I had a dream recently and this is a result of it. Clearly, all of this is fantasy as there is no way that it could work in real life. Just my perfect, idealized, way I wish I could have met Jack.

I believe there comes a time, in every girl or woman’s life, when they have to make a decision. About who they are, where they want to go, and who they want to be with. The ages vary, the choices even more so, but we all eventually realize that “that person” is the one we want. The one that is “home”. Jack was that for me. The one place I felt safe, loved and cared for. My story wasn’t anything special. A dad who didn’t care, a mom who made my life hell by demanding perfection and excellence. Anything less than first and I wasn’t good enough. Years of chasing their approval had left me damaged and anxious, a bundle of nerves that just wanted validation.

And eventually, I decided to find that validation in other ways. Online, it was so easy. So many guys, especially older men, just handed it out. All I had to do was chat, show some skin, and part my legs and they loved me. Or I was trash to them from the start but still, no matter what I did, they wanted me. They showered me with their attention, affection, and abuse. I drowned in it. It was like I had lived in a cloud my entire life and suddenly the sun was out and I was seeing bright colors for the first time. They helped me explore my developing body, my budding breasts, my tight pussy, and my little ass. They had me put my fingers in every part of my body. I gagged on them, sucked them like a cock, pumped them in my pussy as they made me call it a cunt, and I even forced one up my ass. I felt something I rarely had before unless I topped my class and got praised by my mom.

I felt alive.

Part of me wanted to slow things down. It was addictive and I knew I was a hopeless addict. I couldn’t stop myself and during class, I thought about the men online more than I thought about my homework. I was antsy until the moment I could get online, get some release, and sleep peacefully with sticky fingers. There were the nice men, who made me feel so special. There were the mean ones, who made me cum the hardest as I cried. Men in-between, all flavors and colors, all wanting one thing. Me. And because they wanted me, I wanted them. I became more and more desperate to please them. I showed them my face and my holes. I slapped my body and face for them, shoved objects in me even when it hurt. And none of it was enough. It was good, but not enough. I wanted them for real. I knew I wasn’t ready for it, that I should pace it out. But I didn’t care. So, as spring break neared, I started posting online on Craigslist. I left vaguely worded posts from a needy young slut who wanted attention. I didn’t tell them I was fourteen, but I strongly hinted that I wasn’t legal. And then, the requests came pouring in.

It took a while to wade through them, to sort past the scary ones or the ones that were looking for legal girls. I couldn’t risk exposing myself and getting in trouble. And there, among the Craiglist messages was one from Jack. I responded back to the few I thought were safe, including his, but he had the right combination of tone, location, and overall demeanor that I felt I was looking for. I was going insane, it was reckless, but I just didn’t care anymore. I was miserable and just wanted to be happy. If that meant risking disappearing into someone’s basement or a shallow grave in the woods, I didn’t care anymore. I was ready to quit if I couldn’t get more. Quit in every way that mattered, the only way it mattered.

And that was how, at fourteen, I met the love of my life, my Master. He was closer to 3 times my age than twice, massive compared to my skinny little frame. The first time we met, it was almost all conversation, along with a slow and sensual exploration of our bodies. I had expected him to throw me down and fuck me. I knew that even if I changed my mind, I couldn’t stop him. I had resigned myself to the possibility of rape and part of me wanted it, even if it got violent. But none of that happened. I got in the car with him and we chatted as we drove to his place, some thirty minutes away. I nervously reached over to unzip him but he stopped me and told me that I didn’t have to. Instead, he put his hand on my thigh and massaged it, never rising too far up, as he questioned me about my experiences, both online and off. I told him about my parents and school, as I watched a man as old as my father touch me.

When we pulled into his garage, I figured that this was it. Now he’d take and ravish me. But he told me to wait, got out, opened my door, and brought me into his home. He had me sit on the couch and for the first 15 minutes or so, we just continued the chat from the car. What I wanted, what I had done, and what I fantasized about. It was so unlike anything I had prepared myself for and I almost wanted to throw up I was so anxious. He noticed that and asked me about it and I told him about my anxiety issues. He then told me to strip. It had come out of nowhere so I paused for a second. During that brief pause, he slapped me. It wasn’t hard, but I jerked, looking up at him.

