Chapter 15

The carriage had finally stopped at Carlisle Estate. It was late afternoon, and Claudette and Benjamin had been traveling for two days. They were both absolutely exhausted, and while their servants unloaded their suitcases, they went straight upstairs to their, now shared, bed chamber. They both got undressed and enjoyed a bath together, before they got dressed to go to bed. They were too exhausted to have supper, they just lay down next to each other and almost immediately fell asleep. It was the first time they were to sleep together at the Carlisle mansion.

Benjamin awoke the next morning, uncertain as to what time it could be. It seemed to be quite early, but he couldn’t be sure. He looked at his wife lying down next to him. She was beautiful even now, with her hair spread across the pillow, snoring very slightly. Her silk nightgown almost exposed her entire left breast, and he felt his stomach flip. Benjamin’s throat felt dry as he stood up slowly, not wanting to wake her. He wanted her to rest as he went for a walk. He put on some trousers, a shirt, and shoes before leaving the house. The weather was nice and warm as he exited the home, walking through the gardens towards a small waterfall a while away. His thoughts were all over the place when he reached the waterfall and sat down on a large rock. Everything would now be back to normal. They were at their home, the home that was to be theirs for the rest of their lives. They would settle into a routine now, and it scared him more than he cared to admit. Oh how he wished he could be back at that villa ... He missed it more than he had thought he would. He had felt an anxiousness settle over him when they had stepped onto the train a few days earlier, and it hadn’t left him since. He couldn’t, for the life of him, understand why he was feeling this way. Possibly it could be because of Jon ... He was still uncertain as to how much the kiss had meant to Claudette. He still believed that there could never be an affair between Jon and Claudette, but Benjamin wondered whether he’d prefer a physical affair between them rather than the alternative of Claudette actually loving Jon.

Could it be possible that she loves Jon?

Throughout their entire honeymoon, Benjamin hadn’t noticed Claudette seeming unhappy or distracted at all – she seemed to, dare he say it, be falling in love with him, but he couldn’t be certain and he didn’t know whether he would ever be. The kiss between Claudette and Jon evidently, bothered him more than he had initially predicted. He felt so protective and possessive of her. He couldn’t share her with someone, not ever. It seemed crazy, but he hoped that she was with child already so that she may never leave him. A child would keep them together always – he could provide her with a family, and it would diminish any feelings she could possibly have for Jon. He wanted to believe that.

Benjamin finally walked back slowly to the mansion, thinking that Claudette may have awoken by now. His mind was so confused and so possessed by feelings he had never known. He was wading into deep waters, but would he be able to do so for much longer?

He reached the mansion and a servant was awaiting him at the door.

“My Lord, a letter has arrived for you,” she curtsied as she presented the letter.

“Thank you Mave,” he said, seeing the familiar handwriting of Lord Batten. He announced his arrival the following day, and it made Benjamin feel apprehensive – again, he didn’t know why. Benjamin groaned inwardly.

Is this how I’m going to feel for the rest of my life?

He convinced himself that it could be about the management of the combined estates, and that made him feel better. That which he had wanted for so long would be a reality soon.

But was it still what he wanted most? Before the confusion could strike again, Claudette came to meet him. His heart melted at her smile in his direction. She was wearing a beautiful green dress which matched the colour of her eyes. Her hair was loose in waves down her back, and she still seemed to contain the same excitement she had shown the past month. It made him weary more than it made him feel at ease.

After breakfast, he decided to start working immediately – he needed to distract himself from the unknown feelings he was experiencing. Claudette seemed disappointed at his intention to work on their first day back home, but when he informed her of her father’s intended visit, her gorgeous face lit up once more.

The following day, Lord Batten arrived at the estate promptly at 1 o’ clock. Claudette’s excitement was uncontainable as she greeted him, telling him how much she had missed him. They ate lunch together, all the while speaking about the honeymoon. It made Benjamin happy to hear her speaking so highly of it all. Her father seemed genuinely surprised at her happiness with Benjamin, and it made Benjamin feel ridiculously angry.

What did he expect? Why wouldn’t she be happy with me?

“Well then, my son-in-law, I hate to dampen the mood with talk of business, but I would like to request your company to speak about the management of our combined estates. Although the estates may not be combined soon, as I hope I may be around a while longer, I believe it may be best to discuss your involvement so I may rest assured you will be able to take care of my daughter.”

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself Papa,” Claudette said with a flash of anger in her eyes. Benjamin smiled at her stubbornness.

“Yes, my darling girl, I know. I apologise for phrasing it so incorrectly, but nevertheless, Benjamin, I require your attendance at the Batten Estate as soon as you are able so that we may discuss the way forward. Claudette, dear, you are, obviously, most welcome to join us, but I fear you already know everything there is to know about the estate, I would just like to bring your husband up to speed,” Lord Batten said with only a hint of teasing in his voice.

“Yes, my Lord, I will send notice of my arrival as soon as I am able to slip away. I am certain you understand that I am currently a bit busy after being absent for so long.”

“Oh yes, of course. I will await your notice then. Well, I suppose I’d better be off. It truly has been a wonderful afternoon. Thank you for having me,” he said, suddenly looking slightly nervous.

As they all rose to walk the man out to his awaiting carriage, he cleared his throat, “Oh, and just one other thing, I’ve neglected to mention, but I suppose you already know though. It’s about Jon.”

Benjamin felt the blood drain from his face as he heard his name. He noticed Claudette stiffen.

“Yes, well, he left Westville last night.”

An awkward silence followed. “For how long?” Claudette finally asked softly.

“Uh, well, permanently. He has a job overseas, you see.” Her father was visibly uncomfortable.

“He didn’t say goodbye,” she said, more to herself than anyone else.

Benjamin was shocked to his core. He didn’t know how to feel about the news.

“I spoke to him yesterday actually. He said to send his apologies as his new employer required him to start immediately. He didn’t have the time to wait for you to come back, unfortunately. He assured me that he’d send you a letter to convey his sincere apologies once he is settled and able to do so.”

Benjamin was certain that his father-in-law was lying, but nobody said anything further, and another uncomfortable silence followed.

“Uh, I’d better be off then,” Lord Batten said, leaving the room. Benjamin followed him out and greeted him at the door. His heart was racing as he made his way back to Claudette. She stood with her hands on the back of a chair, a frown evident on her face, but when she saw him standing there, she gained her composure as though nothing had happened.