Chapter 2

The school bell rang and Aiden Dalbert walked out of his class with his collection of bizarre friends. Being in an isekai, he had found out, was shockingly boring. Oh sure, it was all fun and games with the waking up confused in a new body and there was the jolt of new realization and awareness every few seconds of some new, confounding reality to the world. But really, at the end of the day, this new dimension he was in seemed pretty fucking normal. It was just a slightly above average Americanish city of the early 21st century – it was just populated with people yanked directly from video games, TV shows, cartoon shows, and god knows what else all with their names thinly altered. Very thinly.

Case in point, Aiden was walking out of his class with Luz Notceda.

That was her surname.

Notceda.

“That’s just lazy,” Aiden said, shaking his head.

“Hey, I worked really hard on my first magic spell,” Luz said, looking hurt.

“No, sorry, uh, I was ... talking to the fourth wall,” Aiden said.

“Ahh, I getcha!” Luz said, shooting him a pair of fingerguns, complete with little pew pew noises.

Still, past the surrealism of the basic premise, the actual nitty gritty of sitting in class, listening to his teacher drone on and on about shit he’d already learned last time he was in high school, all without TikTok to kill time was painfully mundane. There was a limit to how much surrealism could carry a brain, it seemed.

“So, what did Kyute want to talk to you about?” Dalann asked, brushing her brown hair back behind one ear as they ducked around some students heading the other way. Aiden knew he should have been freaking out about the fact that he was ninety percent sure he had just seen a Clark Kent expy walking by the other way, but instead, he just focused on Dalann. That was easy enough, she was stupendously beautiful.

“Oh, uh, she ... she...” Aiden said, trailing off.

Dalann sighed, slowly. “I assume it was at least a little vulgar.”

“And racist,” Evening Glitter said, leaning into the conversation.

“A little!” Aiden said. He wasn’t sure, exactly, how to say she told me to bang you like a drum to Dalann. He was actually suddenly acutely aware of the fact that he wasn’t entirely sure how the context of these people had changed from the original fiction they had been yanked from. Dalann, in her original context, under her copyrighted name, had been an alien ambassador with the political clout to declare war if need be. But also, she was a sharp, astute, cute girl who could tell he was lying. Mostly because Aiden knew he had a bad poker face. “S-She basically said some stuff about how I was important to the future of the multiverse and there was this, uh, thingy called a ... C- ... something or other?”

“Oh! You know what this means, Eve?” Luz asked.

Eve’s eyes brightened and the two girls stopped, grabbing one another’s hands.

“Library trip!” They said at the same time.

“They’re ... big into books, aren’t they?” Aiden whispered to Dalann.

“I find it quite charming myself,” Dalann said, then sighed and stretched her arms behind her. “I, for one, have had enough of reading old scrolls and tomes and religious texts in my old school.” She smiled. “Now, I mostly read new scrolls, tomes, and religious texts instead.” Her eyes sparkled, playfully, while Aiden laughed as Luz and Eve exchanged a rapid flurry of technical jaron, excited girl squeals, and Spanish – he actually noticed that Eve was able to hold her own in Spanish right back at Luz.

“When did you learn Spanish?” he asked. “Aren’t you a pony princess normally?”

“No, uh,” Eve said, turning to face him, putting her finger on her glasses and pushing them up. “That’s my alternate universe doppleganger, Princess Evening Glitter. She also goes to this high school, but she stays at her own place, so, keep an eye out of her!”

“Doesn’t that get confusing?” Aiden asked.

“Only to other people,” Eve said, smiling. “Oh, I have math now.”

“English!” Luz said, throwing her arm above her head. “Drama! Suspense. Romance~”

Aiden started. He swore he could hear that tilde. He checked his phone. “Ah, English for me too under ... Emelia Doppler. Huh. Sounds weird.”

“Oh she’s great,” Eve said, while Dalann smiled and waved, stepping back and away.

‘What do you have?” Aiden asked.

