Chapter 59: The Truth Shall Set You Free

December 22, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

Rachel woke about 5:20am, edging ever closer to the magical 6:00am which would be seven hours of sleep. Kari stayed in bed while I changed and fed Rachel, then put her in her carrier and brought it into the bathroom. I relieved myself, woke Kari, and led her to the shower, where I enjoyed washing her very sexy body and she did the same for me. We dried each other; I picked up the carrier, and we went to the bedroom, where I helped Kari into a track suit. We rolled up the legs and the arms, and it fit well enough for the short drive back to campus with Rachel and me.

“What are you doing for Christmas?” I asked as I backed out of the driveway.

“It’ll be at my uncle’s house, and my dad’s parents will be there. Normally we go to their house in Dayton, but neither Dad nor Leslie want to travel even that short distance.”

“That makes sense.”

“You go to church, right?”

“Yes. Then we’ll be at my in-laws for lunch and then we’ll go to Rutherford for my family’s Christmas celebration, which includes my uncle, his wife, and their kids. I’ll stop in and see my dad for a few minutes, too.”

“Are we exchanging gifts?”

“To be honest, I hadn’t planned on it, and with what happened last week, I wasn’t prepared.”

“I wasn’t trying to cause trouble,” Kari said. “I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

“We are. Next Monday I’m having dinner with some friends from church, but we could have lunch if that works for you.”

“It should. I’ll call you on Sunday to confirm that my family isn’t doing anything. And I promise I’ll call, not like last time.”

“That sounds good.”

“What about your track suit?”

“I don’t need it in the next week, so just bring it back on Monday, or whenever we get together next if Monday doesn’t work. I should probably ask about the cost of your clothes.”

“Well, if I allocate around $6 per orgasm, you paid me back!”

I laughed, “Too funny! But seriously?”

“It’s OK. I actually wore things I wouldn’t miss if that happened.”

“You thought it might?”

She shrugged, “I’m not sure what I thought. When I was walking over, I was pretty sure things were done between us, but then when I figured out you were upset with yourself, not me, I felt differently. Obviously, there’s a lot to think about, but the argument you made four times last night is pretty convincing!”

“I enjoyed it, but please don’t let that make your decision.”

“I think it could only negatively affect it, right? I mean, if one of us didn’t like it or wasn’t interested in doing it again?”

“Looking at it that way, yes.”

When I pulled up in front of the dorm, Kari leaned over and kissed my cheek, said ‘goodbye’ and then got out of the car. Once she was inside, I put the car in gear and drove home. I got Rachel settled in her swing, then picked up the tattered remnants of Kari’s clothes and put them in an empty drawer in my dresser in case she wanted them back for some reason, then stripped the sheets from the bed, put on fresh ones, and took the soiled ones to the laundry room.

That completed, I picked up Rachel, and we said our morning prayers together.

“Morning!” Lara called out, coming in the door just as I finished with morning prayers.

“Morning!” I replied.

We hugged and exchanged a quick kiss, then went to the kitchen.

“How did things go with Kari?” Lara asked as she began making French toast.

“We resolved the problem from last week, but her major challenge is the same as Tasha’s.”

“That’s going to be a hurdle for most girls, I think, including some of the Orthodox ones.”

“And it works for you because of your view on relationships, right?”

“Yes. As I said, I’ll never fall in love with you or be romantic, which may well be what causes it not to happen, but it also means I can adapt to whatever circumstances arise.”

“An important consideration, obviously.”

“So, how did you leave things with Kari?” Lara asked.

“We might get together next Monday for lunch; I’m going to the Malenkov’s on Monday evening.”

“Katy gets her shot?” Lara teased.

“Only if I pick up and move to California, and that’s not happening! I actually haven’t spoken to Katy since the funeral; it was her mom who invited me to dinner. Back during Freshman year, Katy and I explained the conclusion we reached to her parents, so I think this is just plain hospitality, not some underhanded attempt to get us together, which would fail, anyway.”

