Chapter 10

Andrew read that night but he was remembering nothing. Too many dark thoughts, too many worries. Not just for him but for Faith too. His parents, who had been acting somewhat more normally for the last 10 days, were back to fake cheerfulness parents. He didn’t need to deal with that right then so went to bed early even though he knew sleep would be elusive. He lay there thinking about everything that had happened over the last six months. He was trying not to be too worried about the next day whilst also not getting too carried away the other way. Just a constant barrage of thoughts ‘I feel better and am going to get the all clear tomorrow’ offset with ‘what if it has spread? How long will I have?’ Those kinds of cheery thoughts! On top of his own worries was his concern for Faith who did not appear to be getting better. He was worried about what she would hear tomorrow. And just to add to all this he also thought back to John Cuttington, dead more than a year. This kaleidoscope of thoughts whirled in his head for hours before exhaustion took hold and he finally dozed off around 1.45am.

Of course Andrew was awake at 6.20am and ready to leave for the hospital appointment at 7am. Unfortunately, his appointment was at 10.30 which left plenty of time for everyone to get on each other’s nerves, and they managed that by 8.00. He retreated back to his room and worked on maths problems. Some trigonometry at least kept his jitters at bay.

The journey in took an age and yet before Andrew was ready for it he was sitting in his oncologist’s waiting room about to find out if he was going to die. The receptionist told them to go in and he couldn’t feel his legs. Andrew stumbled through the door and saw the doctor’s smiling face. Before he had even sat down he heard the word ‘Remission.’

Suddenly the world started to spin and he sagged down onto the floor. Everyone ran around for a minute or two but he was able to tell them that it was just relief and a reaction to the good news. His pulse was racing so they decided to get him to lie down for a few minutes until he recovered. They walked him out of the consultant’s office and into a semi private room nearby, there were just two beds. The other side of the room was already curtained off and Andrew could hear a commotion going on behind it. He was able to climb onto the bed and was told to lie still and relax for a few minutes and let his heartrate and blood pressure return to normal. The doctor was going to continue telling his parents the details of his condition and follow up care that would be necessary. The short version was that the chemo had worked and got the skin cancer before it spread.

As Andrew lay on the bed trying to calm myself he became aware of the voices on the other side of the room. There were at least three people crying. Suddenly a man spoke and he froze in horror. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. It was Mr. Campbell. Three people crying. Oh no. Faith. His extensive vocabulary failed him again. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

Well so much for getting his heartrate down. Andrew needed to get out of this room and immediately, before his parents came back and everyone heard everyone else’s voices. He was on autopilot, swinging his legs round off the bed and hopping down. He fought dizziness for a second and then headed towards the door. Mere feet from safety he heard the curtains being pulled apart and there was Leslie also heading towards the door staring at him in shock. Andrew grabbed her hand and put his finger to her lips, ‘shh’. He practically dragged Leslie out the room and then let go of her hand and slumped back against the wall.

“What are you doing Andrew? Why were you in that room?”

Her eyes were still red and puffy. She had made no attempt to hide that she had been crying. Andrew looked down at the floor and took a deep breathe. He was so not ready to do this.

“Leslie, I felt faint in the doctor’s office. I was taken in there for a few minutes to relax and recover.”

Here he paused but forced himself to carry on.

“I found out that my cancer is in remission. The relief just overwhelmed me which is why I got lightheaded and flaked out. Leslie, once I recognised your dad’s voice and heard you all crying I knew the Faith did not get the same good news today. I was just trying to get out of the room so that everybody didn’t have a horrible day made even worse by seeing me and my parents when I got different news.

“I am so sorry.”

Andrew pulled Leslie into a hug and felt her start to cry against his shoulder. Taking her gently by the hand he found an empty room and sat with her. She hugged him again and this time didn’t let go. Instead two years of pent up emotion and dashed hopes and dreams were shed upon his sweatshirt. A nurse looked in at them and raised an eyebrow but Andrew gently shook his head and she nodded and left. Sadly such scenes must be all too common in that ward. The sobs were now huge wracking gulps as Leslie just couldn’t face it anymore. He held her and gently stroked her hair and patted her back. There were no words that he could say.

