Chapter 9

Northern Border

Ky was anxious as they neared the border. Even though the agreement between the Caledonii and the Romans was all but certain - since Talogren had agreed to most of the provisions before Ky had returned south - this was still a linchpin in Ky’s long-term plans. If they fell through so would most of his plans for Rome’s survival.

He was enough on edge that he visibly jumped when the comm in his head chimed, indicating Lucilla was trying to get a hold of him.

He waved off Sellic, who looked at him with some concern and sub-vocalized, “Is everything alright?”

Previously, Lucilla had only initiated contact from her side when things went very wrong. In his current state of mind, Ky’s first thought was that she’d ended up in trouble again. With the reports she’d been giving him of murders of prominent figures, it didn’t take much to spark his imagination in the worst ways.

“Nothing’s wrong. Sophus told me you were worried about this afternoon, and asked if I would talk with you for a bit. He has this idea that I could somehow soothe you.”

“He did, did he? And how exactly did you know I was worried, Sophus?” Ky asked, knowing the AI was listening, since it was required to make long-distance communication possible.

“Indicators of your stress level have been elevating steadily as we approach the border, and my understanding of human interaction like that required for the signing of your agreement with the Caledonii leader is that it is best done while calm and focused. I have noticed a significant balancing effect speaking with Lucilla has on you and determined that speaking with her would help regulate your worry.”

Ky continued to be impressed with the independent reasoning Sophus had been showing as its consciousness grew. While everything it had said was logical and based on data inputs, it required several leaps of understanding that wouldn’t normally be present in computer intelligence. Ky was also glad it’d had the idea, since he did feel better after speaking with Lucilla, and could use that this morning.

“Well,” Lucilla said, taking the lead of the conversation like she often did. “I’m glad he did, because I had a very interesting night that I wanted to share with you, but I hadn’t wanted to interrupt you this morning, in case you were in preparations for your meeting with Talogren.”

“Really? What happened?”

“I was touring the damaged sections of town and about to go talk to the guard commander when I was intercepted by some Picts...” she started to say.

“Caledonii,” he said, interrupting her.

“What?”

“It’s important that you start thinking about them in the terms they think of themselves, and not the ones given to them by your ancestors. They generally see the name Pict as an insult, like you would if they called you by the nickname they’ve given your people. You need to get used to doing it in private conversations and even when you’re just thinking about them. It will keep you from accidentally calling them the wrong thing and, if others hear you address them correctly, they’ll start doing the same.”

“Oh, I hadn’t thought about that. Wait, what do they call us?”

“City Shitters.”

“What?”

“They think you hide behind your walls, defecating yourselves as you tremble in fear.”

“They’ve lost every battle we’ve fought against them.”

“And yet they still control the north of the country. Don’t think too much about it. It’s meant to be an insult. Hopefully, it helps you see how they feel when you call them Picts.”

“I see.”

“So, you ran into a group of Caledonii?” he prompted her.

“Yes. Apparently, they were still impressed by the wrestling match I participated in and demanded I go have a drink with them. I thought about what you said about needing to improve relations, so I put off my meeting with Pullo and went with them.”

“I’m sure Piscius did not approve of that,” Ky said, referring to her current guard commander.

“No, he did not. It actually wasn’t bad. They told tales of their great victories and I told them about the escape from Glevum and the forest ambush. They were duly impressed. Something strange did happen, however.”

“What?”

“They continued ordering wine, insulting it for being weak and a woman’s drink, and got blindingly drunk, several of them passing out on the floor, much to the dismay of our fellow patrons.”

“That seems in line with much of Caledonii culture.”

“Yes. That wasn’t the weird part. The weird thing was that they were actively trying to get me drunk with them, pressuring me to drink as fast as they were and ordering more drinks for me every time they ordered for themselves. By the end of the night, I barely felt anything while they were all unable to walk out of the inn unassisted. I have never been much of a drinker and usually cut my wine heavily, but this time I might as well have been drinking water as anything else.”

“I can explain that,” Sophus said in what was becoming a very familiar refrain as it continued to experiment with them, usually without telling them it was.

“Why am I not surprised?” Ky said, deadpan.

“Don’t listen to him, Sophus,” Lucilla said. “Please tell us.”

“It is a byproduct of the nanobots I released into your system. Part of their programming is to increase the efficiency of most of your biological processes, which includes the processing and elimination of toxins. This is partially to keep your organs functioning well beyond when normal human systems begin breaking down, but also because Rome’s history has an alarming number of poisonings, usually as a solution to a difficult political opposition. The nanobots remove toxins and poisons from your system, breaking them down into harmless compounds if possible, and enveloping them in an impenetrable shell if not, keeping your system from absorbing anything damaging. This includes alcohol, which has numerous damaging effects on a wide array of organs.”

“You’re saying I can never get drunk?”

“Unknown. There are limits to the nanobots in your system, including their inability to self-replicate, due to their altered programming. It is feasible to consume enough that you overwhelm their ability to process the substance, although that amount would be alarmingly high and present other issues, such as blood-sugar imbalances that your already occupied nanobots would not be able to immediately address. It would not be life-threatening unless you consumed that volume every day, which seems improbable.”

“Not that I’m planning on doing that, but how much are we talking about?”

“Roughly twenty-two cubic pes, in your local scale of measurements, if consumed in a several hour period.”

Lucilla had never amazed her tutors with her talent with numbers and figures, but even she was able to work out just how much wine that would be, and it was a lot. The average amphora quadrantal, the large two-handled jars used to transport and sell wine and other liquids, was roughly the volume of one cubic pes. Twenty-two of those was probably more than most inns used in an entire day, let alone one person drink.

She’d probably drown in the wine before she finished drinking it.