“You two got along well, though, right?”

“Yes. But I wasn’t going to move to California, and she wasn’t going to give up on going to Stanford and working in Silicon Valley. She’s basically as practical as you are. She’d have managed a difficult relationship, though she’d never have been OK with me being ordained, even as a subdeacon.”

“I get the impression her family is pretty lax in comparison to others.”

“Yes, and if we hadn’t had the difference over the future, that might well have blocked us from marrying. There is only so far I can go to compromise there.”

“I’m pretty lax compared to you.”

“Some monks are lax compared to me,” I chuckled. “But I think you and I could work out a family praxis that worked for both of us. Not to mention I’m going to miss a lot of church over the next four years. And my fasting rule will have to adapt to my schedule to ensure I stay healthy with those insane shifts. You know I accepted a very relaxed family rule once Elizaveta became pregnant. And I know you know I never try to apply my personal rules to anyone else.”

“Do you see any areas of conflict between us?”

“Besides you saying I can’t bang the nanny?” I asked with a smirk.

Lara laughed, “Let me guess, Swedish au pair?”

“Now there’s an idea!” I chuckled. “But in all honesty? I don’t see any conflicts at the moment. You’re cool with my relationship with Clarissa, and if you weren’t, that would be a big warning sign.”

“And that’s knowing the secret Elizaveta never knew! I do agree that simply letting Elizaveta believe Clarissa was a lesbian who had never experimented was the right approach, because otherwise she’d have demanded you stay away from Clarissa, or at least seriously limited your interactions.”

“I agree.”

“Changing subjects, today is just an office day, right?”

“Yes. Barring any ‘sick visits’, it’ll be routine exams and inoculations.”

“How old are your oldest patients?”

“The practice rule is they will see them until the kid’s sixteenth birthday, though for girls we guide their parents to take them to a gynecologist at age twelve or menarche. It’s not strictly necessary unless the girl is sexually active, because the gynecologist doesn’t do internal exams, but, for example, the pediatric practice won’t provide prescriptions for birth control nor give pregnancy counseling.”

“Why?”

“First, it’s not their specialty, second it lets them stay out of the firing line on those topics which make some parents extremely uncomfortable. But the advice to see a gynecologist is given in front of the girl, so she knows she should. After that, it’s up to the parents.”

“I assume you’re OK with that?”

“I’d actually give them the brochure on women’s health from the Free Clinic at age thirteen. That one is fairly neutral on abortion, but discusses all the reasons a girl might want to see a gynecologist.”

“Neutral?”

“It mentions ‘pregnancy services’ but never specifically says ‘abortion’ or ‘termination’. They have other brochures, but this is the one that doesn’t offend devout Roman Catholics or Evangelical Protestants, who together make up the majority of the population here. Add in the Lutherans, and you have a significant majority, though the Lutherans tend to be far less fanatical about both birth control and abortion.”

“Does Faith Bible object to birth control?”

“If it’s used to engage in what they call ‘illicit sex’, of course! They see making it available to unmarried women as a tool of the devil!”

“Well, THIS unmarried woman will engage in sex on HER terms, not anyone else’s, and that includes bishops and priests!”

“Not going to confess what we did on Sunday?” I asked.

Lara smiled, “For the exact same reason you won’t. Neither of us regret it or repent of it, nor are we prepared to make any effort to stop. Confession would be hypocritical.”

“The very struggle I had for years. I actually will confess, but only to acknowledge I’ve ‘missed the mark’. That attitude very nearly derailed my ordination.”

“If it had, things would have been very different. You and I might have ended up together back then.”

“Maybe,” I replied. “I married Elizaveta because of my impending ordination. That is NOT saying that I regret doing so or that I feel I made an error, just that my plan without ordination, and after Angie was diagnosed, was not to get serious with anyone until after my first year of Residency, and I think I would have stuck to that.”

