Chapter 55: Fingering the Frets and Strumming the Strings

December 18, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

“You guys were awesome!” Oksana exclaimed when the band went to mingle with the audience.

“Thanks. You never came to any of the concerts?”

“Unfortunately, no. The only time I heard you before tonight was at your wedding reception. Playing that song was beautiful. Do you have any recordings?”

“Doctor Blahnik recorded two of our concerts in the past. I’m sure I could get you a cassette if you wanted.”

“Would you?”

“Absolutely.”

“Can I stop by on Tuesday evening?”

“Unfortunately, I’m having dinner with Tasha so that Rachel and Larisa can visit.”

“Is there much interaction?”

“Rachel babbles at other babies and toddlers, but that’s about it. That’ll change soon, and of course, Larisa is walking and talking, though obviously at toddler levels.”

“OK. What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Church in the morning, lunch with my in-laws, then dinner with my family in Rutherford. I’ll be home late on Friday evening.”

“What if I visit on Thursday evening after Vespers for the Nativity? I want to bring you a present.”

“I don’t get home from the hospital until around 8:30pm.”

“Oh! You’ll miss Vespers?”

“Yes, unfortunately. Hospitals don’t close for holidays!”

“I hadn’t even thought about that! Would it be OK to come over after Vespers?”

“Absolutely.”

She smiled, “Great! I’m going out with the girls for ice cream now. I doubt they’d object if you joined us!”

“Doctor Blahnik, the music professor, is having a reception at her house. You’re welcome to join us.”

“I would, but the girls are expecting me. See you on Thursday?”

“Yes.”

She gave me a quick hug, then left. I scanned the room for Kari, but I didn’t see her. I’d seen her in the audience, but it appeared that she had left. I walked over to where Anicka was standing with Derek, Milena, and Joel.

“Did Kari leave?” I asked.

“Yes,” Anicka replied. “And she said something came up so she wouldn’t be at the party.”

“My fault,” I said ruefully.

“Our cue to walk away!” Milena said. “Derek, Joel, let’s go see some of my students.”

The three of them walked away, leaving Anicka and me with a modicum of privacy in the noisy auditorium.

“What happened?” Anicka asked.

“In true Mike Loucks fashion, I ruined a spontaneous moment by overthinking things.”

“You do have a habit of doing that, but I think part of that is the personality and mentality needed to be a surgeon who works in the ER.”

“Probably,” I replied. “Kari was rightfully upset with me, and ended our date early. She said she needed to think and would call me Sunday evening and let me know if she’d keep our date on Monday evening.”

“Mind if I ask what happened?”

I thought about it and realized that I might have a lifeline if I handled this correctly.

“It’s probably best if you hear it from Kari,” I said. “I can relate the facts, but not how she was thinking.”

“I’ll see her tomorrow afternoon when she’s practicing and see if we can fix this. Well, assuming you want to fix it.”

“I like her,” I replied. “But I’m not sure there’s a way to fix it.”

“Nonsense! Every relationship problem can be overcome if you both want to overcome it and are willing to compromise.”

“I think you need to speak to Kari before you reach that conclusion.”

“I will. I hope you’re not going to be depressed at the party. Milena wants to sing with you, if you’re willing.”

“I’ve discovered that Czech women are every bit as demanding and controlling as Russian women!”

“Oh, please!” Anicka said, shaking her head.

I glanced around to make sure nobody was close, then spoke just above a whisper.

“Right there, Mike! Yes, do that! Now!”

Anicka laughed, “Only a foolish woman doesn’t tell her partner what she wants and needs! Failure to do that often leads to a disappointing experience. You did not disappoint!”

“I can’t imagine you’ve had too many disappointing experiences!”

“Just with my ex-husband towards the end. I have always been in control of my sexuality!”

“No kidding!” I chuckled. “And I have NO complaints!”

“Nor do I! May I say something that might embarrass you?”

“Sure.”

“Sex with Derek was better after I was with you!”

I shook my head, “I’m not even going to begin to try to figure that one out!”

“Ask Milena,” Anicka said with a smile. “Sex with Joel was better because she’d been with you.”

“I’m not that good!” I protested.

“It’s not just physical,” Anicka replied. “Sex is mental, emotional, and physical, but the best sex is also spiritual. You should know that from your marriage to Elizaveta, and from your relationship with Milena. Think about it.”

I nodded, “I see your point, given how Milena and I approached it after our night with Deb.”

