Chapter 25: Domestic Bliss

Garden of Pleasure Wedding Palace, Suite Twelve

New Pittsburgh, Mars

Friday, June 15, 2153

“So, what was your wedding like?” asked Tasty Brown.

Mary Winston laughed and answered, “Interminable! They take forever! It was exhausting! If I had known what it would be like I would have demanded to elope!”

“What’s that mean?” asked Callie Horsehead. Many Earthling wedding rituals had been dispensed with, but Martians still had the Maid of Honor and the Best Man. Callie was Tasty’s Maid of Honor, a friend from their days growing up in the ghetto.

“What, eloping? That means running away from home with the guy and getting married in a quickie ceremony. Sort of like today.”

“So, what makes it so bad?”

Mary explained, “It starts around dawn. You get up and have to do your makeup and get your hair done, put up in a crazy hairdo. Once that’s done, you have to put on your wedding dress, and we’re talking elaborate! Stockings, special lingerie, high-heeled shoes like you see on the Earthling vids, a dress so long it drags on the ground, and a veil over your head and face. Then you have to go to the church or wedding place.”

“Like here?”

“No, not like here. It’s separate from the reception. After the wedding itself, you have to take a limousine, like a really giant cart, between the wedding and the restaurant or banquet hall. And it has to be big, because it’s way more than just the people getting married. You have the Best Man and Maid of Honor, but there might be up to a half-dozen people on each side, and they have to get all dressed up,” said Mary.

“Is that it?”

“No. The reception is a gigantic formal party, and you have to invite all your family and all your friends and all your parents’ friends and everybody else under the sun. It gets even worse. The wedding is the end of weeks or months of preparations. There are all sorts of formal parties ahead of time. It all costs a fortune. Our wedding cost as much as a year’s salary for the pair of us, and he made a shitload more than me.”

“That’s nuts,” said Callie.

“It gets even worse. You know how after you get married you go on a honeymoon and have wild hot sex? By the end of the wedding and reception, you’re too tired! Most people end up collapsing from sheer exhaustion.”

“Like I said, it sounds crazy!”

“It is.”

“So far, I am liking Martian weddings a whole lot more than Earth weddings,” laughed Mary. She lifted the drink she was sipping from and went out of the room in search of her husband, the Best Man.

The Garden of Pleasure Wedding Palace was different from the average Martian wedding venue only in the size of the rooms. Martian weddings were a lot smaller than their Earthly counterparts. For one thing, the wedding was held at the same place as the reception, and the reception was a whole lot simpler. The party started just a few minutes after the wedding and even though it lasted all night long it was still less expensive, since the menu was mostly snacks. On the other hand, the money saved on food was spent on intoxicants of every type.

Suite Twelve was typical of the wedding suites at the Garden of Pleasure. There was a large central room where the wedding would take place, a long wet-bar along one wall, and wall-size monitors on another wall, currently showing scenes of Martian landscapes; comfortable armchairs and couches were along the walls. There were two rooms off to the side, where the men and the women congregated separately. Paul had commented that some things never changed.

Getting married on Mars was also simple, in that all weddings were civil affairs. Unlike on Earth, where weddings were often held in churches, on Mars, a wedding was nothing more than entering a legal contract. At its simplest, the participants pulled up a contract from the Martian government website, clicked a few icons and links, and laid some derm on a pad, all the while being supervised by an officiant, a third party who made sure they were following the simple rules. Almost anybody on Mars could be an officiant. You didn’t need to be a judge or justice of the peace or a church official. Some people had a friend act as an officiant.

The Garden of Pleasure had people who could act as officiants, and Walker and Tasty had accepted that option. After the ceremony, he would act as the bartender. The ceremony was scheduled for 1100. At 1050, the officiant, a man in his mid-thirties named Nelse Button, who was attending with his wife, checked with Walker and Tasty. “Last chance. Still want to get married?” he asked with a smile.

“Absolutely!” said Tasty.

“You bet!” agreed Walker.

“Well, go pee and poop and otherwise get ready. In ten minutes, your lives are going to change,” he replied with a grin.

Everybody scampered off to the bathrooms, of which each side room had one. Five minutes later everybody returned. Walker was wearing plain white shorts and a plain white t-shirt. Tasty’s outfit was much sexier. She was wearing a white fishnet shirt with white patches covering her substantial breasts and matching tight white fishnet shorts with a white patch covering her sex. Around them, most of the other women were also wearing very sheer and sexy shorts and shirts. They were planning to party after the ceremony.

Nelse stepped into the center of the room. “Please, could I have your attention. My name is Nelse Button and this is my wife Stacy. I have been asked to be the officiant and Stacy will be the bartender and bongmistress. We’re very happy to meet you.” There was some polite applause. “Tasty and Walker would like to get married, so perhaps we can get started. Would everybody move back beyond the circle on the floor?”

Everybody looked at the floor and noticed a two-meter diameter gold circle glowing on the floor. Curious, they stepped back. Nelse tapped his commlink and a small podium rose from the floor, and he stepped behind it, laying his computer on the flat top.

“Friends, we gather here today to join Walker and Tasty in loving matrimony, to join two souls into one, and to celebrate this wonderful event. Could Walker and Tasty please step forward and join hands?” The couple came forward and reached out, holding each other’s hands, along with Paul and Callie. “Walker, do you take Tasty to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ‘til death do you part?”

Walker smiled. “I do.”

“Place the ring on her finger.”

Paul dug into a pocket and pulled two rings out; Callie’s outfit didn’t have pockets. He handed one of the rings to Walker, who placed it on Tasty’s finger.

“Tasty, do you take Walker to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ‘til death do you part?”

Tasty replied, smiling, “I do.”

Paul handed a ring to Tasty when prompted, and she put it on Walker’s finger.

Nelse turned his computer to face them and said, “Walker, lay your derm on the pad.” Walker touched the derm pad, and the officiant said, “Tasty, lay your derm on the pad.”

“By the powers invested in me by the Martian Constitution, I now pronounce you man and wife. Friends, allow me to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Walker and Tasty Stevens.”

Around the circle, everybody applauded and cheered. Nelse took his computer off the podium, and it sank down into the floor again. Then he said, “Now, please stay behind the circle.” He tapped the commlink and the floor opened; a bed rose from the floor, covered with red satin sheets and red satin-covered pillows. “Now, let’s consummate this marriage! Anybody want a drink or a bonghit? The bar’s open!” He and his wife went to the bar, as the newlyweds laughed and hopped onto the bed. The wall screens switched to an overhead view.