Chapter 11

Part 9: Betrayal

As married life continues, Amelia has to confront an unpleasant situation...

The Dower House

Brinswark Estate

Nr. Eyam

Derbyshire

22/9/02

Dear Lucy,

How are you? How is Paris? Are there exciting things happening at Femmes De Siecle? I long to hear from you. It seems weeks since your last letter.

I expect to be able to visit soon.

It will be wonderful to share all our news and see each other once again.

Monique, who helped me to arrange things for you in Paris, sends her regards and hopes all is well. Perhaps you could help me with something. I am very keen to get in touch with the company planning to build the monorail in the Bois de Boulogne. I believe I can provide them with an introduction that would be advantageous. Could you at least discover a name for their general manager or the like. That would be a great help.

All is agreeable between James and myself. He has been working hard at his painting, taking great delight in the colours emerging in the woodland around the park as autumn comes on. We are continuing with Beckworth’s plan for improving my chances of becoming pregnant with a daughter. James accepts his cage stoically but, oh, how evident is the effect of his pent-up frustration on the days when his manhood is uncaged (this is more regular than I had expected since it is essential from him to be shaved in that area to avoid discomfort and, goodness, how quickly a man’s hair grows on that part of his body!).

In between our attempts at procreation, I am still working with Beckworth to try to teach James to pleasure me in ways that are infinitely more amusing than those involving him penetrating me. While he is improving he still has much to learn. He really does not seem to grasp the geography of my nether regions. Given the way that the British trumpet the triumphs of their explorers around the world you might imagine it would be possible for their men to find the way around the areas at the top of a woman’s legs. It seems not!

Beckworth suggested that communication could be improved by using my riding crop to tap on his back when his head is buried between my thighs. We have developed a code with short taps to indicate left / right / faster / slower and so on. It has helped but I think James, curious boy, quite enjoys the blows from the crop and sometimes forgets that he is supposed to be responding to the directions, not simply surrendering himself to punishment. I am having to spend much time with Beckworth demonstrating the proper way to do things and, as before, that only seems to arouse him more, which really is not the point. Still, I must confess that I enjoy the demonstrations more than I ought for Beckworth certainly has no problems in the matter of navigating my most intimate areas.

It is all rather complicated as I really do need to maintain a correct relationship with Beckworth and I wonder if I give her too much encouragement.

Sometimes it is such a relief to take some time to seek out Anna in the engine house. Beckworth, as I feared, is rather jealous of my friendship with Anna. (She made a great deal of fuss about having to get some stains caused by coal dust from the seat of my skirt when she laundered it last week.) I cannot understand why if, as she had always claimed, our play together was purely educational. It may be that she suspect that there is more than talk going on between Anna and I but in spite of my fantasies our meetings remain platonic.

I know it all sounds very complicated but for the most part life here proceeds at the quiet pace of any well-run country estate. Lady Jefferson continues ot be a source of helpful advice, although I have not confided in her about my activities with Beckworth.

Keep well and enjoy your new found freedom.

With all my love,

Amelia.

The Dower House

Brinswark Estate

Nr. Eyam

Derbyshire

15/10/02

Dear Lucy,

Oh, how enjoyable our meeting was! But how devastating my return!

It was so wonderful to see you and Paris was every bit as thrilling as I had imagined. It was so good to see that you are unbowed by your experiences and that you feel you have made the right decision. I am certain you have. Whatever the future brings, at least you will know that it has been the result of your own choices. If you should wish to come to England then, of course, I will do all I can to help. I am sure you would adapt to society here just as well as I feel that I have.

I was about to say that when you meet James you will be able to see what a pleasure it is to have a respectful and attentive man in your life but instead I must tell you of the shock that I had on my return home...

After I left Paris, I heard that the ferry was delayed and I telegraphed James so that he would not worry if I did not get back as planned. In the event, the weather in the Channel cleared sooner than expected and I arrived home much earlier than I – and it seems James - had anticipated.

