At this evening’s meeting of the Naughty Girls Club, Jessica made an announcement. “As most of you know, tomorrow is Club Night at the school. The clubs are putting on little skits, and I think it’s only right that we participate. What do you say?”

“Uh,” said Jill.

“What sort of skit?” asked Joanna.

“It’s going to be called ‘Table Manors,” Jessica said.

“Oh,” said Jill.

“My mom is always complaining about my table manners,” Joanna said.

“No doubt,” said Jessica, “but it’s not that kind of manners.”

“Oh,” said Joanna.

“What kind of manners?” asked Jill.

“Manors like in estates. Although the other sort of manners also applies. So, Joanna, if you’ll just slip into your costume, we can start on the rehearsal.”

“What about my costume?” Jill asked.

“Right. Just take off your clothes,” Jessica said.

“But...” Jill began.

“Take off your clothes,” Jessica repeated. “You’ve got to learn to follow direction. In this play, your role is Maid Piglet.”

Joanna, now wearing her outfit, asked what her role was.

“Count Cunt,” Jessica said.

Maid Piglet scowled. Count Cunt smiled. Jessica said, “Here’s how it goes. Count Cunt comes on stage. There’s a table and a chair and on the table is a wine bottle, a very nice Merlot, and a glass of wine. Count Cunt sits on the chair and picks up the bottle and pours herself a glass of wine. She says, Wait a second, there’s something wrong. She calls out, Piglet, get in here.

“Piglet enters. Is the wine okay? she asks.

“The wine is fine, Count Cunt says. But what happened to the table?

“It’s right here, Piglet says.

“Yeah, but why is it so short?

“It was wobbling last time. When you fucked me I was afraid I might fall off. So I had the workmen trim down the legs.

“But now it’s too low, Count Cunt says. Piglet, hop on up on the table and you’ll see. Piglet, hop on up on the table. Good. Now lie on your back.”

Piglet hopped onto the table.

“See, Piglet says. Much easier to get on the table.

“Yeah, Count Cunts says, but now your fuck hole is much too low for my cock.

“Oh, says Piglet. I never thought of that.”

“Sure you didn’t, Count Cunt says. But if you get on your hands and knees.”

“Do pigs have hands and knees?” Joanna asked.

“Just do it,” Jessica said.

Piglet got on her hands and knees.

“Mmm, Count Cunt says. Might not be perfect for your cunt, but it should be just right for your asshole.”

“So now I fuck her asshole?” Joanna asked.

Jessica nodded.

“Should I have a strap-on or something?” Joanna asked.

“Just use the wine bottle,” Jessica said.

“I don’t like this,” Piglet said.

Jessica said, “Would you prefer white? We have a very nice Sauvignon Blanc on ice.”