Chapter 42

The power lines are going underground ... I siced my Civil Attorney, Attila (the Hun) Iskander on the Power Board ... I still have to move. My home and airplane are too heavy for the cave to support.

Funny ... the area supported the pad, deck, shipping containers and aircraft for almost 22 years. No problem.

NOW the city engineers are complaining.

WAIT!! I’m in the county ... the city has had since 1950 to annex us ... and never bothered.

Now I’m REALLY pissed.

I’m going to sic The Hun on ‘em.

Ya see ... I don’t want to have my domicile right on 969.

(1) The road is too noisy.

(2) The church building makes a good ‘club house’ for the ultralite pilots.

(3) I don’t want to move.

Three is the real reason.

(4) The slope from the road is too shallow ... I won’t have the hill to block the passersby views.

(5) I’ll have to wear a swimsuit in the hottub. Marsha will have to wear a suit in the hottub. Daddy won’t get laid so often. Daddy is a real bear when his plumbing isn’t flushed. No doubt about it ... I don’t wanna move.

(6) The sauna is useless without the river to jump in.

Refer to number 3.

The next place east is for sale ... but it includes the Hornsby Cemetary.

Rogers Hornsby played two thousand two hundred fifty nine Major League Baseball games starting in 1915 ... I wonder if his ghost is friendly?

The reason for the sale?

The husband ... not Rogers ... had died several years ago.

She ... the widow ... said, “The helicopter was bad enough ... all those little whiney airplanes drive my cats crazy. My kids don’t want the place ... it’s too country. I’ve never been anywhere ... just Texas.”

She me offered a bargain.

“Half what the developers are offering. I like you. I don’t like them.”

“I don’t want it ... I like where I am,” I said.

“You might like it if you knew it’s move or lose it.”

“Eminent domain?” I said, “That’s for the public good.”

“I own this bridge in San Francisco...”

“Like that, is it?”

“Yup ... I don’t think you understand ... my land is west from 973 to Blue Bluff, south from 969 to the Dirt and Loam place and west to the Colorado. All of it ... I sold east to the pits years ago.”

“Let me look it up on Google.”

“Holy Shit. Fifty dollars an acre?”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”