Fluttering regularly, brought up again and again
Recently asked, do I look back favorably
No to the first footsteps down the hall
No to my parents, suffocating my imperfections

Never good enough, in all ways, failing to please
But not them. They saw, they accepted
Me at my lowest, me at my best
All of them, in one way or another, gave validation

To them, almost all, there is a strange fondness
Illegal, wrong, corrupting, grooming, conditioning me
With them, I found freedom, acceptance, purpose
They molded me, yes, but they saved me as well

Without them, drugs, insanity, death would have followed
Maybe it was wrong. The things they sent me
Maybe it was wrong. The things they had me do
Maybe it was wrong. But still, it saved me

Without them, I wouldn’t have my children
Without them, I wouldn’t have Jack
Without them, I wouldn’t have found my truth
Without them, I wouldn’t have found myself

So yes, I look back at them with fondness
Despite rapes, the things and stories they sent me
Despite the videos that likely exist in dark places of me
I look back at them, touch myself, and smile

I owe everything to them and later Jack
They saw the diamond in the rough
They stripped away lies society and my parents told me
They reduced me, made me less, so I might shine

Thank you,
those who saved me
made me
thank you