“Oh, ah, well ... physical exercise,” Dalann said, sighing. “It shall be ... a ... pleasant time outdoors, though.” She was clearly trying to say something positive without outright lying. It was a thing about her people. In the fictional TV show she was from. Aiden raised his hand in a commiserating way, before turning to follow after Luz.

“So, uhhh, what book are we currently on?” Aiden asked.

“Romeo and Juliet!” Luz said, nodding.

“Ah, the classics,” Aiden said.

The two of them arrived at the classroom to see a throng of other students at the front door, where two boys were standing, glaring at one another. “Did you just bump me?” one asked.

“Me!?” the other boy exclaimed, spreading his arms wide, glaring at the first boy. He paused, then whispered to the very bored looking green skinned girl that stood beside him. The green skinned girl was on her phone, tapping away, and was ... well, green skinned was slightly underselling how odd she looked. Her hair was thin, blade-like spines that emerged from her scalp like a frizzy pincushion. Her school uniform had two slits cut in the back for wings to emerge, though rather than feathers, these wings were sleek limbs of bone and blade that curved and arched ominously behind her. Her eyes were midnight black and her expression was pure cheerleader alpha bitch. “Is it against the rules, to bump him?”

“I will skin you alive if you touch me, Sampson,” the green girl muttered.

“I did bump someone,” Sampson said. “But did I bump you?”

“You dipshit!” The other guy said.

“I will kill both of you if you don’t shut the fuck up,” the green girl said.

“Sorry, Sarah,” Sampson said.

“Yeah, sorry, Sarah,” the other guy said.

“So, I take it Sarah’s a big wheel on campus?” Aiden whispered to Luz.

“Yeah. She’s the Queen of Knives,” Luz whispered. “Sarah Kerrigant.”

“ ... OH!” Aiden exclaimed. “From the game! The thing! ... League?”

“No, that’s Janx,” Luz whispered.

“Gentlemen, please, step aside, step aside,” a dignified voice spoke from the crowd. Students stepped aside and Sarah yelped as her phone was plucked from her fingers by a rather short, slim woman who was also most definitely a cat. Her ears were long and perky, her hair was auburn and cut short, and she had a figure that was as slim and knifelike as her tongue – for she swept the phone around in her hand and bopped it against Sarah’s forehead. “I seem to remember putting you in charge as the teacher’s assistant – and yet, all these riff raff are out in the hall and you’re on Dimensional Twitter, Miss Kerrigant.”

“I unlocked the door!” Sarah said, scowling as one of her blade-wings pushed the door to the classroom opened.

“Ahhh there is your problem: You failed to inform the class,” Professor Doppler said, lifting her finger up elegantly. “Please, everyone, enter, we have the Bard to grapple with today. And Mr. Capulet, I hope that you and your friend were not about to get into yet another fight outside my doors today.”

Sampson flushed. “I’m not friends with that Montague asshole!”

“Oh my god, WHAT!?” Aiden exclaimed. Everyone looked at him in shock, and Luz held up her hands, clearly trying to get him to calm down a bit. But it was too late. He pointed his fingers at Sampson and the boy he had been quarreling with. “You’re from Romeo and Juliet! Both of you! You’re from the play! The play we’re studying! In class!”

“Yeah?” Sampson asked, looking nonplussed.

“Ah, you’re the transfer student from Earth-Prime, Aiden Dalbert?” Professor Doppler asked, arching an eyebrow.

“He’s from the frigging play!” Aiden said, putting his hands on his head. He wanted to tear his hair out. He felt like some part of his brain had snapped – it was like he had been trying to accept everything that had happened but this was one last straw too far. “What’s next!? Romeo?”

“Sorry I’m late!” A devastatingly beautiful boy said as he jogged over, panting, trying to wipe lipstick smudge off his cheek. “Oh, hey, do I know you?” he asked, looking at Aiden, who gaped at the boy. He looked at him. He blinked.

“Leo?” Aiden whispered.

“No, Romeo,” Romeo said.

Aiden whimpered. Luz patted his head, saying apologetically over his shoulder. “I think Aiden’s having a bit of an existential panic attack,” she said, hastily.