“I said strip,” was all he said. I didn’t notice it but my anxiety had already dropped though my stomach was twisting like crazy. I was now scared and excited as I stripped for him. He took each article of clothing from me and tossed it away until I was completely nude. He then inspected me, cupping my flat chest, rubbing his hand along my belly, massaging my ass, and parting it. He stood behind me as I whimpered, almost crying, as I felt his finger probe against my asshole, then push in very, very slowly. I grunted as he held me until I could feel his entire finger pressed into my ass.

“How does that make you feel,” he asked me.

“D ... dirty,” I replied, sobbing a bit.

“Anxious?” he asked. And that’s when I noticed it. I was scared. My stomach wanted to twist out of my body. But I wasn’t anxious.

“No...,” I said meekly. He slapped me again, very lightly.

“No Sir,” he said and I nodded, repeating it back to him. He then, finger still in my ass, walked me to the bedroom. Once there, he pulled his finger out, turned me around, and slapped me again. He then kissed me and I just melted into it. And then, I started bawling like a baby. I couldn’t stop and he just stripped naked, picked me up, put me in the bed, and just held me. I cried against his chest for probably fifteen minutes straight and when I tried to apologize I got another slap. Anytime I tried to talk I got a slap. Never hard, just to make a point more than anything else. So I just held tight and cried until it was out of my system. Once I had stopped making a fool out of myself, he kissed my tears and then my lips. I was told to relax and I did as best I could, his strong frame over me, as he kissed my nipples, sliding down between my legs. His beard tickled my thighs but his tongue, his warm tongue, set me on fire. I’d never been eaten out before and he knew what he was doing. No matter how I wiggled or bucked or moaned, he held me tight as my body felt things it never had before. When I came, my entire body shuddered. I’d only time I’d cum like that was from the men who made me feel bad. I didn’t feel bad, yet I cried again. He held me until I stopped and then just had me explore his body. Wet tears streaked my face as I did, running my hands over his chest, back, abs, and legs. His cock was huge in my hands and while he let me stroke him, as soon as I lowered my head he slapped me again.

“Not yet, just explore,” he said. And we did. For about another hour, that’s all we did. Touching and kissing, so much kissing. He even ground against me and I told him it was ok. But he told me no. When my alarm buzzed, letting me know it was time to head back, I cried again. He slapped me, told me to behave, and get dressed. I did, and as he walked me to his car, he asked me if I was happy. I told him the truth, that I’d never felt happier than in bed with him, despite my roller coaster of emotions. He kissed me deeply and then had me get in the car. On the drive back he told me to look for emails, get a burner phone, and make sure my computer was clean. I did, and as soon as I got home, I rushed to my bedroom to masturbate. I closed my eyes, imagined him on top of me, parted my folds, and came faster than I ever had before. With wet fingers, I rolled over and napped and dreamt only of him.

The following week was unbearable. I got the burner phone, cleaned my PC, and chatted with him every night. He sent me stories to read and videos to watch, some of them were very tame but erotic. That was something most porn videos didn’t have, eroticism. Always slutty but rarely sexy. Worst of all was an order. No more cumming. At all. He’d have me rub, make me show him that I was doing it. But I wasn’t allowed to cum. He said if I lied to him about it, he wouldn’t let me come back. So I obeyed. I struggled to focus in classes and one night I even cried myself to sleep. It had become such an integral part and release in my life and he’d excised it from me. By the end of the week, I struggled to pay attention, and touching myself helped but only so much since I didn’t want to cum. He’d talked all week about rules, aftercare, safe-words, and made me memorize so many terms. I didn’t care about any of that, I just wanted him. And then, on Saturday, he pulled up, behind the Walmart where we’d met before.

I started to get in the car when he told me to stop. He asked if I had dressed as ordered, and I told him I had. He had wanted me in a halter top, a short loose skirt, a training bra, and panties. I showed him everything, lifting up my top and skirt as I glanced around to make sure no one was watching. Then he told me to take off my panties and give them to him. I slid them down my legs and handed them to him and only then did he let me in.

