Chapter 6: Understanding

I jerked upright and went to close my nightgown. Wasn’t sure why, it was closed. Then I remembered last night. What an amazing dream and as much as I hated doing it to Ernie, what a wonderful sight seeing his shorts stained with fresh cum. I wish I was awake for all of it, the thrill of me touching him, the excitement of me bringing on that explosion. I could still hear his words when I touched the tip of his cock telling me not some, all. That boy was everything to me and I had to tone down my new arousals. I had no right to be the cause of his embarrassments. Still, having him in my dream was worthy of future touches to myself. I sat up and before I headed down for a much-needed cup of coffee and a few private minutes to collect my thoughts I changed from my nightgown to an oversized tee shirt. not something I would wear outside the house but more comfortable for hanging out in. I had a busy day planned ahead so may as well get it started now. I placed my nightgown on the bed and slipped the tee over my head. as I pulled it down I glanced at my naked body.

Maybe I wouldn’t win a swimsuit competition but I liked what I seen. For a woman of my age I thought I looked pretty damn good. I let the shirt fall and admired how my boobs could still keep the eyes on focus. I wish my ass was a little smaller but we can’t have everything. I’d rather have a bigger butt to go with bigger boobs than a sweet little butt and boobs so small they would get lost in Ernie’s smaller hands. I wondered if I should wear more, at least panties, i was after all what I assumed to be his mother’s age. Na, I said, I have nothing to hide from Ernie, if he wants to look at my boobs or my butt, who cares, he can and I wouldn’t let it bother me.

I went out in the hall and noticed Ernie, like me, slept with his bedroom door open. I went to look in on him and he was out like a light. Sleeping with a sheet covering what I knew was a cute body. I stood there in his doorway watching him sleep. I felt something unusual for him, something that made me smile. Ernie was rapidly becoming important to me. He made me feel alive and more than that he made me feel wanted, something everyone wants to have. I leaned against the door frame for no other reason than watch his peaceful mind rest. Ernie had me star struck and he wasn’t even old enough to shave. I felt a deep sigh as I left him to sleep and went to begin my day.

While the coffee brewed I went over my day in my head. it would be busy and I wanted to treat Ernie to something he probably hasn’t known in some time, dinner in a nice restaurant. That would mean a set of nice clothes, and shoes. I had a thought that made me giggle like a schoolgirl, maybe I should watch as he tries on some new boxers. I made a cup and went to sit outside; it was still early and quiet out there.

I loved the peace and quiet. It let me go off and clear my head without any distractions. I knew I had some serious stuff to get off my mind, stuff that could affect how Ernie looked at me in the up-and-coming days. I have let things happen and now it was time to decide how I wanted to go forward. Ernie was my student first, and young boy second, now my responsibility third. Those things were carved in stone and could not be moved or changed. Where the difficulty came in was he was also such a charmer, a person that enjoyed my company, a young man I could visualize exploring his curiosities with. Ernie made me feel whole again. He made me remember what excitement and anticipation felt like. After last night, my dream and how it became an unknown part of his reality, he was my reason for having those wonderful tingles. How or why is not clear, was is clear is the thoughts I have of what I would like to see and enjoy. I think it would be amazing just to watch him shower. Watch him lather his slender body, touch himself and maybe found arousal. I don’t have to touch or be a part of it but able to be there and enjoy him enjoying himself. I think about the dream and how I have never had anyone physically take me for his own selfish needs. How Ernie could be that someone and for that one night I would submit to anything demanded of me. I know it was a disgusting thought to have with him but he was a male and he was the one male that wanted to be here with me. I was up and down with everything from nurturing him into a fine adult to cuddling with him in bed even if sex was not an option. I wanted to watch him grow with me and me with him.