Forward

The following is a compilation of testimonials for the benefit of the court, illuminating the events of the February 11 standoff at the Lane-Dunphy Museum.

Subject: Mary Jensen, high school teacher

Interviewer: Special Agent Liz Kostanski, FBI

MJ: It was traumatizing, of course. Men with guns rushing in, shouting at us. They took away our phones and made us sit in a corner of the auditorium. One of them was barking orders into a walkie-talkie, but the one guarding us was leering at the girls in a despicable way.

The poor new girl seemed to take it worst - the Scottish one. She seemed to just shut down - catatonic. She was sitting on the floor rocking back and forth, with a glazed look in her eyes and her mouth hanging open. Every once in a while her body would lurch.

It was obvious after a while that something had gone wrong with the robbers’ plan. The boss kept saying into his radio, “Charming! What’s your status? Charming, respond!”

The man they sent to check up on Charming radioed back. “Boss, I’m here in the loading bay. The truck’s here, but no sign of Charming. I can’t find the keys.” Then, it sounded like guns going off, and the man on the radio shouted, “Boss! There’s someone in here with us! This guy is...” And then nothing.

The other men started to get nervous but the boss told them it was all under control. That’s when they separated us - the adults from the children. They chained us adults to the museum’s front door to make things harder for the police.

Subject: David Goldbach, high school student

Interviewer: Special Agent Liz Kostanski, FBI

DG: Right after they took the adults away, the new girl started shaking. The guy who was guarding us - the one with all the facial hair - nudged me with his boot to move over next to her. He told me, “Make sure she doesn’t swallow her tongue or some shit.”

LK: By “new girl”, you’re referring to Anna Fraser?

DG: Yes ma’am. So then she grabbed onto my arm - leaned into me and held me tight. She was panting, and it was all very confusing. I mean, it felt sorta good that she was counting on me to protect her, even though I was as helpless as she was. She was so pretty, and her hair smelled nice.

Then another one of the men came up, and he was like, “What’s that noise”? I guess I could hear a hum, but I hadn’t thought anything of it. And he got really mad when we didn’t answer, and yelled and pointed his gun in our faces. And the new girl - um, Anna - grabbed me even harder and shook even more. But then the bad guy - this was the bald one - made her stand up and he frisked her. It didn’t make any sense to me: her jeans were tight; there was obviously nothing in her pockets. Her sweater was sort of baggy, but it’s not like we had planned for any of this.

So she was standing up and he was running his hands all over her while the bearded guy pointed his gun at us. She was biting her lip and clenching her fists. Her face was almost as red as her hair. And then he grabbed her pussy, and left his hand there for a second. Then he yelled at her to take off her pants.

She pulled down her jeans. She was wearing sexy-as-fuck panties. He pulled those down and there was like a little pouch in the crotch of her panties, and inside there was a piece of vibrating plastic. It actually slipped out of his fingers and fell when he examined it - it looked kind of wet.

He barked, “How do you control this?”

Anna mumbled something and pointed to the table where all our phones were, so the bald guy took the vibrator there and messed with phones until it turned off.

Anna started to pull her pants up, but the bearded guy shook his head and said, “Nah-uh. You’ve lost your pants privileges.” He made her take her pants and panties off, and he put them on the table. And then he made us sit back down.

I had no idea what to do at that point. She had just been humiliated and violated, and, I don’t know, made to withstand sexual torture? So I wanted to be there for her, but obviously she wasn’t going to want to be touched, right? She started crawling all over me, touching me and kissing me and stuff. She put my finger inside her vagina! Her body was pressing against mine. She touched my crotch, and, of course, I was hard. I couldn’t help it!

The boss-man called all his guys into a huddle, so they weren’t watching us very closely.

Anna started whispering in my ear, “Let’s do it.” I asked what and she said, “Let’s fuck.” I don’t know if you’ve ever heard a girl with a Scottish accent say, “let’s fuck”, but that’s got to be the sexiest thing in the world.

I told her they’d kill us, but she said they were going to kill us anyway and did I really want to die a virgin? I don’t know how she knew, but I guess she did. My finger was inside her and she was grinding on it, and she squeezed it with her pussy somehow. I know it sounds weird, but feeling inside her, it was like I suddenly understood the world in a way I never had. So when no one was looking she took my hand and we slipped away.

We went to this little backstage area behind the auditorium. She pulled down my pants and rubbed my balls until my dick was completely hard. That only took a couple seconds. I’ll never in my life forget the greedy look in her eyes just then. She told me, “Oh - you’re kind of big.”

I know you’re supposed to start with foreplay, but she sat me down with my back against a wall and my legs straight out, and then she climbed on top and started riding. It was amazing: her pussy was surrounding my dick, moving up and down on it. It was slippery but kinda tight, and so warm! And I could tell that it felt as good for her as for me.

At first she was just panting and smiling at me, with her hands on my shoulders to steady her as she went up and down on my cock. As amazing as that feeling was, there were all kinds of other firsts for me going on too, like touching a girl’s bare butt and kissing her neck. And it felt like with each one of those little discoveries, my dick got longer and touched deeper inside her. I know that can’t be true, but that’s what it felt like.

Guys are supposed to try to last a long time, but it was my first time, and, I mean, you can’t blame me. Have you seen her eyes? They’re so green and alive - like nature itself. So anyway, I couldn’t hold back and my dick started squirting, and that went on for just a few seconds, but it was better than anything in the world. I think maybe she could feel it too, and she liked it, because of the way she was smiling at me.