“So, a special encounter can reset any of those, or clarify them, or enhance them, making future encounters even better.”

Clarissa! THAT was what it was about. I wanted to smack my head on the wall to beat the cluelessness out of myself.

“You just had a moment of clarity about something,” Anicka said. “I see it in your eyes.”

I nodded, “I did. I just figured out something very important about a relationship and it all makes sense now.”

“Glad I could help! Now, go mingle and I’ll see you at the house for the party!”

I walked away and was stopped by some students I recognized who were now Juniors, who expressed condolences for Elizaveta, and praised the band. I let them know about our upcoming gig at the bar and realized that we were easily going to turn it to ‘standing room only’.

I wondered if there would be a way to play multiple nights, but that would depend more on my schedule than anything. We also didn’t know what would happen after May when José, Sticks, and Kim all finished their coursework and found jobs. But that was something to worry about after our Prom gigs.

I chatted with a few other people, then went to collect my instruments. Normally, I’d have taken them home, but because Anicka had suggested Milena wanted to sing together, I’d decided to bring them with me to the party.

“You were awesome, as always, Petrovich!” Clarissa exclaimed, coming up to me as I slung my balalaika over my back.

“Thanks, Lissa.”

“You carry it that way on purpose, right?”

“Zhivago, of course! And even better, Oksana is going to make me a «косоворо́тка» (kosovorotka), so I’ll be able to look like Yuri Zhivago. I’ll probably wear it under my scrubs so I can take off the scrub top when I play Lara’s Theme.” (“Russian peasant shirt”)

“Now that’s cool! Did you see Kari?”

“I did, from the stage, but she disappeared right after we finished and let Anicka know she was skipping the party.”

“Not good.”

“No. Anicka is going to chat with Kari tomorrow and see if there’s anything she can do to salvage the situation.”

“Doctor Blahnik is really set on you and Kari!”

I nodded, “Two things. First, Maryam escalated today!”

“Maryam? Escalated?”

“I paid attention, sensed a moment, and we shared a very nice soft kiss. Her first ever kiss.”

“You’re joking!”

I shook my head, “No, I’m not. I almost said that, but fortunately my brain operated just fast enough to prevent me from saying it aloud to her!”

“AND?”

“She observed that I was still mourning Elizaveta, which I think was obvious from the tears when I played my balalaika, and that I wasn’t ready to make a commitment. She said I could ask for a second kiss, but at that point it was ‘serious’.”

“Interesting strategy.”

“The perfect one,” I replied. “She wants to keep seeing me on Fridays and have tea occasionally other times. She made it clear what she wants and put the ball squarely in my court, but also made it clear she knows it’s not time.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Honestly? She’s the one person besides you who fully and completely understands and accepts the demands of the job. Hers are just as bad, because cardiology is as tough, if not tougher, than what I’m going to do. Cardiothoracic surgery is FAR more intense than general surgery. The challenge would be when to have a kid.”

“Just one, right?”

“I think it would have to be, and the timing is difficult no matter what. But I’m getting way ahead of myself. When I start overthinking things, I make stupid mistakes.”

“Like with Kari.”

“Like with Kari,” I agreed. “And that brings me to the second thing. Anicka made the comment that sex with Derek was better after she’d been with me. That kind of surprised me, but then she made the observation that sex is mental, emotional, and physical, but the best sex is also spiritual. When she said that, I had a moment of complete clarity.”

Clarissa smiled, “So you do understand.”

“I need to be beaten about the head and shoulders on a regular basis, which you know!”

“All too well!” Clarissa replied. “So, what did you figure out?”

“That with you and me, it’s not about what goes where, or even if anything goes anywhere. It’s the spiritual connection we’ve had since Freshman year. It’s why you craved sleeping naked together, why you wanted and needed cuddles, and why you could, as a lesbian, make love with me. It had zero to do with physical pleasure, though that was there. It was one hundred percent spiritual fulfillment.”

“You’re not such a blockhead after all, Charlie Brown!” Clarissa teased.

“What did Tessa say?”

“That you should eat your Wheaties and take your vitamins because you’re going to have an experience like never before!”

“She’s that confident?”

“She keeps me happy!”

I chuckled, “Last I checked, I don’t have the same parts, Lissa!”

“Well, I think you’ll like her parts and I’m sure she’ll like yours! Shall we go to the party?”

“We shall!”

