A Personal Story: a Peek Into the Twisted Mind of a Fetishist
Copyright© 2022 by George Tyerbyter
Chapter 1: Mind F**K and Noir
Essay Sex Story: Chapter 1: Mind F**K and Noir - “Capnolognia” (smoking fetishism) is delved into from a personal perspective. Sexual hi-jinks in the form of out-of-control fantasies abound as you are guided—from adolescence to adulthood—through the mind of a fastidious fetishist. (And, it's illustrated!) Read this through a “Thurber-esque” lens. Yes, think of “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.” Only, picture Walter as Alexander from “Portnoy’s Complaint.” Apologies to Thurber and Roth—I'm not comparing myself to either.
Caution: This Essay Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including mt/Fa Consensual Mind Control Heterosexual True Story Humor Sister Cousins Aunt Facial Masturbation Oral Sex Smoking Politics Illustrated
Ava Gardner – “The Bribe” (1949)
So, what-da-heck is up with me and this stupid smoking fetish thing of mine; huh?
Let me attempt an explanation...
Well, to begin with, I was brought up in the midst of what I consider to be a golden era; during the early 1960s. Many factors were at play which made it an indescribably steamy time, sexually speaking.
For the sake of background historical context, allow me to describe certain aspects of society within that epoch which had an indirect, and in some sense, a direct impact on the development of this unconventional obsession.
It must be stated that these were the waning days of American society’s ongoing sexual repression period while also being an era of paradigm shift. They were the days of racy innuendo, and the days of fear, thanks partly to the post-WWII red hysteria, and right-wing religious/political over-reach; all being promoted through a fearful, complicit media.
Also noteworthy within this mix of societal thought control and attitude adjustment would be the atmosphere in which Hollywood films were being produced. While scrutinizing this changing period in pop-cultural history, one would have to consider the ongoing repercussions perpetuated by the Motion Picture Production Code, famously known as the “Hays Code”; an enforced “standards code” which boiled down to being the movie industry’s fear-laced attempt at self-censorship. I’ve mentioned the latter point because what was transpiring in motion picture arts played a role in my mindset and within the evolution of this personal fetish.
Now certainly, early television—an industry that was also being pressured by the same political and religious activism—had its own “standards policing” movement, and it is equally worth noting. And, of course, the fearful motivation behind both the television and the film industry’s actions involved profits, or more succinctly, the potential loss thereof. But, let’s turn our attention away from the officiousness which was going on behind that 13-inch parlor screen and continue focusing on what was happening on and behind the theater’s wide silver screen.
The Hays Code was a set of so-called “guidelines.” They were named after Will H. Hays, who for a time was the head of the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America (MPPDA) and who was also a former chairman of the Republican National Committee (RNC). The code was officially adopted in 1930 but wasn’t put into full practice until 1934.
From that point on, it arguably held sway over every aspect of artistic expression within American films well into the 1960s. Although its stranglehold was most notably challenged by director Otto Preminger in 1953 with the release of the film “The Moon is Blue”—and then later through the release of his sexually explicit film (explicit for the time) “Anatomy of a Murder” (1959)—the code’s official authority lasted until 1968.
There will be more to come on this subject later. But, I’d like to get a little farther into the weeds concerning this influential time period.
“What does all of this have to do with my sexual appetites and my state of mind?” you might ask. Plenty! It’s all about “mind fucking,” baby! So, let me assure you of this trip’s necessity. There is a point to all of this explanation.
During my coming of age, undaunted, right-wing paranoiac voices resonating from those who were occupying higher seats of political, corporate, and religious power continued their fight for a cause that they saw as being righteous.
Does any of this sound familiar, modern folk?
They viewed their struggle as a holy war, as a battle; their enemies being those whom they saw as actively promoting the ’perversion of the American mind.’ Their influence—the ideology behind it, motivated mostly by business interests and the fear of profit loss—was strong, pervasive, and seemingly effective. Through legislation, and with the help of media saturation, the campaign to hold human thought in check was in full swing all through the 1950s and early 60s here in the States.
Thankfully, however, at the same instance, great sociopolitical changes were in the works. A pushback was underway; a push-back, which incidentally, most of these same greed-ridden business interests would later try to co-opt as the counter-cultural ethos progressed into the realm of pop culture.
If there is one lesson to be learned; that is to say, if there is one takeaway, one delineation which you can “take to the bank,” as it were, when it comes to understanding the attitudes of the vested interests in any day and age, it is this: Nothing is really ‘sacred’ to the oligarchical class. “Norms” and “mores” are malleable, even dispensable/disposable, so long as an opportunity to exploit virtually anything for profits exists.
As an example, the well-known dangers of smoking itself—information, which was rapidly mounting during those early days, documenting the health risks involved—were denied outright and then, actively suppressed by corporate business interests for the longest time. I could easily make many comparisons to similar ‘doings’ happening within our present-day landscape, but I’ll leave it to you to do your own research and for you to draw your own conclusions. (e.g. see the fossil fuel industry and climate change.)
But, getting back to the mid-20th-century sexual repression period; as I said, a sociopolitical push-back was gaining ground. These grass root changes—shifts happening if not partially in response to the massive over-reach perpetuated by paranoiacs through past decades—were transpiring despite all efforts to quash them.
Yes, a budding modern counterculture was coming into its own; one sparking somewhat of a Neo-Renaissance, an awakening, an enlightenment to arise. The Beat culture, with all of its beautiful free thought and fearless experimentation, was making its presence known, its influence eventually touching all parts of society.
Aside from shifts in political directions; revolutionary philosophies; modes of reflective consciousness and intellectualism; avant-garde movements within art, music, and fashion, were flowering and becoming more prevalent.
Through a great and inspired movement, civil rights were finally coming to the forefront, as well. The bigotry, xenophobia, and cultural-closed-mindedness of the past were drastically being challenged. The much-needed “shake-up” was underway bringing with it a promise that the societal playing field may finally be made more level for all citizenry.
Along with all of these changes came the sexual revolution and the strengthening of the ongoing women’s movement which had been fighting for equal rights for better than a half-century. So, blatant misogyny was becoming more and more unacceptable.
However, be that as it may—and as alluded to earlier—for most of us here in the US, the 1950s into the very early 1960s constituted a sexually stymied age; a time of psychological ‘mind fuck.’ And, because of censorship, propaganda, and the neuroses both of those things generated, it was a period of time made steamier for all of us by the mere implication of sex. Innuendo became king, igniting and suggesting!
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