Chapter 13: Demon Decapitating Sabre of Heaven’s Monarch

What type of sabre would be able to chop a horse in half at a blow?

No one saw it. The sabre light flew out from within the woods to the side of the road. The carriage was over a hundred meters away from it. From here, neither man nor sabre could be seen. Fu Hongxue stood guard in front of Zhuo Yuzhen and the children. His eyes were still focused on that dense, forested area. His ashen pale face was so white, it was nearly translucent.

Yan Nanfei let out a breath. He immediately asked, “Did you see that sabre?”

Fu Hongxue shook his head.

Yan Nanfei said, “But you must know what sabre that was.”

Fu Hongxue nodded.

Yan Nanfei sighed. “It seems Gongzi Yu’s information is extremely accurate. Miao Tianwang really has come.” [Tianwang means ‘Heaven’s Monarch’].

Miao Tianwang’s sabre would naturally be the ‘Demon Decapitating Sabre of Heaven’s Monarch’!

Fu Hongxue tightened his hands. He coldly said, “I’m afraid that plenty of people have come.”

Just at this moment, two large wagons rolled up on each side of the road, sealing off both sides.

On top of one wagon was placed several wooden planks, upon one of which two people were playing chess. The second wagon had two people on top as well. One was trimming his nails, and the other was drinking. Each seemed to be very intent on what they were doing, and nobody so much as glanced aside.

It seemed as though Fu Hongxue and Yan Nanfei didn’t see them either.

On top of the wagon to the right, there were several women seated. Some were old, some were young. Some were embroidering, others were peeling melon seeds. Some were even combing their hair. The oldest one was the Ghostly Granny. On top of the second wagon was an open wooden coffin, as well as a large copper pot which hung off a steel peg.

It was said that the largest pot in the world was Shaolin’s rice-cooking pot. Shaolin had many monks who never tasted grease or oil, but worked hard all day. Naturally, the amount of rice they could eat was prodigious. If we estimate each monk as eating five bowls of rice per meal, how much rice would five hundred monks eat? How large must the cooking pot be, in order to allow all those monks to be full?

Yan Nanfei had gone to Shaolin once, just to see that pot. He was a curious man by nature.

It seemed as though the red copper pot on the car was no smaller than that of Shaolin’s cooking pot. What was even stranger was that there actually was someone in the pot. With a large face, a plump head and big ears. Many scars criss crossed his forehead, dropping down from it like venomous snakes. They stretched down, all the way from his forehead to his mouth. They made his face, which looked as though it originally would seem very gentle, appear unspeakably foul and evil.

The wagons were not moving very quickly. The copper pot gently waved, almost as though the man inside were resting in a hammock.

The dark clouds went far away. The sun once more rose up, but Yan Nanfei’s heart was sinking.

But he absolutely had to force himself to maintain a smile. He muttered to himself, “Unexpectedly, Duo Qingzi didn’t come after all.”

Fu Hongxue coldly said, “If the first strike does not land true, fully withdraw. This is the long-established rule of their Xingxiuhai sect.”

Yan Nanfei’s laughter seemed to become more cheerful. “Aside from him, it seems as though everyone who should come has come. Everyone who shouldn’t have come, came as well.”

He stared at the fatty with the scarred face in the copper pot. Smiling, he continued, “Chef Hao, why did you come as well?”

The ‘vipers’ on the fatty’s face were wriggling. He was smiling, but his smile made his face look all the more vicious and cunning. “I came to receive the remains.”

Yan Nanfei said, “What remains?”

Chef Hao said, “Any remains. I’ll receive a dead horse’s remains into my belly, and receive a dead man’s remains into a coffin.”

The wagons came to a full stop. The chess players continued to play chess, the drinker was still holding his cup, and the ladies brushing their hair continued to brush their hair.

Chef Hao laughed, “Looks like all of you will be lucky diners today. Chef Hao’s ‘Five Spices Horseflesh’ isn’t something that just anybody can taste.”

Yan Nanfei said, “Your specialty dish doesn’t seem to be the ‘Five Spices Horseflesh’.”

Chef Hao said, “It’s hard to find the materials needed for my specialty dish. It’s best if we just make do with the ‘Five Spices Horseflesh’.”

