Chapter 8

Part 6: Conjugal Rights

Lady Jefferson’s view of what is important in a marriage doesn’t completely align with her new daughter-in-law’s and Amelia discovers that there is more than one way to skin a cat.

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The Dower House
Brinswark Estate
Nr. Eyam
Derbyshire
17/7/1902

Dear Lucy,

Yes, what you have heard from Mama is correct. Lady Jefferson is keen that I should get “with child” as soon as possible and that it had better be a daughter. (I am paraphrasing her words; naturally, she would not be so coarse!) For my own part I am in no rush, although of course it would be wonderful to present her Ladyship and dear Mama with a grandchild of whichever sex.

Beckworth has suggested a method to improve my chances of pleasing her ladyship in the matter of the child’s gender. Apparently, according to Beckworth, the male seed that will best fertilise an egg as a female child are the “slow, strong swimmers”. So, medical thinking – according to Beckworth - suggests having sex with James a few days before ovulating so that by the time the egg is ready only the required sperm are surviving. Fortunately the cage that restrains James’s manhood and the key that hangs constantly around my neck on its chain ensure James will be ready when I wish (whatever would my step-father say?!), so the only question is when.

Since I assume Beckworth is reporting back to her ladyship on progress, I have decided to go along with her suggestions, at least to the extent of not actively avoiding conception, in the interests of keeping everyone happy.

Unfortunately this involves James having his manhood caged for most of the month and while he has consented to this in order to please his mother (and because he quite expects to do as he is asked by a woman and especially his wife), he undoubtedly finds it a trial. Not only that, it severely limits the amount of amusement he seems able to give me.

I must confess that I was not entirely happy with that aspect of things. Having embarked on a life in which the sexual act plays a part, I was hardly keen to restrict the pleasure to a monthly routine (however much fun that may be – I fear I am learning to quite enjoy teasing James and he is so conditioned to the idea of an assertive woman that he shows not the least resentment of his lot and indeed is even encouraged by it).

I’m very much afraid, at the risk of scandalising you, that our sexual games are far too much fun to be limited to such a regime!

I said as much to Beckworth and, helpful as ever, she has sprung to my aid. I will tell you of her suggestions, though this must be our secret.

I am sure that in all the encounters with boys back in De Helder, none ever suggested using their tongues on our most intimate areas. Have you ever heard of such a thing? My recollection is that the main objective for the boys seemed largely to involve getting their grubby hands inside our dresses or, worse still, our knickers. However, Beckworth assured me that a woman can be brought to a state of arousal by her sexual partner’s tongue. I admit that I thought this sounded unlikely and I said that my own experience of men sticking their tongue in my mouth did not encourage me to have them stick it anywhere else. Beckworth said that I should not allow a few bad experiences to colour my judgement and offered to show me how it could be done properly, so that I could then introduce James to the idea.

At first I had some reservations about indulging in sexual play with another woman (indeed, with anyone apart from with my husband) but Beckworth said I should not worry for it was only by way of instruction and so quite permissible. She seemed surprised at my reticence and said that it was quite the normal thing in England for women to enjoy intimate relations with one-another as well as with their husbands.

She said that I should not feel in any way embarrassed and I took her advice as best I could, feeling that if such was the common practice, then at least I should take the opportunity to try. At first it seemed most improper and I felt very uncertain, but Beckworth was at great pains to put me at ease, to progress things slowly and to explain what she was up to in such a way as to allow me to understand what was going on.

I am so glad that Beckworth took the trouble to demonstrate. I must say it is a most welcome innovation. When it comes to improving the human condition, I would even hazard it a better invention than the dirigible airship, the telegraph and the steam engine combined!

Beckworth proved herself most effective with her tongue on my fanny and, goodness, the pleasure that can be gained in this way is considerably greater than I have so far experienced from penetration by the male organ (That may be because James’s cock does not seem very large to me, although I really don’t have anything to compare it with.) Goodness, I now realise how much I have been missing from the love play I have enjoyed with James. It seems that not only can the woman enjoy the sense of being joined with her husband but a whole galaxy of other sensations can be released by skilful touches. There is no reason why James cannot become proficient in such matters. His deft touch with a paint brush will just have to be extended to other areas! I insisted that Beckworth repeated the process several times and allow me to do the same to her in order to make sure I understood exactly what was going on. She seemed happy to do so, if the look of abandoned pleasure on her face at the conclusion of our efforts is anything to judge by. The poor girl seemed quite as worn out as I was – a remarkable occurrence since I have never seen her the slightest bit fatigued by her domestic chores.

