Chapter 51: A Loucksian Answer

December 12, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

I left the kitchen, where Oksana had begun to clean up, taking Rachel with me. She was awake, so I went to the study and got my guitar. Playing for Rachel always seemed to keep her quiet and happy, and though she was beginning to show emotions, I had no idea what she was thinking, or what thoughts were like for a baby beyond primal needs. Soon enough, though, I chuckled, she’d be telling me what to do and how to do it, like any good Russian woman! I had played for about ten minutes before Oksana came into the study.

“I’ll start the bread in a few minutes, but I wanted to show you the «косоворо́тка» (kosovorotka) I made. I can make one for you to wear around the house now that you don’t need to wear a cassock.” (“Russian peasant shirt”)

Oksana carefully removed the fuzzy red sweater she was wearing to reveal a beautiful «косоворо́тка» (kosovorotka), which people would recognize immediately from Doctor Zhivago if they had seen the movie. She had it tucked into her skirt, which was typical for women, whereas men tended to wear theirs outside their pants. (“Russian peasant shirt”)

The collar was buttoned, offset from the centerline, which would keep her baptismal cross from falling out. We always wore those crosses inside our innermost clothing, next to our skin, never outside. The one exception was for babies and toddlers, and Rachel’s baptismal cross was pinned to her onesie.

“That’s very nice needlework,” I said, referring to the decorative embroidery.

“Thanks! If it’s OK, I’ll make one for you.”

“Sure,” I replied with a smile.

“And a small one for Rachel! She’ll look really cute in it!”

I chuckled, “Turning her into a Russian peasant at four months?”

“They’re really comfortable and they’re different from what everyone else wears. That’s why I like them.”

“I appreciate the offer,” I said.

“Let me get the bread started, then I’ll come back to sit with you.”

“OK,” I agreed.

She put on her sweater, left the study, and I began playing and singing for Rachel until she fell asleep. Once she did, I carried her upstairs and put her in her crib, then turned on the baby monitor transmitter. I went back to the great room, stoked the fire which Elias had built while I was at band practice, turned on the baby monitor receiver, and then put a CD in the player. A few minutes later, Oksana came into the great room.

“The bread has to rise,” Oksana announced, coming over to sit next to me on the couch.

“What do you want to do when you finish at the community college?”

“Get a job, get married, and have kids! I spoke with a woman my mom knows who has a small accounting business and she works out of her house and takes care of her kids. I thought that was a good plan, though if my husband made enough money, I’d stay home until the kids started school, then go back to work.”

“That’s similar to what my mom did, and my grandmother watched my sister and me after school until my mom got home.”

“Where is your mom living?”

“Goshen.”

“And you guys get along?”

“Really well, and my stepdad is a good guy. Things are a bit strained with my dad and his wife, but that’s more about history before Holly than it is the current situation. Do you get along with your parents?”

“Reasonably, I guess. I mean, you know them. They’re typical Russian parents.”

“Did they allow you to date?”

“Yes, from the time I was sixteen. Mostly I went to school dances and football games, but I went out with a guy for about six months during my Senior year, but it never got serious. He went to college in New York.”

“So, you were giving me grief about dating non-Orthodox girls and you were dating a non-Orthodox guy?”

“The Orthodox guy I wanted to date ignored me for years and then married my friend! Elias and Serafima were a couple, and I was not interested in Nikolas Antipov for what I think are obvious reasons! You, on the other hand, had every opportunity and never took it! So it’s totally different!”

“There isn’t anything I can do to change the past,” I said. “But the future is wide open.”

“Let me go check on the bread; I’ll be right back!”

She got up and went to the kitchen and was back a minute later.

“It’s rising properly,” she said.

She walked across the room, and instead of sitting next to me, surprised me by sitting in my lap.

“Did you like the kiss earlier?” she asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

“Would you like another one?”

“I would.”

She pressed her lips against mine and we held the kiss for about fifteen seconds, then she pulled her legs up, curled in my lap and put her head on my shoulder. I carefully put my arms around her, but not too tightly.

