Chapter 63: California Dreamin’

December 27, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

“How was Christmas otherwise?” Clarissa asked.

“Holly is pregnant again and Elaine asked me to marry her.”

“You said ‘no’, of course.”

“Of course. She seems to have a thing for older guys, but I encouraged her to find a guy a year or two older at the High School. Hopefully, she’ll heed that advice. That wasn’t the only marriage proposal I had since you and I last spoke.”

“Not Kari, because you aren’t at that point. Not Tasha, because you told her in no uncertain terms to go away. Not Lara, because she’s the most practical, pragmatic person we know, and she wouldn’t ask before you’re ready, and you aren’t. That leaves one of Serafima’s stable of nubile girls!”

“Yesterday, Sara proposed we marry the Sunday after her eighteenth birthday next September. She made a pretty convincing argument, too.”

“Seriously?”

“She excused herself to use the powder room and returned wearing only black lace underthings!”

Clarissa laughed and shook her head, “Unreal. And?”

“And, like Roger Moore in For Your Eyes Only, I told her to get dressed, though I didn’t offer to buy her an ice cream.”

“I bet she wasn’t happy.”

“She actually wasn’t upset, and simply shifted her argument to a French kiss with her body pressed against mine, which created the reaction she wanted and then she said she couldn’t wait to feel me inside her! I resisted, but once again, she wasn’t upset.”

“Because she’s seventeen?”

“More because I felt she’d take going to bed together as a pledge of some sort. I suggested she bide her time and let me get past my emotional struggles. She was very mature about the whole thing, and I’m sure she’ll ask again.”

“Who’s next?”

“Susana from Holy Transfiguration.”

“Maybe you’ll get a look at those gargantuan boobs!”

“I suspect she’s only helping out; she’s at OSU and is working on a degree. I don’t get the impression from the girls I’ve spoken to that any of the remaining girls other than Natalie is interested, and she just wants to escape living at home. That’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Lizochka wanted to escape her mom, but that wasn’t her motivation.”

“No, it wasn’t. It was a side benefit. I know who the dark horse might be.”

“Oh?”

“My grandmother has a friend in Columbus with a granddaughter who, to quote my grandma, ‘needs a husband’.”

Clarissa broke up laughing and it was several minutes before she stopped.

“The girls from Saint Michael are going to be VERY upset if a girl from Columbus snatches you away from them!”

“Less than if Kari does,” I said. “After I left church on Friday, she showed up for Liturgy, discovered I wasn’t there when she saw Rachel with Serafima, then asked Serafima where I was. Serafima said I’d left, and Kari came to the house to check on me. We spent the morning talking.”

“I think the odds just changed heavily,” Clarissa observed.

“Yes and no. When I explained what had happened, without the details I provided to you, Kari made a comment about wondering why I’d go to any church, let alone back to Saint Michael. I explained, but I think that’s a stumbling block, in addition to the one she stated clearly about the ‘instant mom’ situation.”

“Sara obviously doesn’t have that problem, or she wouldn’t have asked you to marry her. I know Lara can’t have that problem because she’s basically Rachel’s surrogate mom. What about the other girls?”

“I think it’s a concern for Oksana, but not a major one. It certainly is for Irina who made it clear she wants to have fun in college before she’s tied down.”

“So no bondage for her yet?” Clarissa smirked.

I laughed, “You are bad, young lady!”

“I love being able to tease you!”

“Obviously!”

“Continue...”

“Maryam could handle it,” I said. “Though she has exactly the same challenges I do with how much time she could give to a relationship, not to mention the added problem of timing for her baby. That’s the same struggle for all of you who are genetically deficient!”

“I’ll take redundancy over diversity! It helps avoid all those diseases passed on by X chromosomes.”

“So you admit X is deficient!” I teased.

Clarissa rolled her eyes, “I like being a girl! And you absolutely like me being a girl!”

“I do. And not for what we’re doing next Saturday. It’s about having a confidante with a female perspective.”

“It always has been,” Clarissa said. “With both Jocelyn and me.”

“That said, I’m very much looking forward to next Saturday!”

“So are we!”

I had to go to the ER for a consult, so Clarissa left, though I saw her again that evening at 7:55pm when I was going off shift and she was coming on.

“One admission,” I said. “The ER consult was a toddler who decided to swallow the AAA batteries from his new toy.”

“How is he?”

