Chapter 49: The Next Step

December 7, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

Our drive back was uneventful, with Lara and me sharing the driving duties. When we arrived, Lara headed home and I changed Rachel. I fed her and followed the prayer rule that Father Roman had given me while I rocked her. After I fed her, I saw there was a message on the machine and checked it. It was from Father Stephen saying that Angie was ‘resting comfortably’ but her medication was such that she wasn’t aware of her surroundings. He promised to see her every day and keep me updated.

Mark and Alyssa arrived as planned, so they could babysit Rachel while I had my date with Kari. I met Kari at the dorm, as we’d agreed, and we walked to the diner I’d frequented many times while I was a student at Taft.

“How are your dad and his girlfriend doing?” I asked.

“Other than both of them being bitchy because of the limits the doctors imposed, fine. They’ll both make a full recovery.”

“Good. As I said, in most cases I don’t find out what happens to patients once they leave the Emergency Department. We stabilize them, then transfer them, or, if they aren’t admitted, refer them to their primary care physician.”

“Doesn’t that frustrate you?”

“It did at first, but it’s the job. If I wanted to follow someone’s case, start to finish, I’d need to be a primary care physician and that doesn’t hold my interest.”

“Before medical school, what did you do for fun?”

“I studied a lot, and mostly just hung out with my two close friends. My only real hobby was collecting albums, and then playing my guitar, once I learned at the behest of my friends.”

“Bookworm?”

“I was once described as a religious, bookish, introverted nerd, and I’d say that fit.”

“That no longer seems to be true, though I’m sure you spend a lot of time studying.”

“Not as much as we did during First Year when we had anatomy, but, yes, I do study a lot. I mostly do it with my flashcards, though I do study from my textbooks for surgical procedures and for things I might encounter on a particular service. How often do you practice piano?”

“Usually about two hours every day. How often do you practice your guitar?”

“Two hours on Saturday with Code Blue, and I usually play for Rachel several times during the week.”

“Can I ask a blunt question?”

“Yes, of course.”

“If you have no time, how are we going to get to know each other?”

That was an excellent question and identified the underlying problem with any relationship with someone I didn’t already know and who wasn’t Orthodox. One or the other might be manageable, but both seemed to present an insurmountable hurdle. The thought about an Orthodox girl caused Elizaveta’s complaint to ring in my ears — that I had, with the exception of Katy, basically ignored the girls at Saint Michael. And I was doing it again.

The question I had to ask myself was what it was about Kari that attracted me to her. She was a pretty redhead, and had attracted my attention when she flirted with me in the ED. That might have been the end of it, but she, despite me having given her ‘both barrels’ as it were, continued to express interest.

Doctor Blahnik apparently thought it was worth Kari getting to know me, and had encouraged me to see Kari again. I trusted Doctor Blahnik, but one thing that called her advice into question was that she wasn’t considering the religious aspects, which I felt were potentially insurmountable. And that argued for one of the college girls at one of the parishes. There were girls who were in High School, but I felt they had to be off-limits, though a girl who was a Senior and was eighteen would graduate in May.

“That really is the challenge,” I replied. “And all I can say is that you have to believe it’s worth the effort. If you don’t, then tell me, please.”

“Do you think it’s worth the effort?” Kari asked.

That was an excellent question, and really, it depended on Kari’s feelings about Orthodox Christianity. No matter what else I thought, without a commitment on her part in that regard, it didn’t matter how much I liked her. I simply couldn’t see any possible future where I wasn’t heavily involved at church, at least insofar as my training permitted it. In my mind, that meant worshiping as a family, which meant a wife who was Orthodox, either cradle or convert.

“You didn’t run away screaming in terror when I unloaded on you during our first lunch,” I replied. “That made me feel that you’re worth getting to know. That doesn’t mean it would be an easy path to follow, but then again, neither is my vocation nor my faith. In the end, though, the question is whether you think it’s worth the effort. You did accept a date with me when you could have said ‘no’. Why?”