I picked up my guitar case, slung my satchel over my shoulder, and we left the auditorium. We walked to Anicka’s house where I stashed my instruments in the music room, then got a can of Orange Crush.

“Will you sing with me?” Milena asked, coming over to where I was standing.

“Do I have a choice?” I asked.

“NO!” she declared mirthfully. “Now, if only I could get a pass from Joel...”

I laughed, “I knew your mom wouldn’t be able to resist telling you!”

“She can be a real bitch at times!” Milena said with a silly smile. “But I’m happy for her.”

“And you don’t really want a pass from Joel.”

“No, I don’t. Our relationship is perfect, and the sex is sublime. You know what I prefer.”

I nodded, “It’s spiritual.”

“Mom made that point, didn’t she?”

“Yes. Your mom should teach a class on relationships and sexuality!”

“How about a mother-daughter tag-team?” Milena teased.

“Do NOT put those ideas into my head, woman!”

Milena laughed, “I meant teaching, of course!”

“Of course,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “And the two of you would never tease the guys in the class with that fantasy and never make any innuendos, right?”

“Who, us? We’re both innocent women who have had sex once each, for the sole purpose of having a baby!”

“There is nobody on the planet gullible enough to believe that, including me!”

“You might have firsthand knowledge!”

“Might?”

“Do!”

“In all seriousness,” I said, “you two should teach a class. It would be very well received by the students.”

“And hated by certain segments of the administration and the community,” Milena replied.

“Fuck ‘em!” I declared.

“Ah, the Mike who defended changes to the dorm rules and who thrashed the evangelical pastor escapes his cage!”

“It happens occasionally! Anyway, come find me when you’re ready to sing.”

She walked away, and I walked over to say hello to Deb, who was with her fiancé, Tim. They hadn’t set a wedding date and were in no rush. She had been hired as a drama teacher at the High School and loved her job. I spent a few minutes with them, then wandered towards where Clarissa was standing, but didn’t make it, as a pretty girl with long black hair stopped me.

“You were awesome!” she said. “I’m Lexie Grey!”

“Mike,” I replied.

“I know! That’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone play a Russian lute except in the movies.”

“It’s called a «балалайка» (balalaika),” I replied. “College student?”

“Freshman in Dramatic Arts. You graduated from Taft, right?”

“Yes, with a biochemistry degree. I’m a medical student.”

“I kind of got that from the scrubs you were wearing,” she replied. “Not to mention it said that in the program!”

I laughed, “You know, I never even looked at what’s in the program.”

“Your playlist, and brief bios. You’re from a small town west of here, and are planning to be an ER doctor.”

“You have me at a severe disadvantage!”

“I’m from Portage, which is just south of Bowling Green, was in every play and musical starting in first grade, and I plan to be a famous actress!”

“Stage, movies, or television?”

“Stage suits me better. I figure a leading role on Broadway, or better, in London in the West End.”

“Very cool.”

“Do you plan to keep playing even after you’re a doctor?”

“I hope to, but medical school and Residency are pretty demanding, so my time is limited.”

“Well, I hope you do! You were awesome!”

“You said that!”

“And I’ll say it again because it’s true! Perhaps you’d like to give me a personal concert where you finger my frets and strum my strings!”

I remembered what Clarissa had said — ‘The next girl who offers, you just go for it!’. Lexie was certainly attractive enough, and I had no impediments. And I had something to prove to myself.

“Birth control?”

“On the Pill since I was fifteen.”

I smiled, took her hand, and led her up to my former room, which Doctor Blahnik had said was mine to use for as long as I needed it. We spent about ninety minutes in bed where I enjoyed fingering her frets and strumming her strings, and she took an opportunity to demonstrate her skills playing my woodwind.

“That was fun!” she exclaimed as we got into the shower. “You have an impressive instrument!”

“Thanks. I had a lot of fun as well!”

I grabbed the soap and began washing Lexie’s firm body. She was about three inches shorter than me, with small breasts, a nearly flat stomach, a soft patch of black pubic hair, and plump labia which guarded the entrance to a silky, tight tunnel.

“Ever screw in the shower?” Lexie asked.

I took that as an invitation, and she was light enough that I could hold her with her arms and legs wrapped around me and her back against the wall while the warm water sprayed over our intertwined bodies.

“Damn!” Lexie panted when I set her down so we could finish washing up. “I’m tempted to break my rule!”

“Rule?” I asked.