“I can safely say I do not plan on drinking that much in a year, let alone in a few hours.”

“I should hope not,” Ky said. “So, what’s happening with these murders? The guardsman was worrying, but going after a senator brings this to a whole new level. We might have survived Silo’s rebellion, but if we lose enough of our supporters, things could become very difficult for us.”

“Unfortunately, there isn’t any good news on that front. So far, Ramirus hasn’t been able to find anything solid on them. He doesn’t think it’s enough to make any large-scale attacks, but that’s as far as he’s willing to commit to answers. He believes the guard commander is reliable, but I’m still not convinced. Both attacks have had some connection to at least one, and probably several, people in the guard. Getting the executioner’s name could have been one person, but it would have taken several to make sure no patrols were in the area when Norbanus was murdered.”

“Not necessarily, but I think it’s best to assume there’s more than one, just to be safe. I’ll get the agreement signed and return as quickly as I can.”

“While I would love for you to come home, don’t rush your dealings with the Caledonii. You’ve made it clear how important this alliance is, so your first concern should be that. We’ll find these men.”

They spoke for a few more minutes, mostly spent with Lucilla relating the funnier incidents from the night before. Ky was almost sad when they saw the first scout from the border guard appear ahead of them, since it meant he had to focus on the job at hand. The brief conversation did make him feel more relaxed, but it had the side effect of making Ky want to return to Devnum as soon as he could. If he did have a limited amount of time left, he wanted to spend it with Lucilla, not arguing about the fates of empires.

Talogren had returned to his village when Ky had gone south, but Llassar had loaned him a Caledonii messenger to let the chieftain know he was coming. He’d received a reply on the trip north that they’d meet him on the Caledonii side of the border roughly in the same place where they’d left him.

Ky had imagined it would be a few tents of Talogren and his guards, as opposed to the sea of tents and men that had been camped in the area previously, since Ky had taken those five thousand men south with him.

Which is why he was surprised, after dropping off the praetorians to begin the process of the fourth legion handing over patrol duties, to ride out of the tree line into the frozen valley and once again find thousands of men camped out, waiting.

Ky was riding into the Caledonii camp with only two of his lictore, not wanting to show disrespect to their new allies by bringing a bunch of guards with him. A small group of riders came out to greet them as they neared the encampment and led them to a large, centrally located tent, where Talogren was standing in front, waiting on them.

“It appears you and I had more in common than I originally thought,” the chieftain said as Ky rode up and slid off his horse.

“I don’t follow,” Ky said.

“One of the things the Romans always proclaimed as proof of how much more civilized they are than us is to point to the fractured nature of our politics. Even as I’ve struggled to bring my people together into a single government, you apparently have had to struggle in the same way. I was glad to hear you were victorious in the conflict. Llassar’s messages to me suggest you single-handedly put down the rebelling legions.”

“He must have been exaggerating. I had my role to play, but the loyal legions, praetorians, and town guardsman did more to win the day than anything I personally did.”

“Of course,” Talogren said, much as one would to a modest child. “Of course.”

“Are you ready to sign this agreement?” Ky asked.

“Yes,” Talogren said, standing aside and waving Ky into his tent. “Before we do, I have one more stipulation that I would like to see met before we sign this agreement.”

Ky paused, turning to face the giant of a man.

“I thought we had everything agreed to before I went south. While both the Emperor and I are firm believers in this alliance, the fact that we had two legions rise up in open rebellion over it should tell you how difficult it was to make this happen at all.”

“It does and I can appreciate the difficulties you’re having and I still plan to sign your agreement just as we discussed. My stipulation doesn’t require anything of Rome itself, just you.”

“Me?”

“Yes. We leave in the morning to begin putting down the first of the villagers who have refused to join the league, finally bringing all of the northlands under one law. I want you with us when we put down these holdouts. If you agree, then I will sign your alliance agreement.”

“Your last messenger already mentioned the holdout villages and I’d agreed to stay here until you managed to pacify your lands, or at least as long as I could until I had to return to Rome in the spring.”

“You mistake my meaning. I don’t just want you with us, I want you to lead our warriors into battle.”

“Why?” Ky asked.

He wasn’t worried about himself, since nothing in this time period could get through his kinetic shielding. He was more confused than anything else, since Caledonii were almost pathologically unwilling to admit that someone else might be stronger or a better warrior than they were. The Caledonii went into battle with their strongest warrior in the vanguard, leading them to victory. To bring an outsider into that position would be an insult to every warrior who followed behind him.

“Word spread about the way you cut through anyone who stood before you. How you moved like death itself and no blade could touch you. There are those who say you are the guide of the underworld, sent to refill death’s horde. With you at their head, they believe there is nothing that can stand in their path.”

“It is important that your people know I am not claiming to be that. While I can do some things no one else here can do, that does not make me a god, or the servant of a god. I only claim to be a man and I am not here to take anyone to their deaths, unless they stand in between me and my goal.”

“Telling them that would only prove to them that it’s true.”

“The Emperor said something very similar to me not long ago,” Ky said, quietly exasperated.

“He is a clever man, this new Emperor of ours. Still, my people aren’t as superstitious as the Romans. They don’t care if you were sent here to shovel horse crap. You proved to them that you are as much of a warrior as any Caledonian man, which is quite the compliment. They want you to lead them because they believe you will guarantee their victory. I want you to lead them because it will make our campaign easier. Those rebel villages who have heard the tale have been discounting them as league propaganda. I want to prove to them it isn’t and I want the cowards that flee to run to the next rebel village and tell them of the unstoppable warrior that will soon be coming for them. It won’t convince all of the holdouts, but it will work on some of them, who will join us for fear of what will happen if they don’t.”