“Unless you’re on your period, you are to never wear panties again,” he told me and I nodded meekly. Then he grabbed my hair and pulled me down. I heard “Suck” and I unzipped his pants and slowly took his cock in my mouth. As my head bobbed up and down, I felt his hand grip my hair.

“Right now, you’re not Sammie. Sammie is a good hardworking girl. You’re just a fucking cunt. Today, you’re going to be nothing but a cunt. You’re gonna cry and you’re gonna be used like the cunt you are. Then, we’ll have a shower, clean you up, and Sammie, the good girl, is going to go home. Understand?” he asked. I didn’t really, not fully, but I nodded as he jerked my head around. He completely controlled the pace as I just let him use my mouth. It was almost relaxing despite the occasional gag as he pushed down. I was barely there as a person. Just my mouth, which wasn’t even a mouth to him. It was just a hole for him to pump into. He fingered me on and off a bit, not much. I could tell he was more exploring than doing anything to help me get wet or cum. And he didn’t cum. Any time he got close he would slow down, just telling me to keep it in my mouth. By the time we got back to his house, my nose was running and snot and drool were smeared all over my lips and chin.

As we pulled into the garage, he pulled my head up and kissed me. As I smiled, he slapped me, then told me to get out of the car. I did, standing up and wiping my face.

“Don’t touch your mess, cunt,” he told me. I froze, nodded, then walked over to him with the drool and snot still dripping off my face. I felt his hand pull up my skirt and, once again, a finger was slowly worked into my ass. I grunted but didn’t move as he firmly pushed his middle finger all the way in. He then walked me up the steps like that, having to hunch over a bit, with me almost on my tiptoes as he led me all the way to his bedroom. I figured there were not going to be any conversations today, but I was wrong. He took me in front of the mirror and told me to look into it.

“See that cunt in the mirror? She is worthless. Just a piece of shit and a trashy set of holes. She has value in exactly one way. Sammie can offer so many things, but her? That cunt? That Bad sammie? She is only good for fucking. For using up. For sex. No one wants her or values her for anything else. But they do value her. You want to be valued, don’t you cunt?” I nodded yes, uncomfortable as I was. I did want his approval, their approval. Over the last few months, I had become an addict and any rejection was far worse than anything they could do to me physically. He shoved his finger deep in my ass, holding my flat chest with his other hand as he lifted me until I was on my toes.

“You know why my finger is in your ass? No one can feel in control or dignified with a finger in their ass. Or a cock in it. It hurts, it’s dirty, and right now you feel broken and shamed don’t you?” I nodded yes, biting my lip, trying not to cry as he continued. “Good. I want you to remember this feeling and remember it isn’t you. It’s that cunt in the mirror. That’s who is going to get used today. That’s who is going to make me happy today. She will do anything to make me happy, to be praised. And you’ll get that praise too, for bringing her here.”

As he finished, he turned me to face him and slapped me again, then kissed me. As the kiss broke, trailing a bit of my drool, he slapped me again. None of the slaps were that hard, but they were impossible to ignore. He then took me to his bathroom and had me kneel. I felt so tiny next to him. I was less than half his weight and a foot shorter than him. He could do anything to me and I knew I couldn’t stop it. And I didn’t want to stop it. I hadn’t cum in a week, I hadn’t talked to anyone online but him. I needed his touch and his approval more than I needed anything else. It was crazy, but at that moment, I would have jumped off a cliff if he told me.

“Touch yourself, but do not fucking cum. If you get close, tell me, understand?” Jack said. I nodded, as I slid my hand down under my skirt. I watched him as I parted my lips. I was already soaked and just the slightest touch made me tremble. He grabbed my head and I opened my mouth as he started gagfucking me. I had gagged and choked on his cock before, but this time, he was keeping it as deep as he could, pushing it in my throat. It was hard to breathe and I was doing everything I could to not get sick as I humped on my hand. I was a mess, crying and shaking, but I was so fucking wet. Then I felt that tingle run up my spine and looked up at Jack as I pulled my hands away, my body already trying to betray me. He smiled at me as he started to pull out of my mouth.