“Fine. They sedated him and used an endoscope to remove the batteries. He’s staying overnight because of the sedation. His mom is rooming in. The other two are going to be discharged in the morning.”

“You’re having dinner with the Malenkovs tomorrow night, right?”

“Yes. Breakfast with Lara, my dad’s parents are visiting, lunch with Kari, then dinner.”

“And Annette is visiting Tuesday, right?”

“That is the plan,” I replied. “I expect she’ll call to confirm tomorrow.”

“Then I guess I’ll see you at shift handover on Thursday evening.”

We hugged, and I headed home to Rachel and Lara.

“Tasha called,” Lara said after she greeted me with a hug. “She sounded upset.”

“It’s her own fault,” I replied. “What did she say?”

“She wants you to call her ‘right away’.”

“I’m sure she does,” I said. “But Sunday evenings are our opportunity to play house, and I’m not taking one minute away from that!”

Lara laughed, “You are such a nut!”

“But that is what it is, isn’t it? A trial run without a commitment? To see if what we think might be true actually is? Well, and for you to have an opportunity to explore your sexuality with someone whom you consider safe beyond any doubt, who’ll do anything you want, and will ensure you have all the orgasms you can handle!”

Lara laughed softly, “Don’t be so sure about that last one! I can handle a lot!”

“OK, sufficient orgasms?”

“For sure! Dinner is ready, and Rachel is in front of the fire. She loves it there. She’s like my cat that way!”

“Pussy by the fireplace?” I teased.

“After the Tsarina goes to bed, it’s a date! We could bring down pillows and blankets and stay there all night.”

“As you wish!”

December 28, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

Lara and I woke up on Monday morning when we heard Rachel stirring via the baby monitor. We put on robes and Lara went to the kitchen to make Rachel’s bottle while I went upstairs to change Rachel’s diaper. I decided to bring the rocking chair in front of the fireplace and a very appreciative Rachel gurgled happily before accepting the bottle of formula.

“What would you like for breakfast?” Lara asked.

“We’re not fasting, so bacon, sausage, and eggs sounds good!”

“One heart attack on a plate coming up!” Lara teased.

“Actually, some nutrition experts are questioning the high-carbohydrate, low-protein diet, especially for anyone with diabetes. I read the research that Banting did about controlling diabetes with diet and it’s compelling. And the links between serum cholesterol and dietary cholesterol are speculative and tenuous at best.”

“Interesting. Toast and juice?”

“Yes.”

“Does your coffee restriction apply now that we aren’t fasting?”

“No, but I’m actually feeling better since I cut back on the caffeine. One cup will do.”

“OK.”

I fed Rachel and then rocked a bit with her until breakfast was ready. I put her in her carrier and covered her with a blanket because the kitchen would be much cooler than sitting in front of the fireplace.

“Do you have a problem with me being here when your grandparents are here?”

“No. My grandfather already believes I’m going to Hell, so why worry?”

Lara shook her head and rolled her eyes, “Dutch Calvinism makes zero sense to me.”

“Me, either, but what would you expect from a French-speaking lawyer who reads a redacted version of the Bible and ignores 1500 years of theology?”

“Not much, I guess. But he won’t say anything, will he?”

“No. The only thing my grandfather fears more than being in the hands of an angry God is being in the hands of an angry wife!”

Lara laughed, “I’m detecting a pattern.”

“The difference is he doesn’t admit that the women are actually in charge!”

“And you’re going to have at least two women directing your life!”

“And I’ve acknowledged that with Rachel’s nickname!”

The phone rang, and I got up to answer it, hoping it wasn’t Tasha, though I didn’t think she’d call at such an early hour.

“Mike Loucks,” I said.

“Mike, it’s Mom. Liz is in labor.”

“When did it start?”

“Around 4:00am. She hasn’t gone to the hospital yet, but the contractions are regular and around ten minutes apart. Her water hasn’t broken.”

“Good report!” I chuckled. “I expect it’ll be at least six to eight hours.”

“I agree. I’m heading over now, but I won’t go to the hospital with her.”

“Keep me posted, please. I’ll let Grandma and Grandpa Loucks know. They’ll want to see the baby before they go home. Liz said she was OK with that.”

“I’ll remind her.”

“Thanks.”

We said ‘goodbye’ and I went back to the table.

“Rachel will probably have a cousin before the day ends,” I said.