“Is it OK to give a silly answer?”

“I’ve been known to be silly around my friends.”

“I figured I should at least go on a regular date with the only guy I’ve ever let take off my sweater!”

I chuckled, “Cute, but you do remember what I said, right?”

“Yes, that it wasn’t like that. But that doesn’t make it any less silly to say!”

She had a point, at least from her perspective, but from mine, it was such a different thing that I didn’t find it silly. I really wondered if I should correct her again, but decided that what I’d said initially, as well as her acknowledgment that she remembered what I’d said, was sufficient. That said, I had a goofy response all teed up, and decided, upon further thinking, to actually say it.

“I promise that should the opportunity arise again, I won’t use bandage scissors!”

Kari laughed, “Thanks! But I still say the hospital owes me $28!”

“You can ask Patient Services, but I don’t think they’ll be receptive!”

“In all seriousness, why not check my neck and let me remove my sweater?”

“I was asked to hook up the monitor, and I had no idea when a Resident or Attending would be available to check your neck, given they were treating your dad and his girlfriend.”

“But did I really need an EKG?”

“That’s a diagnostic choice by the treating physician,” I replied.

“But she was a medical student, just like you!”

“True, but she was still acting as the treating physician. Those choices are made based on experience and circumstances. It’s not all that different from the fact that Teri ordered a ‘trauma panel’, which includes a blood alcohol level.”

“Which you said you wouldn’t have ordered.”

“That’s true, but an EKG is standard for any head trauma, which the contusion on your forehead indicated, in addition to your complaint of ‘whiplash’ symptoms. Any head trauma can cause arrhythmia. I daresay you’d rather have to replace the sweater than for us to have missed an irregular heart rhythm that might have threatened your life!”

“When you put it that way...”

“And that’s exactly why we’re cautious, and why you were in the cervical collar until a licensed physician could check your neck, and why we ran all the tests.”

“I know we haven’t even had dinner yet,” Kari said as we walked into the diner, “but how do you see this going?”

The hostess asked us whether we wanted a table or booth, and whether we wanted smoking or not, and then sat us at a booth in non-smoking.

“Well,” I said with a grin, “dating, engagement, marriage, honeymoon, and kids!”

“You’re ready to get engaged?” she asked, surprised.

“No, but that is the usual progression, right?”

“Yes, but that’s not what I meant you dodo! And you know it!”

“I suppose a few dates to see if we both agree we’re compatible, then you probably need to come to church. I can get you a book to read to give you an idea of what you’d be signing up for.”

“Doctor Blahnik actually suggested one, and I found a copy at the bookstore. It’s called The Orthodox Way and was written by a bishop who was Anglican.”

“That’s the best introductory book for someone with your background,” I replied. “If you’ve started reading it and you’re here, that’s a positive sign.”

“It talks about stuff I never even considered, and some stuff I don’t totally understand because I never had any religion classes.”

The waitress came over, interrupting the conversation, and took our orders.

“I believe I mentioned that the only way to truly learn about Orthodoxy is to experience it.”

“Isn’t that true about most things? You don’t learn to be a doctor by reading books, right?”

“Absolutely right. I’ve made the comparison with learning the rules to baseball versus actually playing it. That was when I was arguing for more hands-on training and less book learning. In Europe, they cut two years of book learning out of the program, and by all reports, their doctors are every bit as good as ours.”

“What sports do you like?”

“I’m a Reds, Bengals, and Penguins fan, though I don’t have too many opportunities to see games.”

“Penguins?”

“The Pittsburgh hockey team,” I replied. “Cincinnati used to have one, but they lost it when the WHA and NHL merged in 1979. Mark Messier played for them at one point.”

“Who?” Kari asked.

“He plays with Wayne Gretzky on the Edmonton Oilers. You have heard of Wayne Gretzky, right?”

“I don’t follow hockey at all. I’m a Reds and Buckeyes fan.”

“Changing topics, what do you plan to do when you graduate?”

