Chapter 5

“Mick, I was devoted to James. He was my one love. Now that he is gone, it’s going to take some time for me to grow into that relationship with you.”

That stunned me.

“Um, Candice, would you excuse me for a bit. I need to be off on my own and do some uninterrupted thinking.”

“I won’t interrupt you, Mick. I promise.”

“Candice, you don’t get it. YOU are the interruption. All of this was just dropped on me like a bomb. I have no idea what to think or how to think about my situation. I need some alone and quiet time to sort things out.”

“OK. I’ll go to my room.”

“NO! Don’t do that. I’d feel bad that you had to go off by yourself and sit alone in that attic room. Why don’t you just go to the library and read for a bit?”

“OK,” she said sounding wholly rejected.

“Candice?”

“Yes.”

“No matter what happens you will stay here. This is your home more than it is mine. I’d never even think of sending you away, even if I could.”

She nodded and left me standing in the kitchen. I looked around and remembered the sound and smells of meals being prepared. My great grandfather was hell on wheels in the kitchen. His beef stew was epic and yet his PB&J sandwiches made me feel like I really belonged in the house. And I still had strong memories of his tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches with a big mug of hot Doctor Pepper with a cinnamon stick in it on those icy cold Wisconsin nights.

I began to walk through the huge old house. The dining room, the entry foyer, the wide spiral staircase that led to the second floor. I didn’t go to the library, thinking she would be there. The den had the huge TV. It covered a big portion of the wall next to the huge fireplace. As I stood there it occurred to me that when I was in this room I always seemed to see and feel the warmth of the fireplace and not notice the TV. I walked over to the chair I usually sat in and once seated, I pulled my legs up under me.

Then, I cried.

The feelings of being left alone by my great grandfather and my mother and grandmother. I wrapped my arms around me and wished that there was a fire going. I closed my eyes and shed more tears until I felt warmth envelop me.

When I opened my eyes, there was a fire in the fireplace and a thick, shawl laid across my legs and came up across my chest. I looked around and there was Candice.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you, but your sadness was so powerful. I had to do something.”

The expression on her face was one of both care and trepidation. She wanted so much to care for me but didn’t want to intrude at my request. I straightened out my legs and set my feet on the floor. Holding out my arms to her produced a quick almost leap from where she was, onto my lap. I lifted the shawl and wrapped it around the both of us. I held her and she returned the embrace.

I have no idea how long we sat there. I believe I fell asleep. I was warm and I felt secure. There was a voice in my head that was so quiet and so far away that I couldn’t make it out.

Then ... there was the kiss.

I slowly opened my eyes. Candice was cuddled up to me, looking at me. Her huge brown eyes open wide, and yet soft in their expression, looked up at me.