So I was decided; James would learn to pleasure me in this way for most of the month while his manhood is caged, leaving every opportunity to conceive a daughter at the appropriate point in my cycle. He expressed himself somewhat resistant to the idea but in my time in England I have learned not to put up with such objections and with Beckworth’s assistance he was placed at the foot of the bed, in restraints with a suitable silencer in place, where he could watch Beckworth and I demonstrate what was required of him. At first I thought the process angered him as he became quite agitated. It soon became apparent, though, that his distress was being caused by his cock attempting to expand within its cage. It seemed that he found the whole thing quite arousing. I asked Beckworth if this might cause a problem; for him to be so discomforted on a regular basis. She replied that I need not worry for, in her experience, the male organ is very robust and while he may find it uncomfortable he will not suffer permanent distress. I spoke with James afterwards and he confirmed what Beckworth had said. In fact he feels that a little discomfort is a small price to pay for my happiness. I cannot but admire his generosity. I am sure he will get used to doing things my way.

Beckworth has explained that I should not expect James to acquire competency in these activities too quickly as few men manage to get the idea immediately. Of course, she said, she would be happy to see that I did not go wanting in this area, which seemed an excellent idea. I said that I would tell her Ladyship how helpful she had been but she insisted that I do not, as she does not wish to draw attention to the fact that James is needing this support. What a truly considerate girl she is!

Oh dear! You do not think that I am being drawn to follow the path that some of the other girls we know were, do you? I am thinking of Anya and Henke who seemed to spend all their time together and cared nothing for boys. The boys, I remember, made great fun of them. It now seems to me that the boys must have been quite jealous and afraid of the idea of women engaging in sexual pleasure that did not include men. It must have appeared to them that the whole male purpose was put under question. On my side, though, I cannot see the problem with it. Saying that you should not enjoy pleasure with your own gender for fear of becoming disenchanted with the other is as absurd an idea as imagining that if you eat herring you will suddenly give up liking pork.

Well, in any case, I am determined to enjoy myself as much as I can. I have always espoused sexual equality and in exercising my sexual preferences I am doing no more than any man in Brabant would expect to do. (Do boys, engage in such play with one another too, I wonder?) Besides, I am quite enjoying my delightful activities with Beckworth and see no shame in it. She is completely untroubled by it and, I suspect, views it as a welcome change from polishing brass, cleaning floors, making beds and all her other myriad tasks. She takes great pride in her domestic skills and claims that those households in which men are required to carry out such work are never really as well run. She gives the same serious attention to our sexual games as she does to her domestic duties which reassures me. And, after all she is only providing me with the instruction and support that Lady Jefferson so obviously intends.

Still enough of me. How are things with you? Have you found a way to subvert your father’s wishes yet? Is he still expecting you to accept one of the De Helder men as a husband? Is is possible that you could find some way to visit me? Oh, how I would love to see you! I am sure you would love to meet James. He is in every sense the considerate, attentive mate that we both dreamed of; quite my Prince Charming. I am sure you would find English men more acceptable than any in Brabant, and here society allows a woman to take control of her own life. You would enjoy it here, I am certain.

Your loving friend,

Amelia

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The Dower House
Brinswark Estate
Nr. Eyam
Derbyshire
19/7/1902

Dear Mama,

I continue to be surprised by the peculiar differences between life in Brabant and life here. In one respect, it now seems that I am viewed as having rather radical views.

You will know that, irrespective of who it is that takes the decisions in the marriage, I had always felt that the relationship should be one of mutual affection and respect. For all Papa’s faults and antediluvian views, I never felt that he belittled you or had anything other than the kindest regard for you. I might not have agreed with him on many things, but I believe he genuinely felt that his decisions were for the best.

Here, I fear, men are thought to be of no consequence, their views are seen as unimportant and many women seem to show them little, if any, affection. I find such views hard to fit with the desire to share my life with someone I can relate to as an equal. And, even though I may not have chosen James for myself, I believe firmly that mutual affection is the key to a happy life and we have it within our grasp.

It seems that, in one respect at least, I have attracted Lady Jefferson’s concern for, during afternoon tea yesterday, she said to me, “Is it true that you and James are still sharing a bed?”

Well, it certainly is and I felt I should be honest so I said so, in as respectful a way as I could manage.

Lady Jefferson seemed to think it most eccentric that this should happen at all apart from for the purpose of engaging in conjugal activities, saying that she and her husband had enjoyed the comfort of separate beds (and indeed, separate bedrooms – the benefit I must assume of living in a house in which I have counted at least twelve such rooms) for their entire married life and so indeed had all of her acquaintances.

I was anxious not to offend Lady Jefferson, for she has been very kind to me, but I said that I was not prepared to banish him to some corner of the Dower House and that he and I wished to enjoy as much of our lives together as we could.

I said how much I would miss waking in the small hours and feeling the warmth of his body beside me or hearing in the dark, the quiet snuffling of his breath. Even his snores can be quite adorable. Lady Jefferson remarked that I should get a dog for that, which I thought at first very amusing until I realised she was quite serious. In the end, though, I think that she could see how much affection I have for her son and said that while it might not be for her, perhaps she should not disapprove of modern ways. She went on to say that it probably does not matter provided the purpose of our union (I assume she meant the provision of a daughter and heir) was ultimately achieved. I do find her single-minded attitude to the business of continuing her lineage a little tiresome but I suppose she is as much a prisoner of her own social standards as I once felt I was.