’t even know if I’d like this but the very thought of finally getting to try after all this time...

“Heads up!” Her cheery voice broke through my stupor as my head snapped up and barely caught the yoga mat flying directly at my face. As soon as it was in my hand I tossed it into the trunk and stuck my tongue out at her, giving her a nasty face as she merely giggled at her apparent deviousness.

“Sorry, you looked so lost in your own thoughts I had to do something to break you out of them. You sure you’re okay and want to do this?”

“I want to do this.” I stated probably a bit too quickly which she definitely caught onto as her dimples deepened from her growing smile.

“Damn, you really do huh? I’m gonna guess none of your previous girlfriends ever did this?”

I let out a snort, despite being so nervous.

“You really think I would have told them? They were all good and tidy church girls. You’re the first one who-”

“-First one who’s cool and has tattoos and drinks and shit, I know. Basically, I’m your first girlfriend who wants to have fun.”

My cheeks grew red but I couldn’t help but smile. It was true, I’d lived my whole life as a goody-two shoes nice fellow who always helped out and never cursed. In fact, some part of me still valued that part of me, but ever since I had met Veronica I began to realize that living that way needed to be for me. Not others.

And part of living for me was admitting to my girlfriend that I wanted to be crushed between her thighs ... I guess? No, no. I knew. My family had always taught me that women were supposed to be meek, and subservient. I guess part of me always knew I didn’t want that, and Veronica was anything but.

She tossed the last of the junk out of the seat and hit the small lever that caused the chairs to fold back, leaving a decent sized chunk of room where we could both lay down and for the most part have a little bit of leg room.

“Alrighty, mister. How does this work?”

“Um ... Well, to be honest I’m not super sure. I think you lie down, and I put my head between your legs and you ... Squeeze?”

Veronica gave a grin, and began to move to lie down but for the briefest moment I know I saw her cheeks turning a soft pink.

Aha, so she was embarrassed about this too. I knew it! With that revelation, suddenly I felt my confidence come flooding back as I hopped in the car and shut the door while taking a quick look around the empty convenience store parking lot to make sure nobody might drive up to witness my embarrassment. I mean, yeah, it was 2 in the morning but you still couldn’t be too careful.

“Okay! So, open your legs.” I spoke with a confident tone, making sure to try and take more control of the situation so I could help alleviate my own embarrassment.

She raised an eyebrow and, despite her own hesitation, did so and softly ran one finger up her yoga-pants clad thigh while maintaining eye contact. Fuck. She was trying to make me nervous again and I wasn’t going to let that happen. If I was going to be in such a compromising situation I had to at least feel I had some semblance of self control.

“Just like that.” I confirmed while very intentionally looking her up and down to show that I was not going to shy away from this. Unfortunately, in doing so, I found my eyes getting a bit ... Distracted. It was difficult not to, given the absolute eye-show she was giving me and the way her tight black clothing just seemed to fit right. She was pretty fit as she practiced regular yoga, and her day job had her walking around constantly while doing squats to grab things from lower shelves which led to some pretty toned legs ... Not that I had noticed, of course.

“You gonna keep looking and miss your chance?” She asked with a giggle, and I immediately swallowed and gave her a playful glare.

“Shut up. Okay, I’m gonna lay down like this...” I moved to rotate and rest on my back, with my head placed just above her crotch in between her thighs. Almost immediately I could feel their warmth and my heart beginning to race yet again. Even just being here was incredible, I felt like I’d never want to leave and she hadn’t even clamped down! It was so soft, and warm, and-

Her thighs clapped together like a mousetrap without warning, like steel cables they wrapped around my neck and head. My breath got caught in my throat as my eyes widened, expecting the inevitable pressure and...

Despite myself, I started laughing in both surprise and amusement. There was no pressure at all!

“Hey what the fuck, I thought this was supposed to choke you!” Veronica exclaimed in a playfully pouty voice, and while I couldn’t see her face I was certain her cute lower lip was poking out to match.

