Chapter 16: The Calm Before the Storm

September 26, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

“What did you think, Mike?” Robby asked as the closing credits of Star Trek: The Next Generation played on Anicka’s 27” Sony Trinitron.

“I need to see more episodes to be sure, but it has the feel of ‘pop’ science fiction. I think it has potential, but it also has the potential to turn into Dallas or Days of Our Lives, just set in space.”

“Harsh!” Elias declared.

“Maybe,” I replied, “but I want to see some serious character development, cool special effects, moral dilemmas, and interesting action. I’m afraid that ‘Q’ will be a recurring character, and I’m not sure I like him. That said, I do like Commander Data, at least as a concept, and they can do a lot with that, including debates about man versus machine. Oh, and Doctor Crusher is smoking hot!”

Everyone laughed.

“Who’s not a sucker for redheads with green eyes?” Jason asked, earning him a smack on the arm from Fran.

“I just want this to be edgy, the way the original series was,” I said. “Granted, it’s a bit dated and seems campy now, but Kirk and Uhura had the first interracial kiss ever on television. Well, if you don’t count Kirk kissing green aliens! Not to mention having a black female bridge officer in 1967, which was pushing things given what was going on around that time.”

“It was nice to see McCoy, even if they didn’t actually say it was him,” Robby added.

“I agree,” I replied. “I’d guess by this time, Kirk is dead, Spock is likely in command or perhaps went back to Vulcan, and Mr. Scott has retired. It wouldn’t surprise me if Spock shows up at some point, given Vulcan lifespans. Anyway, I need to get to bed so I can be up for church in the morning.”

“Are you planning to serve, Deacon?” Mark asked.

“Yes. Mrs. Sokolov arranged with two of the teen girls who aren’t in the choir to watch Rachel.”

I saw Clarissa smirk, made eye contact, and rolled my eyes slightly at her. I went to Rachel’s bassinet, which was in the guest room Robby and Sophia would be using, as they were giving the other two couples a ‘night off’, and kissed Rachel’s cheek. I went back, said ‘good night’ and then went upstairs. I took my Seconal, brushed my teeth, relieved myself, then climbed into bed and quickly fell asleep.

September 27, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

On Sunday morning, Rachel and I headed to church, and before we went in, we stopped to pray at Elizaveta’s grave. I’d shortened the prayers to simply the Trisagion, though, on the Monday following Rachel’s baptism, I’d say the entire set of prayers, as that would be the fortieth day. From then on, the tradition was to only say the full prayers once per year, though Elizaveta would be commemorated with the departed during the ‘Great Entrance’, and her name would be repeated so long as the parish existed. The normal practice was to list only the recently departed — with ‘recent’ meaning ten years or so, with the rest commemorated as ‘all those faithful who have gone before us’. Because she was a deacon’s wife, though, her name would be remembered by the parish ‘eternally’.

I went into the building and was greeted by Sara and Katherine, two High School Juniors who had volunteered to watch Rachel, then joined Father Nicholas to say our entry prayers. Once those were completed, we went into the vestry to put on our liturgical garb. We went through the usual routine of preparation, and then served Matins and the Divine Liturgy. When we finished, we had lunch with the congregation, and I left when Sunday School began.

I’d thought about trying to teach the teens and young adults, but I couldn’t commit to being available every Sunday, as I had no idea what my schedule would be like beyond the end of November. I’d discussed a possible solution with Father Nicholas, and in January, if things went well, Mark, Elias, and I would team teach, with one of them covering the class if I wasn’t available. It was something I missed doing, and I really wanted to get back to it.

When I arrived home, I fed Rachel while sitting in the rocking chair, then played my guitar for her while she slept in her crib. Just before 5:00pm, I packed up our things and we headed for Anicka’s house for dinner with Mark, Alyssa, Elias, Serafima, Robby, and Sophia. The girls did the cooking, and my ‘partner’ for the evening was Rachel, though she obviously didn’t help with preparation or cleanup.

“Are you ready for next weekend?” I asked Mark as we drank coffee or tea after the meal.

“I think so,” he replied. “Though recent events have revealed the true enormity of the commitment.”

I nodded, “As I’ve said, I always knew the possibility, and accepted it; I just didn’t think it was likely to happen, at least not before we were grandparents or even great-grandparents, and given I was six years older, the odds were I’d repose before her.”

“We actually discussed it,” Alyssa said.

“As you should. I basically discounted the possibility and then reality chose to smack me in the face, punch me in the gut, and break my heart.”

“Are you going to be OK with Rachel after the 1st?” Serafima asked.

“I don’t have much choice,” I replied. “But she’s sleeping three to four hours in a stretch at night, so if we get the timing right, I’ll only have to get up once, and that is much more manageable. Not to mention the rocking chair is almost as soothing to me as it is to her. Not having to walk around will make it easier to get back to sleep.”

“And Lara is set for all five weekdays, right?” Alyssa asked.