“And Tasha wasn’t about to wait five or six years.”

“Not a chance.”

“Once again, you don’t have to answer, but is she staying the night?”

“It’s officially Rachel’s first sleepover.”

Lara laughed, “And knowing Tasha, it’s only the little girls who will actually be sleeping!”

“To answer your question the way you meant it, yes, she’s staying, but I think there’s a good chance she sleeps in the guest room.”

“So that you don’t have sex in ‘our’ bed?” Lara teased.

I laughed, “I forgot how much you liked to tease me. Almost as much as Clarissa! And if Tasha sleeps in the guest room, I’ll sleep in my bed. And I’m not trying to be cute or misdirect, either. No sex in front of the fireplace and sleeping in separate beds and saying we didn’t sleep together.”

“You know I actually expect that one, right?”

“So does she, and I might not live through the night if I refuse!”

“Did you promise anything?”

“Only that the girls could have a sleepover. What Tasha wants is Tasha’s problem, not mine. We’ll spend time talking, and I’ll see where it goes. If she’s frustrated, she can purchase a ‘personal massager’ from the drug store where she works!”

Lara laughed hard.

“Somehow I don’t see Tasha buying a vibrator!”

I was SO tempted to reveal Tasha’s comment about having sex with herself, but that wasn’t something I felt free to share.

“Hey, if you can’t get it otherwise, and you’re a horny twenty-two-year-old woman, what can you do?”

“Would you believe I never once masturbated the past few years?” Lara asked.

“I would,” I replied. “There’s another thing we have in common — we can control our libidos when we elect to do so!”

The French toast was ready, so Lara brought it along with warm maple syrup, juice, and coffee to the table, and after I said the blessing, we ate. When we finished, we cleaned up, then I went upstairs to dress for work while Lara watched Rachel.

“See you about 5:20pm,” I said. “There’s a chance Tasha will arrive before I do, though she said 5:30pm.”

“I promise not to tell her we’ve been screwing like bunny rabbits, and I got very close to getting you all the way in my mouth!” Lara teased.

“I believe she’d laugh, actually. She thinks you’re the one I’ll end up marrying, even though she was the one who first suggested Oksana about four years ago. Elizaveta was her second choice because Elizaveta was only fourteen at that point and Oksana was nearly sixteen.”

“I could invite Tasha for our experiments...” Lara smirked.

“I believe I told you her response to that!”

“Well, if you turn her down tonight, you never know what she might do to get what she wants!”

I laughed, “Cute. You know that’s not a requirement, right?”

“Of course. And all joking aside, I’m still thinking about that one. Can I ask an uncomfortable question?”

I smirked, “Is it OK to bring another guy into bed for a threesome?”

“I should have known you would guess!”

“I am completely straight, so there would be serious limits, just as I suspect there would be for you and a female.”

“I’ll put my tongue in a pussy the day you give a guy a blowjob.”

“Then THAT part is settled! Never!”

“Exactly!” Lara declared.

“Lee would have gone for it in a heartbeat! Heck, I bet he’d have had sex with you if it meant he got to be with me!”

“He was that hot for you?”

“He did make it clear on several occasions he was interested, but he was also aware that I’m completely straight, so it was just a bit of homoerotic teasing, and it didn’t bug me.”

“I’m not sure I’d have been so cavalier about a girl telling me she wanted to have sex with me.”

I shrugged, “But you wouldn’t be cavalier about a guy telling you that outside a proper relationship, either. I was truly an outlier for how your sexual ethics work.”

“You know, of course, that the ‘saved my life’ bit was a pretext, and that I had no burning need to start a sexual relationship at sixteen, but something told me to take the opportunity, even if, as I told you back then, it was simply a very rewarding first time.

“I could have done it with Jack before we started having problems, but chose not to because I didn’t need to and for some reason, I didn’t want to. And before you ask, I have no idea why that is. I was attracted to him, and I enjoyed kissing him, but I didn’t feel a need to go further, and he didn’t press the issue, most likely because I was only seventeen. Anyway, you need to go or you’ll be late!”