The problem was, she was attempting to choke me by squeezing her thighs together like a nutcracker, putting all the pressure by flexing the wrong muscles. I only knew because of the videos I had seen, but I suppose to someone who knew little about the process they would have no idea that the pressure came from extending and flexing your thighs to cause them to expand, not just by trying to squeeze.

I opened my mouth to explain this to her but, through the laughter, it became difficult and I felt her growing irritated.

“Shut up Jasper, I know this is possible. I’ve seen it in movies.” She pressed against the sides of my head even harder in frustration but once again it only led to a slight increase in squeezing. “What am I doing wrooooong?”

I reached up to wipe a tear of laughter from my eye and sat up just enough to turn to look at her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to laugh, I just realized I haven’t really taught you right. You need to extend your legs, not keep them bent. It’s about expanding your muscles. By squeezing, you’re trying to contract them.”

She glared at me playfully and flicked my nose, and while she was staying lighthearted I could see the legitimate frustration in her face. Veronica was fiercely competitive, and hated feeling like she couldn’t do something. She was staying lighthearted for me but I could tell this was actually bothering her.

“Don’t worry, my love. You’ve got this. Try locking your ankles together and extending your legs okay? Like you’re stretching!”

She nodded and looked towards her legs as if envisioning what I was saying, but in doing so I noticed something that got me slightly worried. Up until this point she was amused, having fun and trying to indulge a fantasy. But now that she had failed the first time and worse, I had laughed. Now, I could see that sheen of determination in her eyes which I had seen before. When she got like this, nothing would stand in her way which ... Which was good, right? Now she wanted this too.

Fuck, why did I feel nervous?

“Get back down.” She said as she looked directly in my eyes and I felt my heart practically explode from her tone of voice.

It wasn’t demanding, it wasn’t an order, it was a warning. She was telling me to buckle in, or fuck around and find out.

Every bit of attempt to maintain confidence and cool went out the window as I shrunk back down and placed my head back between her thighs like a scolded puppy. My cheeks stayed a bright color of embarrassed red while my stomach dropped with both anticipation and more excitement than I had ever felt.

I watched her bare feet lock behind their ankles in front of me, I felt her thighs tense like rocks around my head, and I sucked in a breath of anticipation.

Then, my head exploded with blood pressure. When people say they want to be choked, they imagine their airflow getting cut off. They imagine breath control, a sexy act of keeping someone’s breathing limited.

What they don’t imagine is the massive amount of blood pressure from your veins suddenly being cut off as well. It felt like my head was swelling, and I immediately thanked everything that could hear that I had taken in that breath of air because there was no way I was going to get another full breath in until my girlfriend let me. My jaw was pressed up by her thighs and forced to keep closed, and despite our position she ratcheted up the pressure as she tightened her legs further, actually causing my body to lift with her legs as it had no choice but to follow the poor neck that was at the mercy of her legs.

My hands immediately gripped her rock hard legs and for the briefest moment I considered tapping, getting reprieve from this almighty python that had imprisoned me and was restricting my air flow...

But I didn’t. Despite the pain, despite the panic, despite being put in the most vulnerable situation of my life...

Fuck. I was at her mercy and I never, ever wanted her to let go.

So I didn’t tap. I took it. I wasn’t sure how long, it felt like hours, but probably only 10 seconds at most knowing Veronicas deep care for my safety. Still, I let her continue to imprison me in absolute hell and bliss for as long as she wanted before suddenly the pressure relieved and I took in a gasp of beautiful, precious air before I immediately began coughing.

“Oh, babe, are you okay?” She asked with genuine affection and concern as she ran her hand over my cheek and lightly tilted my head to make sure my neck wasn’t too hurt. “I guess I did it right that time, huh?”

Even through the concern, I could hear her competitive tone coming out and there was just the slightest bit of mocking. I knew she was only doing so because she knew I was probably okay, and while I should have been upset for her taking the time to gloat while I was gasping for breath...

I looked up at her as my breathing finally began to grow regular with a look in my eyes I’m sure she would begin to become well acquainted with.

“Yeah...” I gasped as I pushed my head further between her thighs. “Fuck yeah you did...”