“Cool. You realize I’m going to look as if I swallowed a watermelon if I have your kids! I’m a foot shorter than you are and I can’t imagine you’ll have a small kid! Rachel sure wasn’t!”

“I thought Elizaveta was sexy when she was pregnant!”

“You would have thought Elizaveta was sexy if she was wearing a burlap bag!”

“Truth.”

We finished breakfast, did the dishes together, then went upstairs to shower and dress. Once we were dressed, we returned to the great room where Lara gathered the blankets and pillows. I made sure there was no evidence of anything to which my grandparents would object, and instead of using incense, I sprayed a bit of air freshener on the off chance there was some lingering smell of several hours of very enjoyable sex in front of the fireplace.

The doorbell rang just before 9:00am and I greeted my paternal grandparents and invited them into the house. After taking their coats and hanging them in the closet, I ushered them into the great room.

“Grandma, Grandpa, this is Laura Bragg, who is Rachel’s primary caregiver. Laura, Mr. and Mrs. Loucks, my dad’s parents. And, of course, this is Rachel.”

I used Lara’s public name, Laura Sera Bragg, as it was only amongst our Russian friends and Clarissa that she was known by her birth name, Larisa Sergeyevna Federova, or Lara.

They greeted each other as I picked up Rachel from the floor and she expressed her displeasure, but thankfully didn’t complain about being held by her great-grandmother.

“She’s a cute little thing,” my grandfather said.

“Thanks,” I said. “Liz went into labor earlier this morning, so you should be able to see your great-grandson tomorrow before you go home.”

“That’s great news!” my grandmother declared. “Rachel seems to be very happy.”

“She is! Granddad, would you like to hold her?”

“It’s been a long time since I held a baby! It was when Liz was born, twenty years ago!”

My grandmother turned and carefully transferred Rachel to my grandfather, and Rachel fussed a little bit the way she did for most men, but didn’t cry. He held her for about a minute, then handed her back.

“Can I get either of you something warm to drink?” Lara asked. “We have hot chocolate, tea, or coffee.”

“I’d love some hot chocolate,” my grandfather said.

“Make that two,” my grandmother requested.

Lara left and went to the kitchen and my grandparents and I sat down with my grandmother holding Rachel.

“That young woman is living here?” my grandfather asked in ‘that’ tone of voice.

“Jonathan!” my grandmother said sharply.

“It’s OK, Grandma,” I said, then turned to look at my grandfather. “No, she’s not. She does stay overnight when I’m at the hospital, and sleeps in the guest room. Mostly, if I’m home, Laura isn’t here, but sometimes she spends time with us.”

“How are you doing, Mike?” Grandma asked.

“Medical school and caring for Rachel keep me busy, which helps. How is Grandpa’s heart?”

“I’m sitting right here!” my grandfather protested.

“I believe Grandma will give me an accurate, complete report,” I replied.

“His cardiologist is happy, and there have been no new incidents. He’s on a ‘heart-healthy’ diet, walks a mile each morning, and limits his caffeine.”

“Me, too, on that last one. I was drinking it by the gallon during the first few years of medical school and was advised to cut back. How is his blood pressure?”

“In the normal range.”

“How about you?”

“I think I’m doing well for being seventy-two! My doctor is happy.”

“Good.”

“And Rachel’s checkups?”

“Other than being very cross with the medical student who gave her a polio jab, everything was fine at her checkup two weeks ago.”

“Students give shots?” my grandfather asked.

“We insert IVs, draw blood, suture, give inoculations, and other simple procedures. We also do exams, but those have to be checked by a licensed physician. And of course, we’re always supervised.”

“Your dad says you’re in pediatrics now.”

“Yes. It’s one of the core rotations. Next, I have psychiatry, and then internal medicine. I’ve had surgery, trauma, and OB/GYN so far. My electives begin in June.”

“You don’t go in for that nonsense that affirms deviant behavior do you?”

I knew what he meant, but I was going to answer based on MY views that Clarissa, Robby, and Lee were not ‘deviant’, just different. Getting into a debate with him about the nature of sin, or the field of psychiatry, simply wasn’t on my agenda for the morning.

“No, I don’t.”

“Good. You’ll be a doctor in eighteen months, right?”

“About that, yes. I have to pass the exam, but that shouldn’t be a problem.”

Lara brought the hot chocolate for my grandparents along with tea for me and a bottle of juice for Rachel. My grandparents stayed for about ninety minutes, then left to head back to Rutherford.