She was right, so I kissed Rachel on the forehead, then hugged Lara, who gave me a quick kiss. I left the house and headed to the medical building where, fortunately, the boiler had been fixed and the exam rooms were toasty warm as they were intended to be.

It was a completely routine day with nothing out of the ordinary, and just short of nine hours from when I’d left, I returned to the house.

“Hi, Mishka!” Tasha exclaimed when I came into the house.

I wasn’t surprised because I had seen her Volvo parked across the street from the house.

“Hi, Tasha. Give me a moment to change, OK?”

“Yes. I was just talking with Lara!”

“The Tsarina is sleeping,” Lara said. “But she should be up shortly.”

Tasha rolled her eyes, but didn’t say anything, so I headed upstairs, checked on Rachel, then changed out of my slacks, shirt, and tie and into a rugby shirt and sweatpants. I also changed out of dress socks into thick, warm socks, then went downstairs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow evening,” Lara said. “Here, right? Not church?”

“Correct.”

“Don’t forget, I’m leaving early on Thursday morning and Alyssa will be here.”

“I haven’t forgotten! See you tomorrow evening.”

We hugged, I walked her to the door, then returned to where Tasha and Larisa were sitting.

“We’re going to make dinner,” Tasha said. “Lara said that Rachel will wake up around 6:00pm.”

“Yes, and she’ll eat, then nap for a bit, then wake up for a snack and stay awake until her bottle around 11:00pm. She’s sleeping until around 5:30am.”

“Then I’ll have dinner ready for 6:30pm.”

“OK to come into the kitchen with you?”

Tasha laughed, “I am not like that!”

I went into the kitchen with her and Larisa.

“Does Larisa help?” I asked.

“She wants to, but she’s only twenty months old, so she really can’t. When I bake bread, I give her some dough to make into a small loaf and that kind of thing.

“I bake with Mommy!” Larisa declared. “Big girl!”

“Yes, you are,” I replied, thinking that Rachel was going to be a holy terror as soon as she could start giving me orders and doing things for herself.

“We made the bread at home,” Tasha said. “There wouldn’t have been enough time.”

“How is your mom?”

“She’s fine. She’s very involved at church, of course, and she watches Larisa. My dad wisely provided for her.”

“Do I dare ask how things are with Sasha?”

“She’s due in February. Timmy’s parents bought them a double-wide in the trailer park in Rutherford. He’s going to community college, and she’s waitressing. Timmy’s mom babysits. I see your mom and sister at church; how is your dad?”

“OK. Rachel and I will stop in to see my dad and Holly on Christmas Day on the way to my grandfather’s house. I did buy a small gift for my brother.”

“That is SO strange. You have a brother who is not much older than your daughter!”

“And technically a stepmother who is younger than you are!”

“It’s very strange. Are they happy?”

“As best I can tell,” I replied. “The only real fallout was Holly’s mom quitting when Harding County didn’t fire my dad. But Holly was absolutely over sixteen when my dad started his affair with her, so despite Mrs. Vogel complaining to the Harding County Prosecutor, the investigation was closed with no charges.”

“Is Elaine going to be with your mom and her new husband permanently?”

“That’s the plan,” I replied. “They’re foster parents now, but actually adopting her would mean a complete termination of Elaine’s parents’ rights. Stefan thinks that’s going to happen sometime next year. If there’s a problem with that, Elaine will apply for emancipation, which she can get because she has a baby, and then she’ll just stay with my mom and Stefan even without formal adoption.”

“So her baby would be Rachel’s cousin and your niece?”

“Yes, by adoption. Elaine would be the sweet younger sister I never had!”

Tasha laughed, “You and Liz were like cats and dogs, but then got really close when she had her problems.”

“We did. Liz is due basically any day now, but I’m sure you noticed.”