“Hook-ups are, as a rule, one-time things. Cast parties and afterparties provide all kinds of opportunities for fun, and I made the rule when I was a Freshman that hook-ups were just that. No emotional ties, no entanglements, no regrets! It’s always fun, and I usually get off, and I’m not looking for anything permanent. But I could see giving you a second round!”

I chuckled, “We just had four!”

She laughed, “You know what I meant.”

“Actually, given my situation, your rule seems to be a good one.”

“How about we agree that I can ask after your concert at the end of next semester, but not before? If it can’t happen, no problem. If it can? Lots of fun!”

“That would work. You said you were a Freshman your first time?”

“Fourteen and the guy was my best friend’s older brother!”

“I have a younger sister and her friends were, well, very friendly!”

“How old were you?”

“Late bloomer; eighteen, and it was after I graduated from High School. She was my best friend since kindergarten, and we decided to be each other’s first. Mind if I ask how much older?”

“Seven years. He was twenty-one, and I basically had to drag him into bed. It was SO worth it!”

Her situation was consistent with my sister’s and Elaine’s, of fourteen-year-old girls going with older guys, though in those two cases, the guys had been married, whereas I was positive Lexie’s guy was single, though she hadn’t said so.

“Can I ask you a question that might seem strange?”

“Asks the guy whose cum I swallowed not too long ago?” she asked lightly. “And who kissed me after sixty-nine?”

“I’m curious why at fourteen would you go with a guy who was so much older? Forget the age of consent problem, which is irrelevant for you, though not the guy.”

“Dumb laws by dumb old men who have no business telling me what to do with my body, whether it’s screwing or abortion or pot! Why? I thought he was hot, he was always nice to me, and I wanted my first time to be amazing. It was! Fortunately, he had a case of rubbers, because I wasn’t on the Pill. We used them all up in a week!”

I laughed, “Horny fourteen-year-old meets college stud?”

“Pretty much! I’d known him since I was about five, and he was always cool. What sealed it was seeing him lifting weights in just shorts. I HAD to have him. It took a bit of convincing, but we were in his bed twenty minutes later and I had blood on the inside of my thighs!”

“At fourteen, that’s no surprise. It’s a myth that all girls bleed.”

“I read that in a magazine article a few years ago. I had no idea that your cherry basically either simply goes away or, more often, is broken by athletics.”

“Exactly. By sixteen or seventeen, most girls don’t have one that matters, so to speak. But there are exceptions. My textbook mentioned that are rare cases of virgo intacta even into the late twenties.”

“It actually didn’t hurt, really. It was like, uncomfortable for about two seconds, and then it felt so good I forgot all about it until we finished and I saw the blood. He was super happy to bag a virgin, and even happier to have proof!”

“I’m not sure saying he ‘bagged a virgin’ is accurate when you basically dragged him to bed!”

Lexie laughed as I turned off the tap.

“Good point! I made him teach me how to give a blowjob that day!”

“Made him?” I chuckled. “Uh-huh.”

“OK, I asked, and he was quick to agree and tell me what to do!”

“I’ve yet to meet the guy, straight or gay, who objected to blowjobs!”

“That’s for sure! You’re one of the rare ones who’ll kiss after oral sex. My friend’s brother did. He really got off on sixty-nine, then French kissing. Me, too!”

“That was pretty obvious!”

We dried and dressed and then went downstairs to rejoin the party. I saw José with two girls, each hanging onto an arm. One of them was a gorgeous, athletic redhead with a lithe body, while the other was a very curvy Hispanic girl. I raised an eyebrow, and he gave a slight shrug and what had to be called a ‘shit-eating’ grin. I walked over to him, and Lexie went to join some of her friends.

“Who’s your new friend?” José asked.

“Lexie. And who are your friends?”

“This is Maria,” he said, nodding towards the Hispanic girl, “and this is Sierra,” he said, nodding to the redhead.

“A private word?” I asked.

He nodded and the girls reluctantly let him go so we could move to a private spot.

“Feel free to use my room upstairs,” I said. “Though I’d advise changing the sheets! There are fresh ones in the bottom right dresser drawer.”

“Thanks! I believe my new friends would be amenable!”

“Together?”

“Yeah,” he grinned.

I went to get something to drink, and I saw José and his new friends disappear up the stairs.

“And where were YOU, Petrovich?” Clarissa asked quietly, moving next to me.

“My best friend instructed me to ‘go for it’ with the next girl who offered. Lexie offered, so I went for it!”