“Nice evasion with your grandfather!” Lara declared mirthfully. “Both times.”

“My grandmother’s response indicated the best way to answer — tell the truth, completely. You do stay with us occasionally. Nobody needs to know you stay over on Sunday nights.”

“Clarissa?”

“I’m actually being circumspect with what I say to her, because you didn’t state expressly it was OK for me to tell her. That’s more or less how things worked with Elizaveta, with the one exception of which you’re aware.”

“I’m OK if Clarissa knows I’m spending the night. If she didn’t have a girlfriend, she’d be the safe one to invite for our experiment!”

“Oh, sure, put that image into my head, Jezebel!”

“I enjoyed the four different positions we tried last night, though I have to say that ‘doggie’ doesn’t do it for me. Cowgirl, on the other hand...”

“You did seem to enjoy that! A lot!”

“You were so deep, I almost couldn’t believe it. Do you want me to leave before Kari arrives?”

“That’s up to you,” I replied.

“Probably safer. See you tomorrow morning?”

“Absolutely.”

Lara left, and I put Rachel down for her morning nap, then read JAMA until Kari arrived just after 11:00am. She greeted me with a hug and kiss, and we went to sit in the great room.

“Doing better?” she asked.

“Somewhat,” I replied. “I enjoyed Friday once you came to visit. That really brightened my day.”

“Thanks,” Kari said with a smile. “How is your family?”

“Good. My mom called earlier to let me know my sister is in labor. I should have a nephew before the end of the day.”

“Cool!”

“And in other news, my dad’s wife is pregnant again.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“As I said to my mom, he has to live his life in a way that makes him happy, which is true for everyone.”

“You don’t approve, though.”

“And that doesn’t matter. He’s still my dad. It’s the same point I made to him about Liz, but he never accepted my advice, and there’s a good chance Liz won’t let him see her baby.”

“That’s harsh! What happened?”

“Without going into details, my sister made some poor choices, then did something we all thought was a very bad idea. I said my piece, then simply loved and supported her. That caused a rift with my parents because they felt I was giving approval. Liz knew better, because I’d made it clear to her I wasn’t. My parents couldn’t see that, no matter what I said. Eventually, my mom came around, but my dad never did. All the stuff that happened with my sister was the genesis of my parents’ divorce. Well, my dad having an affair didn’t help things.”

“His new wife?”

“At least. Liz suspects at least one other teenage girl. But again, that’s between him and my mom.”

“You didn’t take your mom’s side?”

“In the sense that she was the injured party, yes, but I never stopped loving my dad, nor would I keep his granddaughter from him. It’s weird having a half-brother who is the same age as my daughter, and I can’t wrap my head around the idea of a ‘stepmom’ who is younger than my little sister!”

“Yeah, I can see how that would be weird,” Kari agreed. “My dad’s fiancée is six years younger, but she’s still almost twenty years older than I am. And six years is basically our difference in ages.”

“That’s true, and six years is OK.”

Kari nodded, then took a deep breath and let it out.

“May I point out a potential problem?” she asked.

“I want you to.”

“If you aren’t going to church, how can you expect me to learn what I need to learn to agree to convert?”

“I hadn’t considered that specific problem,” I replied. “I think that answers my internal debate about Lent. I need to get my schedule for February, and then we’ll make a plan. OK?”

“Well, given you can’t go on Sunday mornings, it kind of has to be, right?”

“Yes. I’m going to the Cathedral in Columbus for Theophany, but you’ll have class that day. Otherwise, it’ll be February. I can’t do much else.”

“I understand; I just wanted to point out the problem.”

“Which is what I asked you to do. Anything else?”

“No, I’m obviously doing a lot of soul-searching, or whatever you want to call it, about all the stuff you’ve pointed out.”

“Good.”

“What’s for lunch?”

“Leftover soup from Thursday, plus some leftover bread. The girls from church are ensuring I’m well taken care of.”

“Are you in the mood for sex?”

“Yes. I could put the soup on simmer now and we could go upstairs for about forty-five minutes before Rachel wakes up.”

Kari smiled and stood up. I went to the kitchen and poured the soup into a pot and set the heat on simmer, then went to find Kari, who had gone upstairs and was waiting naked on the bed, her gorgeous body on full display. I quickly undressed and joined her in bed.