“I’m scared,” Roland admitted. His hands were shaking. Two years older than me, Mom and Dad both to me, and he’d just turned eighteen. I’d never seen him that way before. “See, I gotta pop someone.”

“What? Who? What you talkin’ about?”

“I got to, man. Else...”

He showed me the gun.

“Where’d you get that?”

“Don’t matter. Forget it, man. Just forget it. The less you know.”

“This is crazy,” I told him. “You can’t do this.”

“Just forget it.”

Next morning I woke up early, before Roland. I found the gun easy. I took it. Stuffed it in my backpack. Headed out. I knew I couldn’t go to school. I figured I’d ditch it someplace. In the lake. But what was I going to do, walk to the lake? Way too far. Maybe just in a sewer or something. Like I knew how to ditch anything in the sewer. I walked around for hours, a light rain started, and when the library opened, I went in. Thought maybe I’d hide the gun behind some books. Stupid idea. What if some kid found it? The new library was all glass. I went up to the second floor. No one was in the quiet room. Just a few chairs and little tables. I had my schoolbooks. I read about Charlamagne. Took my backpack to the bathroom. Wiped the gun again and again. But what about the bullets? What about the clip? Just ditch the whole thing where no one will ever find it. I bought a candy bar, then read some more. Nothing I read was sticking. I’d have to read it again. Like that would do any good.

The rain was coming down a little harder. A white car was going along the street outside. Slow. Then I saw another car, another white car, headed right at it. Looked like they were going to crash.

But just in time the white car, the first one, stopped along the street. A woman got out. What happened to the second white car? There was no second white car. It was a reflection in the wall of glass to my right. I thought about that. What would have happened if the first car hadn’t stopped?

“Where are you?” A text from Gena. It was after school and she could use her phone.

“Library,” I said. “In the quiet room.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“What’s going on? It’s something. I know it.”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m coming over. Don’t move.”

She showed up fifteen minutes later.

“You in trouble? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m just takin’ a day off.”

“That’s crazy. You missed the math final.”

I wanted to tell her about the gun. About my brother. But what good would that do?

“As long as I’m here, might as well study,” she said. “Final final tomorrow.”

“Right,” I said. “Final final.”

“Finally,” she said. “Then we can ... Like we...”

Her grin. I wanted to kiss her so bad.