“This is nice,” she said.

It was, and I realized she was testing the waters, so to speak. I didn’t expect it to go further than a bit of kissing, given the circumstances, and I reminded myself to be careful and take things slowly. Moving too quickly could create all kinds of trouble.

“It is,” I replied.

We cuddled for about twenty minutes before Oksana got up to check on her bread and decide what she wanted to make for dinner. I went upstairs to check on Rachel, even though I’d have been able to hear her via the baby monitor. When I went back downstairs, Oksana was still in the kitchen, so I went to sit at the dinette table so we could talk while she worked.

“I’m going to make fettuccine Alfredo with shrimp, if that’s OK. You have all the necessary ingredients.”

“That sounds good to me!”

“We have about an hour before I need to get the bread into the oven. What do you want to do?”

“We can’t really go out,” I replied. “So I’m happy to just listen to music and talk.”

Oksana agreed, and we spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know each other and listening to music. Oksana baked the bread and made dinner, which was delicious, and then we worked together to clean up the kitchen. I fed and changed Rachel, and then it was time to head to church. Before we left the house, Oksana hugged me and gave me another soft kiss, once again just pressing her lips against mine for about fifteen seconds.

“Can I see you soon?” she asked.

“You know my schedule is a mess,” I replied. “But if you wanted to come over Tuesday evening around 7:00pm, we could spend some time together.”

“Great!”

I dropped Oksana at home, then drove to the church. After Vespers, Lara took Rachel from me, and I headed to the hospital for my shift.

December 13, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

“How was your shift?” Clarissa asked when she arrived at the hospital on Sunday evening.

“Quiet. Only one ED consult, and it didn’t result in an admission. Otherwise, it was just monitoring the dozen kids on the ward. I spent a lot of time talking with the kids.”

“Cool. Anything special I need to know?”

“Just that the eight-year-old female with non-Hodgkin lymphoma is very emotional and really needs support. Her mom is a basket case, which doesn’t help.”

“I think I’d be a basket case if my kid had cancer,” Clarissa replied. “I’ll make sure I spend some time with her if things stay calm.”

“Thanks. She’s a sweet kid, and her prognosis is good. She’s responding to the chemo, and the oncologist says kids in similar situations with non-aggressive lymphomas have a better than 90% five-year survival rate, and excellent chances of long-term survival.”

“Which doesn’t make it any easier on a mom.”

“No, it doesn’t,” I agreed.

“Anything else going on?”

“Just Russian girls being Russian girls,” I chuckled.

“Now what?”

“Serafima took me to task for bringing Kari to our Friday group dinner.”

“I think I’ve seen this movie,” Clarissa said with a smirk. “And?”

“While I was at band practice, she arranged for Oksana to come over and spend the day with me, in effect auditioning for the role of wife and mom.”

“AND?” Clarissa teased.

“And nothing! We had a nice day together, she baked bread, cooked dinner, and we talked. Next week is Irina’s turn. I’m not sure after that, but Serafima is basically going to have all the eligible girls spend a Saturday with me to try to head off Kari at the pass, to use an old TV trope.”

“You could have a LOT of fun, Petrovich!” Clarissa teased.

“And get into a LOT of trouble!” I countered.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t see any harm in going along with Serafima’s plans for Saturdays, but I’m going to see Kari on Monday evening.”

“What about Fridays?”

“I’ll get a lot of grief from Serafima if I bring Kari again, but, honestly, I don’t think it’s fair to Kari to not invite her again.”

“You really like her that much?”

“It’s a work in progress,” I replied. “Anicka thinks we’re good for each other, and that encourages me to give it a try.”

“Doctor Blahnik was that good?” Clarissa asked with a smirk.

I laughed, “If you must know, yes, she was that good, but that’s not why. You know I’ve trusted her advice for years, and she’s been an excellent mentor and friend.”

“She thinks you should be with Kari?”