After he finished speaking those words, he hopped out of his pot and got off the wagon. If the people present hadn’t witnessed it with their own eyes, they would never have imagined that a fatty who weighed several hundred jin could move so quickly and agilely.

He also had a large knife on him. A vegetable knife.

Zhuo Yuzhen couldn’t help but ask, “Is Chef Hao really a good chef?”

Yan Nanfei said, “He’s a sham.”

Zhuo Yuzhen said, “Then why do they call him ‘chef’?”

Yan Nanfei said, “Because he likes to cook, and because he uses a vegetable knife.”

Zhuo Yuzhen said, “What is his specialty dish?”

Yan Nanfei said, “Flame-roasted human hearts, lightly fried human waists.”

The young woodcutter had just finished vomiting. As soon as he lifted up his head, he froze. Even in his wildest dreams, he never would have imagined that this place would have suddenly become so crowded.

Today, all he had eaten was two steamed buns and a few salted vegetables. He had already thrown up everything, leaving nothing behind in his stomach. But after he took a few more glances, he began vomiting again, even more than last time.

Chef Hao brandished his knife. With a single chop, he cut off a large piece of horseflesh and horse skin, then threw it into that copper pot. He chopped downwards with his right hand, and tossed meat upwards with his right. His hands moved up and down in tandem, his movements skillful and practiced. In the twinkling of an eye, the horse was chopped into over a hundred and thirty pieces, as easily as others chop tofu.

The horseflesh was in the pot. What about the five spices?

Chef Hao wiped the blood from his sabre off on the sole of his shoes, then walked back and opened up the coffin. The coffin was filled with all sorts of ingredients, oils, salts, sauces, vinegar, fennel, aniseeds ... any ingredients you could think of were in that coffin.

Chef Hao mumbled to himself, “We can use the broken, splintered carriage as kindling. By the time all the wood is burnt down, the flesh should be fully cooked.”

The man who was playing chess, Yang Wuji, suddenly said, “No need to make my share too sodden and mashed. My teeth are strong.”

Chef Hao said, “Daoist priests eat horse meat as well?”

Yang Wuji said, “Sometimes, I even eat human flesh, much less horseflesh.”

Chef Hao laughed. “Priest, if you really want to eat human flesh, if you’ll just wait a bit longer, there will be some ingredients here soon.”

Yang Wuji said, “I have been waiting this entire time. I’m not impatient at all.”

Chef Hao laughed loudly, then glanced at Fu Hongxue out of the corner of his eyes. “Human flesh enriches the blood. If you ate more human flesh, your face wouldn’t be so pale.”

While laughing, he lifted the more than three hundred jin heavy copper pot off the peg, then used the splintered wood from the crashed carriage to form a pile of firewood underneath the pot. The fire burned merrily, crackling and popping as the flames danced about.

The children began to cry again. Zhuo Yuzhen could only quietly open up her garments and feed them milk again.

Gongsun Tu, who was holding a wine cup in his hand, suddenly let out a breath. “What fair white skin.”

Chef Hao laughed. “What tender flesh.”

Ghostly Granny, who was cracking melon seeds, also let out a sigh. “What adorable children.”

Fu Hongxue only felt his stomach contract. The blue veins began to bulge out on the hand he was holding his sabre with, as though he had already pulled the sabre out.

But Yan Nanfei pressed his hand down. In a low voice, he said, “You can’t make your move now.”

Of course, Fu Hongxue could also tell that now wasn’t the time to move. Although these people were pretending to be leisurely, they were like a hornet’s nest. As soon as they moved, the consequences would be unthinkable. But so what if they didn’t move? If they continued to just waste time like this, would they really wait for them to eat horse flesh, then human flesh?

Yan Nanfei’s voice dropped even lower. He suddenly asked, “Do you know Du Shiqi, ‘Eight Lives and Eightfold Courage’?”

Fu Hongxue shook his head.

Yan Nanfei said, “Although this man isn’t a great hero, in my opinion, he has a more heroic air than any ‘real’ hero. I already arranged for him to meet with me in the ‘Heavenly Fragrance Teahouse’ of the town up ahead. So long as we can find him, anything can be accomplished. I am very good friends with him.”