“Cum, you cunt!” he said. I reached down to start rubbing but was shocked when he grabbed my face and told me to keep rubbing, as 3 fingers were pushed into my mouth. I started to push away his hands but he slapped me with his other hand and yelled at me to rub my fucking cunt. I did, and since I was already on the edge, I started to go over it at the same time his fingers made me retch. No, not retch, but puke hard as he shoved me over the toilet. I was sobbing, puking, and cumming all at once as almost every bit of my body lost control. I pissed myself, clinging to the toilet, coughing up in it, as I shook. I slumped, exhausted, and just bawled like a baby. I had never experienced anything like that before. Guity orgasms? Sure. Powerful ones? Yes. But to cum as I puked and peed myself, I felt lower than shit. That’s when I felt it. I just cried, still weak, bile dripping from my lips, as he peed on me. I didn’t even try to move. I didn’t have the strength or the will. I felt disgusting as heat ran down my body. When he pulled me off the toilet and spread me on the piss-soaked tile, I just laid there. He parted my legs, only the second person and the first man to be there.

“This is going to hurt some,” he told me as he opened the sink cabinet, got some KY, and rubbed it all over my pussy. No, it was a fucking cunt. That’s all I was, I thought to myself, as I cried softly and nodded my head. Lube applied, he folded me in half, making me even smaller under him, just a bent twig, as he pushed into me. I cried as he pressed in deeper, splitting my small body open, his weight crushing me. I gasped and grunted as he worked back and forth, inching more and more in until I felt him painfully bottom out inside me. Almost balls deep in my hole, he held my legs and just fucked me, almost using me to masturbate his cock, as I cried and shuddered. It hurt as his cock speared in and out of me, and even with lube, I started to bleed a bit. Apparently, my tightness was something he enjoyed as he gripped my chin, spat in my face, and spoke.

“Are you on birth control?” he asked and before I could even respond, I felt him shudder. I gasped as he convulsed, felt heat spasming in me, and between the fear and pain, something erupted in me and I had a minor orgasm as well. He pulled out of me, letting my legs drop, and stared at my cunt, leaking white. I noticed the red on his cock as he pulled my head up and I sucked him clean, tasting copper, almost numb. When I was done, I looked at him.

“I’m not on the pill,” I whispered and he smiled.

“I hoped you weren’t”, he said as he picked me up easily. Then he sat me in the shower, turned on the water, and as it rained down on me, he cleaned up the mess on the floor. When he was done, he stepped in the shower, my clothes soaked, stripped the wet clothes off me, and left the bathroom. I was nude and wet, and I rubbed my labia and whimpered at the internal pain I felt. Eventually, he returned, stood me up, and began to wash me. He took exquisite care, kissing me softly as he washed my body tenderly. He pulled me up against his chest, kissed me, then frenched me deeply against the glass as his tongue explored every bit of my mouth. Despite the pain, it felt so nice, and I felt so wanted. Then he lowered me and slowly washed my hair, his cock stiff and poking into my back. As he washed me, my small frame, and my hair, he spoke to me.

“Thank you for your gift, baby girl. I’m so proud of you, what you did, how well you took it. Did it feel good to get that release?” he asked and I started to cry and nodded. He rinsed me off, toweled me dry, and carried me to bed. There, he parted my legs and licked me gently, kissed my ass, licked my sphincter, and parted my folds, eating me out. Despite how tired and hurt I was, I moaned, bucked, and came from his gentle touch. Afterward, he held me tightly, kissing me, as we talked. Eventually, I heard a dryer buzz and he got up and brought me my clothes and dressed me. He kept the panties, however, as he drove me back, leaving me where he had picked me up. I went home, lay in bed, playing with my puffy pussy, no, my puffy cunt, and masturbated to thoughts of him.

