Chapter 17

At lunchtime that day I eluded Timothy and the rest of the gang. I walked around looking for a pharmacy, and when I did, not too far from school, I stood there uncertainly for a while. Finally I decided that there was no reason to be embarrassed at my age, and walked in. I was all geared up to have to ask the pharmacist, as I’d seen in humorous movie scenes, but the condoms were displayed in a rack right next to the cashier’s counter. That was almost worse; there was a pretty Asian-looking woman at the checkout, and I had no idea at all how to choose condoms, but I steeled myself, looked at the rack as if I knew what I was doing, and selected a medium-sized black and gold box with a familiar brand name. It said “skins,” which sounded nice; I liked skin.

At the last moment, I noticed a bigger box yellow box in the rack next to the condoms: it said “ept” on it. Early Pregnancy Test. I’d had no idea you could just buy a pregnancy test in a drugstore, but it seemed like a prudent thing to do, so I selected one as well, and handed both to the cashier. She impassively rang me up and I all but emptied my wallet — the pregnancy test kit wasn’t cheap. Oh well. The cashier handed me my purchase in a white paper bag and I stuffed it into my backpack before leaving the store.

When I got back to school, I was surprised to run into Timothy; I hadn’t been gone that long and I’d imagined that he would be with the others at Ambrosia. But he had been looking for me and hadn’t eaten yet. I felt bad, and also hungry. “Hey,” I suggested, “we still have time to get pizza at Franks, if we hurry.”

We ran all the way there, laughing, ordered pepperoni slices. I teased Timothy: “don’t you want eggplant and garlic?” He giggled, but pointed out, quite practically as always, that Frank’s didn’t have eggplant and garlic slices ready to go, we didn’t have time to wait, and besides — “besides,” interjected the guy behind the counter, hearing us, “we don’t have eggplant pizza. You wanna eggplant parm hero? You sit down, I make you eggplant parm hero.” “It’s OK,” I said hurriedly, “we’re in a rush. Maybe next time.” An eggplant parm hero sounded pretty good, actually, though I wasn’t completely sure what it entailed. We grabbed our slices, wolfed them down and jogged back.

At home, Lily smiled at me conspiratorially from the living room couch, sending shivers up and down my back. Dad wasn’t home yet, and Mom was in the kitchen, so I motioned for her to follow me. She came into my room, looking curious, and I half-shut the door — enough that Mom couldn’t see in if she happened to come by, but not so much that we might be accused of being up to something.

I sat on the bed and took the white bag out of my backpack. “Lil, look. I got this” — I showed her the pregnancy test kit — “and these. So we don’t have to worry.” I wasn’t sure if Lily even would know what this all was but she nodded, and I remembered health class at my fairly progressive private school had covered these topics at around the same age. “So, let’s see if you’re pregnant.”

Lily looked excited, but when I opened the ept box and read the instructions, I was disappointed to discover that we were supposed to wait until Lily had missed a period. I knew she had gotten hers quite early — I remembered being proud of myself for realizing — and she’d been quite regular, wearing panties to bed a few days a week each month while we were still bedding together. I had no idea when she was due, though, and she said “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you if it doesn’t come. It’s not for a couple weeks.”

I was no expert but with several years of health class and avidly reading the “Changing Bodies, Changing Lives” book a few years ago, that didn’t sound too good to me. Wasn’t two weeks before her period precisely when a girl ovulated, when she was most likely to get pregnant? I wasn’t 100% sure but it seemed likely to me.

I decided there was nothing to do but wait a couple of weeks and not think about it too much. “Anyway, Lil - I have these, you know, to put on if ... if we, you know, do that again. Just to be safe.” She smiled and said, “Oh, Robbie, I can’t wait, it was so nice.”

I felt myself getting hard. She looked so beautiful, standing there in front of me, just a little gangly — she was still in the midst of a growth spurt — with her odd, neither-this-nor-that haircut, her fingernails painted purple (it was a thing, I gathered, at her school), her little breasts unfairly restrained under her blouse, her soft eyes and the half-smiling, half-serious expression on her face. She smelled nice — I could sense her own scent, but also some unfamiliar fragrance; maybe she had capitulated on the deodorant or whatever it was. Regardless, it only added to her appeal.

I stood up and pulled her into a kiss. She pressed up against me, and I knew she could feel my hardness against her jeans. I put my hands under her blouse, rubbed them up and down her bare back, and after a while pushed up her bra and moved my hands around to her hard nipples.We stood that way for while, kissing, with me playing with her breasts, until we suddenly heard the distant voice of my mom. My dad had just come home, and was talking to him the front hall; yes, there was his voice too, greeting her.

Reluctantly, I took my hands away and we broke the kiss. Lily looked a little disheveled; she was pink in the face and breathing quickly. “Lil, we’d better...” She nodded and pulled her bra back over her breasts, smoothed her blouse down. After a minute to calm down, we went out to the hall to greet Dad.

That night, Lily wanted to come in as soon as she was ready for bed, but I pointed out that it would be far too risky with out parents still awake. I didn’t think they were actually checking or anything, but that seemed far too blatant. Lily said, “But I won’t be able to sleep, I can hardly wait.” I knew how she felt; I was trembling with anticipation too. But wait we must. I kissed her good night, turned out the light, and tried to fall asleep, to no avail.