She raised an eyebrow as she looked at my no doubt red and beaten face, a soft affectionate smile forming. “I guess you underestimated me ... Still, I’m sure you’ve learned your lesson.”

I swallowed deeply and, against every single bit of self preservation screaming at me to have some sort of sanity, I shrugged while continuing to take deep breaths. “There’s room for improvement.”

Without hesitation, her smile turned to one of impish intent as her thighs threateningly started to tighten. “Is that so?”

“Yup.”

“Let me try again. Remember to tap this time, idiot ... You’ll need to.”

With no time to escape, I was once again a prisoner in chains of pain and bliss.

As her legs clamped down again she really put on the pressure to test my limits, and for a moment the tap was almost immediate. It was like two iron bars crushing my neck with the force of a powerlifter, and the only thing that kept me from tapping was one single thought:

If this is where I tap, this is as far as she will go. I want to test everything she can do to me. She held me there, squirming in pain and intense pleasure for nearly an entire minute before letting out an irritated grunt and dropping me to the floor where I immediately gasped for air and rolled out from between her legs.

“God damn it Jasper! Why aren’t you tapping?”

I looked up at her weakly as I held up a finger and rubbed my neck, trying to recover before propping myself up on my arms and giving her what most more than likely the most infuriating childish smile possible despite how weak I felt from her hold.

“Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.” I rasped which immediately caused her to roll her eyes and push her bare foot directly into my side and roll me over.

“You’re ridiculous! This is my first time, I need you to be serious with me, am I hurting you or not?”

I let out a strained chuckle before leaning against the side of the car. “Oh, it hurts babe. I can guarantee you that. I’m just not tapping.”

Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms, tossing her red hair behind her shoulder. “If it hurts, why the fuck aren’t you tapping? I don’t want to actually hurt you!”

I shook my head and wiped some of the sweat off my forehead before I grinned. “It’s ... It’s really weird to explain. I ... I like that it hurts.”

Her expression turned from one of annoyance to one of immediate revelation. “Ohhh my god, you’re uh ... Oh, what’re they called? The people who like pain?”

My eyebrow raised as I felt my strength returning. “A masochist?”

Her fingers snapped as her eyes lit up with excitement. “A masochist! ... Hey, wait, why do you know what that is, mister virgin church boy?”

With my heart in my throat, I forced a blank expression and shrugged. “You hear weird things on the internet, Ver.”

Like a cats, her eyes narrowed. “Liar. I could believe that maybe, but you’re so bad at lying to me.”

I let out a soft, nervous laugh and shrugged again. “I don’t know what to say...”

Slowly, she got onto all fours and started prowling towards me, like a panther stalking its prey. It was impossibly arousing and terrifying at the same time as I tried to back away further into the side of the car.

“Now, Veronica, remember you didn’t want to hurt me-!”

I wasn’t able to finish the sentence as she jumped on top of me and the two of us began to grapple. Truthfully, she stood no chance of winning this in ordinary circumstances. I was stronger, more experienced, and in a better position.

But this wasn’t ordinary circumstances. I had just been strangled for nearly a minute straight, and truth be told ... I didn’t want to win this fight. I wanted to see where it went.

Even so, it took several minutes for her to finally get her legs clamped around my head, this time with my head face forward and up at her with my chin pressed into her nether regions. Without hesitation she began to squeeze and I felt my eyes bug out of my head as I fell to the floor of the car while I weakly gripped at her thighs. Jesus christ she had picked this up quick!

“You’re right Jasper, I didn’t want to hurt you ... But now that I know you like it I’m feeling a little more inclined to indulge you.” She grinned sadistically down at me before squeezing a little harder, just to give emphasis. Unfortunately, in this position, she was sitting on my neck and it was much harder to breathe. I found myself in absolute bliss before legitimate panic began to fill me and I began tapping rapidly.

For a moment, she didn’t seem to notice before her eyes filled with concern and she hopped off immediately, moving to put her face next to mine as her chocolate brown eyes looked at me in deep concern.

“Oh my god babe, are you okay? I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t-!”