“Get a Master’s degree and eventually play for a symphony.”

“That’s a serious challenge, given how few roles are available. What’s your backup plan?”

“I’m going to get my minor in education so I could teach music.”

“What about kids?” I asked.

“At least one, but I haven’t really thought about it because I figured it wouldn’t happen for quite a few years. I get the idea that you want one sooner rather than later.”

“My wife and I had planned kids two years apart, and I think that’s a good number, but that’s not likely now. I don’t have a specific timeframe, but it’s true that I wouldn’t want to wait too long because it would create a big age difference between the kids.”

“Is that a problem?” Kari asked.

“A problem? No. It just seems better to me, and it’s pretty common for people at church and in my family — my sister and I are just over three years apart and my cousins are just over two years apart. Obviously, that’s not going to happen.”

“Obviously,” Kari agreed with a slight smile. “I mean, unless you were planning to skip straight to the honeymoon.”

“I did tell Rachel that Daddy absolutely likes cute redheads!”

“So you did notice!”

“I did!”

The waitress brought our meals, and I said the blessing aloud, as I wanted Kari to hear it, and become used to it.

“How often do you pray?” she asked as we began to eat.

“I say morning and evening prayers, read the daily Scripture lessons, and then at other times I pray the Jesus prayer. I pray at meals and, of course, at church. I also pray for every patient, though silently.”

“Me?”

“You were, indeed, a patient!”

“What do you pray for?”

“The most common Orthodox prayer, and the only one I ever use besides the formal prayers in our prayer books, is ‘Lord have mercy’, though the Jesus prayer adds a bit of complexity — ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner’.”

“You don’t pray for specific things?”

“No. God isn’t a «djinn» who grants wishes. The point of prayer is to align our hearts with God’s will, not to move Him to a specific action, which, if you think about it, makes no actual sense.”

“I’ve always heard people pray for things, you know, like when they give the invocation at a football game or the preachers on TV.”

“I wouldn’t draw any conclusions about being a Christian from preachers on television! True Christianity is about as far from Pat Robertson and PTL or Jerry Falwell and The Moral Majority as could possibly be.”

“And you know the truth about Christianity?”

“The Orthodox Church does, and it has been teaching the same message for nearly two thousand years.”

“I find that hard to believe!”

“Me, too, so you’re in good company.”

“Wait! What do you mean, ‘you, too’?”

I smiled, “In Mark’s Gospel, Jesus told the father of a young man who was possessed by a demon that everything is possible for one who believes. The man replied to Jesus — ‘I do believe; help my unbelief’.”

“That makes no sense!”

“There is also a lesson in John’s Gospel with the story of ‘Doubting Thomas’, to whom Jesus said ‘blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed’, but not as a rebuke. The lesson there to learn is that doubting is OK.”

“But how can you doubt and believe at the same time?”

“That’s where faith enters the picture. If Saint Thomas the Apostle can doubt, and have that reputation nearly two thousand years later, I’m in very good company. I know you’re confused, but the only answer I can give is the one Jesus gave to the disciples of John — ‘Come and see’.”

“You mean church?”

“Yes.”

“But you won’t be at church on Sunday, at least for the rest of the year, right?”

“That’s true. We are having liturgies on Wednesday mornings during the Nativity Fast, and of course, on Christmas Day.”

“Nativity what?”

“Fast. It’s like Great Lent, only not as strict.”

“So, like fish on Fridays? I know that because the High School always served breaded fish on Fridays for Catholics.”

“We’re quite a bit more serious about fasting,” I replied. “But don’t worry about that at this point.”

“It all seems so ... complicated.”

“From the outside looking in, I can see that. Having been born into the Church, I find that it’s all very simple.”

“Do you talk about anything besides medicine or church?”

“Music, science fiction, and movies, among other things. I’ll point out that you are controlling the conversation; I’m just responding to what you’re saying or asking.”

“Don’t you want to know anything about me?”