The next couple of weeks were much the same. I’d go over to Jack’s and he would take me to that mirror. He started dressing me up like trailer trash and even had me smoke a bit. He would tear me down and I would not only bawl from the abuse but all the stress of the past week would pour out as well until I was limp and exhausted and leaking his love. And I did think of it as love because I was rapidly falling in love with him. After he would use me until I was limp, he’d carry me to the tub or shower, clean me, and hold me. For the first time in my life, I felt unconditionally loved. My thoughts throughout the week were only of him and my classwork began to suffer. I didn’t care though. Not about my parents or school. I just wanted the week to be over so I could see him again. We texted on the burner phone every night. When my parents were out at night I called him. I was finally happy.

On my fifth visit to his house, it was a bit different. We had been establishing a routine. I’d usually suck him in some manner on the way to his home or he’d paw and finger me. Once we got there, I would dress in the clothes he put out for me. Skanky cheap clothes that smelled of cigarette smoke. It made me happy to be what he wanted and I was free from being myself. I dressed up this time in the crop top that was set out. I wished my boobs were bigger, as they would have looked so sexy barely covered by it. Flat as I was, I was only exposed if I raised my arms. My belly was bare and the short leather skirt was tiny even for my body. I put on the heels but I could barely walk in them. I then lit the cigarette he’d left for me and strode out, trying to look more mature and sexier than I was. And I froze.

“Sammie, I wanted you to meet my best friend Tony. I’ve talked about him before. He just stopped by,” he said. I blushed so hard. Here I was, fourteen, dressed like trailer trash, smoking, with this guy just ogling me. I didn’t know what to say so I got meek and silent. Jack got us out some beers and I nursed mine as they briefly talked for a bit. Jack then stood up suddenly and said he forgot something, that he’d have to run out for just 15 minutes, and apologized. He was out of the door and I was left with Tony. I stubbed out the cigarette and finished the beer and told him I had to use the bathroom. It was true, but I was nervous as well. I didn’t know exactly what was going on, but I wanted to get away for the moment.

I sat down on the toilet and peed as I chewed my lip. I waited for a bit, then decided I should get up, wiping myself and flushing the toilet. I checked my makeup and opened the door and Tony was there, staring at me.

“Umm, sorry I took so long. If you...” I started to say when he walked in and shoved me against the sink. He pressed me hard against it, grabbing my hair and pulling my head back as he spoke to me.

“Relax. You’re a cunt right?” he asked me. I nodded, scared and crying a bit. “Then just fucking take it,” he told me, shoving my head forward. He pulled up the near-useless microskirt. Then I heard a wet squirting sound and felt a cold gel smeared against my ass and a finger pressed inside my ass. “Relax cunt,” he told me again as a tube of lube was tossed on the counter. Then I felt his slimy, gel-covered hand grab my neck and hair as I was made to look in the mirror. I cried more as I felt his cock press against my tiny asshole, slowly pushing in. It hurt so bad and I tried to push back but he jerked my head around and smashed me against the sink even harder. Then he thrust and I screamed and just clung to the counter. He pumped back and forth and it felt like my guts were being pulled out and shoved back in. I sobbed uncontrollably as he used my ass, fucking it. He made several fast but short thrusts and I felt him spasm and I knew he had come in my ass. Then he pulled out, cleaned himself on a towel and tossed it on the floor, and left. I cried, barely able to stand before moving slowly and painfully to the toilet and sitting down again. I heard the plop of cum leaking out as I stared numbly at the shit-covered towel. I smelled the earthy stink and sat there until I heard Jack come back in. I wiped myself, noticing blood on the toilet paper, and walked slowly back into the room. Before I could sit down, Jack led me back to the bathroom. I meekly looked at him and whimpered.

“He fucked me,” was all I could say, and that at just a whisper. I was in shock, my ass hurt, and I felt so weak and sapped. He gripped my hair in much the same way as Tony had and made me look at myself.

“Remember what I told you about your ass. You can never feel powerful or dignified or in control when a cock or finger is in it. You can fuck someone with your cunt, but you can only BE fucked in your ass. It’s just a different type of cunt really, don’t you think?” he asked. He slapped me and made me look at myself in the mirror.