And she could tell when I was done, too, because she stopped grinding on me and nuzzled my cheek. But then, twenty seconds later, she got this puzzled look on her face. She looked down, and then she wiggled her hips around, sort of stirring my dick inside her pussy. I guess she expected me to go soft, but I didn’t. She looked me in the eye and smiled and, again I’ll never forget this as long as I live, she whispered, “oh, you’re a keeper.”

So she went right back to fucking me like before, except now it was making a sloppy wet noise. She was more into it than ever. She started to whimper and she looked sort of intense. I pulled up her sweater and shirt a little bit and touched her belly button a bunch. I was just about to try to kiss her, but she put her hand over her mouth and was fighting with the moans trying to come out. Then I think her orgasm started, because she leaned forward into me really hard, still working her hips on my cock, and whispered desperately, “Yes, yes!”

I made a girl come. I feel like I should have more to say about that.

So then she got up just long enough to turn around and start riding me with her back to me. She looked back at me as much as she could and it was like she was inviting me to do ... something. I tried taking off her sweater and she let me. She still had a tank-top and bra on up top. I got to squeeze her boobs, and even though she wasn’t naked it was still amazing.

I had actually forgotten about the whole mortal danger thing until the bearded guy came in. He smiled, and held his gun to his shoulder, looking down the sights at us. It was obvious to me that it was time to surrender, but I swear Anna just fucked harder. For a couple of seconds she was staring straight down the barrel of a gun, riding my cock, rubbing her clit, and panting - until I pushed her off.

So the bearded guy brought us back to the others. Neither of us had any clothes from the waist down. Beau and Sophia were staring at us, petrified with fear.

The boss looked unhappy - I guess because we had gotten away unnoticed. The bald guy looked Anna over and then said to the boss: “Tight ass, ginger bush, and come running down her thighs. Hey, she kinda reminds me of that Stacy Nesbit chic you used to roll with in Philly. What do you say we take turns with her?”

The boss speared him hard in the gut with the barrel of his gun - hard enough to make him double-over. “God damn it,” he shouted, “we don’t reveal personal information in front of hostages! And there will be no fucking. Got it?”

Dr. Chauncey F. Spelling M.D.

Assessment of Anna Fraser

After meeting with Miss Fraser, it is my assessment that her actions on the day of February 11 were driven by a sincere paraphilia. I find the F.B.I.’s hypothesis that she was working with the museum robbers implausible.

The source of Miss Fraser’s autassassinophilia, in so much as these disorders can be said to have discrete causes, seems to be a tradition of watching James Bond films together with her father and brothers when she was a little girl. Young Anna would straddle her father’s knee rocking back and forth stimulating her sex organs while the family enjoyed the stimulatingly violent images on the TV together. Her recollection deserves some skepticism, as she claims to have discovered orgasms at an unprecedented age, but as she recounts the experience, she would climax a half-dozen times throughout each picture, with a degree of unspoken encouragement from her family.

The first noteworthy manifestation of the disorder seems to have been when she was eleven years old, and she and her step-brother hit a tree with their car in the countryside, outside of cell phone coverage. Her step-brother, the driver, was concussed and disoriented. Believing that it was dangerous to let a concussion victim fall asleep, she claims, she undertook the extreme measure of engaging in sexual intercourse with him to keep him awake.

When asked how she felt about the decision in hindsight, Miss Fraser became defensive. She insisted that her step-brother deserves no blame for the impropriety, claiming that she “basically raped him,” but that she also saved his life.

It’s worth noting that Miss Fraser remembers the pain of her first sexual experience fondly, and expressed a wish to be “become a virgin again” so that she could experience it again. It is my expectation that if I were to meet with Miss Fraser further, I would find manifestations of masochism and hypersexuality.

Subject: Travis Glick, charged with burglary, larceny, kidnapping

Interviewer: Special Agent Liz Kostanski, FBI

TG: So by this point the Janitor - that’s what we called the military guy who’d been making a mess of our plans - the Janitor had taken out our driver, hidden the keys to our truck, and gotten rid of our explosives. The boss said we were still in the game - he knew a way to get out - but we’d have to cut into the cage instead of blowing it open. The boss told me and Florida to take a hostage with us and go start cutting.

Obviously, I picked the redhead nympho. The boss said no touching, but there was plenty to look at. I mean, you ever look up Little Mermaid porn on a computer? That’s basically what she looked like - except maybe even more slutty. By then she had nothing on except a tank top and a bra.

Tools were more Florida’s thing. I was just along as extra muscle. The guys joked that they brought me along in case they needed a patsy, but I knew it wasn’t like that. So I was just keeping an eye out - watching the doors, watching Florida cut the bars, and mostly watching the girl.

I asked her what size bra she wears, but it was pretty loud so I couldn’t hear her answer. When I asked again, she took her bra off under her top and handed it to me. 32C. So then she was smiling at me and I was smiling at her, and she was looking sometimes at my gun and sometimes at my pants. And her tits looked fantastic under that one little flimsy piece of clothing. I had nothing else to do, so I just teased her a little bit, just for fun. I pulled up the bottom of her shirt, just an inch or two.

So what did the crazy bitch do? She grabbed my hand with the gun, and pointed it at her own fucking head! Then she grabbed my other hand and shoved it under her shirt. Holy fuck did those perky little milk-makers feel good!

Look, I know I’m a piece of shit criminal, but I would never force a girl to have sex with me. I have sisters, you know? But believe me when I tell you - this chick wanted it bad!

She dropped down to her knees, pulled down my pants, and started sucking me off. It was god damned heaven. She had no trouble taking it all the way in. Girls didn’t know how to do that when I was in school. I glanced over at Florida and he gave me a thumbs-up. I’m sure he was thinking about his turn.