My hand, despite my coughing, moved to cover her mouth and shut her up while I finished hacking. As soon as I was done, I gasped inward and looked up with what might have been the largest smile I’d ever felt on my face.

“No apologies. Best experience I’ve ever had.”

Veronica seemed dumbfounded before she flopped onto the floor of the car and shook her head. “But you were really hurting!”

“Yeah ... Yeah maybe ... But you were so confident! Fuck, you’re so attractive.”

Her worry turned to embarrassment as she rolled her eyes and lightly kicked me, a soft blush covering her freckles. “Shut up, idiot. I don’t know if I can do this if it’s going to hurt you.”

I cleared my throat and slowly sat up, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. “We just need a safe word. Something to tell you I’m really in danger. That’s all.”

Her eyebrow slowly raised as she turned to look at me. “That’s a good idea. What should our safe word be?”

“Well, if you’re choking me I’m not gonna be able to say it, so ... Let’s say if I give any part of your body 2 firm squeezes that last a second, you need to let go.”

“And you’ll promise you’ll actually do that?”

“Promise.”

She smiled softly and nodded, leaning forward to snuggle into my chest and kiss my neck. “Good. I don’t want you to be hurt too bad. Now, that being said...”

She pulled back and looked me directly in the eyes. The look in her eyes was dangerous, hungry, and above all else ... it looked just like a hunters’. “ ... you’re going to tell me exactly how you know about headscissors, masochism, and safe words mister. You’ve been hiding your interests from me.”

I swallowed nervously and leaned back, trying to find the handle to the door to make a feeble attempt at escape. “C-C’mon babe, it’s just some light reading ... I haven’t actually tried anything it’s all been-”

Click.

The door locked behind me as she leaned past me to push the mechanism down, leaving her face inches from mine.

“Well good news. You’re going to tell me everything ... Whether you like it or not.”

That night opened a new door for our relationship, but it was a slow burn of discovery and self exploration for both of us.

We had fooled around for another hour or so, teaching Veronica new techniques and further helping her get the best bang for her buck but to be 100% honest the girl was a natural. By the end of the night, she actually did end up forcing me to tap once or twice despite my strong desire to stay in her iron trap until the day I died.

Every time she successfully got a tap out of me she squealed with delight, creating the strange dichotomy of me fighting for my life between her legs while she celebrated like a child...

But then again, that’s what I loved about her. Her odd maturity mixed with her child-like excitement created an intoxicating personality I couldn’t get enough of.

However, eventually, she grew concerned for my safety despite my insistence that I was fine and from there we returned to her apartment and kissed goodnight.

“I um ... I had a good time tonight.” I muttered with a sheepish smile as I shrugged my jacket closer onto my shoulders to protect from the biting wind, leaning a bit more into the door frame to try and keep warm.

“Oh, did you now?” She responded with a confident smirk as her hips swayed playfully, almost as if she was immune to the cold. Even so, the brisk weather caused the tip of her nose to turn a bright red to match her cheeks, making her possibly the cutest thing I had ever seen.

It was insane to think this was the same adorable girl who had me tapping for mercy not 20 minutes ago.

“I did ... I um ... Wouldn’t mind if we-”

She leaned up slightly to kiss my lips and interrupt me before giving me a wink and finishing my sentence. “Did it again sometime? I know.”

Before I could retort I gasped as I felt her ice cold hand press between my legs and gently rub against me, performing the impossible task of bringing my member to full attention even in the frigid air. “Too bad that’s not up to you, huh?” With that she took a step back and opened her apartment door, blowing me a kiss as it closed behind her.

I stood there, in the cold, for nearly a minute as I tried to process the entire night before a grin slowly split across my face and I shook my head in disbelief.

“Fuck ... I will protect you forever, Veronica.”

After that night, to my disappointment, a lot didn’t happen for a while. Things seemed to go back to normal, and while Veronica did seem a bit more forward and dominant it was only here and there. When we laid on the couch she would make sure to prop her legs up on me, when we went out together she’d find little things to boss me around with, simple things like that.