“Do you need to go to the nurse?” Professor Doppler asked, concern filling her voice as Aiden wheezed and almost folded in half, sticking his head down between his knees. He lifted his arm, holding out his palm.

“No. Good. Just. Need a second.”

“Very good then, everyone, take your seats.”

Luz took Aiden by the arm and gently led him into the room, sitting him behind Sarah Kerrigant. Once there, Aiden realized the deep cleverness of Luz’s positioning – Sarah Kerrigant’s blade wings provided excellent cover from the front of the class. She leaned in close, whispering. “It’ll be okay. English is totes easy, it’s not like magic class.” She smiled at him. “Here.” She put a piece of paper on his desk, then scribbled a small, elegant circular glyph on it. The glyph flickered, glowed, then folded inwards and became a shimmering mote of light that floated before Aiden’s eyes before winking out like a momentary firefly.

Aiden smiled. “Neat trick,” he said, glancing at Luz.

She grinned back at him, just a bit shyly. “J-Just a little glyph magic I worked out with Mom Edie. She’s one of my Moms. I have two Moms.”

“Cool,” Aiden said, nodding. “Okay. I think I’m cooling out. Sorry.” He smiled, and noticed that Luz’s hands were still on his desk. His put his hand on hers, squeezing gently – feeling the warm smoothness of her skin. This sense kindled a flash of memory – of seeing her through the window when he had just woken up. His cheeks heated and, fortunately, he was saved from having to explain why because Luz’s cheeks were also darkening as she looked at him. The two of them glanced away from one another at the same time, and he jerked his hand back.

“Duuuuuuuude!”

Aiden jerked and snapped his head around. Kyute was sitting on the desk of the boy next to him – someone he didn’t recognize and didn’t want to bother to identify. Aiden could recognize that Kyute was using her love fairie magic, considering how she had just appeared out of thin air and, more importantly, zero people had noticed her. He sighed and looked pointedly forward.

“You can talk to me, no one will notice,” Kyute said. “So, Luz here is a turbonerd combined with being a bisexual disaster. She loves dudes, she loves girls, she’s horny and DTF. That’s down to fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“I know what DTF means!” Aiden hissed at her.

“Again, you can talk to me normal, no one will notice,” Kyute said, kicking her legs. “So, what’s your strategy to get down south cross the boarder and sample something spicy?”

“ ... Kyute ... you’re the fucking worst, you know that?” Aiden asked.

“I’m not the one putting the whole multiverse on the firing line because I’m too cockshy to pound some pussy,” Kyute said, frowning seriously. “I’m not lying here: If you do not fill that girl’s taco with some cream, then the whole multiverse will explode and it will be your fault.”

Aiden glared at her. “You know you sound like a racist incel wrote your dialog right?”

“Self insert says what,” Kyute snapped.

“What?” Aiden asked, but Kyute had vanished.

“Oh, I was just whispering about, uh, I think Romeo and Juliet really doesn’t get enough love in the broader zietgeist,” Luz whispered to him.

Aiden nodded, blushing. Hard. Luz was outstandingly cute, ridiculously nerdy, and ... well, he had seen that she was also fucking banging. He was pretty sure she was from some cartoon show or movie that he’d never heard of, but whatever the artistic licenses of this place were, the end result was ... goddamn. Then something horrible occurred to him. He sat upright, then whispered. “Luz, how old are you?”

“Eighteen,” she said, blinking. “Everyone at Dimensional High is eighteen.”

“Ohhhh thank god,” Aiden whispered.

“Why?” Luz asked.

That just sparked a new thought in his head: That’s proof. That’s proof that Kyute might not just be a horny problematic frat fairy. Like, if Kyute was right and he did have a cosmic mission to literally fuck every girl in this high school, the people who had designed this dimension had actually built it so that he could do it without a single ethical quandary. Save, of course, for the ethical issues of ... like ... if they had a boyfriend, or if they wanted to sleep with him. Except those weren’t quandaries, actually, those were just simple ass questions and the answer was ‘if they say no, don’t have sex with them, because that’s not sex, that’s rape.’