Fu Hongxue said, “That is your business.”

Yan Nanfei said, “My business is your business.”

Fu Hongxue said, “I don’t know him.”

Yan Nanfei said, “But he knows you.”

The chess players were still playing chess. Everyone was still absorbed in their own activities, and paid them no mind at all, as though they were already dead men walking.

Yan Nanfei asked again, “Are you a very reasonable person?”

Fu Hongxue said, “Sometimes I am. Other times, I’m not.”

Yan Nanfei said, “Right now, are you at the point where you can’t help but be reasonable?”

Fu Hongxue said, “Seems so.”

Yan Nanfei asked again, “Can Zhuo Yuzhen and her child be allowed to die?”

Fu Hongxue said, “No.”

Yan Nanfei let out a sigh. “As long as you can remember this, everything will be fine. Let’s go.”

Fu Hongxue said, “Go? Go where?”

Yan Nanfei said, “As soon as you hear me say the words, ‘little doggy’, take Zhuo Yuzhen and her children onto that wagon and hide them in the coffin. I’ll handle everything else!”

He chuckled. “Don’t forget, my skill in running for my life is the best in the world.”

Fu Hongxue shut his mouth. Naturally, he understood Yan Nanfei’s meaning. Right now, he had no leeway whatsoever. No matter what, he could not allow Zhuo Yuzhen and the children to fall into these people’s clutches.

On the wagon where Ghostly Granny was seated, there were four other women. Aside from her, all of them were young, and all of them weren’t the slightest bit unattractive.

That is to say, they were attractive. The most attractive one was combing her hair. Her long hair was both black and gleaming.

Yan Nanfei suddenly said, “I hear that all in all, Miao Tianwang has over seventy or eighty wives.”

Ghostly Granny said, “He has eighty. He likes whole numbers.”

Yan Nanfei said, “I hear that no matter where he goes, he’ll bring four or five of his wives with him, because at any place and at any point in time, he might have need for them.”

Ghostly Granny said, “He is a vigorous and energetic man. His wives are all very fortunate.”

Yan Nanfei said, “Are you one of them?”

Ghostly Granny let out a sigh. “I very much want to be, but he scorns me for being too old.”

Yan Nanfei said, “Who says you are old? I think you are at least ten years younger than that old granny who is brushing her hair.”

Ghostly Granny laughed loudly, while the countenance of the girl brushing her hair changed. She glared hatefully at him.

Yan Nanfei grinned towards her. “Actually, you aren’t very old either. Aside from Ghostly Granny, you are the youngest one here.”

By now, everyone could tell that he was causing trouble on purpose. But none of them could guess what he wanted or what he was planning. Everyone who was earlier purposefully staring away from him couldn’t help but send a few glances his way.

Next, he went to Chef Hao. “Aside from cutting meat and chopping vegetables, what else is this knife of yours good for?”

Chef Hao said, “It can also kill people.”

The ‘vipers’ on his face began to wriggle again. “There’s not much of a difference between using a vegetable knife to kill people or a precious bejeweled sabre to kill people.”

Yan Nanfei said, “It’s a little different.”

Chef Hao said, “A little different?”

Yan Nanfei ignored him. Turning around, he opened the coffin, then mumbled to himself, “I didn’t expect you’d even have ground onions in here. I wonder if you have any hot peppers?”

Chef Hao loudly said, “How is it different?”

Yan Nanfei still ignored him. “Ah hah, here are the peppers. Looks like this coffin really is just like a full kitchen.”

Chef Hao was originally sitting, but now he rose to his feet. “Why won’t you speak? What, exactly, is the difference?”

Yan Nanfei finally turned around. Smiling, he said, “I’m not sure what the difference is, exactly, either. All I know is that ‘Five Spices Horseflesh’ braised in soy sauce should have some hot peppers in it.”

Carrying a string of peppers, he walked to the side of the copper pot. “There’s pretty much nobody who dislikes spicy food. Anyone who doesn’t eat spicy food is a little doggy.”

Chef Hao was so furious that his face had turned white with rage. Just at this moment, the sound of a horse neighing softly could be heard.