“Actually, she thinks Kari should be with me. She’s just encouraging me to give Kari a chance, which is a position with which I can’t really argue. That said, church is a major impediment for Kari, and would mean it would be a long time before we could get married, assuming that’s what I decide I want.”

“I have my opinions on that, but we don’t have enough time to get into it. How about we have breakfast on Wednesday? My shift doesn’t start until 9:00am and you aren’t on until 8:00pm.”

“True, but Rachel and I go to Liturgy on Wednesday morning, remember?”

“Hmm. Then how about Thursday evening after your shift? I traded for Monday night so I can come to the concert and party.”

“That sounds good. Just come by the house after 8:30pm.”

We hugged, and I went to the locker room to change into my street clothes, then headed home.

“How was your day?” Lara asked when I walked into the house.

“Why do I feel like I should have said ‘Honey, I’m home!’ when I walked in?”

“Somehow I don’t see myself in a Leave it to Beaver or Father Knows Best situation!”

“Well, for me, more like My Three Sons or The Courtship of Eddie’s Father.”

“Both were single dads; so was Mike Brady!”

“Yeah, but you never really saw that on the show. How was Rachel today?”

“She was her usual content, happy self,” Lara replied. “I put her on the rug in front of the fireplace for a short time, but she didn’t make any effort to move.”

“It’s a bit early for that, even for kids who are ahead of the curve, but it won’t be long at all. She’s started babbling a bit, so soon enough we’ll get ‘mama’ and ‘dada’.”

“In my child development class, they suggested that those words refer to mom and dad because they’re the first and easiest sounds to make. Since the first sounds are ‘ma’ and ‘da’ or ‘pa’, we assigned them to the parents.”

I nodded, “Something similar was said in the short class we had on child development in medical school. If I was going into pediatrics, I’d spend a lot more time learning those kinds of things, but that’s not my specialty, so the module in med school and this rotation are pretty much it. I won’t ever do any pediatric surgery, except perhaps in an extreme emergency when no pediatric surgeon is available.”

“It’s that different?”

“Enough that you need to specialize, just as pediatricians do for non-surgical care. It’s not all that different from geriatrics, which, interestingly, had its start in the Byzantine Empire, though there are indications that similar practices occurred in India before that. Most of what I’m learning is focused on patients from sixteen to sixty-five. Outside those ranges, you need to specialize. That’s not to say I can’t treat them in the ED, but it would be better if there were pediatric emergency medicine specialists.”

“Another change you want to make?”

“I actually read about that in one of my medical journals. Several hospitals have recognized the need and are developing training protocols for pediatric emergency medicine specialists. I think they’ll be similar to mine, in that I’ll be on the surgical service and assigned to the Emergency Department, while the pediatric emergency medicine specialists would be on the pediatric service and assigned to the Emergency Department. In both cases, we could work on our own service, but that would be rare.”

“So you could do elective or non-emergency surgery?”

“If staffing required it, yes, but that wouldn’t be my focus, just as working the wards wouldn’t be the focus of a pediatric emergency medicine specialist.”

“Go put your things away and change, dinner will be ready in five.”

“OK.”

I put my bag in the study and hung my medical coat on the coat rack in the corner, then went upstairs and changed into sweatpants and a polo shirt, my usual home attire. I checked on Rachel, who was asleep, then went downstairs to have dinner with Lara.

“OK to ask a potentially dangerous question?” Lara inquired after I’d said the blessing and we began eating.

“Yes,” I replied. “I think given where we are, there are plenty of questions to ask, though the answers might not be available.”

“You mean me caring for Rachel and us spending time together?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I mean, we both know the score, right?”

“That we are, in effect, exploring a relationship, though your current emotional and psychological state limits your range of action, at least at the moment.”

“Before you ask your dangerous question, how long do you think is appropriate to wait?”

“Heck if I know,” Lara replied. “I thought your mom was too hasty in marrying after the divorce, but that seems to have turned out really well. Your dad is a different story altogether.”