To my horror, I arrived at the Dower House to interrupt James and Beckworth engaged in some sort of game that was not at all appropriate. It involved James being quite naked except for one of Beckworth’s aprons while she sat, in one of my dresses, would you believe, so that James could wait upon her. It was perfectly obvious from the situation that she and James had been involved in some sexual games beyond anything I would have sanctioned.

I sent the girl, packing back to the Hall, at once. You cannot imagine my sense of betrayal. She had enjoyed a very comfortable position with me and I had greatly enjoyed our intimate encounters but to take such advantage of my absence is unforgivable.

I made sure that Lady Jefferson was fully informed of the girl’s actions. Her ladyship was completely sympathetic and called for the girl at once to dismiss her from her service. I am certain that Beckworth will get no reference for future employment. Her pleadings that James had coerced her made her situation worse. Neither Lady Jefferson nor myself could believe such a thing, although I suspect he put up little resistance. I do feel a little guilty that she has been completely deprived of her livelihood for such a foolish mistake, but I could not consider her continuing in her role and Lady Jefferson felt that she could no longer trust her either.

Lady Jefferson suggested that I should fit James with a more restrictive cage, since the current device is obviously (on the strength of what I saw of him with Beckworth) not acting as a sufficient deterrent to erections. She showed me a fearsome looking device that she uses on her husband if she suspects him of errant thoughts. It is studded on the inside and would be most uncomfortable in the event of arousal, I am sure. I am not really convinced that James needs such a device but if there is any repetition of the events with Beckworth I may well change my mind. I have let him know that I am considering such a device and he seemed daunted by the thought.

In defence of her son, Lady Jefferson said that I should not blame James as it is difficult for a man to defy a woman, even a housemaid. My understanding of men’s behaviour is that they might find it difficult in England but that in Brabant they are only too willing to engineer such situations. While understanding James’s difficulties, I am, you will understand, furious. While in the past I have found it difficult to follow Beckworth’s guidance on punishing James, on this occasion I certainly did not need any urging. I ordered him across my knee and spanked him as hard as a could until he was quite sobbing, his buttocks were sore and my arm was quite exhausted. I am sure that from his yelps and sobs, my efforts exceeded any amusing fantasies he may have had of being punished by a woman. In any case, it seemed to have the desired effect of letting him know that I was extremely displeased with him. Certainly James was very contrite afterwards and promised me that nothing similar would ever happen again. I am not sure I believe him. He is very weak-willed in the face of a determined woman. I will have to help him by ensuring that his opportunities to misbehave are limited.

With Beckworth gone, Lady Jefferson has assigned another of her staff to assist at the Dower House. Hasty – as the new maid is called – is a rather older individual and while she may not have Beckworth’s energy, she seems a more steady influence and is likely to be less of a distraction for my poor husband. At least he finds her more intimidating than he did Beckworth. Sadly I have lost my tutor in sexual matters. I am afraid that Hasty has a rather homely air that does not appeal to me. If I am going to continue my education in these areas, I can see that I will have to spend more time in the library!

James has been thoroughly apologetic, claiming that the events with Beckworth were out of his control (which I partly believe) and that, in any case, the cage that confines his manhood had remained locked throughout as I had the only key (which was certainly true). I told him that claiming his chastity remained intact just because he had no opportunity to be faithless was hardly a moral position. He was suitably abashed.

I found the whole business deeply disturbing. I felt really quite guilty about having to dismiss Beckworth, although I could hardly have ignored the matter. I even questioned my motivation in punishing James as severely as I did. By late in the afternoon I was feeling a great, dark cloud of depression pressing down on me. I resolved to take a walk in the grounds in an attempt to clear my head. I was so distracted as a consequence of James’s betrayal of me and from Beckworth’s too, as well as from my own reaction that, in my anguished confusion, I almost wandered into the path of one of the estate’s steam engines. It was only the blast of the vehicle’s whistle that brought me to my senses as it skidded to a halt.