Then his parents walked past. They saw him and stopped in their tracks. Andrew held his finger to his lips again. They stared and then realised that it was Leslie in his arms. His mother simply mouthed ‘oh no’ and he nodded. He mouthed back ‘ten minutes’ and she nodded and taking his father’s arm she walked back the way they had come. All during this Leslie had been inconsolable in his arms and utterly unaware of the silent communication between Andrew and his parents.

As Andrew continued to try to comfort her he had a dawning realisation that she had been away from Faith’s room for a long time. What if one of her parents came looking for her? He looked down at Leslie. She was coming apart and he could only hold her. Again his heart started to beat faster as he knew that he was going to have to face one of Faith’s parents. The flood of tears was beginning to abate when Mr. Campbell came down the corridor looking about. When he saw Andrew in the waiting room comforting Leslie he stopped for a second as he took in the scene. It was clear neither of them knew what to do. Andrew spoke quietly to him.

“I think she is calming down. She should be along to the room in a few minutes. Okay?”

He nodded and then headed back to his wife and other daughter. About five minutes later Leslie finally was calm and she gently pulled herself away and looked at him.

“Thank you, Andrew. I will give you a call next week but I need to get back to Faith now.”

He helped her up and then she quickly walked back down the corridor towards the room.

Andrew sat back down in the chair and held his head in his hands. Shaking his head he stood up and nearly knocked his parents over as he left the waiting room right as they were entering it. Not really stopping he said.

“Let’s get out of here. I tell you about it in the car. Do I, or we, need to see the doc or can we go?”

Apparently Andrew was free to leave so he hurried them away as fast as possible. Once seated in the car he gave his folks the short version.

“When I had my dizzy spell I was taken along to that semi-private room to lie down and relax for a few minutes. That didn’t work out as Faith was there. She did not get good news today and all of them were in tears. It took me a minute to realise that it was the Campbells behind the curtain but when I did I got up and had almost reached the door when Leslie came out and saw me. I dragged her out before she said anything and had to tell her that I had received the all clear. She broke down and wept for 25 minutes, maybe more. A nurse checked up on me, you saw me and Mr. Campbell saw me. I was able to fob him off and tell him that Leslie would be along in a few minutes. Once she finally calmed down she went back to Faith’s room and I ran into you guys and dragged you out of there.”

His parents were a bit stunned at the turn of events, how the two of them had been thrown together. He told them that he was fine but that any happiness about his good news was lost with the news about Faith. That afternoon they sat down, the three of them, and talked about everything.

“If the school is okay with it can I study from home until the end of term exams please? I am still pretty weak and I want to get the chance to regain some weight and strength before I return. I will work every day on my schoolwork. I was completely up to date at the end of November so I only have about 6 weeks’ worth of study to catch up on. I am sure that I will be okay for the exams. I will do them in school and then go back full time in April.”

That was how Andrew started the conversation and his parents were okay with him staying off for the rest of the term.

“As soon as I am physically able I would like to see about getting some kind of job. I want to earn some money again. I am looking into doing some kind of computer course outside of school and I want to start saving for my own computer.”

His parents were pleasantly surprised at this development and said they would support him.

“One of the things I was thinking about was trying to combine getting a job with rebuilding my strength. Do you think that Harry would take me on the weekends and over the holidays? I would need to prove to him that I could handle the physical rigours of working on the farm but I think that it would be good for me as well as a steady job.”

Harry was the family friend who owned a farm about 30 minutes from their house. His mother considered this.

“As long as the arrangement can be ended without rancour if you are not cutting it Andrew, then I don’t see any harm in asking. I don’t want this to come between the families though so if he says that you are not working out then you say thank you for the opportunity and move on.”

This was only sensible. He was an 88lb skeleton at present. Just getting back to puny would take perseverance and a lot of eating. The last thing he addressed was exercise.