He could handle that.

“And now, we need some volunteers to read the balcony scene,” Professor Doppler said, smiling.

Aiden threw up his hand. “Luz and I will!”

“Very good,” she said, while Luz drew in a sharp breath, her eyes widening.

“W-Whoa! Whoa! I can write and draw pictures and make AMVs and stuff!” Luz whispered to him. “I can’t act.”

“Don’t worry, it’s just a scene reading,” Aiden said, flashing her a playful grin that made Luz’s cheeks darken. He took her hand and helped her up and they slipped past Sarah Kerrigant’s blade-wings and towards the front of the class. Romeo was near the front of the class, but it seemed that was less due to his academic credentials and more to do with the fact he was mooning over the teacher. Which ... fair. Professor Doppler handed both of them the scripts and Luz smiled.

“I guess I’ll be, uh, Romeo!” she said, laughing.

“Sure!” Aiden said, grinning at her.

“Yesss!” Luz pumped her fist, then coughed. She looked down at her script, then dropped to one knee. Her hand went to her chest. “But soft ... what light through younder window breaks?” She whispered, her eyes gleaming brightly – and Aiden felt, for a moment, like he was actually being perceived by a genuine romantic. He blinked ... and realized that he was looking down at Luz from a great height. He swept his gaze around himself, and yelped as he saw that he was dressed in a frilly dress with long flowing skirts. He stood before a balcony, his chest barely contained behind a sleek gown, and had flowers in his hair – which was rather too short for it. Because his body hadn’t changed at all, he was still a dude. He was just now a dude who was cross dressing, and standing on a balcony, looking down at Luz and...

Dang Luz looked good in Romeo’s outfit – because that was what she had to be in. Puffed collars, bright tunic, patterned hose for her sleek legs. She was surrounded by bright flowers that bloomed on coiling trellises and her eyes caught the light shining from the room behind Aiden, like she was a cat. “Dude!” she called out up to him. “We’re in a cutaway!”

“What?” Aiden asked.

“A cutaway!” she said, excitedly. “So, like, in this dimension, if something really evokes another moment, like, it can cut away to that moment.” She bounced excitedly. “It usually only lasts for a few seconds, just long enough for, like, a gag!” She spread her arms wide. “But we’re in this cutaway and it feels so real this is so cool!”

Aiden laughed, shaking his head. “Are you telling me this pocket dimension has Family Guy physics?”

“Yeah!” Luz said.

Aiden looked around his room and saw that there were no handy ropes. He was just about thinking about tying together some bedsheets when he heard a rumbling crackle and a crunching noise. He stepped to the balcony and saw that Luz was now above his eyeline – standing on a pillar of greenery and moss and bark that had grown from the ground, vines coiling together to create a platform. It was like plantlife had just ... emerged from the ground. She flicked some dirt from her finger and stepped off the balcony, standing a head shorter than him again as she looked him over. Her eyes widened. “W-Whoa...” she whispered. “Aiden, you ... you you ... you ... you ... dress!”

“Thanks,” Aiden said. “Don’t quite have the hair for it.” He smiled, reaching up to pick a rose from his too short hair – the motion causing the rest of them to fall out and dapple along the floor like a red targeting reticul around him in blood red blossoms. He held the rose out to her and smiled.

Luz snapped her head from side to side and jerked her eyes from his mostly exposed chest to his eyes. “Impressed! That! You know! You, uh ... you ... your masculinity is extremely...” she paused. “Firm. Er! Uh! I mean, uh, erect! I mean-”

“Secure?” Aiden asked ... then tucked the rose behind her ear. “You’re one to talk, Miss wears boy’s clothes.”

“Ha haaa, yeah, I’m a gender fuck aren’t I?” Luz murmured, blushing furiously. “You really do look good in a dress, you know.”

Aiden grinned. “Should we be, uh, practicing the lines?” he asked, reaching out and cupping her cheek.

“Cutaways are, um ... time, is ... wibbly and ... oh ... oh, fóllame ya...”