“I have asked things, in response to your questions. May I ask why you’re living in the dorms when your dad lives in the area?”

“Mainly because I don’t need a car, but also because I wanted the whole ‘college experience’, which meant not living at home. Besides, I think my dad and Shawna enjoy the privacy. And I don’t feel like my dad is always looking over my shoulder.”

“Did he?”

“Don’t all dads? I mean, at least to a point?”

“Yes, though some are mellower than others.”

“How mellow will you be when Rachel begins dating?” Kari asked with a sly smile.

“Ask me in about fourteen years! But my theory is that you teach them and guide them, and let them make their own decisions. One lesson I learned growing up is that parents cannot control teenagers, no matter what the parent might think.”

“I can’t imagine you were that bad!”

“I wasn’t,” I grinned, “but not for lack of trying!”

“I didn’t get in any real trouble,” Kari said, “but Dad was pretty strict. Mom couldn’t have possibly cared less, so long as whatever I did had no impact on her precious legal career.”

“I have to ask,” I said, “because I’m focused on my medical career.”

Kari smiled, “Bringing your daughter on our first date showed that you are nothing like my mom! It’s one thing to be focused and determined, which I am about music; it’s a whole different thing to be completely single-minded and self-absorbed. You didn’t walk away from your daughter for your career!”

“It’s a delicate balancing act, and I wonder at times if I’m balancing it correctly.”

“My mom never wondered; if it wasn’t ‘all her, all the time’, then she was doing it wrong in her mind.”

“Have you seen her since she moved to New York City?”

“No. Not even a birthday card or Christmas card. When Dad refused her ultimatum to drop everything and move to New York, she left and that was it.”

“I don’t understand how someone could do that,” I said, shaking my head.

“Me neither,” Kari agreed.

We finished our meal, then passed on dessert so we could walk to the ice cream shop, which was just a few doors away.

“Seriously?” Kari asked. “A single scoop of chocolate on a sugar cone?”

She had ordered a turtle sundae with extra hot caramel.

“I’m a creature of habit!” I declared. “And I enjoy this! You enjoy yours!”

“It just seems so boring!” Kari protested.

“It could be worse,” I replied with a grin. “I could have ordered a single scoop of vanilla!”

“What do you consider exciting?”

‘Sex!’ I wanted to say, but given all the clues I’d had from Kari, that was probably the last thing I should say. The fact that I’d thought that made it clear that my encounters with Annette and Anicka had dissolved whatever mental block had created a complete lack of desire. That was a good thing, though Kari and I were nowhere near that point.

“Besides being a dad?” I asked. “Learning new medical procedures. If you’re looking for someone into skydiving or some other form of extreme entertainment, you’ve chosen the wrong guy!”

“Would you go skydiving?”

“Intentionally throwing myself out of a perfectly serviceable airplane doesn’t strike me as wise,” I replied.

“Just for the thrill?”

“A bit too ‘thrilling’ if your parachute malfunctions. Would you jump out of an airplane?”

“Maybe. A friend of mine did it as his graduation present and said it was a rush.”

“I’ll stick to the adrenaline rush I get in responding to a trauma!”

“That’s just weird!” Kari protested.

“And yet, it’s one of the key traits for a successful ER doctor.”

“That doesn’t make it any less weird!”

Which, from her perspective, I understood. From my perspective, it was normal. We finished our ice cream and then walked back to the campus. Kari gave me a quick peck on the lips, which I took as a positive sign. I quickly walked home, relieved Subdeacon Mark and Alyssa, and began my bedtime routine with evening prayer.

December 8, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

“How was your day?” Lara asked when I arrived home on Tuesday evening after a day with Doctor O’Neill in the pediatric practice.

“Clinic days are fairly routine,” I replied. “The usual collection of checkups and sick kids.”

“Do you get to do anything?”

“Mostly take vitals, but also administer injections. They don’t do routine blood draws for kids.”

“It doesn’t seem to bother you the way it did for the GP practice.”