“Yes. And my in-laws for Saturday mornings. If there’s ever a conflict such that they aren’t available, my mom will drive here, and Father Nicholas and Matushka offered to fill in if there’s an emergency, as did the Sokolovs. And I know I can count on all of you as well. I didn’t realize what was involved in raising a kid on your own while working full time, and I totally understand the situation my friend April found herself in, and Tasha’s situation. And I’ve just scratched the surface after a month.”

“I suppose it’s easier with a stay-at-home mom,” Serafima said.

“Which is what my mom did until we were school-age,” I said. “Then my grandmother watched us after school until Mom came home from work. If Elizaveta and her mom hadn’t been at odds, and if my mother-in-law hadn’t, in effect, demanded I turn Rachel over to her to raise, I might consider something similar to what my parents did. Well, assuming Yulia recovers from her extreme grief.”

“You seem to be doing much better now that you’re sleeping,” Robby observed.

I nodded, “That has helped tremendously, and I think I’m more or less back on an even keel. The rubber will meet the road starting on Thursday. But being in the ER is where I feel I belong, so that will help. OB/GYN was interesting, so far as it went, but not the kind of medicine I want to practice. That said, it did help me develop my bedside manner, and might lead to me having a step-sister.”

“Oh?” Sophia asked. “How?”

“My mom and Stefan have applied to be foster parents for a young woman who was not getting support at home after finding herself pregnant at fourteen. If everything goes to plan, my mom and Stefan will eventually adopt her. They should hear back about final approval for fostering by the end of the week, and the girl, Elaine, will move in with them along with her baby, who she named April.”

“You set that up?” Sophia asked.

“Once I heard the story and what was going to happen, I spoke to my mom and set the wheels in motion. Stefan practices family law, so he knew pretty much all the right people to speak with and how to make the system work. It’s the background checks that take time.”

“That’s totally cool, Deacon!” Mark declared.

“I ended up in a bit of hot water with the OB Chief Attending over it, because I ‘took too great an interest in a patient’. He said the same thing about a woman who was having trouble laboring who I spent time with. But I was following my Resident’s orders, so I didn’t get in any real trouble, just a talking to.”

“Hang on!” Elias protested. “Isn’t it your job to take care of patients? And isn’t spending time with them part of it?”

“Yes, it is. The point the Chief was making was valid, but only to a point. There is a division of labor where some things are done by doctors, some by nurses, some by social workers, and so on, and with doctors there is specialization. For the most part, my role in the ER is going to be ‘treat and street’ as the saying goes — that is, treat the patient then safely discharge them as quickly as possible.

“On other services you spend more time with patients, but there is a limit. The OB Chief is old-school, and has a very different take on proper care for women in labor than I think is appropriate, and the female Residents agree. They call him a dinosaur, and I think they’re right. If it were up to him, women would still be routinely sedated during delivery, which was done for the convenience of the doctors, not for the good of the patient. I can’t abide by that.”

“There’s no way!” Serafima declared. “When I eventually have a baby, I want to be awake and aware the whole time!”

I nodded, “And I think most women agree with you. Doctors who began practicing before about 1970 think more like the Chief. He’s had plenty of time and opportunity to get with the program and hasn’t, and I think he needs to retire. I said as much in my written evaluation, though couched in properly political language.”

“He’s going to be pissed”! Robby declared.

“Yeah, but he doesn’t get to see it until after he turns in his evaluation of me. That’s done on purpose to prevent retaliation.”

“What happens now?”

“The medical school will review what I wrote, discuss it with the Medical Director at the hospital, and they’ll consider what to do about it. Several of the Residents have already complained, and the one to whom I was assigned said she won’t accept an Attending spot so long as the current Chief is still in charge. Maybe nothing happens, but I think it might, because as a visiting student, I was effectively an outside observer — not part of their teaching program.”

“Would you do the same for someone here?” Mark asked.

“I did, in effect, when I complained about being told to stand in a corner, be quiet, and simply watch for eight weeks in a medical office. The other doctors in the practice disagreed, and they appointed a new medical director.”

“Because of your complaint?”

“I was the catalyst, but things were already not good. That’s the same as at the hospital in Cincinnati. Call it the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. Our study group has committed to each other to basically call out things we see are wrong and try to effect change. Most medical students don’t do that, mostly out of fear. But all six of us are in the top twenty at the school, and Fran, Clarissa, and I are the top three.”

“Who’s number one?” Robby asked. “Fran?”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence!” I said sarcastically.

Robby laughed, “I was going on what you said happened in High School with Jocelyn and Dale! I should have used Taft as my measure!”

“The difference is literally a few points, not percentage points, but points. I’m first, then Clarissa, then Fran. Peter and Maryam are fifth and sixth, and Nadine is twentieth. I expect Nadine to move up another few spots, but it’s more difficult now that we’re into our rotations.”

“Don’t you have another test coming up?” Robby asked.

“Not for another eighteen months. The ‘Step 2’ exam isn’t nearly as tough as the ‘Step 1’ exam, but you do have to pass to graduate.”

“What do you have planned for tomorrow?” Mark asked.

“A quiet, relaxing day, then dinner with Doctor Smith and Doctor Forsberg. Tuesday I have no plans, and Wednesday, I have my visit with Doctor Smith and Rachel has hers with Doctor O’Neill, a newly minted GP in Pediatrics. I had her as my Resident for my Preceptorship.”