“I thought mom was being a bit hasty as well, but as she said, she met the right guy and it seemed foolish to wait. I have my own opinion on that, too.”

Lara laughed, “From what I know about you and your mom, your mom was horny and getting married solved that problem without need for confession!”

“This is where I stick my fingers in my ears and go ‘nah, nah, nah’ and say I can’t hear you!”

“Oh, please!” Lara said with a laugh, “You are perfectly comfortable with your mom being a sexual creature!”

“Yes, but it’s not one of my top ninety-nine things to think about!”

“My question, well, actually, I have a few, but I’ll start with this one — what’s up with you and Oksana?”

“Serafima was highly offended by the fact that I’ve been seeing Kari. Sound familiar?”

“The complaint Elizaveta made when she demanded you marry her!”

“Exactly,” I agreed. “Serafima modified her plan, which was going to be her then Alyssa, such that Oksana was here yesterday and Irina will be here next Saturday. I figured it was most conducive to my continued good health and ability to procreate in the future to not argue with Serafima.”

Lara laughed, “Elizaveta’s friends are absolutely following in the footsteps of their grandmothers!”

“No kidding!” I chuckled. “What they say about the bishops is true in my case too! I wasn’t afraid of the bishop or Metropolitan or any priest, but the women of the parish scare the heck out of me at times!”

“Including me?”

“You, like Katy Malenkov, rejected that entire system. That’s one of the reasons she went to Stanford. She goes to church, but she has absolutely not bought into the social system, if you will. Her parents invited me to dinner when Katy is home.”

“Interesting!”

“They’re hoping, I’m sure, but Katy was clear that she’s going to finish her Master’s then go to work in Silicon Valley. If I was going to do that, I’d have gone to med school at Stanford. I did consider it, and Katy considered going to OSU, but, in the end, she felt she needed to study at Stanford, and I didn’t disagree. And you know my take.”

“The same reason you can’t really consider Annette, because you don’t want to move to Tennessee.”

“Exactly. And why I’ll turn down Doctor Barton’s invitation to Match at the University of Chicago, and won’t apply to any hospitals more distant than Pittsburgh or Indianapolis, but you know I’ll Match at McKinley barring some kind of major screw up on my part.”

“Are you serious with Kari?”

“I’m not serious with anyone, for exactly the reason you mentioned before. She and I are having dinner tomorrow evening. Does that bother you?”

Lara shrugged, “No, not really. I know you aren’t going to be making a decision anytime soon, and I agree with that. The only question is what we do between now and then.”

“You mean, besides what you’re doing for Rachel and me?”

“Yes.”

“What do you want to do?” I asked.

Lara laughed softly, “A dangerous question!”

“And one I’d like you to answer honestly, please.”

“I think the real question is where you are and what you’re ready to do. I know you aren’t ready to make a commitment to someone now, and I suspect you won’t be before I begin my student teaching.”

“That’s pretty much what Anicka and I concluded when I spoke to her yesterday after band practice.”

“Before I answer, what’s your plan for Rachel then?”

“I don’t have a fully formulated plan, but Rachel will be able to go to daycare at the hospital, which runs from 6:00am to 6:00pm. And Serafima plans to stay home when she has her baby, which is August. I’m positive she’d watch Rachel, and hopefully by then my mother-in-law will be in a psychological state that would allow her to help.”

“Changing your mind on that?”

“Only slightly. There is no way I’ll let Yulia dictate anything, but I will keep my promise to Viktor that they’ll be able to see their granddaughter no matter what. Yulia caring for her occasionally, say, one evening a week, won’t be a problem, and by that point, Rachel will be a year old, so she’ll be sleeping all night. But that all depends on Yulia getting the counseling she needs.”

“Is she?”

“Viktor is basically forcing her to go, but I don’t know any more than that. She’s still on meds, and that’s going to be a primary consideration for how much I allow her to interact with Rachel. And before you give me an honest answer, would you answer something else first?”