“I know that I have to be patient and take my time but I would like to start regularly exercising again as well. From talking to the nurses in the ward, swimming is great exercise as it doesn’t put strain on the bones and joints. I would like to go swimming three days a week as part of regaining strength and weight. Dad goes close by the Commonwealth Pool on the way to work. Can he drop me off in the morning? I will do as much swimming as I can manage, and hopefully that will get longer over time, and then get the bus home. I have PE and games at school normally so this will just take the place of that.”

His parents looked at each other and then his dad asked.

“What has brought all this on Andrew? For someone who only found out your good news this morning you seem very organised and focused. Did you not try running last year and just gradually stop?”

Andrew smiled sadly at them.

“Faith, Leslie and I spent a lot of time talking about our lives. In fact the girls spent more time talking to me about mine than the other way round. The time spent with them was hugely important and they have given me some new goals to work towards. One of them is just being healthier. Given how Faith and I met that seems obvious and necessary.”

He stopped and looked at them.

“So what am I going to do about Faith?

“What do you mean ‘what are you going to do?’. Do you think that you have to do something?”

His mum looked puzzled.

“You know how we were each other’s support for the last two months. I cannot just walk away from her now. But I also know that I am probably the last person she wants to see right now, and maybe ever again.”

Andrew rubbed his eyes.

“I suppose I have to wait for Leslie to call next week but if she will see me then you need to know that I am going to spend time with her.”

Both his parents started talking at once but Andrew held up his hand.

“I know. You realise that no one has actually told us that she is dying? I am basing that supposition on everyone’s reaction, nobody has told us. But if she is dying then I am not going to abandon her. If she will see me then I will help distract her as much as possible.”

HIs eyes started to well up and he blinked away tears.

“She was already on pretty heavy doses of morphine this week. I don’t know that she has much time. It will be tough but think about what it must be like for Leslie and her parents. It could have been us.”

Total silence from his parents.

“I am not sure that I will see her anyway. I just think that it will be too hard for the Campbells to deal with, to see me getting better as their daughter dies in front of them. I will make the offer to Leslie and she can talk to her parents but most likely it will be politely turned down.”

Sometimes his parents could have moments of being loving and supportive and this was one of these times. They stood and hugged him as he wept silent tears. The rest of the afternoon for Andrew passed in a daze. Lots of calls to relatives telling them the great news. At dinner his mother showed him the pamphlets she had received at the hospital earlier. He looked at the nutrition one with interest. Lots of proteins and lots of carbs to help him regain the weight. Lentil soup every day, at every meal if possible. Chicken for dinner a lot. Pasta, potatoes, vegetables. There was even a suggestion of vegetarian chili with lots of beans. In the coming months that ended up more of a vegetable casserole. Chili in Scotland in the 1970s was as yet too exotic!

Andrew was relaxing in his room after dinner when the phone rang. He ignored it, if it was a relative for him he would get a shout. Instead, his father came to his room and asked Andrew to come to the family room with him. Andrew looked at him in confusion.

“Mr. Campbell is on the phone with Mum”

He said by way of explanation. Andrew followed through to the family room not sure what to expect. He listened as his mum said ‘yes he is here’ over the phone and then she handed the phone to him. He didn’t take it and looked at her as if she had lost her mind. His mum put her hand over the mouthpiece.

“Mr. Campbell called to talk to you Andrew. Take this.”

She thrust the phone at him. Reluctantly he took it from her and put it to his ear.

“Mr. Campbell?”

He asked hesitantly.

“Hello Andrew. I asked your mother if I could talk to you. Today was a terrible day but you twice did something kind and selfless and I wanted to make sure that your parents knew, which they did, but I also wanted to thank you. You were stuck in a horrible dilemma and you did everything possible to ensure that it did not get worse. Leslie told us how you ended up in that room and how you got out to allow us some privacy and not have to face other people. She also told me, and I saw myself, how you comforted her when she broke down at the hospital. That was not a two minute thing either. She was gone for more than half an hour so you must have held her for nearly 30 minutes. You are a good young man and your parents should be very proud of you.”