“Does Rachel get inoculations?” Alyssa asked.

“Not at this appointment. The first one, for polio, is at two months. MMR and DPT come later, usually around age one. And she won’t receive the smallpox vaccine we all received, as they stopped that in 1977 when the disease was effectively eradicated. There have been a few cases since, but no outbreaks.”

“That’s the scars we all have on our arms, right?” Serafima asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

Rachel stirred, so I changed her diaper and got her a bottle. I could tell right away she wasn’t happy, and deduced it was the rocking chair, so I improvised by walking and moving my arms a bit as she drank her bottle. After I’d fed Rachel, everyone agreed we’d take a walk, which we did, with Rachel in her stroller. When we returned to the house, I decided to go to bed, so I handed Rachel to Sophia, and then headed upstairs.

September 30, 1987, McKinley, Ohio

Monday and Tuesday had been quiet and relaxing, and I’d spent some time with Lara and had dinner with Doctor Smith and Doctor Forsberg, but mostly it was just Rachel and me. On Wednesday morning, I took Rachel to see Doctor O’Neill for a one-month checkup.

“She’s doing very well,” Doctor O’Neill said. “How are you doing?”

“It’s been rough, but with a lot of help from my friends, I’ve been able to care for Rachel and keep up with my training.”

“I’m positive I know the answer to this question, but formula only, right?”

“Are there still wet nurses?” I asked. “I mean, here in the US?”

“I doubt it, but you never know. Any juice or sugar water?”

“No.”

“You can start giving her small amounts of apple juice, either as part of her meal, or in between if she wakes up before it’s time to eat, which will happen more often in the next few months. Unfortunately, sleeping through the night is probably three to four months away, though some babies transition earlier. Any signs of diaper rash?”

“No. I’m very careful to clean her thoroughly when I change her diaper, and I know my friends do as well.”

“And you know to wipe away from her genitals, right?”

“Yes. A neonatal nurse ran through the important points before I brought Rachel home.”

“Do you have any questions for me?”

“No. If I recall correctly, she has her first polio inoculation at two months.”

“Correct. Make the appointment with JoAnne at the front desk. It’ll just be the jab and we’ll take Rachel’s height and weight, unless you have some concerns. As always, if you have questions, any time, day or night, call the pediatric hotline at Moore Memorial Hospital and they’ll answer your questions.”

“Thanks, Doc,” I replied.

“She seems like a very happy baby. She didn’t fuss at all.”

“Only when she has a dirty diaper or she’s hungry. I’m hoping that temperament lasts until she graduates college!”

Doctor O’Neill laughed, “Good luck with THAT! At about twelve, the hormone overload will turn her into an alien, the same way it does for every kid entering puberty!”

“Not me,” I replied. “I was the weird kid who never had wild mood swings nor did I ever feel out of sorts.”

“If that’s genetic, you might get your wish; I wouldn’t count on it!”

“Is there anything I need to be doing differently?” I asked. “Or anything I need to be aware of?”

“She’s a healthy baby girl and you appear to be about as well adjusted as anyone in your situation could be. Just don’t hesitate to call with questions. A nurse is available on the pediatric hotline twenty-four hours a day.”

“Thanks, Doctor.”

“We’ll see you and Rachel in a month, then.”

I put Rachel in her carrier and went to the reception desk to make an appointment, which required the receptionist to check with Doctor O’Neill about an outside of normal hours appointment to accommodate my ER schedule, and once we’d discussed options, we set the appointment for Saturday, October 24th at 1:00pm. That set, I left the medical building and headed home.

Rachel and I spent time together, and Lara came to the cottage for lunch. After lunch, I left Rachel with Anna and Yulia, and drove to the medical building where Doctor Smith practiced for my checkup.

“How are you feeling, Mike?” Doctor Smith asked when he came into the exam room.

“A lot better than I was at my last appointment. I was actually surprised you didn’t ask on Monday evening.”

“That was pleasure; this is business. You’ll learn to separate those two things. How many hours are you sleeping each night?”

“About ten,” I replied. “I had a bit less on Friday and Saturday nights because I had to be up early on Saturday for band practice and Sunday for church.”

“You aren’t going to take anything tonight, correct?”

“Correct. With the help of my female friends we have Rachel eating around 10:00pm, 2:00am, and 6:00am. That should let me get about seven hours of sleep each night. It’s not ideal, but I was functioning on less sleep before.”

“Some people don’t need as much as the typical person; that said, it’s very easy to burn yourself out. Fortunately, you have a regular shift for the next two months.”

“My friend Lara volunteered to stay the occasional night if I need a break, though if that happens, I’ll need to sleep at Doctor Blahnik’s house to avoid the gossipy women at church.”

“Is that a major stress point?”

“It was, and it could be in the future. We discussed the requirements of my ordination on Monday night, but I didn’t mention the gossips at church who were upset that I chose Elizaveta’s closest friends to help, along with a couple of close male friends and their girlfriends, instead of the older women who thought it was their right.”